Transcript

Hold E on the bad...

OPI.

So, Character background.

I think so. I don't even know what resources to gather. don't...

So when you last left off, you guys were inside of... A very strange place where new monsters were appearing one after the other after the other.

You definitely can't breathe. No, you can't do that right now. I'm going to be using it.

Yeah, this was the place where me and Donnie were taking turns killing monsters. And he called me a chicken wuss, and I didn't like that. So I went and killed another monster.

I said, you called me a chicken wuss, Donnie.

You were just buff-ass paladin sitting over there doing shit.

I power slid. I did a power slide. That is a power stance from a Paladin's perspective. Getting a better angle on my foes.

I don't understand how to authorize this thing.

So when you're looking at the keypad, hold down E, and there should be an option that pops up on the wheel that says enter in. And so enter 17.

I just see authorized. All I see is authorized and it doesn't do shit.

That's it. So that's the cupboard itself you're looking at.

you need to look directly at the keypad.

I feel like I am looking at the keypad.

Or maybe you can't because you're not authorized on the coverage.

Connor. Connor just found a bear.

Oh, God. The Bears are pretty raw, dude. Be careful. If you don't got a bow, good fucking luck. I don't know.

I think he's going down. I think he's dying.

I think it'll do.

on top of a rock, Connor. Get on top of something. Oh, shit.

He got him. He got him. He got him. I just made myself.

I was on, be careful, there's a bear around there. He's in the room holding the door shut.

I'm safely hiding in here.

My heart is with you. I'll pray for you.

I'm using a lot of fucking stone here.

that you're hiding in a safe with a security code.

He made a 16th level or a 12th level character. My bad.

10th, but yeah.

So, Pat, I put down a few little things that I picked up just to whatever, but I don't think that we went through the process of doing any of the stat stuff with them.

We did all your stats. We did everything except for magic items. So just buy whatever you want right now. And then as long as you have the 62,000 gold, you're good. And other than that, your character is set. So we should be good to go.

well that's what i did like i put the i put the gold on the thing But those stats, I don't know how they transpose over.

If any of the items affect your stats, I'll just take a peek at your sheet while we insert you into the game, but most of them don't. They just affect different things, abilities that you do.

Yeah, like dice rolls or whatever. Okay. And then is that on me to remember that shit? Because that's a lot to remember. I'm like, oh, man.

No. We'll ask you for which role we need. Yeah. We will just ask you to click a thing and we'll guide you as we go.

Don't worry, you'll pick it up as we go along. In the additional...

It'll be easy.

All right.

In the additional bracket on the character sheet, there's the AC items and things like that you can like modify in anything that you have that's not automatically put in.

Basically...

Yeah, we'll help you through it.

Is that what the feats and traits stuff is all about?

Yeah, but you can add it in or you can cut and paste and drop it in. It's always going to take a little bit of time getting used to a new interface. That's basically it.

What's your...

What's your class? What's your class?

Oh, what?

He's a He's the Loxodon.

Yeah, hell yeah.

A Loxodon?

Yeah, there, well, you won't be able to find it. It's a loxo, but as far as Pathfinder is concerned, but it's a Magic the Gathering race. It's an elephant humanoid.

I said class, I said class.

Oh, Cleric.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, man, I'm the faith bender, yo.

Nice and cleric.

What type of cleric, if you don't mind my asking?

No, I mean like what?

Cleric.

Yeah, like what?

what to,

Shit, there's two domains you choose, right?

Ryan, you should get Celestial Armor for 22,000 gold pieces.

Celestial Armor.

Yeah, it's in that link that I just sent, the cleric handbook. That's a good guide for picking what you really want. You just basically follow the colors.

Yeah. What domains did you choose?

oh shit, what alignment are you?

That's a great question.

So he hasn't picked a domain yet, so he just won't have access to those spells yet because we had limited time. So he'll do that this week, and he hasn't picked any feats yet. He's got spells, some items, he's got his rolls and his health and his skills.

When you do go looking into the domains, make sure to take a look at the luck domain. Its ability is by far one of the handiest things.

Yeah, it's just going to be a fuck ton of reading and you're going to find out what you want to do You're going to miss a couple, to be honest. You're going to be like, wow, that's dope. That's dope. That goes with that. That's cool. It's like, yeah, there was also the fucking luck domain or the fire domain or some shit where you can breathe fire or some crazy ass shit.

Fuck, I'll always love the travel one, too.

I put out the link to the domains.

I forget how much shit there is to this game until I'm helping someone build a character that's never had one before.

And you're like, oh shit, this wasn't as easy as I said it was.

I was like, oh my God.

Wow, the love domain has adoration, which is an immediate action that makes the target automatically fail and attack.

automatically failed?

Yeah, immediate action automatically fail.

Hey, there's the blue book for that.

Yeah, right. Clashing swords at him and be like, you want to fuck me? I'd fuck me. And the guy's like, uh-oh.

Deluxe domain has good fortune, which is free daily rerolls.

Dude, that's basically free re-rolls. Free re-rolls.

Yeah, the luck domain's fucking cool. It's the best.

It's amazing.

Doing an attack that you can't fucking afford to miss.

They told him about FatePoints.

