Transcript

So you guys are on the frigid mountaintop.

You guys are on this frigid mountaintop. You've got all these ice creatures and some big-ass fucking frost giant-looking motherfucker in front of you. no fucking idea the what's around you. All you can see and feel is the blizzard. It feels like 60 mile an hour winds just pushing you around up the top of here. It's the snow. visibility is low. If you guys dressed in warm clothes, good on you. If you guys already drank your Endure Elements, good on you. I don't remember anyone drinking their Endure Elements potions. You're going to start rolling...

We had Donnie cast it before things popped off.

What is the duration on that spell?

It's 24 hours divided however one sees fit, and since there were six of us, I'm assuming we're all good for four hours.

Everyone is good for four hours.

Go ahead and roll initiative.

hear each other? Like, is it windy in a, like, we have to shout to hear each other way?

You have to shout. Yeah, or use telepathy. It's fucking loud.

I'm telepathic regardless.

So you said it's really fucking loud out here. There's no chance we heard anything they fucking yelled as we teleported in, right?

It's okay. I can manage.

No, you don't.

What does everybody speak?

Oh yeah.

I speak Blizzard.

speak

Undercommon, Abyssal, Aquin, Orin, Celestial, Draconic, Dwarven, Elven, Gnome, Giant, Infernal, Orc, and Terran.

All right.

I speak Abyssal, Celestial, Cyclops, Drought Sign Language, of course. Infernal and Intreant. And coming.

You get all that, Pat?

that the Drow Sign Language

No, I have who? The one on the top right is me. I have dwarven, elven, and dark folk.

Does anybody have

I didn't hear anyone say common.

I said common.

Common and under common. You happy now?

I just figured that goes without saying. Of course I speak common.

Jess, I thought you were on my tip for the Drow sign language. You're about to get a low five. It's still waiting for you.

You have to teach people that. You don't let us try them.

You won't let us.

I'd love to know Draft Sign Language. I don't know it, though.

It's the most...

Yeah, you can't choose it no matter how many languages you have to start.

No, yeah, you can. You can just straight choose it, dude. It's the most, it's one of the best languages, period.

For a lot of the things I was reading, it seems to bar drow sign language and druidic or whatever it is.

a long time.

Judaic. Yeah. I don't think you can learn. I think that's the hardest one to learn.

I'm looking into this because cool secretive hand-like languages are just badass. Yeah.

especially with the most hated class.

So if you know it, you can theoretically teach it to us.

Yeah, that's true. With the most hated class in D&D.

Pretty sure gnomes don't have sign language.

an eight,

Where the fuck is Donnie's initiative?

Miss Cleo's initiative is 23. He's the highest. Oh, no. And Richard is second highest.

All right, down here roll to 14.

And then this dude...

Gets a turn.

Can they all see us?

Are you sure they noticed us?

Yeah, well, the odds are they're looking at this exact situation.

I might be sure. I don't know if you're sure about anything.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we came in silence and violence.

I give him the old Colossus arcade machine. Fucking... Yeah, that's...

Cleo, you rolled a...

20 natural.

I remember. Oh, did I?

I'm asking.

No, 18.

It was a 23, so it was still go.

Did anyone roll a natural 20?

Not that I'm aware of.

Dude, she gave you a free read, Pat.

And then I got 21... From you, Jake, right? And then I have a 21 for Rich. I thought 22. I don't know why it should have been 21 on here.

I know, but if you're adding them, you can just look to the right side of the screen. You can see what everybody wrote without

Yeah, no, I'm just trying to verify that it's right. Because it auto-populated incorrect. It auto-populated some of them

And God forbid it's all on you to fucking do the math. So I love you.

Trying to make sure it's right. Okay. And then these dudes rolled as well.

What was blindness a level 2 spell?

So it's pretty...

Minus two. That's a bitch shit.

That is some bitch shit.

on the turn order is frost giant dude

You guys... are not near him.

What the fuck is their bonus... initiative.

What was what? Yet you don't know what his initiative is.

I see you rolling in private.

I mean, I rolled 14, and then I added a number to it. You can infer that it was 10.

Got it. I believe you.

It's very sneaky.

It is a hell of an initiative.

How many hits I do they have?

You don't know. You got a spell that tells you that?

Nope.

All right. And it floats into the sky.

us cheating. What level are we? Fuck.

The ice giant floats into the sky, you're saying?

It floats into the sky.

How big is the giant, would you say? Is it like giant?

And it starts watering. walking on the air as if it's

It's been a moonwalk up into the air.

Walking up a hill. It's

So it's moving like it's like crawling and walking like not crawling. It's just walking 45 degrees into the sky and the winds moving around a tiny bit but not too much.

And yeah, that is...

Do we make eye contact?

But what's up?

Do I make eye contact with it?

It's very hard. You see its shape through the blizzard-y snow, because it's right now about...

Can I do perception to see if it notices us?

Yeah, go ahead. On your turn. Okay, so it's 100 feet away. So you're having a really difficult time seeing it. You see this giant figure moving, but you can't quite make the details around it.

But yeah, you'll have to do perception as an action on your turn. It is...

roll in

And then

And then you see it glow, and it looks like it can see you because a blue-white ray of freezing air springs from its hand. And I need from... Let's see. Accessor level. It's...

them in peace. They do not have peace.

Yeah, is he not trying to open the line of diplomacy, Pat? I feel like he's not really trying the diplomacy route here.

You know, you write. It's crazy. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. So, 1 Ozon, 2 Donnie, 3 Nutty, 4 Rich, 5 Jess, 6...

Like, come on, can't we just...

Nutty, you're the... Who's this guy? Is that Nelly?

Let's have this go.

One, two, three, four. Rich.

That's me. That's me.

What do I need to roll for half of that damage?

a freezing you need to roll it's a ranged touch attack saving throw is none You must succeed on a ranged touch attack with the ray to deal damage to the target. The ray deals 1d6 points of cold damage per caster level maximum. D4.63. All right. Do you have spell resistance?

I do not.

All right.

Who laughed? Who fucking giggled right there? That's not funny.

Do you have any resistances to cold?

Nope.

You take 58 damage.

Hey, you didn't roll on your touch, Tech. You didn't roll.

