Transcript

Hey, what were you?

Enter as a class.

I'm a Venaria it's basically like a little it's a step up from a monkey goblin so like kind of like a monkey-ish humanoid yeah oh dude I'm a monk baby

But what's your class? What's your class?

not a year of fighter yeah double shield fighter chocolate money yep

is a fighter.

That's what I'm saying, the witch gives me handy. What do I have to roll for that?

He gives you a handjob freely.

We don't need to, it's a kind of like a, you know, the excitement before a battle, you just kind of sneak to a corner that just trying to calm down and stuff.

Do you do it in the foyer and can you describe what happened?

I think we're in this tiny room, aren't we?

No, you're in the foyer.

Yeah, we just opened the big doors to walk in. This is like where we're taking our shoes off.

you know, big doors leading to a, oh, yay.

I mean, okay, tiny room, same thing. Yeah. In the corner of the voice.

We don't know what's going to happen.

Well, are we already inside the castle?

You're in the foyer.

We didn't talk at all about strategy. We just... Walked in.

Babe, come on. There's no time for strategy. Just fucking drip me off right here in the foyer.

We don't need plans. The truth is within us.

Follow the compass inside our heart.

The truth was going to be outside of him.

It's just out now.

You got your truth on my sleeve.

Okay, so you guys...

Let's Leroy Jenkins this.

You guys are in the FOIA. You hear... You hear... echoing reverberations of your voice throughout the dark hallway. You hear the sound of organ music playing loudly. A single keystroke starts the song and from there the notes tumble upon each other to create just a resounding just presence of sound and vibrations through the halls what do you do

You hear other people?

No, you just hear yourself and the echoing sounds. Yeah.

And then just the music. How far is it? Like how many moons away-ish? Like how far is it? It's like really faint.

So you hear it coming from the right. So you're standing in the foyer. The word is losing all meaning.

from the rank.

We're standing in the other room.

Mafoyer.

I'm pretty nervous for you.

Just have a...

Is there no like

All right.

Is there a helper or anything that's supposed to get the door for us or bags?

Yeah, where did we pack the limo?

It parked itself, I believe.

So you hear...

Music coming from your right. If you were to enter the next room, it would be down the hall. If you hear it going and bouncing off of the walls, what do you do?

I don't hear anyone. Can I just roll perception to see if there's people around? I just really want to make sure I don't want to be surprised by this.

Okay.

24 not natural or anything

You see cobwebs hanging just beyond the doorways. You see the torches flickering light that bounces off. You see dust motes in the air. The webs cast strange moving shadows across the faces of stone gargoyles.

Are there cobwebs? Are they like, where is traffic moving through here? Or is there so many cobwebs that no one's been through here in a while? When do I think the last time someone passed through?

It definitely looks like people have been walking through here.

The webs cast strange moving shadows across the faces of the sun gargoyles. The gargoyles are squatting motionlessly on the rim of a domed ceiling. Cracked and faded ceiling gonses are covered by centuries of decay. Two doors of stone stand closed directly in front of you. To the north, a wide staircase climbs into darkness, and you still hear the sad and majestic organ tones.

The hallway is lit to the south.

You guys want to go in?

Well, of course, it sounds very inviting. I love the tune.

What's the, I mean, we should have a little bit of plan, at least. We're just trying to find a dude and chat him up, you know, see if he's willing to...

innocuous politely.

As you guys, as you say that, I was on you here reverberating off the walls.

Oh, Ozon's voice? What are you saying?

Yeah, it echoes a lot in this room as you guys are talking strategy in the hallway.

You mean the foyer?

What kind of lights were there again?

Flames. Fire!

I said, let's go enjoy a meal.

Quite.

Okay, fighter, I'll be right behind you. I follow the fighter.

I'll take up Breer.

of sausages.

As you guys enter into the next room, and feel free to move your pieces into the next area, as you enter, torchlight flutters against the walls, and you see...

Mad dream, by the way.

You see a suit of armor oiled and glistening, standing with the attention in the shallow alcove.

I bet that thing moves around.

I got my imagination. I'm good. I see it. I see the gargoyles. I see the sunbeams, the cobwebs.

