Transcript

Okay, so who didn't roll for their character's magic items?

Thousand?

Alright, Jess, can you roll me 1D1635?

1D 1635.

One, two, three.

Yep, 1,630.

1D 1,600...

35.

Roll high. Roll Tide.

Oh, 627. All right.

Let's do it. Oh, I put the wrong number in. I put 635, not 1635.

You better reroll that.

Don't roll lower now.

Roll low, dude. Get a mask that has you... Yeah, dude. Roll low.

1303.

That might be the highest roll we had.

I think so.

Alright, Jess, you have an ion stone that floats around your head that grants you plus two to constitution.

Yeah, you're better off with a nat one for sure.

Are there any...

or like restrictions on that plus two to constitution?

It's enhancement bonus, so it doesn't stack with other enhancement bonuses. That's it. Other than that, it's just always there for as long as the stone's floating above your head. If you take the stone and you remove it from the top of your head, like, and put it in your pocket for whatever reason, social reasons or whatever, you lose the bonus. It has to be floating above your head.

You always have this stone that's like circling, orbiting your dome.

Is it pink?

It's the black one.

All right, so do you want to roll for that magic item, or do you want to make your character shoot first and then see how to place the right again?

working on caricature sheet right now, so I will probably do that first.

Well, I've got the sheet open now, so I'll just go ahead and roll a D1635.

I'll roll it for you.

272, I think.

You got 272? You sure did. All right.

You got like a neck thing you wear. It gives you a plus two bonus on all saving throws made to recover from a continuing effect like poison, like ongoing poison damage or daily saving throws against disease or lingering damage. Anything that requires you to roll a saving throw on a lingering effect you get plus two as long as you wear this throat thing

called the Aegis of Recovery.

1144

We got 1144.

One ring to rule everyone except you. All right, so scabbard of keen edges. It can shrink or enlarge to accommodate any knife, dagger, or sword, and three times per day on command, it casts keen edge on any plate placed within it.

The scabbard of keen edges.

As long as keen is applicable.

I'm not just keen does not help their spells crit. You know what I'm saying?

I'm going to keep that up.

I'm by the fireplace.

I'm having a drink at the bar because my whole clan was just destroyed and there's nothing... you know,

Wait, are we still invited to that homie's party?

Yeah, you totally are still invited to that dude's party.

but we're just like in the town tavern right now.

Yeah. So you are, you're in this, like, the closest tavern to this, to, like, to you right now, and you're pretty close to that dude's house, kind of, but it's all still kind of a walk.

When is the party? Is it tonight?

Party's tomorrow night.

Is anyone a weird race?

Yeah, there's like...

Whoa, holy shit. Yeah. Whoa.

Yeah. What's the dominant race here?

Cis white gendered goblins.

Yeah.

White goblins?

White Doblins? How exotic.

Yeah, they're all albinos. And you know what? People fucking hate them for it.

But yeah, so it doesn't look like it on the picture, but it's snowing here outside the bar. So has everyone got cold weather here?

No.

I'm going to assume you do. If not, they sell it at the bar. As you're getting closer and closer to this place, this guy's house, it's getting colder and colder. He lives up in the mountains.

Do sleeves and many garments cover that, or is it an illusion? I never... Figure that out.

That's an illusion, buddy.

Good call. I'm not sure.

I think it's an illusion, but I could be wrong.

does not.

Just makes everyone think I'm warm.

It makes you think you're warm as you slowly die of hypothermia.

You look good, dude.

sweet.

Is there a man named Todd here?

That's me.

You hear?

Sir, do you know a man named Jeremy?

Jeremy, do I not? Do I know what I'm named Jeremy?

Yes, Jeremy whited.

He's an albino goblin. Do you know him?

Can't say that I do.

Like 15 albino goblins, like look up from the bar.

again.

Damn.

So the bartender is running a special tonight. They've got some hot stew. The stew looks to be made. It's got some weird smell coming off of it. I mean, this is definitely like a goblin bar. And you're picking up some scents that... Like, they might not be cooking meat that they're supposed to be cooking, if that makes any sense. Like, you're the only humans in the bar. And...

Are they cooking humans? Is that what you're trying to tell me? Like,

Roll me a sense, human.

since meat.

but only perception.

I'll have the soup du jour.

Aren't we all?

No, not even. Soup doesn't smell like human at all. You're good.

That's covered up with onions.

Garçon, I'll have the soup du jour.

Bartender charges you one copper piece there, Donnie.

Perfect.

I hope you enjoy it.

copper piece.

I would like to go to the bartender and slam my fist on the bar and say, I've been here for what feels like days. And I have something itching and crawling at the back of my skin. And I don't know if it's making voices, but...

Do you say that out loud to the soccer bugger? Oh, God.

Something bad's going to happen. And I need a room or a place to just make sure that nothing bad does happen.

Excuse me?

Yeah. I don't really know what you said there. You can have a room if you want a room. It'll just cost you a silver piece.

I can't count the money. All I see is black and gray. Just take what you can get, but I throw three random gold pieces. Three gold. I'll just say I throw three gold on the counter. And then I immediately shuffle up into the room, ping-ponging my way, as it were.

Oh, damn. All right. He grabs the gold off the counter, eyes you suspiciously, looks at you going up there, lets you do whatever the fuck you want because you just paid him a shit ton of money to stay there.

Can I take advantage of the situation?

as always.

Always.

by looking sharply at the bartender and saying that He paid for me too, and I start walking upstairs.

He nods.

Does anyone else jump on this bandwagon if they hear it? Rolling Perception, if you hear it.

Todd, you're enjoying your stew, what you do hear him say that. It's really fucking good stew. You've never tasted meat like this before.

Oh, nice. I just throw my hands up and kind of point at myself also. Kind of gesture at Jake.

You know, like, hey, me also, but you don't. stew in my mouth.

I'm over here just slurping that stew obnoxiously loud.

Yeah. Nutty man. Yeah. You let's do so good. There's like, what looks to, it appears to be like a thumb in the bottom of the bowl. Maybe it's a potato.

Maybe.

Is that where all the good flavor is going from?

Maybe.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's the queen bean.

I nibble on it a little bit.

delightful.

As I get to the top of the stairs, I immediately shut the door. I don't lock that shit. I'm just fucking... I just want to shut my own private space, and then I go and smash my face, and hopefully... God damn it.

I just peered through the window. What's going on here?

And then I smash my face into the nearest bed or cot to try to stop the voices in my head.

All right. Boom. You hit the cot. You've got some voices in your head. Cool. The dreams aren't good.

I listened to

I'm listening to his room.

Nevermore.

Can I get the room next to it?

Can I hear what he's doing? What's he doing? Is he talking to yourself?

Yeah, a little.

What do you think?