That's true. I did not roll a touch attack. I assumed he made it.

My touch is 20.

Why would you assume that?

All right, 19 plus his bonuses to hit. What's your touch AC?

20. So you definitely hit me. Fuck!

I don't know. He might have a negative to hit. I mean, most likely not, but he might...

He doesn't. He doesn't. You hit me.

He hits.

What about the Endure Elephant spell? Should that make him resistant to like

No, I don't think that's going to help me.

Does that give you resistance to gold?

I mean, in my...

It makes me resist. Okay, let's see. Because the spell's description says I can comfortably exist in up to like negative 50 or something like that.

But I don't think that shields me from that.

you're comfortable

you comfortably...

Only the mythic version gives you resistance. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, so. Nope. Full damage.

Full damage. You take 58 damage.

Yeah, so that would just pretty much kill me in one shot.

You hear laughing maniacally across the icy corridor. Miss Cleo, your turn.

That sounds like diplomacy.

I mean, if they can laugh, they can come together and pull hands together.

I say we all shoot Rich and make this giant laugh more.

Please, God's...

Did this thing just attack from like 100 feet away? Is that it?

It did. It attacked from 100...

Yep. You can just hit whoever he wants and then, yep.

and then laughed.

And then it left.

He laughs when he shoots Rich. Hit Rich, everybody. We got to do it.

turncoat motherfuckers.

It could have been any of us.

Like...

Fireball. Just kidding. I don't get Fireball.

Well good thing I got a lot of fucking life, Jesus.

I can do telepathy though, guys, with this dice giant. well, okay. Stoneskin. Who wants some stoneskin? I don't know if...

Not a bad call. I don't think we're going to... I would love some fucking stone shit.

I had to I feel like at this point you're a lost cause because what's your HB?

98. I'm currently at 40.

Oh, shit, 98? All right, maybe I will then.

Okay, alright, yeah, I'll stone skin you. I'll stone skin you, baby. There you go, 10 DR.

Done so.

Actually, maybe telepathy would be a better option. Try for the thing, because I don't think we're beating this guy. I'm going down.

Yeah, I mean, if you shoot me with that,

I already said the words.

So maybe next round.

Press the button, it's in the logs.

I don't think we have a way out though either.

And then I look around, Pat. Do I see any place to hide or run away?

Should I roll perception instead of move?

There's a... Yeah, real perception.

33 baby...

There's a sheer cliff behind you that's about 120 feet tall. It's icy and craggly. It extends this way until it goes to the edge here. There is no path to arrive here. There's no way behind you unless you start climbing up the cliffside.

So we're talking like a railroad track, and I'm on a railroad car, and I'm going to ram myself right into these five giants.

How quickly can we give ourselves fly?

one giant

Wait, why do I see four giants?

Those are golems.

The Giants already go in the air, so I'm not sure fighting is getting us away from them.

That's the giant. Got it. Got it. Goblins versus giants. Yep. I'm with you now.

Cool. All right. Wait, what's this?

Once what?

with the thing that I'm pinging right now, all the way up north.

That's a glowing flag.

Yeah, it's all over if we get the flag, right?

Those are my actions. I looked around for an escape, did not find anything, and I cast Stone Skin on our tank.

Alright DPS, let's go.

I'm gonna have to...

Cast...

shit.

cure series I'm gonna cast shield

And then... Click my heals to activate my haste. And then

Two.

See if I can knowledge Anything about this place?

What'd you say?

17 on a knowledge planes of where we are is...

And assuming I know the stuff about the sextant that you sent me.

Yeah, it was weird. When you arrived into this plane,

It's as if you were imbued additional knowledge about the magical item. Like just being here is filling in some gaps. Like just being here is letting you glean information about the place. Like you're absorbing it from the realm.

Okay.

Your knowledge.

So I don't need to do knowledge planes to know that.

Not to know more about the Nexus, but you do now know that it's called the Nexus where you are. What was your total role?

17.

With 17, you know this is the Nexus, and you've heard of it. It is a prison.

Yep, we are stuck in a terrible prison. We gotta get the fuck out of here. This isn't even other planes. We can't plane shift away.

For big bad evil guys.

It's its own separate lockbox. It's not attached.

It's its own separate box. It is very similar in concept to Carceri. It's not managed by those demon dudes, though.

So yeah.

And I think that's my moves.

Alexander.

doing one dislocator on the first shot. For which?

Which Frost Giant shot the shot?

biggest one.

The big one shot first.

Well, they're all the same fucking size.

The one that's not like the other ones.

Okay, him.

The bare-chested one.

Okay, the one with the axe and the sword? Alright. So he shot, so, shooting the frost giant,

to me. Close to us, I should say. 45, thank God. Giving him giving him the shot, the first dislocator shot, one of my charges to him.

What was it to hit?

31.

Touch AC?

31 Touch and See is a hit.

DC.

Half my level, 5. I wrote DC 20.

21.

or be dislocated 100 feet in a random direction.

You're right. These, what? Fortitude reflex, Will?

Well.

This plus is bonus. Failure.

Roll a D100 in any location pad.

D100?

That DC doesn't count on that one because I viewed my shit to my weapon and that's on a DC off my will. Not on that.

So it's 32 miles in a random direction.

No, one through it. Yeah, in a random direction.

One, two, three, four is northeast-southwest.

left, west, 100, okay, so 32, he disappears.

Well, all right. Thank God! Oh, you're the best. I did not want another one of those rays.

My sionic focus is

Touch AC, get out of here.

Teleporting around.

Fuck that guy.

It gets even worse. Dude, next two levels, it gets... Yeah, I get to shift him through planes of existence. Scions, man, what are we doing here?

Glad you didn't try with that. You can't eject people out of this plane.

Oh, yes, I can.

No, this one's a lockbox. You can't do it that way here.

Yeah, well then I'll kill him instantly.

Whatever.

Doesn't it just fizzle?

Nope. That's up to the GM's discretion.

How many times can you use this? Can you just tap shit all day?

No, three times.

three times a day. You can use not-friendlies too, like if you actually have to like stab them.

Three times.

Yes, I can. Yes, I can.

It's a good like bailout.

And also got that bad boy.

I'll move here and cast this place by myself.