Sigh to the seal.

what should we do just go to the music or That's how people go to music.

I say honesty is the best policy. Just go up there and give the invitation.

Anyone want to make

I'm going to linger behind you by like a lot. Like 10 feet.

But there's no one else around. They're going to know you're with us.

I mean, what if I didn't necessarily enter but just hung back? I'm just thinking there's an ambush. Thinking there's death in a

I mean, you might get like

Yeah, that's a good idea. So you're always one room behind us.

You could get Scooby-Doo behind a bookcase or some shit if you're hanging too far back. Be careful of that.

Get sniped by like... I don't know, a painting with eyes.

But chances are they won't do it completely silently. So at least we'll know someone's coming from behind.

Yeah, not too far behind, just enough that, like, if shit goes power...

I like that idea.

Honestly, I probably shouldn't be all the way up here, actually. Well, something does happen, but I'm just guessing we'll have to talk with people because I don't think I'm very good at finding it.

Oh shit, I got really good decks though. fuck? Maybe I am gonna

What's your AC?

with modifiers. That's pretty good, yeah. 24? OK, maybe it's not that good.

That's not bad. I'm only 24.

24 with a shield, so you pretty much have the same dex as me, just without a shield. Or same AC.

I'm 24 with no armor, baby.

Wait, no, my AC is 22. My DEX is 20.

Yeah, no, just your AC. My AC is 24, so.

That's correct, Zendrick.

22, but I don't have a shield I think.

to our research.

It should be fun.

I do have a shield, I just don't. I have a mithril shirt.

You have night vision?

Me? No. I'm just a human.

Low light 30?

I think so. I don't know.

Is it dark in here?

Okay, you need vision and do you have night vision or low light?

I'm just human, so I'm probably low light 30. I don't know. Definitely not at night. We should...

No, humans do not have only 30.

Nah, he's human, man. He can get shit.

Humans have zero. They just have vision. You can have a torch.

Zero for low light.

If you have low light vision like an elf...

It doesn't matter. I just didn't like the basic human vision. That's what I am, just a simple man.

I don't know if you caught it, but Jess is going to be hanging out in one room behind us at all times, watching behind. And she's especially on the lookout for Scooby-Doo situations. but then the rest of us are going to the music

Pat, did you say that armor was, is it like a suit of armor, like up on a stand and stuff, or is it just standing there?

suit of armor on a stand.

It looks like the type of armor that starts moving around when shit gets hairy.

It looks exactly like that.

Oh shit.

It looks like it's a normal suit of late male at first glance, though.

No one, there's lights on around us, right? So that's why I can see.

Oh, and perception, Eddie.

The armor looks...

Looks like there's a person inside of the armor from behind the isolates. And he's breathing.

There's someone in the armor who's breathing.

Let me go handle my invitation.

The moment you touch the armor nutty, the hand of the invitation, it tumbles to the ground and makes a gigantic noise. And the organ music stops.

Is there someone inside of there?

I look around trying to find someone to get my invitation to. It's like, ah, fucking, what the fuck?

Are you hard to read?

Alright, I guess through this door that

I think it's like a train ticket, you know?

They might come and check it.

I walk up and snatch it out of his hand. I said, you did some kidnap shit now. What are you doing?

Just trying to find my seats at the table, man.

You fuck up the Dracula's groove, dude. What are you... What?

I'm into a man's house and just mess with his decor.

I thought there was a guy in there.

I did too. I heard breathing, I think.

That's prior to me, but...

Should we go to the music?

What do you guys do?

Should we do it? Should we go towards the music?

I try it. We go to the music.

or I mean like where the music was previously coming from.

The week's below us, right, Pat?

Yeah, the music's coming from below you.

What kind of doors are these in front of me?

Those are big brass doors.

Yeah, we should go towards the music. I'll go towards the music.

The music staff though, right?

I'm going to use my gloves of reconnaissance to see what's on the other side of these doors for a turn.

All right. That's what you're doing. What's everybody else doing?

I'm waiting for the reconnaissance thing. I'm curious. What does your gloves do? I don't know you have special gloves.