Come on. Just keep it quiet. Just keep it quiet. That's all I want. Just tone it down. Just a little bit. Just come on, man. It's so cold out there. Just come on.

is a lunatic.

You got it. You got this.

I'm done there.

at the bar.

I'm at the fire.

All right, so you're...

You're down there, and then the door opens in the front, and snow flurries, roll into the bar, and the whole vibe kind of changes in here, and you get, like, roll me a will save. Who's over downstairs?

That's a plus one if it's fear.

That's a 20.

Yeah, it is a pure save. So that's 10. You fail your save. Not everyone else succeeds their save. And...

You fail your save. Is that an 18 total, Rich?

On a 20 or higher, you succeed your will save. And there's just this... It's a slight... A slight tickling on the back of your neck that you feel. It's not like fear. It's just like... It's an aura of unsettling. You just feel unsettled if you didn't roll a 20 or above.

Can't remember.

And there's a

too. I don't... My thing got cleared some Sheep back together, so baby. Do we all feel tingling or just him?

The tingle.

Richard and Nuttie feel tingling.

They feel unsettled, and you feel, if you succeeded in your will save, you feel that there's, like, something, you feel like you resisted something, even though you don't feel unsettled.

So you said the door blew open? Nothing came in the door? Just...

Like you get the door blew open.

How does the rest of

Yeah, nothing came in the door. The door blew open and snow floors came in.

Oh shit, nothing came in?

No.

Did anyone look at the

We're only perception, and there's sounds that you hear a carriage coming up the driveway.

Did you say role perception?

Yeah.

Nutty, there's someone is you see footsteps in the flurries for a second inside before the door gets closed. And you're pretty sure there's someone who's invisible in the bar.

doing unsettling things.

With the 17 jest, you hear outside the stable boy talking to someone.

Okay.

I'm going to get up and, casually start meandering toward the door.

I'm going to

All right, the door's since been closed by bar staff and some albino goblins. It blew open. They went over there within, like, less than a minute to close it.

I move over to this corner.

There's also a door here to the stable.

I try and look for anything that's moving. with no one near it. Come back to the wall. Keep a lookout.

There's a carriage outside.

Wait, do you open the door at all?

No, I'm just trying to look for anything that shifts where a visible guy has pushed it or something like that.

looking for the invisible man that's right okay but cool Tight. Post it up. Looking for that tune.

I swear to god, I was a divisible man. He had one arm. He killed my wife.

Barkeep, do you guys sell any cold weather clothing?

He pulls out goblin-sized clothing. What size are you, Donnie?

medium

It's all small, dude. It's all small ass clothes.

Every fucking one of them.

He has a couple of mediums, but the hair full of stab wounds and got blood all over him.

Ha. I got you a nice jacket. I already been stabbed twice.

No, I'm okay. Thank you, though.

It's mighty cold out there. Can I interest you in this throat warmer? There's a fucking stab wound right through the throat and there's like blood all over the damn thing.

Half off.

What is this? Like a scarf?

It's a course.

Yeah, sure, I'll take that.

So let me draw a shape real quick. Over here. Thin lines. Okay. So carriage pulls up.

Stable boys outside, you just hear your voices and then the doors open up again and you have two individuals in long scarlet red robes who enter the bar and It looks to be a man and a younger man. The man's wearing luxurious robes, and the younger man's just wearing a more modest version of it. It's very expensive and very nice cold-weather gear. These guys seem like they're dialed in for winter traveling. They're both human, humanoid, and not goblin. And they go up to the bartender and put money on the table and seem to be negotiating rooms.

I want to immediately ping pong ball out my room and just ask for the latrine. Does anybody have a shitter in here? I need to take a fucking wicked mess.

Do you yell that from the stairs?

I want to poop in silence. Yeah.

there's a little goblin like dude who's in charge of cleaning the mucking out the fucking buckets cleaning out that shit and he runs up there and gives you a hand

who was it

I hold his hand and he walks me.

I'm going to keep hiding outside and talk to the stable boy, I think. I'm going to go buy one of those winter gear outfits.

What size are you there, Rich?

Medium.

They're too small. They're all goblin-sized.

Okay, from the other guys you suggested.

You approach the two people that are at the bar negotiating rooms.

You know what? Fuck this. Never mind. I've got a heat stone. Screw this.

Don't cast this hot rock there, Jake. You can't cast that stone. It's literally the only thing keeping you alive.

No, man.

Keep it in my pocket.

All right, the two individuals have negotiated their room. They walk upstairs, and everyone who rolled below a 20 still has a slightly unsettled feeling, and it gets a little worse when they were in the room, and then it gets less worse as they break eye contact back up the stairs.

I don't notice anything shifted following him maybe.

The 50.

You don't see anything following them. Nothing seems out of the ordinary.

Damn, this guy's good. But I'm on to him.

I rolled a one being led by a goblin in their presence.

Yeah, the goblin takes you to the basement.

Sorry, I'm following him.

The goblin takes you to a special room that the goblin has created full of special things, Jake, with that natural one who's got a little eye for you.

from afar, sneakily.

That's fine. I like that. I like being attentive.

It's like a little sex dungeon with some whips and chains and logs. And he's got like a rack and table. And there's a little, yeah, all sorts of fun stuff in this little sex goblin dungeon under the bar.

And he hands you a drink and tells you to drink up.

It's kind of neat how a goblin, he's so short that he has to reach up to grab your ass.

I mean, if it's anything me and Goblin share, it's we measure back to front to back to front.

So, Ozan, you see him and the goblin enter the sex room.

see the sex room is a sex room when it like the door opens like I know it's the sex room

Yeah, you see, like, because he opened the door and you see, like, all sorts of sex room stuff.

All right, can I inconspicuously hang out there?

How do you...

Like I'm waiting. Like I'm waiting for the bathroom, except I'm waiting for a sex room.

You walk up, you're like, hey, what's going on? I'm just going to chill out here. Or you sneak in.

I'm just trying to be not a script, but watching the door. and listening.

You can nondescriptly watch the door from the hall.

Okay, that's what I do. Yeah, I just, you know, just keeping an eye on things. Wondering what's going on. Yeah, that's it.

All right, does anyone do anything before they go to sleep tonight? Besides Jake, who I think I know what he's doing.

And then I talked to the stable boy.

Stable was out there mucking the stables. He's taking the carriage and he's got it. Like the horses have been removed from the carriage. They're being brought into the barn. He's kind of doing this thing. He looks over at you a little scared because you startle him. He's like, do you speak goblin?

no.

I do.

He doesn't speak common. He just is speaking in a weird language, too. He's not the most educated.

I'll try under comment.

Yeah, he speaks a little undercommon. So he's like, my undercommon fucking sucks. But it seems like it's okay, because you can totally understand him.