Not a bad decision.

That's where I go.

Well, considering the guy would have one-shot me...

Yeah, Donnie's main shit was supposed to go straight Hulk.

I think Donnie also has a shit ton of spells, right?

He is an alchemist.

Yeah, he has come in the form of potions.

Chris, in your head, Donnie was supposed to go, he's all about being Mr. Hyde, not Dr. Jekyll.

Yeah, that's kind of what I'm picking up here. Does he have his spells listed out in his character sheet? I didn't see any attributes there.

Because it's not in his sheet.

You rolled an eight.

It's the other monsters, the Frost guys.

So they roll up on Yoatheth. Let's see. They're going to walk. So that's their speed. Okay. Does anyone speak giant?

Yes.

You hear them talking mad shit.

Like, what kind of shit? Oh, fuck.

Is there no intimidation factor that we just teleported their overlord?

Is there no coercion in the ranks?

Let's see what their intelligence is.

Please be more than one.

No, they have no care in the world for... the logic that makes tons of sense there.

These dudes roll up and they can't move and attack because their movement is not enough to do so, but they can totally position themselves. Around y'all And that takes up more than one movement for them. Because everything's over 30 feet to get to you.

So they surround y'all and flank the fuck out of you, but they cannot also attack.

And they rise.

take out my sword and the sextant

And I'm going to see if the sextant tells us how to get the fuck out of here.

Good call.

Okay, so how do you do it? How do you use it?

I take it out and look through it with the stone in the slot dealy bob. You know what I mean, right? Yeah.

Yeah, so what you see...

And then I

Which stone do you have in front of the lens right now?

You said we only had the one, right? And it was blue?

So you're looking through the blue one, right?

It is the blue one. So you look through it and the blue one is like you're looking through that gem.

So that one, what now you're seeing is leading you to this location. So you are right now, you see just the area around you and you see like you are in this location. So it's not showing you a portal to go here.

It doesn't do to me yet.

Okay. And like,

Well, this shows you a portal into this place, into this location.

Okay, what if I take it out and do it with nothing? Like, it's pretty useless with no stone, right?

With no stone, it still does not show you anything important.

okay. That would be my, pretty much my turn, right? I can maybe do a swift action from here.

Yeah, you kind of investigate the thing. You can move. You could do... I mean, that was one action was playing with the Dealey Bob. You got another action or move.

or a move.

this sucks. let's see.

Ooh.

Um...

I'm gonna move to the edge.

right here.

Yeah, that's my move.

with hopes of maybe next move getting behind them.

All right.

And now it is Fish's turn before it whips back around to the other side. He's a chemist, alchemist.

He's a chymist, alchemist. It's like a specific branch.

Master Chemist and a Vivisect Beastmorph. Ninth levels of Vivisect Beastmorph. What can they even do?

They get Sneak Attack. Damage.

To their auto text, not auto text, but.

Yeah, he basically hits for sneak damage on top of like claw bite kind of thing.

So does he automatically always get sneaky bites and sneaky claws?

They got to be threatened or whatever to get a sneak attack on them. are flat-footed.

They've got to be flat-footed.

So he just got regular ass bites.

So like flanked and stuff.

Yep, so getting on the other side of them can do.

All right, well, he's going to bite this motherfucker.

He might want to stack a buff on real quick as long as he's got the pre-battle time for it.

Probably threaten if he's decked a buff.

Well, Donnie and I both put on bark skin before we came in.

We were like prepping because we thought we were going to get fucked.

But that gives him, I want to say, a plus four to his natural armor bonus. So he has one of his buffs on, but I don't know what other ones he chose.

Alright, AC 20, attack one, attack two, hit, 11, 14 is 25 damage.

Miss Cleo, you're up.

Oh shit. Wait. Where'd the homie go?

Big teleport.

They top right away?

Jake teleported him away.

Oh, yep. Okay. I recall.

Killed. Killed.

He got bounced 32 miles in a random direction. To the west. We don't know.

Killed.

As I look to the wind

Actually, yeah, you don't know anything about what Jay could do.

We may as well have just fucking killed him instantly.

You're right. We don't know.

You know who he's capable of?

I'm Dr. Who in this motherfucker. You don't know what I am. You don't know what I can do.

You don't know who I am. He might be a god.

where she lives because you're a bad son

Ha

I'm going to, who needs to make this like save roles the most right now?

I don't know who goes for this.

Well, it's kind of now dispersed, maybe like

Microchee, you still need buffs?

No, I'd say buff yourself or someone more vulnerable at this point, at least without the giant guy that I...

I think I can butt myself. Well, that was the thing that I was going to do, which basically adds a good deal to all of your saves.

Miss Cleo who she was, anybody else. When she is alone, she buffs herself. Nobody else?

Ah.

Pat, I like to identify weaknesses in these creatures.

What sort of knowledge will you have me do?

You cast a spell into that?

All right, we're all knowledge planes or knowledge nature.

He's making an assessment.

Big assessment. Gage in the room.

Knowledge plans are knowledge nature, you said?

Mm-hmm. or planes

They are weak to fire.

Oh, they're weak to fire, guys. I go into the center of the room, or center of the pile, and cower.

or warmth, right?

if you've

We're not retreating. We're advancing towards future victory. That's just how it goes.

You know they take 50% more damage from fire.

Get shit on fire.

Haunt your torch. Wave it around. Be like a madman.

Have a torch.

Ah! Is that true?

Scared of fire, scarecrow.

That's my turn, though.

Rich?

I'm going to cast a healing or cure serious wounds on myself.

Go over this direction. And I believe I can still do one attack since I have haste on at the moment.

So I'll take a swing at this guy that was right next to Miss Cleo.

So 30 to hit.

Wait, this one's gotcha.

Yep. Or no, this one. Yeah, down on the bottom.

20 damage.

20 damage.

And that'll be that.

Alexander the Robot,

I'm trying to wonder why these giants have so much, but my body.

Reloading Becky.

dislocator on the one next to fish.

The guy on the bottom right hasn't been hit.

The guy on the bottom right has not been hit.

Two guys on the left have been hit.

Shit, it might not work. No, it'll work. Touch AC, baby. Go for bottom right. Becky one and done dislocating for a shot.

are coming up.