Yeah, he's already used four to reroll a lot of his stats.

How many does he have left?

Okay, you need... Don't let... Don't...

Where you want to spend

He has

How many do you know? I mean, that's up to him to discuss. Hold on to those fate points.

It's one per level, right?

I tried to get as many of them out of him as possible, but he still has fucking six.

To be fair though,

To be fair

Sinking them early matters.

If you're packing four 18s in your stats, the likelihood that you need them is greatly less, though. It's the right time to use them.

four 18s.

No, I'm just saying like the hypothetically making your stats are actually impressive will save you more rules.

No, he doesn't have four 18s.

He rolled 618. He rolled 618.

I got turned to stone.

And they died.

Yeah, and I have a fondness for ivory, so them things went down quick. And they gored me. Fuck that. I got gored, dude. Those elephants had it coming.

I dragged Donovan's statue over and I lay it down in the pool of basilisk blood.

It was really a sinister laugh that you had over there, too.

It was, it was, it was spinning.

Snicker.

Check out the door.

So the moment those beasts go away, two of these creatures appear.

Fucking...

Fuck.

Wait, cure you?

Fucking I thought...

I see no green.

I thought Basilisk carried their own fucking antidote, and it was either their blood or their spit.

Are you metagaming?

Gargantuan Basilisks? Large Basilisks?

I think there were large

OK, yeah. Then the basilisks are huge.

So I think, yeah, a huge, so Gargantuan is probably coming right now.

And then there's Colossal.

Yeah. And then it's that. So I'm Stone and things are about to get weird.

I think I could heal people, I hope.

You're a cleric. You can easily turn Donnie back from stone.

If he has that spell prepared,

As long as it has the spell prepared. Paddle.

Just tell Pat that you walk in and you had the things prepared and go and touch Donnie.

That's totally fine.

Go through your pockets.

So two of what creatures appear?

Stone of Flesh is fucking level six.

Yeah, right. I've got brick enchantment, which might work, but I don't know.

I know, but stone to mud is also either level 6 or level 5, which is a great combo. You're like, flesh to stone to mud. He's just fucking

Well, unless you're me, I would not appreciate that right now.

Oh, that's fucked up.

Yeah, I looked at Stone to Flesh when I was leveling up, and I'm like, that is such a niche fucking thing. There's no way I'm going to need it compared to how much I'm going to need Disintegrate. And lo there.

Next level, I get to choose that as my Lay on Hands ability. Removes it.

Can anyone do level 6 spells?

What?

Not yet.

I don't have so much lessons.

You can heal Donnie.

I've got a Breath of Life level 5, two castings.

I can break enchantment on him. Yeah, I'm going to try that. I can break enchantment on that fuck.

I don't know if break enchantment is going to work. What level of spell is that?

It's level five.

Alright, well, but you might waste it, so be careful.

And there are potentially two very big creatures coming at you.

But I don't know what any of these spells do that Pat sent me a list of some of the spells that I hand.

Spell frees victims from enchantments, transmutations, and curses. Can reverse even an instantaneous effect. Make a caster level check against the DC 11 plus caster level check of the effect. Or plus caster level of the effect. So...

Wait, you have a scroll of flesh to stone, right? Or stone to flesh.

It says, if the spell is one that cannot be dispelled by spell magic, are a stone to flesh. works only if that spell is fifth level or lower.

Ah, shit.

So Donnie is dead right now is basically what's going on?

No, I'm just a statue. I'm stone. I got turned to stone.

He's not dead.

No, he's just turned to stone.

No. Yeah, do you remember the stone to flesh scroll that you said you had?

Now is a great time to use it. The Cleric.

Yeah, he's talking about the stone to flesh scroll that you bought before you started the game. In the one moment, you can actually buy stuff that no one else...

Yeah. Yeah, that one. That one.

yeah okay let's let me let me write that down and put that back in there

No, it was already written down. You can actually scratch it off.

Yeah, you can scratch it off now.

Scratch it off. Yeah.

Punk bitches. That's what they are. I spit in one of them's fucking face.

What the fuck are those?

Sweet baby Jesus. Don't let him crush me. Don't let him kill me.

little bitch.

I'm not going to do anything. I'm stoned.

McDonough, you're like the safest one here, I think.

Yeah.

Monstrous beast standing nine feet tall with glistening black flesh, head as ovals with deep sunken black eyes, mouth wide and large, double rows of razor sharp fangs, purplish black tongues flick in and out of their mouths, powerful arms and legs with filthy wicked claws, broken black fingernails.

Hopefully.

Yeah.

Hey, ugly, what's the second pair of teeth for?

Nice.

Roll me a diss.

Roll that disc, sucker.

I roll shit talking.

I'm proficient.

Hey,

I really do need to make that rocker.

Would Dispel Magic work on it?

If it was an illusion, maybe.

It says choose any creature, object, or magical effect within range at three or level. Three or level. Lower.

It was the best thing that got him, right?

Nah. Nah, it was a nine. That's not very nice.

Did you make a shit talking?

I pump no points into shit talking.

I have almost no points.

Oh, he just made a skill? Yeah, it's charisma, right? What are you basing on?

Charisma.