Okay. I say tough night.

fucking snowing. It's always a fucking tough night. It seems a little aggressive.

I bet. Are these tough customers? I ask.

I've never seen these two before.

Can I see inside the carriage from where we're talking?

you can see that the carriage has its shades drawn over the. Over the windows.

or shades its curtains

It's a really pretty carriage. I've never seen such a pretty carriage before.

Oh, it's fucking gorgeous, dude.

Do you mind if I look inside?

Like super gorgeous. He goes, do what you want. He gets the horses inside and leaves.

Okay, I look inside.

Alright, the door is locked.

Okay.

Excellent.

I'm just realizing I don't think I bought a single lockpick whatsoever. I think I forgot that. But I'm going to...

see about it not being locked anymore.

We're only perception.

There's a...

There's a what?

underneath

underneath the carriage and whoever's playing that game mute their microphone underneath the carriage, there's a, there's a sliding, looks like hatched.

A sliding hatch. Okay, I pull it out.

As you pull on the hatch, it appears to be like a small entrance for some sort of animal to enter and exit through the bottom of the carriage. It's probably six inches by five inches by eight inches.

And it's a sliding like shk.

keep that closed because I can't fit through it and I don't know what's in there. Okay.

I'm going to

So you do not open the hat.

I want to see inside, but also, like, what if it's a giant snake? I open the hatch.

Ha What? okay. You open the hatch and you, are you underneath the cart in the snow at this point, or are you just reaching down and kind of looking from the side?

reaching down and looking.

Immediately when you open the hatch, nothing happens. Nothing changes. The hatch is just open.

Okay, nothing moves, no sounds, nothing.

How long do you wait?

seconds.

Nothing changes.

Okay, I start to slide underneath to get a look.

Okay. Inside, there's a dim light, which is strange because who would leave a candle lit in a carriage that they just parked in?

Okay. I'm getting out of there. I think if I don't see anything else,

So you're looking up

Yeah, I'm not

through the hatch. You see velvet curtains, deep dark red tones, a dark red light emanating from a few feet over from where the hatch opens up. You're a medium-sized creature.

Yeah.

You might be able to get your head up through the hatch, but that's about it, or an arm. But you do see what appears to be an incredibly beautiful interior. Really nice, like, mahogany, really nice, like, brass and silver fixtures, really nice, like, leather and velvet, and something emanating a dim red light.

On that note, I'm not going to push my luck. I'm going to head back inside.

And with that, as the goblins like literally taking me down this treacherous path to his fuckhole dungeon, I want to I want to I want to immediately like slam next to like against the wall and tell you know, ask him what the fuck he's trying to do here, man. Like, I just need to take a shit.

You slam against the wall. This fucking goblin's got a raging goblin daughter, dude.

I say impressive, but it's not enough to keep me from my sleep. No, you better have another 20 more of those motherfuckers or you just take me to the place where I need to take a fat shit.

It was like a ceramic bowl right on the ground. And we were like, I'm looking at the end of that.

shit, what is this, a glory casket? I'm not gonna be the one dying in there. You drill holes in all your dead so you can just fuck them out of the unclean.

He leads you to the actual latrines and looks a little sad. As you leave the room, Ozan, are you stealthing?

Yeah, we'll just see that number so I can see how Heidi you are.

Oh, not bad.

Yeah, no, that's great.

Yeah, you just leave. No, you don't do shit, man. You're just like, you're a little wrapped up in the massive 1.2-inch goblin cock, the ceramic bowl offering of asking for your feces, and just the general aura that this goblin has about him. He's so confident, you know?

Do I see ozone?

Yeah, I dig it.

He takes you to the bathrooms.

Good. I go collect myself in the little train.

There's a hole in the side of the wall in the latrine. And then he leaves. Yeah, he leaves and goes to the room to the next

There's multiple. Never seen a five-point glory hole. It's new to me.

There's all sorts of different races in this world.

Anyone else do anything tonight before they go to bed?

Because Donnie's...

I'm gonna.

are you still at the bar

I'm going to order myself another bullet soup.

And you are a, like, the only not-goblin other than myself pretty much in this bar, right? Technically, I'm.

That's the feeling that I get, yeah.

I said, yep, that's my understanding. I think Nutty is still down here looking for an invisible person.

holding their...

He's in here, man.

So anyways, I sidle up to you. What do you look like, Donnie? Introduce your...

50 year old human woman.

Looking.

Mm-hmm.

Looking a little witchy.

I got my witch's blouse on.

Divorced twice, looking for love again.

What's up, Donnie?

Nadia, are you at the bar?

No, I'm in the corner.

Okay. Okay. And Rich, you said you're at the bar? I'm at a different corner. You're at a different corner. All right. I don't have a...

Do you have a drink in front of you?

I just have soup in front of me.

Would you like

Can I share a drink with a fellow stranger in these parts?

Oh, absolutely.

I'm going to head to bed, but as I'm walking to bed, every once in a while, there's an open space to kind of like, and wave my hands.

Yeah, absolutely. Fuck yeah.

I sleep on the floor next to the door.

We're sharing a drink and I'm finishing my soup and then I'm guessing I'm going to go to bed.

Yeah, basically, I just wanted to pick your brain about like why you're in these parts. You know, that thing. But also like, I was hoping to talk to a goblin or two, if anyone speaks under common.

There are some goblins in here. Most goblins in here speak common. It's just the uneducated stable boy.

cool so what's the story with this place what are you gonna do for fun here

You pretty much just live to work and then work to live and then you fucking get yourself a little plot of land that you die on. He spits into the fire.

The good life.

Where y'all work.

Some of us are down here chopping down trees for a living. Some of us are down here. This is just a small spot between multiple towns. This is a nice place to stay in the middle of the night. But, you know, there ain't much for someone right here. This is nothing fucking two-town time and time again. This town ain't shit. It ain't fucking nothing for miles. You gotta go a little further up, and then the darkness falls, you can't go past the fog, there's all that bullshit. I'm sure you've heard of it. And then he just kind of goes off into a diatribe of random ass fucking spits and curses, and you can't really get anything out of it, and then finally he comes back to like, Hey, but you know, this is the other way, you know, down there, this is the coast, I always wanted to see the beach, you know, get myself out of that boat. take it down or it's warm and yeah, they lose, you lose them for a while. He comes back and then spits back into the fire and you start understanding him again.

He kind of slips a lot of goblin in there and loses his common for a while and comes back. But you gleaned there's some mysterious fog and then the other way is the coast and he wants to go there.

Rod, man. Hope you get to visit the coast someday. And with that, I get a room.

I get a room. And I can I detect magic in the upstairs hallway?

You cast it.

like ability Yeah.

If you have it, then cast it, yeah.

and TechMagic app will, I do that.

You do not detect anything magic in the hallway.