Roll it. I don't see anything.

There we go.

Which one is it?

It's the first shot.

DC 21

DC 21.

And then I got to add their bonus and it's will save.

Yeah, it's Will.

gone

Hi, 64 is good.

64 miles west.

I can't move. I can't reload and move.

Any other stuff on your turn?

I spit the cigar out of my mouth.

And I tell him it ain't shit.

Motherfucker.

boss giants in the snow trying to hide because they like

Nutty, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm going to cast Fireball and 20-foot rays and try to hit these two guys.

How do I get the radius thing down?

Oh, the radius?

Yeah, it's like a radius icon thing.

20 foot race? Oh, yeah, I can set one of those up for you.

Let's see, premium assets, radius.

And what's the radius?

40 feet.

feet

spread.

20 feet spread.

20 foot radius. 40 foot diameter.

Let's just go ahead and use this for now.

Can you make a 20-foot line real quick?

Light Blue gots it.

Alright, so that's diameter. Do again in the center. 20 feet, hold it for a second.

All right, that is to the outside of that ring.

That is the death portal. We have just opened it from the warp. All gaze into its everlasting devouring maw.

All hail the emperor.

You say all gays with them all?

I'll shoot it right there.

50% additional damage to whatever you roll.

I think we get like a reflex or something, don't we? Yeah, reflex. Ha. Ha.

They do.

26 damage reflex for half reflex for half I'm gonna add the bonus to these two separate rolls, natural one and a seven, fail, full damage, 26 plus 50% is plus 13, 26 plus 13 is 39 damage each.

Fishy, you're up.

If you can get behind him or get one flanked, you can do sneak attack damage. That's what your character's built around. I still don't have the thing up on Discord, so let's just hit this. This is just one of the little golems, right? This isn't a big floating jackass. Yeah, you can also attack twice full attack.

do the attack sneaky can't you gotta flank him oh yeah he's gotta be flat-footed so i can bite twice though right yeah

Oh, there's a second one here. Hold on.

One hit, one miss. 13 damage.

Do you also want to take a five foot step? Where am I? Right there. What am I hitting? This one. Yeah. He has taken 77 damage so far. Let's see.

This one has, yeah.

way to go guys yeah good on you

You have done 59 damage to this one.

Fucking level 10. We got this.

That's what I'm talking about. Right?

So I did find Donnie's spell list. It's up on the Facebook. It's just from, yeah, just tell him to keep scrolling until he gets to the 18th.

Zero damage for this one.

Because that shit is helpful.

Okay, you hang tight. It's their turn. This one attacks you, Fish. This one attacks you, Rich. This one attacks you, Jess.

She.

uh,

Two slams.

What's your armor class? fishy Uh-uh.

Well, it'll be plus four from whatever he had.

15th.

19...

I think you have to, yeah, the mutagens thing was going to be a specialty and it cranks up his AC and his toughness and shit.

It probably does have some additions in there. Hit.

12 damage plus...

18, 30 damage.

I don't see how many DR, but I don't know if it does.

I'm scared.

He does do fast healing on his turn. I don't remember how much.

It does.

Stay away from my...

Even in death. Dude, I'm coming back there, bro.

Occupy.

It's all good, Peasant. Go fuck you, dude. I'm coming there.

driver class.

This plus this plus 20. 24 games.

What's the damage?

24 damage, okay. Okay.

What's your honor, Class Rich?

It is currently 28.

28. All right. Miss.

And then... Hit. This plus 10. 16 damage.

Minus 10, so 6.

Do you have damage reduction, Tim?

Yeah, I just put it on.

That's turn. Jess, what are you doing?

I'm going to move first.

Did I accidentally do that as I was switching tabs? Real quick, roll. Real quick, this little spot, can I walk on it? Is it like stable?

Yeah, those are stairs.

Okay, so I'm going, well, first let me tell you where I'm trying to go. I want to go behind this guy, like right here, going that way over those stairs. So he's probably going to get an attack of opportunity.

As long as you don't leave a threatening area.

You're not leaving a threat, Sam. Yeah. You're fine.

Oh, cool. So here...

Yeah, he was like walking through his legs or something.

Oh yeah, giants. They have that coolness. And I'm going to cast a spell. I'm going to cast... It's not Fireball. It's called something else. Yeah, flaming spheres.

That's one of my favorite spells. Don't knock it. Flaming Spears is shit. Knock back float.

I remember being subject to its whims before.

Turn economy, man. We get a plus one on that. Thank God somebody summoned a monster. Nutty looking at you.

So yeah, I'm going to...

Does 3d6 damage. They get a reflex. Feely Bob.

They get a reflex dealy, Bob.

Fortitude for knockback as well.

They get shunted.

How big is the flaming sphere, Jeff?

The flaming sphere has a diameter of

Oh, it's a five foot radius, but it can move up to 30 feet around.

It's bigger.

Okay. So... you can move it to where you, where do you want it to summon it?

Um...

So I wanted to hang out with this guy because it has to stop at wherever I... It has to stop at the first foe that it does damage at for the first round. And it continues in the first round as long as I actively move it. So... Do.

And he gets a reflex save, my understanding. I can't remember. What do I roll to do spells? It's just my...

Depends on the spell.

I don't think I have to roll for it. I think I just roll damage. Long-range fireballs, okay?

Okay, it says I have it open right

Casting time, standard action, says, Do-do.

Yeah, it doesn't say anything about a role of any kind.

except for 3d6 points of fire damage to the creature.

No saving throw, no spell resistance, nothing.

They get a saving throw, reflex negates, and spell resistance, yes.

So it fails its save. What was the... I think so. What was the saving throw for? What was the DC?

It just says a reflex. Negates.

So it's going to be against the spell level plus your... plus the modifier that you use for your casting, plus 10.

That's right. That's right.

is intelligence 10 plus the spell level which is 2 so 15

Thanks for walking me through that. Let's have a moment.

It still fails its saving throw so it takes full was it 3d6? And then add 50% to that, whatever that is.

the other ways? Slash R.

11 plus...

16 damage.

I'll take it.

Miss Cleo, unless you have anything else you're doing.

No, that's it. Thank you.

Miss Cleo.

I have more stone skin. Does anyone else need stone skin?