Hell yeah. All right. So a new initiative set. Everyone roll initiative.

Including me or not?

You know, Donnie, you roll that initiative.

A negative 20.

You heard the man.

Yeah, man, don't be a victim.

but am I a person or am I a statue? You know what I'm saying?

Your person.

Yeah, you're a person.

All right, Donnie rolled a five, Olsen rolled a seven, Nutty rolled a 15. So go ahead and start us off, Jake.

Oh, well, Jesus Christ. I don't know. Maybe give it the old... I'm still macho, so I'm going in.

The old Kamehameha.

And coming in just fucking dropping this guy.

Roll it.

Give me the AC to hit and the damage.

I actually need to. Yeah, 44, 36, 29.

You're going after a 27 to hit. So that's all hits.

All hits and the first being a crit.

Coming in at? Oh fuck, solid damage.

Yeah, I'm just sorry if somebody

There we go.

78 damage.

78, you said?

No, it's going to be 101.

101 damage.

Is that including all the what-ifs I give you?

Oh, nope. Plus 20. 121.

20.

121.

Yeah, five for each attack damage and attack roll.

And you know that you get an extra one, right?

All right.

Does anyone have protection from evil?

You have protection from evil.

DR5.

Okay, so anyone including you, but you're just gonna have to you're gonna use your dr against this it emnates immediately Waves of evil damage both of them so a total of 4d6 total 2d6 from each one ripples throughout the room and hits everybody so

Oh, Jesus.

Do I take damage from this too?

you are stone i don't know if you can take damage from this i'll check i rolled it twice just the first one applies 15 damage apply your dr twice jake because it was from two sources

Ooh.

Hi Pat, do I get the DR for sinusomas?

What is sinusomas?

That's what I am.

my race.

And your race gets damage reduction?

Against evil, yeah. Because we're good.

Yeah, then you get it as well. Up to whatever its value is. So, I don't know what that is. So, you would not take any damage from this since it was...

You know, fuck these guys.

So, Ozon's immune to damage. Jake, you negate. You only take...

He only takes five.

Five from it.

Yeah, I'm at 75 points.

When you are turned to stone,

You only take blunt damage or shattering damage, you can be killed, but you are immune to this particular attack.

Okay, cool.

And I have DR10, so I too take no damage.

As long as it is not affected by evil, then yes.

To my knowledge, stone skin requires adamantine to break.

Yeah, but then there's the varying levels of how that works, right? So you've got...

levels of adamantine.

introduction.

So I'm trying to figure this out.

An extra 10 damage on the one I hit, Pat. for a shield bash.

Okay. Overcoming DR.

Cold and iron and silver are the weakest kinds of DR, then it's adamantine, and then it's alignment-based.

Damage reductions may be overcome by special materials, magic weapons, any weapon with a higher plus one or higher enhancement bonus, certain types of weapons, and weapons imbued with an alignment. So, alignment base is the strongest, equivalent to a plus five sword. adamantine is the second strongest equivalent to a plus four sword cold iron and silver are the third or third strongest which are plus three and the magic which is just the lowest so

and what does that mean that my stone skin gives adamantine with the what overrides it or like

The only thing that overrides it is adamantine and anything above that, which would be alignment-based weapons and plus five weapons. So plus four, this is evil damage. This is an alignment-based damage. It is literally...

alignment

Is this current damage?

Oh, and then.

Evil incarnate.

Yeah, this is called Aura of Evil and it deals 2-6 of Profane damage.

All right, so I do take the 15.

I believe you do take the 15th. Yes, you do. Because profane damage are heavily infused with the power of sheer evil. This literally is the only time you've taken evil damage.

Yeah, but Jake does not take it because he has damage reduction.

Ozone's got a higher DR than me.

Yeah, I'm a magical moth, man.

And you know, if it makes me feel any better, I can also fly.

I can sit next to fires without being scared. So I'm good.

Okay, it's their turn. So you do that damage to him and he looks fucked up, Jake. You did 100 and what?

121. No, 131.

and a hundred and

131 damage, he looks fucked. Fucked up. fucked up

He does.

Oh, and that was just an aura, so that doesn't count as this move.

So they both start blurring, as in the blur spell, as they just begin to begin their turns.

God damn it, man.

This one does a straight attack against...

Let's see.

Wait, hold on. No, Pat, I rolled a crit. I hit him with a critical hit. That motherfucker's got to roll a DC 20 will save or be under my command.

Okay.

okay but you're good align damage you did to him right so his damage reduction doesn't apply okay

So, Go ahead and roll your crit. What was it? What does he have to do?

The monster I struck has to roll a DC 20 will save.

Or be...

Under my suggestion.

Dope. Alright. So he rolls his will save. which is gonna be this plus this, DC 20.

And he makes it.

I'm in there. I'm 20 feet in there. Actually, I don't know if I'm 20 feet anymore because I don't know where these crates are because I'm on the lower ground.

Yeah, I'm flying.

What about you, Rich?

What about you, Nut?

How hard are the rates?

I'm by the door and I got this placement on myself.

They're crashed down.

Okay, so you have displacement on yourself, and you're by the door. Are you hiding?

Okay, you notice that once these two demons spawned, the door, you heard a click.