Going to bed.

you do detect magic, the magic aura coming underneath the door of the room that... Oh, is that me?

Oh, cool. You do take magic coming from the bottom of the door crack from the room that the two guys in the robes rented.

Okay, I'm just going to make a mental note of what room they're in.

I'm not next to it, am I?

Wonderful note.

You go to bed.

Does everyone go to sleep?

Yeah, I make my way up to my room.

Yes, sir.

It's hard for me to sleep, so I'll stay half awake, I would say.

He puts one eye open.

Yeah, I keep getting like tussled away, you know, it's hard. Uncomfortable bed, uncomfortable place.

Alright, when nightfall hits, which, when everyone, just heads hit the pillows, when everyone is sleeping, when Jake has just drifted for a second, you know, and you're one eye's open, but you're kind of drifting him to sleep, everyone has this shared nightmare. And it's not as much of a nightmare as it's just a really fucking creepy dream. You dream of a mirror that is black, and in front of the mirror, there's a pale individual wearing a gigantic fur winter coat. It flashes to him drinking the blood of a woman in these dark woods. You hear screams, and You hear, you see this town that looks to be abandoned. You have, you see this man who's writing this letter. He's crying. His tears are like staining the letter. He's asking for help. You've, And then you see this just castle in the, in the background and just like lightning and dark fog. And it's more screaming. And that's the dream. It's just flashes of all these scenes when you wake up. No one got a good rest.

I wake up, I go, holy Jonestown Jesus.

I kick everything and I just, I run downstairs and just go outside and open the doors as soon as I possibly can to make sure that it's like, okay.

It's a bright day, the sun's shining on the snow. Icicles have formed overnight. They look great. It's nice and cheery. The goblins are singing a goblin tune. You know, it's good, man. Good morning.

Fuck all that.

They're making some breakfast. You've never seen goblin pajamas before, but everyone's wearing them. You know, these guys are just feeling...

uh

Was the castle at all familiar?

roll me knowledge history.

You don't recognize the castle.

Not even a little.

Can I try that too?

Yeah, go roll it.

The castle doesn't seem super familiar, Ozan, but something about it, you've, like, it's something about it does. Like, you can't place it exactly, but you feel that you've seen an illustration of this castle before. Like, somewhere, you just can't exactly place where it was.

Like, you don't feel that you've ever been there, but you've seen this, like, on, like, an art piece or sketch or a book, maybe.

which history.

That's what it looks like.

As I come back in from outside, I immediately go to the barkeep and I'm like, I need to figure out what the fuck my dreams mean. Do you have anybody here? I'm willing to pay any sort of amount that I possibly can to go to this castle and I draw that out.

He looks at that, what you drew, and he's like, oh, yeah, you got to talk to the gypsies, man.

That's the only people who can help you with this shit. I know what you're talking about.

The peak is,

He gives you directions to a gypsy camp that has a fortune teller who will be able to answer all of your questions.

Did I see the picture that he drew?

Andrazia map.

The castle? Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's just right there, throwing it on the bar.

when I see him guard, then

Roman, see how well you drew it there.

But when you see it, Ozan, what do you say?

I tell him that I saw the same dream too.

I make eye contact.

the barkeep if he's seen the same thing too

If the bartender had the same dream?

He did not.

He doesn't know what the fuck you guys are talking about.

What in bloody hell is going on here?

So wait, are you at the bar having this conversation?

Yeah.

I had the same.

So what was that?

I have dreams.

You had the same dream too?

Shared trauma brings everyone together.

Wait, okay, I yell to the bar and I say, who had a dream about a castle?

I did.

No one raises their hand except for any of you guys do.

To any of you guys.

I raised my hand.

Yeah, I pulled the shish noise. And I give him, which is even more conspicuous. I tell him, I give him the hurry up to get over here.

You have who to hurry up to get over there?

Anybody who, anybody, you and

Okay, I shut up and I go over there.

I go over there, but occasionally grabbing at random air. Wave my hand.

Where are we going? I'll follow. I'm following wherever we're going.

And now I have this fucking dream of this goddamn castle on a big snowy ice. And it's the only dream I've ever had in months. It's the only thing that's ever been real was that in a sleep state.

It's real. It's real. I've seen it before. I don't know where, but I've seen it before in like a book or something.

books like a painting

I can't remember. I haven't seen it before though.

Oh shit.

Wait, hold on. You've been having these dreams for months?

Me? No.

You haven't seen a psychologist about this?

I haven't had dreams for months and this is the only dream I've had. And this is the only thing I haven't. You all guys had the same fucking thing about a castle that's snowing. I was goblins trying to jerk me off last night. I had nothing. But now I have a dream about this. Like, what the fuck?

What was that last part? Never mind.

Oblens tried to jerk him off last night. I saw...

Sounds like Goblin tried helping you out with that, but...

I've never looked at a jerked-off goblin in the mouth, and I'm not going to start now, goddammit.

the sort of pale guy with the blood drinking, the fur, the

I've seen that, man.

Wait, what are you guys, who are you guys talking about?

other than this castle.

that just really likes drinking blood.

Are there vampires in this area, Pat? Do we know?

I mean, there's albino goblins. There's anything being here, man.

You're not super familiar with the vampire, vampiric history of the land, but you don't know.

to find out where the castle is.

Find the castle. Save the world.

Or maybe the guy that we're going to go see today. Wait, were you guys invited to that one party?

Hey, why don't we ask those rich people?

Yeah, so I was saying you could probably know.

rich people know castles.

Richard's party. Sounds fun.

say sarcastically

Mm-hmm.

This dude opens the front door and you can see that the carriage has since left.

Ah, shit.

But you do see this man who's bundled up very nicely for winter, makes you look around at the clothes that you're wearing almost. Everyone's been really nicely bundled up for winter. Foreshadowing. And he says, hey, I've been sent to deliver this message to you. And he hands you a letter.

I

clothes beachy dubs

Wait, what does that look like?

He's just like a fucking page. He's got a satchel full of shit to deliver.

I don't get anything.

Turn it open, I read it.

It says, take the west road from here, five hours march through the Sflaglik woods, and you will find my master in Barovia.

Who is it from?

And then on the back, it says, there's another little like fold up piece of paper that says, Hail to thee. I plead for you so desperately. I need assistance.

Oh shit.

the letter he was writing in the dream.

She languishes from her wound, and I would have a desperate plea.

Do I have any idea what this is about?

also be explained

Do I have any more context around us?

And it says, signed, colon, Kolian Indirjovic Burgomaster

Ooh, she sounds lovely.

Oh, fuck. Russian vampires.

I'm so stoked.

Do I have any context on this letter or is this just...

Do I know what this is about?

The only context you have is that he handed it to you and he looked around at kind of all you guys as a group and handed it to you as if he knew you would be here.