Yeah, hunting right next to Richard being like, what do you see?

Can I do...

They're great. You can see through up to five feet of solid material.

That's what you see, Rich. Don't move, but just look. What do you see?

I have

quite, I'd like to roll a perception on that, but yeah, no, I can see. Statue.

Go ahead.

Okay, we're good. Yeah, statue things on the side. Maybe traps.

Can I cast Detect Magic?

Yeah.

I think we should all get gloves of reconnaissance and just become like a hit-hand team.

We're going to get ambushed, but you don't want to get that through.

Nah, man, you just opened the door. Shoot. We were invited here.

I always open the door if you want to know what's in there. It's the best way.

Let's swat this shit. Yeah, let's go.

Should I be a room behind you still or should we...

Yeah, I think that's still a great idea.

Okay.

You guys want to go to the bronze store?

Of course, yes. I open up the door. I give a little knock first, actually. Just don't want to, don't want to, don't want to, don't want to large in on somebody, you know, they could just be naked in their statues, you know.

Where? Which story?

The statues were...

Are we going to mess up some more statues?

I mean, no one messed up any statues. The statue fell on its own.

Well, knocking. It's the polite thing to do.

That's right. That is a story.

So you guys go to the big brass store?

The music did stop, by the way, so I think someone is going to come and check on it on what just happened, because it was pretty loud.

It did stop.

But what happens when we open the store?

It is locked.

Anyone have lockpicks?

I mean, we could just hide behind all these pillars and wait it out.

if that's going to work that well. We could do that. I just I think we will be found 100% confidence.

I'm just going down the hallway a little bit here.

Following that.

Is it just me or did it get dark down here?

All right, you are in. Okay, I'll stop. Let me read something to you.

There are doors to your left. They're closed. You hear some light touching of organ keys as if someone's preparing to start playing again. They played a couple notes that didn't quite fit the music earlier as if they're changing songs.

What do you do?

I'm going to roll local or... I guess knowledge songs, see if I can recognize any of them.

and i try to pick these locks or like open this door

Which door? The door on your left down there?

The bronze one that was locked.

Are you still up there? Yeah, you can try to pick that lock. Do you have lock picks?

Yeah, thieves to us. Take three gold. I'm an investigator, so I retcon. But I rolled it up.

You roll a 12. Your pick, student, you do not open the door. Just can't quite get it.

Is it just dark down here, Pep?

It is that dark down there, yes.

I pull out a torch.

and I talk in a normal kind of slightly elevated voice. Hello? Is anyone over there?

You hear someone say... come in.

And here's your torch, Nettie. It's pretty big.

It's a two-hander.

I'm not compensating, all right? This is what they sold me at the store.

Look at that torch emitting light.

I can't move the torch, though.

Let's go.

oh here i'll make it so you can move it controlled by everyone all right now everyone can move the torch

But I say, can you like turn the lights on maybe a little bit?

It opens up, well, the doors in front of you open up.

I'll show you these guys right here.

You just walk right to it.

Oh shit.

Oh, who's that? Is that Dracula looking?

No, fuck. I put the torch out, Pat. God damn it.

Sure did.

I look like a fool.

The doors open.

Who's that?

You see a magnificent 40-foot square room. It's brilliantly lit by three massive crystal chandeliers. You see pillars of stone standing against dull white marble walls. In the center of the room, a long, heavy table stands covered with fine white satin cloth. The table is laden with tons of foods. Everything that you can think of. Roasted beasts, ducks, chickens, hens, basted in savory sauces, roots and herbs. Every taste, every sweet fruit and vegetable imaginable. You see places set for each of you with fine, delicate china and fine silver. At each place, there is a crystal goblet filled with amber liquid with delicate fragrances. Everything smells amazing. Amazing. At the center of the far west wall between floor to ceiling length mirrors stands a massive organ. Its pipes blare out a thunderous melody. It offers in its tone greatness and despair. Seated before the keys...

His back to you, a single caped figure pounds the keys in raptured ecstasy. The figure suddenly stops and a deep silence falls over the dining hall and he slowly turns towards you.

Tad, yep.

So... Three of us already sat down.