I'm good, Cap.

Mind some.

Fred, you want one?

and to have some stone skin. Oh, I'm really far away from you. Ignore me.

Oh, shit. I'll get myself still on the skin.

I buff myself.

Rich, what have you done?

and the ceremony.

I'm gonna go for a full attack.

I get, since I've got... paste on, I get another attack at my highest So the second one I'm rolling, it'll just be the top. So 25, 26, and 23. 26 is a crit.

25, 26, 23. On which one?

The one on the bottom left.

Hit.

and the damage would be, let's see, eight, five, 37 total.

How's he looking? Took a fireball and a bunch of random dings.

You guys have assigned 96 points of damage to it.

There's...

Deal. then I guess proceed.

Yes, sir. Alexander.

That one has that and then

That one's taking the fireball to the juggler here.

These two took the fireball. This has got the ball of fire going. Everybody's kind of getting whittled down equally.

Alright, so the flank don't happen. I'm going to move back here.

And I'm going to hit

I mean, that's tough. Yeah.

What if that guy comes back? You may want to save one.

No, I can't. I don't have it. I'm hitting this guy right here.

him with last shot with Becky.

First dislocator shot.

24 touch AC.

Roll it. DC 21.

Which one? Which one?

One friend, Spectre Gadget.

Failure.

Fuck out of here. Roll it, Pat.

This one?

Yep, in front of Spectre.

Teleports away.

81 miles away.

Uh-oh.

What's 85 miles to the north?

That's what you were trying to do, right?

Actually, give me a sec.

You dislocated it, right?

Yeah, but I'm checking to see if I can reroll your roll to the north.

Nope, can't. Go ahead. Continue as normal.

Nare, Molina.

I'll cast Fireball and hit these two now.

29, what's the reflexive?

10 plus my Cashew level plus Spell Over, right?

Not caster level, 10 plus your ability modifier plus the spell level.

So 19, 2021, 22.

22. Hit and... Or at least miss. Fails a save. And...

Fails the save. They don't have good reflex saves. They take full damage, 29 plus 15.

It's 44 points of damage they take.

You've assigned 121 points to this guy.

And you have assigned 16 plus...

44 you've assigned 60 points now to this guy

Doc Brown does a... moves around the back of this guy without changing his threat zone and does a sneaky bite.

because Chris is off doing something right now.

Hey, stop that kid.

No, that prefers to just chill.

Okay, so he does sneaky bite.

Remember, I guess minus two AC.

Thanks, buddy.

Hit, 68 points of damage.

Assigned to this guy has been 189 total points of damage, and he is dead.

Ozon roll reflex to dodge the falling giant.

This guy turns around and attacks you, Jess.

Oh, shit.

Oh shit, what's your life at?

40 something. I'm fine. Okay.

What's your alignment?

My alignment is neutral good.

This motherfucker uses smite good on your ass.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

He's got smart good.

What do I do?

My God.

What do I do? What do I roll? How do I fight back? Reflex save?

Basically, once per day, this motherfucker can call out to dark powers to crush the forces of good. So the unholy basically Unholy Rock smashes your ass. So let's go. It's only one of the attacks, not the other ones.

Reflex save?

43.

No, it's just a regular attack. He just gets a bonus to it. So this plus his normal bonus plus the extra bonus. What's your armor class?

17.

So hit and then this one does not get the special bonus.

You said 17? hit. So this plus...

plus his special bonus. And then this plus regular bonus means you take 33 points of damage.

And it's your turn.

Shit, I'm reeling. I'm putting in negative amounts of hit points real fast and definitely maintaining my fireball on his ass after I move back a bit. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I have 10 hit points left.

How many hip things do you have?

So you withdraw backwards?

Yeah, I'm definitely scooting. I'm getting out of here.

Difficulties.

All right. That was a withdrawal, right?

Okay, there we go. Yeah, withdrawing, and I'd like to, like, have this in front of him hurting him, like, between us, but also on his ass, you know what I mean?

Hit him again with it.

Yeah.

Can you just move that around? Like for each round, you get to move it, right?

And that was 15.

Yeah, for five rounds for up to my caster level.

3D6.

10 damage plus 5 is 15 because of the 50% fire damage. What was the saving throw? 17?

I was 15.

It makes it save.

So 15 for half damage is 7 damage.

Roll to the side.

Are these stairs down? How do I get down?

Yeah, there's stairs.

Water starts? Alright. Let me see what my distance is here.

What's this arrow look like over here?

Right in here is a little corridor. It's got blocks that are about stacked 10 feet tall. And it's just a little kind of area of... Yeah.

These are all 10 feet tall. Like, how do I...

Is this like a building of some sort? What is...

You can see over it from up here because this is like 30 feet. and the stairs go down. But once you're down here, these are 10 foot tall walls.

And run down the stairs and go over here.

All right. I will... Cast another, cure serious wounds

And then...

Come over here. Take one swing.

And that would be all my turn. So

All right, roll it.

32, 22 to confirm the crit.

That is confirmed.

22 damage.

Is that after all of your...

And that'll be...

That's after everything?

Yeah.

For both attacks?

Oh, I only took one attack, because I also cast a spell this turn, and taste only gives me so much.

Re-re-reload as a move action.

the flaming ma

What are you firing at it?

Two bullets.

What's the damage? What's the role? What's the attack?

19. That's probably a natural one. Missed.

Roll that natural one again to confirm critical miss.

Yes.

You got a really bad headache.

Technically, it's worse than that.

Embolism.

What's that with your bonus?

To attack?

I have my highest base attack modifier or my strength modifier?

At your highest base attack plus your strength.

Dude, that's 25, 26.

then that is still just a regular miss.

Yeah, then crits time five, baby.

So what's the total damage?

Dude, shit.

164.

the second two hit.

the second two do not hit only the, only the first one.

I can only reload two shots.

Oh.

So first one miss, the attack two hits. So 83.

83 damage.

Yes?

You guys have assigned 172 damage points to this guy. And it goes down. Rich, roll my reflex save so he doesn't crush you.

I can't believe it.

Yeah. Let's do this.

Doesn't crush you.

All right, guys, you're out of combat. It's fucking blizzardy ass fucking mountain. Good job taking out the big bad evil guy during the first attack of the fight.