Okay, but he wasn't really, he didn't come here for me. He just selected me in the moment, it seems like, right?

It kind of seems like that. You're not super sure because he handed it very pointy at you and he started, yeah.

Well, I look to the rest of the group and I tell them the name and I'm like, that sounds like someone who has a castle.

I said, you're a well-traveled man. Do you know anything about this castle?

Who are you asking?

The page guy with all the stuff, the well-traveled man.

Guys, my living birth

Oh, the guy... Wait, which world traveled, man?

I handled this

page.

Yeah, the WTM, dude. Come on.

These walk... he's walking away. You want a mailman? He goes,

The mailman.

Yeah, the mailman knows all the spots.

Yeah, maybe he's the Lord Mildak.

Maybe he has fur that you guys could wear so you don't die of cold exposure.

He says, I was told to deliver this to the five or six people who look out of place in this bar. And I'm pretty fucking sure it's you guys. As he looks around the albino goblins.

I look at myself like it can't be me.

But yeah, do you know anything about this castle fighting chance? Have you seen one? Have you delivered something there?

If it's the castle you're seeking, you gotta go through the fog, and ain't nobody go through the fog except the gypsies, because they can go back and forth through that shit. I don't fuck with the fog.

GIFT Magic.

What about the gypsies? Can you trust the gypsy?

Is it like acid fog?

I think the gypsies got special candles and lanterns that are magic while I'm going through it.

Yeah, but what's the success rate? Are they going to stab us halfway through the fog?

We'll.

The gypsies aren't evil. They're just gypsies.

Okay, that's what I'm wondering. I don't know. There's good gypsies. There's bad gypsies. I'm just wondering which one's in charge of the fog here.

I hold my hand over Todd's eyes, and I say, the light will always guide you until where you need it to be, but that doesn't matter.

Whose hand's on my ass?

You can walk the path. Yeah, you can walk the path. You want a path. The light will guide you. Yipsy or no Yipsy.

saying we don't need gypsies to go through the fog?

You just have an excuse to touch me. Get off me.

we could use one. I did. I did.

I wonder if this is...

i immediately offer i immediately offer everybody gold to take me to that whatever looks like that spire

And then I'll

How much gold do you offer?

Yeah. Two gold pieces per person. So, two, four, six, eight.

This younger guy approaches you. He's a younger goblin. He says, he's like, I've been through the fog before.

I'll take you to where you go.

and go into the water.

Says photo.

Have them roll a sense motive. I don't trust them.

You got a role since not him.

Yeah, I was going to say, I can't have him rule it.

Well, how do I roll against that? I don't trust this guy.

I want this motherfucker to sense my motives.

He seems to look good.

Ha

I trust him, yo.

I don't know why, but I trust him, yo.

Do I... I don't know. Do I get bad vibes from this guy?

No one gets bad vibes from this guy.

Awesome.

This guy's got good vibes.

I'll take you to the place you need to go. Yeah.

I trust his shoes with fucking lampposts, bro.

Are there any like fur carpets on the ground?

Yeah, there's a cobalt skin rug in the corner.

skin rub

It's not really furry.

We're just like a testament to the fact that these motherfuckers hate kobolds. They're sewn together. It's like five different kobolds.

Yeah, he's like, dude, check out these sandals, Noble. Yeah.

Ha.

All right.

It's a pretty bold look, right? Right?

But the stable boy was a human, right?

No, Sable Boy was an uneducated goblin.

Offer them one gold piece for the Cobalt Skin Road.

Oh, dude, sold.

But...

I wrap it around myself. I have cold weather gear.

on you then

Hell yeah. I already have cold weather gear. I'm set. Who isn't set?

The bartender does sell cold weather gear. It's small in size, but he also sells sewing kits.

I don't need actually to sell any gear so I wouldn't buy one. You all should.

Before we go, is there anything you can tell us about the fog? Goblin dude?

I've only been through it once when I was traveling with the non-denominational poor people of the streets of the woods. And, you know, I went with them, and I can take you to the fog, and I can take you through the fog if we were with them. And I know exactly their path. You'll run into one of them, I bet. And they'll give you for a fee. They'll take you through safely. Or you can go through by yourself. You'll get lost. And the stories say that you can't leave. They can't leave the fog without the candle or the lantern.

This goblin's lying, he survived.

But he was with them.

Yeah, and he's lying about something. I know deep in my gut.

Do you really?

Trust him.

You got to pay me to take you, and I'll take you.

Yeah, maybe that's what you're detecting is that he wants to be paid.

All goblins want to be paid. This goblin doesn't want to tell the truth.

He's like up top.

up top

Oh, God, I'm going to say it. High five.

As I high-five him, I throw my manacle on him, and he's clinked to my wrist.

Four gold.

Did he say polo?

You put a handcuff on him?

or gold.

You bet your ass I do.

That should seem to be

I mean, is that or no, Guy?

Roaming initiative.

Our fight.

Keep sitting over here at this table watching everything unfold quietly. Or did like, did Jake throw hands?

Jake tried throwing manacles on the goblin.

He's about to throw hands.

Thank you. Go first.

Gravel check with a manacle.

Street fight.

It's a CMD.

Yep. You're going against a CMD of 14.

Okay, the CMB is plus one with the manacle.

I don't want to fight the goblins.

And you get...

guide us through the

And you get the manacle right on his wrist. He looks up and he's like, what the fuck are you doing, man?

I said, you're with me, right?

You'll be paid handsomely, and when you're done, you're the one who knows the route and who knows the road. So you'll be paid handsomely when you show us the right way.

I take you to the fog, man. I ain't going in that shit.

either not without you

Nope, no deal. Fuck that. I'll show you the fog. I'm not going to be handcuffed to this motherfucker. You ain't. Nope. Hell no.

Why are you scared of the fog?

Because you fucking can't get out of it without the help of the goddamn gypsies with the candles. I don't know if we're going to ever find one of those motherfuckers. I'll show you the fog.

Gypsies are scary, but gypsies aside, what did you see in the fog? What did you see?

Dude, fucked up shit happens in the fog, my guy. I'll take you to that shit. I am not going back in there.

you will be released when you get to the fog just take us there then you'll be set free but make sure we get there and we don't get lost

Why do I gotta be handcuffed? Why do I gotta be handcuffed? I ain't fucking taking you to get a handcuff. You don't tell my ass. I'm like a woods. This is some fucked up shit.

He was offering

Sex Goblin, just look at him. Oh, so lucky.

It is a fucking trip.

I'm not saying it's not fucked up shit. I'm saying you're handcuffed. And this is how it's gotta be. Because I don't trust anybody else in here. You will be paid. You will be paid when you get me to the fog.

This is now reality.

What if we could

Roman diplomacy. Oh, and intimidate.

Same thing.