I was like, oh, this is my seat right here. This is what I'm talking about.

Do you have any personal identification?

My name's Todd.

Why didn't you roll a one for perception?

That was the worst.

looking at lockpicking.

I tell them hi, the name is Wu and that's a modifying a pecking and a singing you just had there.

So Jess, are you going to come in then or are you going to stay out there?

she's been taken.

Very specific. She was like, a room behind the dog. You are in there. I am out here.

you know,

We don't know.

Is this conversation happening out loud?

Is this conversation?

I like none of this. I'm staying outside. I'm listening from outside, if I can.

Okay.

Can I hear what's going on in there?

I mean, the door's open, I think.

Doors left open a crack.

I didn't close it.

I immediately turned my head to check to see

Welcome to Castle Rabinloft, my dear adventurers. I am Strad von Zerlvik, lord of this domain, and I must say I am intrigued to meet you. You see, few dare to venture into these haunted halls, and those who do sometimes regret it. But you seem different. You have a certain fire in your eyes, a determination that tells me that you are not easily intimidated.

I'm already eating chicken, by the way.

I think he's talking to you there, Todd.

You are my guests. It is my duty to provide for your needs. Please join me. Let us enjoy this meal.

That was awfully seductive.

Well, thank you, but let's also talk about the business, shall we?

No.

You notice that he's not moving from the Oregon.

I hold my dinner roll in my hand and I throw it at him.

Ha.

The moment you throw it at him, you hear wind rushing through the hall. You hear screeching and hinges and a thud of many doors slamming shut. One after the other. Boom. And all of the torch lights go out in this room.

It's because you broke the armor, Todd.

Well, fucking wait. My fault. Fucking roll thrower.

It only lasted 10 seconds. 10 seconds!

I'd like to go for diplomacy, please.

And you hear a maniacal laugh and Strahd disappears.

I'm regretting everything.

Wait, can I roll diplomacy?

Goddamn trap.

Can I roll diplomacy after he throws it before he disappears to try to make up for it?

Yeah, no, absolutely not.

Is the food still here?

I mean, I...

You can roll diplomacy, Ozan. However, he threw the roll, and that did happen.

Well, okay, so I rolled a natural one.

for diplomacy.

Okay. What do you say?

I was going to say that my friend is just from a region in which it's very polite to be throwing bread to someone so that they can eat.

There's just cultural misunderstanding.

and all you hear in return is utter dead silence

Pat, is the food still on the table?

He wasn't even here in the first place.

Yeah, is it who's still on the table?

All of the food disappears.

Fucking God damn it.

You keep hearing a mocking laugh in the distance. All right.

Alright, that one was my bad.

Ha.

Kent, let us enjoy it for a minute.

What's her name?

The fragments of food waft away.

You've got to control these urges.

I knew he wasn't there. Nobody can play a Chupin that good.

Nobody can play a shit pile that good.

Even so, at least we weren't locked in here with no food.

I got my torch out again.

Todd, you get your torch out again.

I yell into the void. Well, you knew what you were signing up for when you invited us. There's the fire in our eyes.

Is that an attack on us?

No, nothing attacks you. But wind rushes through and all of the lights in the castle turn out.

Say it with a black torch.

Not your torch.

Okay. Well...

Can you see for me, Torch?

Yeah, I was wondering if it also blew over. Well, I clearly check the door, as is the first protocol thing you do.

You check the door. It's still open. Oh, no, it slammed shut. It's not locked.

I take out my rapier.

I was going to say,

As the door opens,

is now locked.

I tried opening it.

Wait, are you talking about the door that is entering the dining hall?

Came in. Yeah. The way we came in.

Yeah, it opens back up again.

Well, what the fuck?

Not locked into our death.

What kind of trap is this?

Is that guy still in the room or did he just like dissipate?

Romney perception.

Because you all were in there witnessing it.

Jacques does not know. Todd did not see. Xarthax is confused and staring at the lack of chicken.

I don't actually eat, but yes, I am confused as to where it went.

sees a role on the floor.

He turned into a roll.

I'm old at 29. Do I see anything?

I don't see a 29.