It was very audible and very loud.

Nutty, the big one's going to be coming through the door. Hold it down.

Okay, other than that, these guys go. It's going to be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, I'm going to go. 10 reroll or 9 reroll 10 they'll actually attack donnie even though he's stone which is less chance than you guys okay so d10 with a 10 or 9 reroll here we go and it's going to go counterclockwise from Jake, so I remember the order. All right, first one is going to be Rich. Second one, it's going to be...

One, two, three, four.

Ozone.

Man. Are these things dumb?

And two bolts of lightning appear from the roof and they call lightning in a vertical line down. One on Rich, one on Ozon. I need a DC 18.

My bad.

and that is for reflex save. Five foot wide, 30 foot long vertical bolt of lightning. strikes down...

Each round after the first, they may call it again and again for a total of 10 minutes.

Can you use it inside a building?

It says, yeah, you can.

Yeah, there's, if you're using it outdoors and in a stormy area, it deals 3d 10 instead of 3d six.

So that's saving throw made, saving throw made. So you guys get half of 3d6. So this is the first. And then the second.

I'm gonna take this opportunity while frozen in carbonite to smoke a cigarette.

So half a 13, half a 9 rounded down is 6 and 4.

six to rich. four, two, ozone.

And then this one,

Oh, wait. I just realized I've still got my...

shadow clones on or my mirror images.

And then they both go ethereal.

And they yeah, and you

Does this work?

Actually, I don't know if they can.

Yeah, okay, you can be in this hero plane from... And then they disappear.

Oh, Jesus.

And it is Nutty's turn.

I opened the door.

It opens.

Inside, you see a stone dais with an ice block that is a perfect cylinder, and inside is an elephant humanoid.

I can go left, Pat. I don't see that thing, but the door's going to open.

It totally does.

I just assumed things were going to be locked until the demons are dead.

Said you see on a giant stone pedestal, you see a perfect cylinder of ice and inside is an elephant man.

Does it look like there's a way to remove said ice?

Doesn't look like it.

I am not a monster!

It's cold in here, fellas.

So Nutty, is that all you do?

No, I go inside there and I go, I use my movement to go up next to that ice thing, but my action was still open the door.

So you go up next to the ice. Ozon, what do you do?

Doo. Let me just check the description here.

Do I know where they are because I have blind sense at the moment? Or are they out of the plane because of ethereal?

I was going to see if I could just dimension dorm out of there, but I can't.

Does prestidigitation allow me to just like create fire pet?

It cannot replicate any other spell. It can't do damage. It can do things creatively, like I could press a digitation to clean stuff up, create art, make a strange noise, make a strange smell, manipulate the basic senses.

Can I create something warm. Oh, it can chill, warm, or flavor one pound of non-living material. So I guess

Yeah, you can create warmth. Yeah.

I guess I Pick the pound. of non-living material that's right in front of the cleric's face and I warm it.

using presages of the Jason, however you say it,

Okay. So you're warming the ice?

of the cleric space.

I guess I stand just right by the doorway. I don't go in.

Ah, yeah, I wouldn't try to help fight the other two giant monsters either, man. That's exactly what I wouldn't do.

What's wrong with you guys?

I feel like I'm having control, Jake.

crazy. It started off as two bats and didn't threaten the party at all, but now we have to fight two demons and God knows what's next after them.

I am trying to help. I'm trying to help by having this cleric wake up and, you know, cast some spells.

that might be useful against evil creatures.

I mean, I am all that is man. I'm out here by myself.

Try to kill everything everybody knows!

All right, so you start warming the ice and it starts visibly melting around the area that you're doing that on.

Cool. Of course, I'm still singing to encourage Jake while I do this. Even though he doesn't appreciate me.

I appreciate the shit out of you.

I'm going to go and see if I can't straight up detect their auras.

What are you trying to detect?

As a move action, I'm concentrating on individuals within 60 feet. To see if there's aura. To see where their auras are so I can hit them. Because for all I know, I can't.

Does it work across planes?

DM

No, it does not. That was me asking redundantly. You do not detect any evil.

Do I know where they are if I have blind sense going?

No, you do not. Roll me knowledge planes. Anyone can roll knowledge planes if they want right now, except for Ryan, who's stuck in ice.

He was nicer to you, Rich.

And me who's stuck in stone.

and Donnie who's stuck in stone. Ozan, you saw them shift away and you recognize that as a shift into the ethereal plane. So they can still see you, they can see into the Feywild from the overlapping plane, any move action, and then you know that there are spells that allow them to do that, you're not sure what they use to do that, probably a supernatural ability, but they did go into the ethereal plane.

I let everyone know.

What do you know?

I'm going to fly over and fly Donovan into the other room.

And Jake, what did you say you did? You attempted to

yeah, I just see if I can check their evil auras all around me.

Okay, yeah. Okay, so that was no go. Anything else?

Yeah, I got a little standy.

Richard got hurt

I'll channel positive energy.

Let me see. Snap the center.

with everybody within 30 feet.

Couldn't move Donnie's icon, but I just moved him with me over towards the crew.

Everybody heals, 29.

Oh shit, yeah. Back at full.