What do you want first?

he was very intimidated but he was diplomatically weaved the intimidation Man, he's scared. He's scared as shit.

I mean, can't my gold pieces pump my diplomacy?

I just didn't think you were gonna fucking pay him.

Can I help out with diplomacy?

Yeah, you can talk to this guy. He's just terrified. This guy wanted to fucking make some money and show you some shit, but now he's got Jake fucking yelling down his throat with the handcuffs on him.

I tried to explain why this is a good thing for the goblin and he can earn some money.

and that my friend has interesting kinks that you should just roll with

I win.

I wink at Jack Hughes. I give Jack Hughes a wink.

I give him an obvious wink back.

If I go do this with you guys under duress, it's going to cost like Six gold.

I'm afraid it's about to cost you your life. This man is crazy.

Did you say that to him? It's going to cost him his life? Fuck that. I ain't going.

I said I'm afraid it's going to cost you your life because of how you're acting right now.

No, hell no. Ain't going. Y'all are on your own. Fucking nothing's worth this shit. You guys are going to fucking kill me in the woods. That guy's wearing a cloak made out of skin. I'm fucking... Y'all are fucked up.

I whisper into his ear. Hey, can I whisper into his ear? Can I whisper into his ear that we're going to kill him right now if he doesn't cooperate?

Stunning fest.

I'm intimidated.

Okay.

Roland Timonet, we're out.

He shuts the fuck up.

Okay. Good job, Ozan. I was about to fucking throat punch this kid.

That's great in the situation.

Yeah, he shuts the fuck up. He cooperates with them.

Fucking goblins. Even if you pay them, they make noise, dude. Fuck.

These white ones are not like the ones I know.

Why are they not? They're not like the green greedies, dude. Fat and shit.

a fucking stick up their ass.

He is right. What do you think? You're better.

Hi, Jane.

Yeah, I don't want to die.

I can save home. Yeah, damn, dude.

I don't want to walk into the white mist. Fucking shit, dude.

I don't know.

Bitch, I'm missed.

You will do what I say you do.

So you've got a quiet, complacent goblin who's been intimidated and handcuffed into servitude. What do you do?

even though he offers me.

He rides upon my neck with his feet. He's

No. I mean...

do you rename the goblin?

What you got?

I laugh nervously and I shut up.

call him money better.

what you guys do.

Have we eaten breakfast? I ate breakfast.

We don't want to get our asses kicked out there.

Yeah, the bougie party. Remember?

Should we go there or should we find the gypsies?

I just thought.

So should we go to the bougie party first or just go find gypsies? I mean, the whole point of me being here was the bougie party, so... I at least want to hear this guy out. And also, you know, they'll have good food and shit.

There?

We must go, we must.

However, no.

No. That's the difference. That's number two. I'm talking about number one. That's not five hours. I'm reading real close.

We do have to keep a prisoner now for the entirety of a party.

He's not a prisoner. Are you a prisoner? I look at him and I ask him if he's a prisoner.

He got chained up.

No. Correction. He's my prisoner. Y'all don't have to worry about shit.

No. He's not. He's not.

Or did the end weight say you can bring a plus 1?

He's quick.

Hey.

It's a bougie party they've got to allow Goblin servants. Yeah, exactly

Slaves, of course, yeah. Yeah. I'm bougier than y'all. Y'all don't keep your white, your albino goblin servants, dude. Come on. You ever seen something...

Tevin's full of them. Everyone grab a goblet and let's go to the party.

So does that mean we should have fancy clothes?

I would assume so. I don't think me wrapped in my cobalt skin rug is going to get into this bougie party.

Me and my governor show up naked like the prince's clothing.

He was never made with many garments and turned into the spine of the rings I wear.

We got big dicks. We don't need clothes.

Deal.

To the party.

Yeah, dude, we rockin' thickies. It's fun.

Pate, everybody. Pate.

but he's also five hours away

Yes.

Now that's

It's almost like for two different types of people.

That can't be good.

Like to make sure we come.

Yeah. No, they're like one. The invitation is inviting you to a dinner and the and the plea for help with the directions is inviting you to the same the same area.

In the dream, there was a guy writing a letter and that castle was in the background. So perhaps the guy that needs help is the guy whose castle where the fancy party is in the background.

The guy who was writing the letter had teardrops hitting the letter.

Oh, yeah. Are there...

It wasn't an invitation.

This is something.

There are no teardrops on the letter that you...

I'm guessing it was probably the plea for help.

Jesse, you know I can't read.

Does the plea for help have tear stains on it?

All cries for help do, Jess.

The plea for help, let me see. It does. It has tear stains on it.

So we should...

Not the invitation. The invitation is different handwriting. And it's got a nice seal.

for the fancy party.

Yeah.

I think we should visit the guy who's asking for help first in case he has some information about the castle that he lives next to.

I think they're at the same place. So either way, yeah. Yeah, we should.

I think we need to attend the party because that's going to be our way into wherever this is.

I'm not the smartest man, but I'm just going to say, I feel like one of these is a trap.

Half of us go into one, half goes into the other.

Pretty sure.

Should we find Tripsies?

Yes.

So, sir. Let's go through the mist!

You guys take off. Do you have any means? The chart was walking.

I do not know.

I fly.

the wagon

Not that anybody should know.

The wagon wheels that you see from the two people who stayed the night that gave you the weird unsettling feeling, they're going in the same direction that you are.

thought of it.

Fuck, we could have caught a ride.

Can I try my shadow bag right now?

Are there horses?

What, you got a shadow bag?

Yeah, I have a pretty cool item.

It's the Shadow Well thing.

Yeah, Shadow Well. Let me see how that works. Shadow Well.

Love of Shadow.

It's like stepping through the shadow plane.

I, you, Yeah. I've been using it as a physical caveat. Yeah.

Basically, it's a portable hole.

Looks like a portable hole. So once you pull it out, it's just like you're in a character out of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. You can slap it against the wall or against the floor. And instead of just going into the portable hole, it opens to a random location on the shadow plane.

When you say random...

I mean, it's random.

Does it allow him to come back, though? Or is it random when he...

Is it a one way? Do I know that?

opens to random locations on the shadow plane regardless of which plane the user opens the well from there is a 15% chance it randomly diverts the user into the ethereal plane given its nature as a natural buffer between the two realities gate shadow walk have you ever used it

Yeah, once, and that's how I got here. That's why it's kind of driving me mad.

So I won't use it.

to traverse. Because that's terrifying.

But thank you for reading me the rules. If you could link me that.

That'd be great.

I'll keep that in my back pocket and I'll hoof it.

What a good one.

You may use an action to unfold it and place it on or against a solid surface, whereupon it creates an extra-dimensional hole. The cylindrical space within the hole exists on a different plane.