On the...

I don't see any roll. But I'll take your word for it. Your tablet's probably slow.

Yes, you caught a glimpse of him, and it looked like he went completely limp and then smashed into the organ or something. It was weird.

Okay, so he is still in the room, and he's just like...

That's what you saw.

Okay.

But then the lights went out and the wind rushed and Everything kind of fluttered.

You heard Duddy screaming about the lack of chickens.

Todd. I'm sorry, Todd.

Yeah, thanks.

So this room is completely empty.

Is that role still there?

Is the roll still here? Is there anything edible or any wine?

Not a damn thing, Todd.

What about the food that he was showing? Did that disappear?

Yes.

All right.

Is this statue of the corner, like, legit? Or is this, like...

Where are you?

It's over yonder out here.

Yeah, that's another statue.

Is it also breathing awkwardly?

And the other one was not, you did not see it with the other one breathing awkwardly at all.

I'm just going to leave it be.

I'm gonna ask why we're here and see if he is conscious and just like tired.

Nothing.

No response. Okay.

Well, I guess we should get out of here.

Let's loot his pockets. No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I don't loot his pockets.

Not how you treat your guests.

Whose pockets?

Toothpockets.

organs.

Oregon dude?

Yeah, he disappeared.

Okay, that's what I was asking about as far as like the person that you said went unconscious. So after he

I said you saw him go limp and it looks like he smashed his body into the organ or something and then all the lights went out and all the wind rushed in. That's the last thing you perceived of him, but there's no sign of him now. You got a glimpse of that, though.

And then he disappeared.

Got it, got it, got it. Okay. Now I get what's happening.

I'll go back into the guest hall.

All right.

Yeah, so what's the move?

Wait, I want to explore the organ.

Let's get out of here, fighters.

Can I look behind the organ?

Yeah.

Okay. I mean, like, in case there's, like, a trap door of some kind or, like, secret pass-up.

Yeah, give the keys a little tickle.

You're the key. Romney Perception.

Just sit here and not jam out.

You're just going to have to tell me your role. I can't see your roles.

I mean... Party's kind of ruined.

I haven't, Now I've rolled it.

You push on the back wall and it opens up.

Awesome sauce.

Motherfucker.

Good.

Okay, I propose we go this way.

A single arched corridor leads to the south inside this area. There are several mirrors in this room. A tall, dark figure in a flowing cape floats in the middle of the room. Old archer slits in the north and west walls are bricked up. You see a figure floating in the room.

Let me show you what the figure looks like.

I was on backs up a little bit.

It looks exactly like your host.

There you are. We're sorry for the misunderstanding.

It's a puppet.

Motherfucking puppet master shit.

He's just laying. There's all of these ropes and pulleys.

What?

Mm-hmm.

It's a mannequin suspended by black cords from the ceiling with mirrors.

Where do the pulleys and strings go?

They go to the ceiling.

And like just straight up to the next floor or something.

Then they come back down to where someone would be manning the mannequin like two feet away.

There's things above us.

OK, can I see if there's any tracks out or something? Like which direction they ran?

From the perception.

25.

yeah there's tracks in the dust that leads south

They went south.

I light the man on fire with my torch.

It burns brightly.

So fucking smoky!

It's hell smoky in here. Jacques Cousteau is right.

Well, I bet. At least we don't have to worry about that coming to live and attacking us or something.

South

That is a good precaution to take.

Just in fucking case.

I'm heading South.

Sorry, left or right, Pat. Let me roll again. Or am I following facts? Oh, no.

Whichever way you want to go. To the right, you see cobwebs filling the hall, obstructing sight beyond a few feet.

Can I burn it with my torch?

But the cop... But the... Actually, the cobwebs are undisturbed and you see the feet, the footprints in the dust disappear right here.

I'll see you later.

Right where you're standing.

Priority standing.

To your right, you see an old guard post. It's an arched corridor. There are several mirrors in this room. Oh, no, I'm sorry, not mirrors in this room. You see a domed high ceiling. Frescoes faded with old imagery. They're impossible to make out, though. They're just so cracked and torn. Tall, thin arrow slits look out over the courtyard.