Any evil creatures who were undead take damage.

They do not take damage, they are not on your plane of existence.

I was wondering if the other undead things were in here, but thanks for clarifying, Pat.

And that's

And they pop back.

into the real world.

Without that funny weird tint. that somehow makes them less threatening.

It totally does. You're right.

call lightning triggers again over the top of the same people except for ozon's out of the room and so it hits rich and one two three four five six seven eight actually one two three four because it doesn't target donnie just targets the two that are in the room one two jake three four rich three four rich You get call lightning comes down one, comes down two. Roll me two reflex saves, DC 18.

Reflex for half.

So one made, one failed, but I've also got the damage reduction 10.

16 damage. So,

The fail's also a nat one.

this is lightning damage so yep dr 10 so you don't take any damage And then these

Not one on a save is not the same as a not one on a skill roll.

I don't know, on a reflex save?

That just means I took it to the face.

And then these both go Claw Byte on you, Jake. Actually, let's see. One, two. Now they both click Claw Byte on you, Jake. You got Claw Byte on the first one.

Which one was injured?

I don't even get one of them attacking me.

Rich, are you flying, Rich?

That's alright. Jake's got a lot of DR evils, so he's gonna help him.

How close, Jim, are you flying?

I'm five feet above the ground.

Okay. One, two, three, four. Jake. One, two, Jake. Three, four, Rich for the second one.

One, two, Jake. So they both attack Jake.

and they do a claw bite. So I've got the first one is,

La.

Which one was the one that is injured that I fucked up?

The one that's directly on the bottom one.

OK, because I get plus six to my AC when he's attacking me.

38, 34, 32. Clocklobite. And the next one, so what's your AC?

Next one is claw, bite.

26.

which is 21, 26.

Those fail.

Okay, miss. So for the first one's hits, 2d8 plus 8, 2d8 plus 8.

You should probably roll the damage separately for his DR.

Separate damage, separate damage.

Two ones.

Yeah, you got lucky. What's your DR Evil 10, Jig?

So,

No, five. It's five.

disregard the

Oh, five, okay.

Disregard the second 2d8, and there's two 1d8 plus 8s. So I misread that. Okay, so 10 damage, 13 damage, 14 damage.

10, 13, 14?

Okay, so five, eight, nine.

13, 22 damage total.

After DR, yes.

And then,

And then they both fade into the ethereal plane.

Is that door open?

Yeah.

I just use my term trying to melt the ice.

How do you melt the ice?

I rub my feathers.

It's actually creating some friction and just like depressing digitation, you see some water coming down a little bit.

I mean, does it look like we're making progress or?

Your feather... Not really. Your feathers just are getting really cold.

also are you warm are you a warm-blooded creature nutty what are you trying to fool we try to pull here you warm-blooded creature

I bet you if we defeat all the monsters, the ice will melt.

I don't believe you.

Good call. I didn't believe that shit either.

are warm-blooded.

I'm trying to tell you guys to get me out of the ice. That's my elephant noises.

So you're saying the prestige doesn't do anything?

No, it is. It is much better than Nutty's cold feather rub. It is slowly melting a little bit of the ice.

I will...

Cast it again to stack the effect.

I doubt its effect stack.

I think it says duration one hour. So that's why I figured in my stack if I, Tell it to warm something and I tell it to warm the same thing again. It's gonna warm it for 59 minutes. Double power.

But the spell's already cast on it, like, would it take effect again?

is prestidious vision. Also, are you my dungeon master?

What's up?

If I cast the same thing again in the same area, will it double the time?

If you cast the same thing,

In the same time...

stack.

I'm not going to let the prestigitation stack.

All right, so what about if I create a fire source?

Once the prestidigitation ends, you can cast it again.

After an hour? Come on, man. We're not going to be here in an hour.

It's, yeah, you're not going to increase, you're not going to double the rate every round until eventually it gets hot enough with prestidigitation, but you will be able to have like a like one centimeter per like minute melt rate and then after an hour you'll be able to get back to that, you know what I'm saying?

How many centimeters are we talking about?

You're talking about zero level Prestige Space. You are warming the ice. That's it.

You can make your breath smell different. That's the way the spell works.

Yeah.

you want cold breath that's what that spell does like oh weird like prestigitation is gandalf spinning a spoon in his coffee that's all it is

No.

It's like mint. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure

Like with magic. That's it.

Yeah, it's like having the broom sweep the floor for you, not fucking change temperature.

fucking it.

That's good.

So you're saying that this is like some special kind of ice.

Is that right?

I'm just saying that you're trying to use the least powerful spell in the game. And that's it. That's just what it does.

OK, but what I'm...

I understand that. I'm just saying I'm using that spell to melt fucking ice, which isn't rocket science, goddammit.

Yeah, I go and pee on it with moth pee.

I'm not trying to freeze. I piss on it.

A good call, Ozone. I wouldn't be trying to freeze either. Fuck that shit. We don't know what kind of this is.

Yeah, I continue to play my music while I kiss.

Rich, what are you doing?

Rich, what are you doing?

What?

Rich, what are you doing?

Hey Rich, do you have some spells maybe?

I'm going to fly just a touchdown here and ready to disintegrate for the next time those fuckers come back into the plane.