So it can't be used to create open passages, but it creates a passage to the other plane. Any creature inside it can exit by climbing out of it. You can use, that's it, this is a really important hole right now. You can use an action to close it by taking hold of the edges and folding it up. So once folded up, Jake, that link to the random location is severed, and it will never open. I mean, it's random. It'll never open up to the same location.

Oh, shit.

The gate is... Oh, shit. Wait, hold on.

I literally started folding it to try to take it and everybody sees me start unfolding it like a Monopoly board and then they fold it back up.

The gate is one way only and can't be reopened.

I'd say no.

The gate is one way and can't be reopened.

I mean, it's a no shit button. If you need a way out.

Well, you can send people to the shadow plane. That's nice.

It's one that's better there than here, portals.

Well, you could also, like, set it on the ground and cover it with a carpet and then push someone...

to the Shepard. instant death

instant yeah probably instant task

How far is he living in the Shadow Plane now?

I mean, Shadow Plane could be nice.

And it's not like everyone you pushed in can band together. They're all in different locations.

all right, what do y'all do? You've got, you've got a guide. You've got, you've got some tire, some tire tracks, you know, some carriage wheel tracks. You've got a plan.

I just had to walk.

I asked the goblin downstairs if he got any horsies.

I have some horsies. Would you like female horsies or male horsies?

Oh, horses. Horses. They have horses, but they're small horses. They're like ponies.

I was just going to say, God damn it, goblins.

These are problems that ride snow ponies.

Snow ponies? It sounds adorable.

Do I feel like I can ride a pony or could I like kill that thing?

You would ride this pony into the ground and then...

Full plate mail, by the way. You sure you want to take that up? No. Pony might try biting me.

They've got some war ponies, some combat trained ponies.

to pass on the punnies. Thank you, Goblin. Is there any actual...

They weigh 600 pounds, man.

Is there any actual, like, I don't know, not Goblin City from here on the way?

This is like the only Goblin, man. Most of them are regular ass.

I'll catch the next one over.

How much do you weigh in your character?

I want to say...

What?

What 80?

you're probably good. You know that with your gear, you're going to probably put a ton of stress on this pony, but right here it says a light load for a pony is a hundred pounds. The medium is one Oh one to 200 and the heaviest two or one to three.

You can ride the pony into the sunset guy. I'll let that decision be up to you.

I'll ride a pony.

but I guess I could ride a pony. Feels a little undignified. I think How fast is somebody going to move? Like five miles an hour like we would?

Let me see how fast ponies are. Let's see.

Like if I'm, I'll keep,

Ponies are 40 feet around. So 10 extra feet per round. So you're going 30% faster. That's all.

Do they have pony carriages?

Oh wait, the carriage is probably going to be small, isn't it?

We have wagons where we can tie many ponies together.

They'll sell you a wagon. Yeah, they got a little wagon out back. It's pretty ghetto.

much are they?

We can pamper out.

This is a lot of to be lazy.

I also got to think about the amount of effort it takes to walk through the snow.

How much is a pony?

Let's see. Pony, Pathfinder, Costs.

Pony is... Pony. 30 gold for a non-combat trained pony and 45 for a combat trained pony. These are combat trained ponies.

So 45.

45 gold opponent.

Okay. Do they know how to feed themselves?

Not in the winter.

I mean, you did say there were snow ponies.

covered wagon are usually 500 gold, but they've got an old ghetto one for 90 gold that's all busted up, but it's got good wheels.

Ask Good Foundation.

He's got good bones.

I buy a pony and like, I don't know. I don't know how much feed is like a normal amount of feed that one would have, like five pounds of feed.

Yeah. Okay. So like enough feed for a number of days.

That's how we'll go about it.

Five days of feed.

Five days of feed and a pony. 45 gold.

It's a war pony, so it's trained for combat.

A war pony.

I took, I can summon us all horses.

You can summon... Nice, Donnie.

I think

I just remembered I have communal mouth.

I was just trying to find my spell list.

You may summon six light horses or ponies. Your choice. Thurman's Mounts.

Yeah, no, I summon everybody a light horse.

Lighthorses go 50 foot per round, and now no one is exhausted after a day's travel. Okay.

How many of us are there? I can sum it up to six.

There's six of us, right?

Also, there's the Slave Goblin. I mean, not Slave Goblin, Chain Goblin.

Chain Goblin.

All right, who's the lightest?

Chain Goblin.

Who's the lightest that can ride? Well, Jake's chained him, so Jake's got to ride with him.

Yeah.

to cross the Aster Bear.

Yeah, exactly. He gets to Play nurse.

Guys, it's the goblin on a chain. He runs behind the horse.

More like it's a drug behind the horse.

Dude, just give him a piece of wood. He can, like, snowboard stitch behind the horse. It'll be cool.

That does sound pretty cool.

All right. We have horses.

Yeah. Warm clothing.

The horses last for two hours, so they last 10 hours.

Okay. So you guys travel on the road to five hours?

I want to follow these wagon tracks, kind of. They're going in that direction as far as we know.

They're going... Yep, they're going the same way.

Okay.

Follow these wagon trucks.

So you you're on the road for quite a while.

It's cold. It's like, does anyone grab anything from the inn before you hit the dusty trail, by the way? Any supplies? Any preparations?

I'm wearing cold weather gear and,

had breakfast.

I'm going to get myself two bowls of soup to go.

How's the weather?

Two bowls of soup to go.

You're going to have frozen soup, Donnie.

No.

That's going to be one silver piece, Donnie.

deal.

It's gonna be a soupsicle.

That's all right. It's for my familiar anyways. He enjoys eating sentient beings.

Wait, you got a familiar?

Wait, it's just sentient beings?

What?

It's pretty snowy. It's not like the snow is coming down a little bit more than a medium amount. Like it's not blizzarding, but it's like it's big fat white snowflakes.

Like, would a normal sane person want a torch for warmth?

You're bottled up. You got a nice warm horse between, you know, you're kind of snuggled up against. It's not super cold. It's just big fat snowflakes are falling.

We should get a move on before the tracks get covered up by the snow.

You are absolutely right. They are already getting covered up by the snow. And as you start going after the first 30 minutes, the tracks are completely covered. You do see slight divots, but it's starting to get imperceptible.

Back to the tavern.

Next hour, the Goblin's basically like, yeah, this is the way to get to the damn fog. You know, he's not riding the horse with you, Jake, or are you dragging him?

Has this thing been with you this whole time?

Yeah, he's just in my jacket.

Let's see here.

Okay.

All right, that's not weird.

He's pretty cute, man, you know? Like... Look at that little guy.

Alright, so you're traveling...

That's about what?

No, that's what happened.

like, you know, your journey.

I, for some reason, decided to become super perceptive.

plus one to my plus one perception.