Yeah, thank you, Jake.

That was really important to do.

Uh,

I'm a cast motherfucking fly.

That's not it.

Go investigate.

That's a 22 on my hardness against you getting my own sonic focus. I mean, you get you basically I mean, you basically roll a D 100 or my body starts to crack.

They're out of combat.

those dudes We're in a lot of more.

Wait, what?

I expended my Sonic focus so much and I can't get it back. I had to roll a D, I think 25 to get it. So...

My body's not meant for my power.

bullshit or worse.

So, no, it's an Android thing.

So Pat gets to pick what parts of my body crack.

I was talking about my healing roles. Bullshit. 2d8, roll 7. Fuck.

That big bad evil guy is like 35 miles west going, fuck. Where the fuck am I? Moonwalking his ass back.

I guess I just start walking through the bad thing. Alright. You can go downstairs. This is all 10 feet tall walls. Do you want to climb them?

You guys are out of turnovers, so whatever you want to do.

keep going around.

And I have not full life.

What's this chest over here?

Yeah, let's go investigate that.

You go over to it.

Yeah, I go open up all the chests and I take all the valuables and put them in my bag before everyone else.

Great. How do you get over the wall?

I fly over there. It's just...

I fly there.

Do you have a method of flying?

Yeah, I have my floaty disk. Oh, it's only three. Yeah, my floaty disk is three-peed high. Can I just climb the rest?

Yeah, you can climb a seven-foot wall. Your character's probably tall enough. You climb, you're on top. You get over there. It takes you some time. Rich gets there first.

Now, I'd like to check this motherfucker for traps real quick using my, like, nifty gloves.

But I was way ahead of him in terms of doing it.

While he does that, I'm going to open it and take the stuff that's valuable inside.

So...

I, okay, I ghosted up.

To back here.

No, because you guys want to do a rush for Louie and doing this shit. I could telepathically link with everybody with 100 feet, so I know what they're thinking.

I dimension door to this one right here.

Can't we just trust each other? What happened to trust each other? Same team. Same team.

Ha.

Like these things. Yeah. Like, come on, dog.

Which chest gets opened first?

Like, these might be trapped and cursed.

Let's do this one that was unopened.

I'm going to check this one.

with the showroom.

Okay.

Motherfucker didn't open it. I was in front of it, checking the locks.

of the second thing now. And it's incredible.

Okay, Rich, you open that one. Or no, you're checking it.

Way to go, guys. Fuck yeah, dude. See, it wasn't a big problem. We almost died. But you know what? We had it. Level 10s, baby. That's what I'm talking about. Dick in the dirt.

Very good. Very good job, everybody. Just so you know, everyone at the end of this session will level up. You haven't leveled up yet, but that was fucking dope.

Okay, you see inside that chest, Rich, with your glove of gloves, a pile of gems and gold and a sack inside of it, like a burlap sack. Ozan, you open the chest while he's looking in and see the same things.

I grabbed the chance.

You grab the gems. It is about 10,000 gold pieces worth of gems.

10,000 gold pieces, that sounds like a lot.

So go ahead and write down 10,000 gold pieces worth of gems. Rich, there's a burlap sack left inside the bag.

Is it magical?

Do you have magical sight?

I detect magic.

You grabbed a sack. Great. And

I don't detect magic anymore. I never did.

what's in the stuff.

I investigate the item for a turn to see what it is. Take a few turns checking it out.

It is about... It's about four feet long, and it feels like there's something like with a, like you feel a handle in it. Like it might be like a weapon or a sword. It's kind of got that kind of vibe to it.

Okay.

I'll check it out. What is it?

Inside of it is an umbrella.

Nice.

is this umbrella magical.

Yeah, it's magical.

Oh, man. Oh, shit, are you about to be Mary Poppins? Tell me the deal, do it. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and use that item identification thing. What is this sweet-ass umbrella?

It's an umbrella of curses.

Okay, we'll get back to that. Who is opening any other chests?

Me and Nutty, I look at Nutty as I'm opening my chest, and we do the nuclear launch codes. We both nod and open them at the same time.

Air the box.

Okay.

I see who gets blown up. One, two...

do the nod synchronized nods

Engage.

Okay, you guys open them up. And similarly, there is a pile of gems and a sack next to each pile of gems. The sacks do not look like they're holding similar items. One's a very small sack, the other's a larger sack.

Gems?

The fuck are gems? What are these rocks? I have no use for them. I'll take them. I'll take them. I opened the sack. Yeah, what's in the sack, Pat?

What's in my book? Oh, yeah, the sack.

Inside the sack...

You see Nutty's got a book inside his sack. Do you open up your sack, Jake?

Every day.

Yeah, baby.

And inside your sack, Jake, there is a ring.

Ooh.

Do you guys want me to identify those for you before you put them on?

upon a book, Rich. Crazy.

Yeah, man. I mean, shit. Dude, burn this book.

I don't know, I've still got a cursed book in one of my little pouches there, so... Be careful of some of the books.

I will burn a scar. No one's going to miss a scarlet letter. Nobody. It's a horrible book, dude. Burn that one. I don't give a shit. Bad fiction.

Check.

Does it look like a spell book, Pep?

It looks like a plain leather bound book. Do you open it?

No, of course I thought.

like ideate or whatever or spellcraft it.

Do you spellcraft it? Do you open it? Do you read it?

I spoke crafted.

kiss it. I kiss it. I kiss the book.

What are you looking for? Are you looking to see if it's magical?

Kiss the book. Oh well.

It is magical.

Do you have the ability to see what kind of magic it is?

Knowledge Arcana.

Yeah, I think you can do Dwomer like that. Can you do Dwomer from Knowledge Arcana? I don't know.

What do you mean by Dwarmer?

Nope.

You can't tell what kind of magic it is with just that.

What do you mean?

I don't believe that you can detect magic or sense the kind of magic that's coming off of something with Knowledge Arcana.

I walk up to Nuddy and I put my robotic hand on the book and I roll knowledge psionics.

It is not a psionic book. But you also don't know because it's just knowledge psionics doesn't let you detect psionics.

You know, you can literally just hand it to me for like three turns and I'll give it back and I can identify it for you.