Can you melt this ice real quick though?

so at the moment one of them returns i can disintegrate them

You're ready to get an action to disintegrate.

And that is turn.

And it's turn. All right. And after you, it is Jake. And then after Jake, I'm going to put the demons on deck.

I tell everybody, or if there's anybody in the hallway, I tell them to get the fuck out of the hallway, and then I do my famous paladin, powerslide.

And then Rich... On their turn, is that turn, Jake?

I tell him to come out and fight me. I start screaming. Start talking shit. Intimidating. Fucking demons turn.

All right, they pop back. Rich, which one is your proc on?

All right. Fuck that guy.

Which one does it pop onto?

the one that does not look fucked up.

It's really hard to tell the first glance. They just pop in a thing. Which one do you shoot at? Moment's notice.

One right against the wall.

Okay, that is the one that hasn't taken any damage.

83 damage. What's the reflex save?

Fuck yeah, Rich.

Or Disintegrate doesn't have one, does it?

Fortitude partial, let me see.

If he makes his fort save, it only is 5d6.

But if he doesn't, what is it?

would be 22 d6. Let me check what my force save would be for level six spell.

22d6, jeep it's not max 20.

Max 40.

Dope. Alright, so fortitude saves is weakest save. That's good for you. DC.

25.

DC 25, he rolls and makes it.

Damn.

Let me roll those 5D6.

Whoa.

22.

22 damage.

Alrighty, then they go.

Okay, so they pop back and they go... And call lightning down on you, Rich. And then attack you, full attack.

So the call lightnings are 3D6.

And then the attacks are...

Clock, labite, clock, labite.

All right, and what is your armor class?

Let me go do the math real quick.

You got your mirror images up too.

Yeah, I have seven mirror images up, displacement, and my improved armor and my shield up. So it should be 29 as my AC. And...

I want to say it would be a 50% miss chance because of displacement. And then I have seven clones. So they have to clear through those.

So what's your AC?

Confirming real quick.

29.

Okay, 29. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6. Miss, hit, miss, hit. So two hits. It's a claw and a bite. Both of those need to confirm your concealment. So over 50% would confirm it. So the first one misses. Is it full concealment?

I don't believe so.

What is it?

What do I have to get over?

I think it's a 50.

Okay, so that's 50%.

Yeah, 50% as if it had total concealment, yes.

Total consume it. Okay, so that's two misses. So only one, actually no, only two of them hit. So the claw missed and then the bite hit. So you just take 2d8 plus 8 after all of the defensive moves, which is 2d8.

And did that hit through the shadow clones or the mirror images?

Is mirror image giving you total concealment?

Oh, I just have seven other clones. So it's a one in eight chance of hitting.

Oh, and if he hits one of the other ones, then it dissolves?

Yes.

One in eight chance.

Yes.

Okay, so on an eight, he hits you. Wow, interesting. Got it. All right, so he did hit you, did not hit a Shadow Clone, and dealt 13 points of damage, which then gets taken by your DR, so you take three points of damage.

And I heal too from my fast healing.

So you take one point of damage.

As long as you don't catch them off guard. If you catch them off guard, they die.

You just stomped on his fucking heart when he wasn't in the room.

Yeah, you literally found his soul gem. You know, it was his bad. He left it in a shit place.

You shatter it. But you also got a Nashville 20, which is the only way it would have shattered with such a non... You know, it's a very...

Just stepped on it. Fucking fuck.

Because that shouldn't have happened.

Sometimes it's all down to one dice. Sometimes it's down to one fucking dice roll. Anyway, we are on Nutty's turn. And then they fade into the Ethereal.

I use my clouds and break the ice.

As you claw into the ice... Do you do anything...

particular like do you just start clawing into it you just try to shatter it into pieces

I'm trying to chatter like little pieces, chunks off.

Roll damage. And you have to...

Gah

If you get over its hardness.

Just curious, is he getting sprayed by my pee?

The ice or nutty?

Daddy.

Yes, he is getting sprayed by your pee.

You have to get over its hardness, so roll damage on it.

And you got to get over a hardness of 25.

I have to go over damage 25.

No, hardness 25. But yeah, anything over 25 breaks past its hardness.

Nope, unless he state attack damage works out, which I don't think so.

Then you do not get over the ice's hardness and you're just scratching the ice with your claws.

Aw, man.

I mean, what's worse being frozen or getting pissed on?

Ozon, what are you doing? Oh, and the pee on the ice is this turn that you peed on it. And it's six seconds a round, so you can probably pee, I'd say, for about 30 seconds. So you've got about maybe four rounds of pee left.

Open me up all day.

Do I feel like my pee is helping?

Yes, it is melting the ice. A little.

And is the effect, would you say, stacking with the prestidigitation?

It is stacking with the press digitization.

I'll also, can I pee and throw my star knife at the same time? Seems, I won't take a move.

Are you able to pee and use your phone at the same time? Yeah, totally. You got it.

Yeah, just make sure.

Doing the best I can.

Okay, they kind of flick off the ice. It's too hard. Donnie, what are you doing?

Literally the most damage that they possibly can do.

Aren't I stoned?