I'm going to feed my little buddy a bowl of people soup.

and

What's your familiar, Donnie?

It's a ZOOG.

Does it only eat people? are sentient beings.

Yes.

So you can't feed it a horse or anything?

it'll eat what it can get but it definitely prefers sentient beings

Donnie, you goddamn witches...

Which is like to eat children. I don't know what to tell you guys.

There is a pretty sweet hex I was going to take, but I decided against it for now. that involves cooking people.

I'm a cook, motherfucker.

Sometimes, man, you just got to eat a person, you know?

All been there, Donovan.

The major hex, it's literally called cook people.

to cook things that aren't people or just people?

of people. Using this hex creates one meal or serving of food of the witch's choice, typically a delicious stew or a dough suitable for cookies, pastries, or other desserts. Cooking the victim takes one hour. Eating the food provides one of the following benefits for one hour. Age resistance, bear's endurance, bull's strength, cat's grace, eagle's splendor, fox's cunning, neutralized poison, owl's wisdom, or remove disease.

Interesting.

Alternatively, the witch can shape the doe into a small human-like creature, animating it as a homunculus for one hour.

The people that you're cooking?

They're like, yeah, they're delicious.

Of course.

But I mean, that's a shitload of benefits that it can give.

also a spring chicken forget how old I am I'm in the hundreds like I'm 155 I want to say Hang on. Let me look. I'm going to wait until AFK.

154. I decided to get real specific.

The immortal version of like 35.

been through some shit less dramatic

seasoned.

but not weathered.

So you guys are on the road and you're going for a little while and you see... As you're moving down the way.

You've got...

The woods are getting thicker and thicker as you're going deeper into them. And on both sides of the road, you see these giant stone buttresses that loom up in the gray fog. And as you start approaching these gigantic... these gigantic stone worked items. You see like snow and ice is like starts falling off of them and it starts like shaking a little bit as you like get closer to these iron gates. There's two statues of armed guardians flanking the gate. And as you approach within 50 feet, the gates slowly screech open with no one there.

What do you mean by armed guardians?

There are these stone guardians. Their heads are missing from their shoulders. The heads lie on the ground.

at their feet, like far away from them, like

As if they have been knocked off years and years ago.

I put the head back on.

Yeah, is that possible, Pat? Can I put the head back on? Will it fit back on there nicely?

You put the head back on. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of worn. It's not like a clean break anymore. It's been weathered. It kind of keeps wanting to fall off.

I'll do my best.

You keep going?

Yeah.

As you guys keep going through the gates, towering trees, the tops of them look like they're lost in heavy gray mist. Basically, as you get deeper in here, the trees are getting very tall, but the mist is just letting a deathly gray light come through, and the tree trunks are almost touching each other. The forest gets so thick here. You see damp...

Wait, are we going through the myth right now?

Yeah, like you're like you're in it now like

You don't see any gypsies, but you see this, it's just, you just see, like, the mists are getting thicker and thicker. But it's not like, it's not like an impenetrable fog that was described to you by the goblin. It's just like, you see, you see misty stuff above the tree trunks, above the treetops.

So you have a deathly gray light. There's a lot of damp undergrowth. It's really hard to see each other at some times. It's getting so like just kind of gray dim. There's a silence about the about the woods. That's just makes you a little unsettled. It's kind of very similar to the feeling that you got when those two people were in the bar.

I suggest we take them together.

Roll me a perception check and roll above a 20.

Jess, you see a boot sticking out of the snow on your right on the side of the road by a tree.

As in from a dead person or from like a spy person?

Just a boot.

Okay, I alert everyone to the boot.

There's a boot.

independently. We all rolled above. Oh, we all rolled above. Oh,

Just the three of us, yeah.

There's a boot. Check out that boot.

The boot's attached to a dead body.

Is it a good boot, though?

Not even pretty sure the invisible man killed him.

I like for footprints and visible footprints.

you see, you see a dead villager who, once you get the snow off of them, I'm assuming you guys brush the snow off of his corpse to investigate a little bit. What do you use to do that?

My familiar

My familiar has a constant detect magic

Does it notice anything?

Let's see. No magic.

So how do you get all the snow off of him? Do you touch him?

Yeah.

So as you brush the snow off of him, you see he's holding an envelope crumpled in his hand. The remains of his clothes, you kind of see they're torn and raked with claw marks.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Do I know anything about those claw marks?

Like, do they look familiar to me or like portend anything?

You can enroll me knowledge nature.

I think I have good knowledge nature.

You say villager, is this like a goblin villager or

No, just like a human.

Nat 20 on knowledge nature.

Oh, let's see.

These are... These don't look like animal claws. These look to be supernatural...

These are like fingernails that are like sharpened and like, yeah, these are like, this is from a human did this or what used to be a human. It's been like turned into a beast or a creature.

Oh, shit.

Damn it. I knew I should have popped garlic.

Is there anything else discernible on the body? Like, I don't know.

Let's see. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. Paw prints. You see paw prints of many large wolves pressed into the clay around the body, which look to be the wolf prints. And so it looks like the wolf prints are fresh on the snow, and it looks like the claw marks are older. And the claw marks don't match the creature of the prince. So it looks like they have visited the body, but not done the damage. From what you've seen on that Knowledge Nature check, Donnie, it doesn't look like a wolf did this at all. The man looks like he's been dead for several days as well, is what you can determine from that knowledge nature check. At least more than five. And there's a crumpled letter in his hand.

My familiar is gnawing on his leg.

Fuck yeah. The letter is sealed with a wax seal that has an ornate B on it.

There's a B on it.

Yeah.

Is that the same seal that ours had?

Not the party invite, but the one that was handed directly to Ozan.

Is there anything in his pockets?

No. Naked except for the letter and the ripped up clothes.

Well then.

So that is it.

You crack the seal, Matty?

There's no magic. I detected magic.

I cracked the seal. Don't possess me, Pat. Don't make me do it again.

The seal is cracked. Hail thee of might and valor, I, the Burgomaster of Barovia, send your honor with despair. My adopted daughter, the fair Irene, has been in the past nights bitten by a creature calling its race vampire. for over four hundred years he has drained this land of the lifeblood of its people and now my dear irena languishes and dies from an unholy wound caused by this vile beast yet i fear too that the creature has more cunning plan in mind he has become too powerful to be fought any longer So I say to you, give us up for dead and encircle this land with symbols of good. Let holy men call upon their power that the evil may one day be contained within the walls of weakened Barovia. Leave our souls to our graves and save the world from this evil fate of ours. There is so much wealth entrapped in this community. Return for your reward after we are all departed for a better life. Kolean Indirovich, Burgomaster. I'll post that here in the chat.

It doesn't seem like there's anything important out here. I can't to someone else.

I rolled a 12 on perception. Are there any sticks around?