Do a... Can I, like, light all the...

Did you burn up the cobwebs? Yeah, they all fucking...

Yeah, if I put my torch to him, do they all light up?

They blaze.

More smoke. We needed more smoke.

You've got it.

You might be a pyromaniac.

It's solving all of our problems so far.

Touche.

you mean your problems with their needs of parents.

I mean, did you want to walk through that?

Nobody wants to have a spider in the hair man. Nobody

I have no problem with pyromenia.

going that way or the other way?

But did that flash of light going down there reveal anything, Pep?

The flash of lights reveal the spiral staircase down the hallway.

Which way you guys want to go?

Down the staircase. Don't stop now. You're the one with two shields. You're leading.

Were the cobwebs blocking like the, like made it seem like no one was going through there though? Like, was there enough cobwebs or?

Yeah, it said uninterrupted. Like there's nothing went through the crowd webs.

So he didn't go that way then. He went the other way.

Unless you use some kind of magic.

Maybe, but I don't know. Would he just use magic to avoid going through cobwebs?

Well, I mean, you know, one thing for sure is there's probably no traps down there.

Because

No shit. I was going to say, I was like, Nettie, what are you doing? There are coarser traps down that direction.

Okay, I see what you're saying. All right, I'm not going to go, yeah.

there has to be

This is his, like, drop traps on people spot. Like...

Yeah, I think you're right. You're right. That's the most practical. We should just, we should do that.

It's too much talking. I'm going.

Yeah, goodbye.

Don't get gutted.

This is the nicest words of encouragement I've ever had.

Upper dims.

Up or down? Well, the music was coming from downstairs. So downstairs seems like the only available off

Or down.

We already discovered the music, right?

The organ was the musical.

Yeah, the puppet master strings will come from upstairs.

That's right, that's right.

Puppet Master Strings was in that room, in the same room that we find a puppet in.

That was where he was. That's why we were following the tracks to see where he was going. That's why I was...

Well, looks like we're back down to the coin flip.

We've all had a day, OK?

You can't go wrong. I mean, if I had loot, I would probably put it Downstairs?

I'll take that bet downstairs.

What's the point of having a tower if you don't keep anything valuable at the top of it?

Yeah, no, keep it close to me, right? Keep the most valuable stuff next to you.

I mean, fire moves up.

also has a good point.

I raised my hand in the air for one vote for going downstairs.

I mean, you guys are the ones that are walking in front. Go ahead.

That's right, downstairs.

That's true. We get two votes.

I am down anyways.

All right, downstairs it is.

We go downstairs.

and go back.

Well, I mean... We got to kill him if we want to save the chick.

And then also we need a way out of the mist. So you got to kill him twice.

I mean saving the girls saving the town sounds like a pretty sweet do I mean all rolled into one

Hey, with the girls.

Well, we're stuck in here unless we get rid of the guy making the mist.

What do we see in here, Pat?

Todd, up top.

All right.

in here.

Two Ds.

Oh, you skipped way ahead. Doubled.

double the deducing.

Spiral staircase of gray dusty stones.

Oh my god, the fucking puppet followed us. Told you.

That's all you see.

It's attacking us.

Wait, what do we, what's all we see?

Just a spiral staircase of gray dusty stones to a hallway that leads to the north.

Is there any doors or anything on? Is it just like hella dark? I don't know.

You do see a door to the north, and if you go explore to the left, you see a corner.

Well, someone with a shield should check that out. Wait, hold on, I have a shield. Shit. Fighter!

You want to check out that door?

up here? Am I going the right way?

I think so, Darth, yeah.

What's this other hallway to the left?

It looks like another hallway to the left.

Yeah, wasn't there supposed to be a door here or something?

Found the door.

What's to the left, though? What's over here?

want me to go over there.

So before you step in,

you hear some scuffling sounds. Sickly yellow lichen covers the ceiling of this ten-foot-wide passage running east and west. Opening off to the sides are ten-foot square alcoves. Rotting cots and rags around the corner, the first one that you peer around, and the smell is awful. A deathly silence fills the hall, except for some scratching towards the back end.