Yeah, but you got your thoughts. You can think stuff. Have you developed telepathy?

Thinking, what the fuck is taking these guys so long?

And Rich, what are you doing?

I'm going to ready my last casting of Dragon's Breath for when they return to the material point.

All right, so you have that ready. Jake, what are you doing?

I think about peeing on Donnie, but I know that's not going to help. I... I take... I...

Try to break out of the stone, man. I beat all over your statue.

Hey, man, I was trying and no one else is doing nothing. They don't care. I take a couple steps forward, and then I ready my attack until I see him pop up.

And then their turn. They haven't moved at all. They pop into existence. Both of your abilities trigger. Rich's triggers first, and then Jake's.

sons of bitches.

Rich, fire breath.

What's the DC?

48. with a 24 save on the same one as before.

On which one?

with a 24 save for Reflex or Fortitude.

Reflux.

This plus 17.

That's a pretty good reflex roll for a creature that size.

eight, nine, 10, 24.

Ah, got him.

23.

If it was six plus 17.

seven

Yeah, 6 plus 17 is 23. He makes it.

It's 23. Yep.

Was that your DC with 23?

Wait, no, the save was 24.

DC was 24.

Oh, then he fails.

Yeah.

It takes full damage.

48 damage.

48.

He has taken 70 total.

And then Jake, your ability pops.

How do you feel about using that breath against this ice over here?

I'm hitting this dude in front of me. What a guy.

You guys just kind of rolled out of the room in the middle of the fight.

And how do you kill him, Jake?

Dude, it's basically, so it's a foul shot, so it kind of comes in. I just give him one in the shoulder blade, and then I just knee him in the face with my other hand.

As you pierce his shoulder blade, black light spears out of his flesh, and everywhere else that you attack him during this attack, as you slice, this black essence shit just comes pouring out, and he crumples to the ground.

Just a heads up, though, if you're ready and action, you only swing once. You can't do a full take.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Either way, he was so weak, one of those abilities would kill him.

any one of those attacks, and I can see.

Oh, it did roll.

So you can ready a spell, but you can't ready a full attack.

Yeah, because a spell is a standard action and a full attack is a full round action.

Yep, gotcha. So you couldn't ready a full round spell that says full round. Gotcha.

I don't think so unless you've got some Metamagic stuff.

Okay, and then... So they just popped out. Those triggered, and now it's their turn. Call lightning. Only one. Pops up one more time. 1, 2, 3, Rich. 4, 5, 6, Jake.

1, 2, 3, Rich does 3d6 damage to you. Bada, bing, bada, boom. 3d6, blam, roll.

Nine damage, which you shrug off, and then he does it at claw bite. Plus 19 on each roll. One, two, three. 21, 22, 35, just the last one hits. Goes concealment chance, full concealment, whatever ability you have that does that. 27 does not get over concealment, doesn't even hit. Do all of your clones have concealment?

No, I think I was actually curious how that would work, which one would go in which order. Like, do you want me to do displacement first or dispel displacement?

don't know what's giving you concealment.

So only one of your clones is displacing?

So I have displacement on appears to be about two feet away from its true location. It has a 50% miss chances as if it had total concealment. Unlike actual total.

And then you also have Shadow Clone going, right?

Or yeah, mirror image.

mirror image so you have yeah so you're all of your all of your clones are shadow imaging or shadow mirror yeah they're all displacing okay yeah i mean that's just that's how those two spells will stack so it misses your shot even if it hit you it doesn't matter we'll see if it actually got the right one no Yeah, so it misses and then it fades out of existence. And it is...

All right.

Cody's turn. Then Ozone's on deck.

I start peeing on the ice.

It starts to melt the ice.

And the ice, you're melting like a nice scoop in the front of the cylinder. Like the press of digitation, all the pee and the feather rubbing. Like you've got a sweet scoop kind of melted out. And it smells really bad in here. Ozone, what are you doing?

I'm going to change it. song while I continue. I still have a good amount of time to pee, right? So I'm going to go ahead and continue to pee and then sing this while I play.

And you are singing I'm Gonna Piss On You by R. Kelly, but not really R. Kelly, because why would he make a song about peeing on people?

bluff and sense move.

Does anyone need healing, by the way? I can... Probably heal you.

Anyone? Anyone?

I think to myself, man, I could sure use some fucking

I'm good.

I think so. Diggs just hit that big AOE heal.

Come on and braid my hair.

My share.

You are performing.

Donya, what are you thinking about?

Thinking about how much faster I could have killed that demon than Jake.

Rich, your turn.

Oh, that's fucked up.

Nope.

Jake, you're on deck.

I'm gonna ready a fucking lightning bolt.

Okay, you're ready to lighten bolt. Jake, what are you readying?

Move just a tad bit forward and ready my attack for when he pops up.

Okay, so he pops up.

Do you have a special attack or anything to take, like a power attack or something?

Rich, what pops out? Lightning bolt. Roll it.

Because you only get one attack.

He rolls a reflex save. Plus 17. Makes it. What's half damage?

You could probably lay a hands good and do good damage to him.

Well, yeah. Well, can... You know, as a swift action, can't I lay hands on myself? Like, can I just wait until he does it, or do I have to ready an attack?