What's the skill you used to...

You sure?

What's the skill you use to identify? I thought it was Knowledge Arcana.

I'm just making sure there's no tionic energy on that book. You never know.

Isn't it detect magic?

But there's a skill that you used to identify items. Was it Knowledge Arcana or Spellcraft?

For me, it's Spellcraft, but he's... For normal, it would be Knowledge, I think.

I believe it's now objectified.

I don't know.

Hellcraft DC 15 plus the items caster level. to identify.

identify it.

I would like to identify it.

Spellcraft DC 15 plus 10.

25.

I did not make it.

Okay, you don't know what it is.

I still put it in my bag.

How much gems?

10,000 gold worth of gems.

All right.

Nadi, would you like me to identify it for you?

What's in my pocket?

Yeah, but I'll wait until everyone else does their thing.

Inside your box, Gus, is similar a 10,000 gold worth of gems and a burlap sack that's about one foot long.

I definitely... I'm going to use detect magic on my sack.

It is magic.

Detect Magic, if I focus for a little while, it'll tell me if it's like what kind and shit, right?

I believe so, yes.

I'd like to do that in a

transmutation

Okay, I'm going to take it out of the sack or look in the sack. I'm not touching it yet.

It is a dagger in a leather scabbard.

put the whole sack in my bag of holding. I'm afraid to touch it right now, but yeah, I definitely take it. And the 10K, you said? 10,000 gold?

Yeah. And when you detect magic, it's like really bright. It's very powerful magic coming out of this thing.

want to like keep looking at it but I need to look into how detect works beyond that which I'm almost to that page yeah

And while this is all going on, I'm going to go down to this chest and pop it open and snag its contents.

I'm taking this sword.

I don't know what it does. It's heavy and it's bright as shit. I'm wielding it.

I don't know.

All right, Nutty. Nutty, you take the sword.

I would like to cast another... when we have a chance.

Okay, so,

to Jess, or not Jess, Rich, you pop

kits.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me! Sorry, my friend.

Sounds good. You pop yours open. rich and you see a similar gems and a burlap sack smaller sack and then And then Nutty...

Your sword... turns into a mimic and attacks the shit out of you.

Oh, my God.

I put it back.

Shit, do I notice this?

And it gets a fucking surprise round.

I'm nearish.

And I don't know if anyone knows there's a fucking blizzard going on.

Oh, shit.

Let you scream.

yeah. As much as the drill can.

Tell us.

Telepathic gift, man.

Well, shit.

Anything of intelligence or one or higher.

And this mimic looks like it's composed of aborted human-like limbs and melting faces crashing one over another like an endless wave of corpses.

Sound like the Mimics I'm used to.

It is also bioluminescent, which is cool. Sometimes they are, apparently. Yeah, this particular one.

Yeah, it's pretty sweet. It also exudes a thick slime that acts as a powerful adhesive.

Go on.

It attacks you, and if it hits you, it will adhere to you.

Uh...

Slam. What's your AC?

Team, do I still have this placement on?

You do still have displacement on. This has only been a few rounds. Well, it depends. How long does your displacement last?

10 rounds.

You still have it on. Probably have two rounds left because you guys have been doing some meandering about and each round is only six seconds.

And good thing we were fucking on it for the rush, apparently.

20 and man, he rolls like shit. Miss.

All right, Nuddy, it's your turn, and anyone else may roll initiative to join the queue.

Get out of there.

Sort of like, fight it.

Fight the mimic, gain its courage.

Is that how that works? I just feel like I'll get sticky.

It's my turn, though.

It is, yeah, it's your turn.

I use my spell-like ability to go invisible.

So I got greater visibility, and I can turn off whatever I want.

Jake, what are you doing?

sensing where the fuck that mimic was and what it was feeling.

What's my perception?

I have a telepathic gift.

McNady?

of my psychic potential, and I opened up telepathic pathways in my mind, allowing me to reach out and connect with the minds of others. I gave it 200 feet to any local player or whatever with any creature, regardless of the language, so long as they have an intelligence of 1 or higher. The range of my telepathy increases 10 feet by every 2 soul knight levels after that.

So you grant them telepathy too?

So you can communicate one way or two ways?

one way, but with any creature.

So how do you know that Nutty's suffering right now?

Because he's within 40 feet of

So he just, he can't send you a message.

No, he can't, but I can sense him.

You can telepathically reach out and connect to the minds of others. Do you have to choose to do that or does it always happen?

It's always happening. As long as I maintain my sonic focus.

You never told me you're doing this. You don't have...

How do you know that Nuddy's being attacked in the middle of a blizzard? I want a perception check because he's 60 feet away grabbing a sword in the middle of a blizzard and 60 mile an hour wins. You just don't know.

Oh, I thought he was right next to me. No, I thought he was right next to me in the pod. My bad. I bet. No. Yeah, I just don't know. Well, then I have no idea.

You just don't know.

But now that he can't communicate telepathically,

No, that shit ended miles. That ended turns ago.

That's, I think I get that for four hours.

Well, you're on your own, Cap. Scream.

I was totally about to detect fiendish presence just for, like, security reasons, because we're in bad territory. Can I roll that? And would it...

I reload my weapon and tie my shoes, bro.

Careful, Jake. That's how you shoot yourself.

That is. What am I, a child? In my daddy's gun closet? No, I'm fine.

Just load my gun. Oh, shit, look at that. My shoe's untied.

I was having trouble rolling my initiative earlier, but if I'm aware, I'd like to help.

I saw it. It's 21.

I mean, unless did you scream?

Yeah, I scram.

Oh, okay. Then if nice scream you guys hear I just

Psychically, just physically. I used hand gestures also. I think I let out a scent, a little bit of urine.

And you're kind of down in the pit.

Rich, what are you doing?

assuming I hear him with a 42.

Oh wait, no, I looked at your perception of initiative. It is not your turn. It is actually Jess's turn. Jess, what are you doing?

since I know about it, I'm going to fly over there with my badass bat cape.

like the Batman that I am. I can't get rid of this fucking fireball

So...

It's still there. It's just rolling around. It's heating the place up.

I'm going to...