40 and he, so it was 31 for a save. Yeah, definitely. So 20 damage.

He makes it.

He doesn't pop up to his turn, Jake, so you probably have to ready it.

Okay, he takes 20 damage. And then what did you ready?

I'm just saying, look through your spells, because I know you got some that do some shit to evil things, and you only get one standard actions already.

Paladin spells are fucking garbage. And...

There's gotta be like a lay on hands or like do good damage or do... any like healing anything should hurt evil

Even as fucking close to as my normal attacks are. Nowhere near that shit.

A single normal attack, though?

Isn't your SMITE still standard?

So just take the one from the top.

40 damage with the crit.

So how much damage do you do on the first one?

Okay, so you critical hit, but you don't confirm your critical. So it's just regular damage.

Then, yeah, just 23.

23 damage.

That's a crit too though, isn't it?

It's a crit, but it's confirmed critical is a one. So it's just a regular hit.

Well, I didn't

So 20 plus 5.

28.

and then he goes one two three you four five six rich how intelligent is this

Yeah, he's smart enough. He turns towards you, Jake.

Yeah, the guy that's seven of these blurring wizard dudes or the one guy who he's actually been able to hit.

Also, he has a reach of 10. And he tries to pin you, Jake. Wrote your CMD.

I accept it. No. Handsome man. Now get out of here. My CMD is 20.

All right, sweet, you're pinned.

Dog it out of here.

Okay, so he does a d20 plus 20, 36 against your CMD, and pins you, or at least grapples you, and he's going for a pin. So a pin is an action for next turn, right? If he goes for a grapple, which he just did, that is his move.

That is his combat maneuver for the turn.

You are in his grasp. He's holding you. go whoever's next oh and then

works. And then he takes you with him to the ethereal plane.

And you both disappear.

He grabbed Jake and took him with him to the ethereal plane.

That's all.

No, the light one did that.

Looks like we got some time to get this ice melted.

Buddy, what are you doing?

I can kill a giant demon faster than Nettie can melt ice. I just want to let you all fucking know that shit.

I can too.

Jake, all around you see the shadow version of everybody. You see beyond. You can see through the dungeon. You can see the ground below you. You can see your ship through the walls. Everything's transparent and translucent. You can see just everything around you. You're floating in the ethereal plane that's paralleling the astral. And you see the demon as the squirrel. weird floaty version of himself holding you.

I scream out one word, heresy.

And Nutty. What are you doing?

Just keep peeing.

You get more of a carved out hole. Ozan, what are you doing?

Oddly, I have, I'm pretty sure, things in my pocket to create fire in addition to fire spells.

I've still got a motherfuckin' barrel of gunpowder.

Ozon, what are you doing?

The monsters shifted, right? They're not here anymore?

not here anymore and they also took Jake this time

I guess I'm also ready in action to fascinate it if it were to come back here.

And that's it.

And then, Rich, what do you do?

I ready a baleful polymorph.

Jake, it's your turn. You're both in the ethereal plane. You're both ethereal.

for that reverse grapple.

Wait, is he one size category larger than me? Just one, or is he two?

He is large.

Okay, you can still grapple him.

Yeah, that's fine.

Let's go, biatch. At 20.

Nat 20. Roll it again.

26, you're trying to go for a 34. That was a failure, and it is his turn. On his turn, He does not shift back from the ethereal plane. He stays.

And while he stays, he pins you.

and he's attempting a pin.

conditions.

A pinned creature is tightly bound and can take few actions. The creature cannot move and is denied dexterity bonus. Okay, a pinned creature can always attempt to free itself through a combat maneuver check or escape artist, but you can only take verbal and mental actions other than that. You can't cast spells, you can't do cast abilities, unless you do a concentration check. doesn't require semantic component. Okay, so you are pinned if you fail a How does he...

Does pinning require an additional check?

I believe so. I think it's a couple of steps that I do.

This plus 20, 31. Success pinned. And Nutty, your turn.

I turn it on, I'm back to that pin.

You're peeing. Ozone, what are you doing?

I guess I'm still waiting.

Rich, what are you doing? You're ready to action expired since he didn't pop back.

Oh shit, and I.

I cast summon monster 5 and summon 1d3 small fire elementals.

Alright. So three fire elementals go warm the ice cylinder standing around it.

Fellas, where do I find out what the spells I have are? Pat gave me a list of what they were, but I was trying to Google to see what they are, but I couldn't find all of them.

I got you. I got you.

your specialty ones are also going to be linked to your domains you'll get like certain ones that are yeah

We didn't pick domains yet, but you go ahead and text that to the Discord channel, all the spells you have, or just Google it and say Pathfinder after each spell.

You can cast up to level... I think you can cast one level 6 spell, depending on your Wisdom Mark.

Okay, I see what it is. Thanks, dude.

The moment that the fire elementals start surrounding and basically looks like they're praying to the elephant god, these tile elementals, the ice starts melting at a rapid rate. And the legs of the elephant begin to be exposed and thaw out.

or begin to thaw out. Ryan, for the first time in a very long time, your character feels warmth in this icy suspended animation. And Jake, what are you doing?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Trying to fucking free myself.