You said it's made of bodies and it looks all oozy and gooey. I'm not gonna grapple it. I'm not grappling that shit. I'm gonna cast a spell. Some kind.

Let's see here. Let's do... Thunderstomp. Yeah, let's do... Oh, shit, I didn't mean to do that. Oops. It's gonna trip you too, Nutty, but yeah, it's...

What? No, I wasn't paying attention.

I think I'm going to cast Thunderstomp. You know what, though? I feel less than prepared. Skip me.

It is Ozone's turn.

Did I hear his yelping?

Sounds like a girlish scream.

I mean, I'm a girl, so, you know.

So scream manly.

It sounded manly, actually.

Yeah, exactly. Don't be a bitch.

Don't scream rape. Scream fire or NFT. I'm pretty sure that gets it done.

Two million dollars?

Shit, I'd be like, wait, what? Fuck it.

Okay, I give a nutty and emotional push. Oh, fuck, I should have done that as an... Damn it.

I give you an emotional push, bro.

Like a pushback off a cliff or something?

No.

Yeah, Ozone's trying to get you pregnant now, Nutty.

Damn, I could have saved you. I didn't realize it was an immediate action. Well... Can't help you now.

I'm not dead yet.

No, man. Goodbye.

You can still have plenty of time for saving.

Later, Natty.

I can't even get there. Like I would need to get on top of this fucking wall and walk around.

How the fuck did you get to that chest in the first place, Ozan? Trying to tell me you can't get over here.

I climbed. It took me a long time. Pat, I do the same climbing maneuver. I guess, can I just climb on top of here and walk along the ledge with my...

So you get on your tensor sliding disc and then you float three feet up and then you climb onto the top and that's pretty much your turn and you walk 30 feet as well.

Okay, that's term.

There's a beautiful woman in distress, alright? You get over here.

What are you doing?

Um...

Dude, no one cares about the damsels anymore, Nutty. I feel you.

So how many movement would it take, or how many movement can I do in a turn if I'm not taking any other actions?

$10,000 with gems on me.

30 times 4, 120.

I'm flying, so I'm going to go...

It's four times whatever your move is.

Okay, I'm just going to go over here still up above because he's invisible and I'm just observing and I don't know what the fuck else is going on over here yet. So that'd be true.

It's his turn.

Is that what the mimic sounds like?

That sounds like

I'll move to the next one.

Okay, it tries to grapple you, Nutty.

What's your CMD?

Even though I'm still invisible?

Let's see...

It's lashing and strikes out at opponents, crushes its foes, forever experience, multiple aborted human-like limbs. Yeah, it's just grabbing out in space where you were. You get a bonus since you're invisible.

15 is my AC, or CMD.

15 CMD. Add plus four since you're invisible.

What? Okay.

It's only 18.

And we've got, oh, also, no, he's got blindsight. So, no, you don't get a bonus from that.

And be.

All right, this plus 20, he pretty much grabs you.

to the tech, right? So he still has to roll the BIS chance.

It's just a grab...

Yeah, I know, but there's like five figures of me, so he has to figure out which one to grab.

It's just...

Because of the displacement.

I thought mirror image is not. There's five of you? Is it mirror image or is it displacement?

It looks like there's five of me.

I believe displacement just makes me blurry.

concealment check.

It gives me 50% concealment chance.

I want to say it's a 50% concealment. But also, if he has blind sense, I don't know.

Nutty, mirror image is five. Concealment is a percentage chance. If it's greater, I think it's 50%. But other than that, I think it's 33%.

So it's definitely way better.

Displacement gives you 50% miss chance as if you had total concealment. Total concealment if you have line of sight, you can't attack, face will attack.

Concealment isn't always effective. Characters with low light vision can see clarity for greater distance. Although invisibility provides total concealment, sight of the opponents may still make perception checks. He's got blindsight. It doesn't affect him.

your first He's got tons of fingers and hands, though. He grabs you.

Ew. Ew.

And in grabbing you, he deals 1d12 plus 10 points of damage as a crush with a successful grapple check.

So this plus...

13 points of damage.

Okay. If you're stuck, a successful DC 25 strength check. Let's see. Mimic executes a fixed line of attacks. Holding fast, any creatures are able to touch it. Adhesive covered mimic automatically grapples any creature that hits with a slam attack. Opponents grapple cannot get free with while the mimic is alive without removing the adhesive first. Okay. Mamakul can dissolve the adhesive at will. Substance breaks down five rounds after the creature dies. Save DC to strength based. 25 DC strength check to pry out of the adhesive.

or something that can remove adhesive like solvents.

And turn.

What are you doing? Nutty.

Drap by invisibility.

cast dimension door

to the treasure chest.

Hell yeah, dude. Give me the loot.

You're a bad man.

You mentioned door. You... Magically rip away from the adhesive.

Jake, what are you doing?

Go stepping back. 50 feet directly from where it was.

Bessie's already loaded. And then going... Right here. I'm going to do a perception check just in case, you know, God can't hear anything.

Okay, you do perception. What are you looking for?

nothing. Just, yeah, just do my overall perceptions. Just being like, hey, there's a ball of fire. I'm looting.

I am just fulfilling my own needs.

And then landing right there without the wiser. Unless I hear something.

I mean, I do tell you as I'm next to you that there is a mimic over there.

I have to line up the shot for the hot mimic.

Right.

No displacement, but,

Full round of Becky.

Attack 3 and 4 don't hit. Attack 3 and 4 don't matter because I moved

Attack three and four do not matter because I moved, I ghosted.

So the.

17 plus 17 would be 34.

If those 26 on touch AC 27 on touch AC.

How much damage is it?

Okay, touch, hit. What's damage?

34.

And it is you, Jess.

From above him, I think I'm going to cast good old Grease. I'm going to try to hopefully have him fall off that narrow ledge. Slick and shit.

You cast Greece.

Mm-hmm. Yes. Which...

Is that the same as Ice Slick?

Kind of, let me read it.

It has a 10-foot radius, a successful reflex save or fall,

actually do that thing that I've been accidentally doing over

So what's the DC or slip?

The DC... Oh, shit. Would be 10 plus...

10 plus fuck.

I think it's like a level one spell. It's like super low. Grease.

It's a level one spell, so it would be 10 plus one.