Maybe the basement wasn't the best choice.

What do you do?

Maybe this is where he keeps his prisoners.

I check out the scratching. What's the scratching coming from?

It generally isn't.

Can you check out the scratch thing? We're only initiative.

That sounds like where he keeps all this dead stuff. Oh, shit.

The moment you step in there, Rommanitionist.

it's giving me a message about not sending you the initiative that I just rolled or something. Is that a problem, Bat?

Jessims, your initiative is 19.

Alright, turn order. I have initiatives for a couple people. Other people haven't joined the turn order yet.

All right, Jacques. You are first with the 25. And then we have Ulumbra.

No, that's my perception. I'm a natural one for initiative.

Oh, you can roll the national one? Okay. So you want last. We've got...

Todd next.

And woo-woo almost last with Todd or with Jacques bringing up the bag.

and I at 19.

Alumbra starts us off.

Oh, Brad.

Wow, okay.

Maybe I think someone's initiative. No, five, okay, yeah.

I mean, Have I even perceived that there's anything in here? Just the fungi?

What do you do?

Is that all that I'm...

Yes, you hear you just hear scratching noises. That's all.

Okay.

And the sound of Jackie's voice.

I piss squeal.

scratching noises. Even with my superior dark vision, I don't see where it's coming from.

Can't see her in corners.

Okay. You said there are columns in here?

there are alcoves.

Elkos.

They're like mini foyers.

Okay.

Ha.

I'm going to...

step.

There we go. There we go. I'm going to peek around this corner super sneakily. the sneakiest.

Do I see anything in this alcove?

No.

And not behind me either in the alcove directly opposite it.

Okay, and I peek around this one.

Nothing.

Okay, and nothing in the opposite alcove.

Nothing.

Okay, I say it's clear up to here and then start to move forward.

It's all at the end, I think.

And that's as far forward as I want to get until folk.

It is cute girl in there lady. So 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 feet forward, looking around.

further into the darkness.

For someone who wanted to be in the far back, you're definitely in the far front now.

My speed is 30.

Yeah, man. Checking out alcoves and shit.

You get about that far, maybe you can go five more feet and keep your search going. You haven't seen anything so far.

I could go five more feet.

You could.

How about these alcoves?

You're surrounded by skeletons. You're flanked.

With what?

Wait, is she actually surrounded by skeletons? And flanks?

Uh,

I run away.

uh,

So I can drop my torch as a free action. Can I throw my torch?

Yeah, that's an action though.

All right, I'm going to try to throw my torch here.

Just don't botch a hit.

Dex.

Wherever you want to place that torch there, Todd.

I'll throw my torch there. And then...

on the chart.

Wait, no, I'm just going to drop the torch here.

Can I just drop the torch here and draw my shield?

Yeah, absolutely.

I'll just do that. As my action, I will draw my shield. And then, yeah, I'll just wait right here.

You have a move too, if you want.

Mmm.

There's like no light in here though, right?

I'll move here.

and you get two actions you could throw your torch and draw your shield

And not move, yeah. you can swap and move out for a simple action.

All right, I'll throw my torch. here, and then not move, and then draw my shield. That will be my turn.

I am going to come over here. I'm going to cast shield. I'm pumping my AC and going.

This way.

And that's about all I can do.

Pick around the corner. Moving as such.

Anything else?

I just stand side by side by my side of the axis. Right of shoulder.

You see four skeletons right when you get around here.

And now it's the skeletons' turns. One of them turns to you, Woo-Woo.

Peaks out the corner.

This one comes over here.

This one comes out right in front of you.

You are completely surrounded. Alhambra. And three of them swing at you.

First one is 19.

Okay, that hits.

Second one is 25.

Shit. Okay.

Third one is 19.

Jesus.

Hit.

Yeah.

Damn!

And then this plus 6.

Okay, what's that damage?

got hit by a 13.

You take 20... what is it let's see 22 damage

Damn.

OK, damn. 22 damage, you said?

Mm-hmm. Woo-woo, you get it swung on? natural 20 confirms

Oh my god.

All right, let's go.

What was your AC? does not confirm it's critical just a regular hit

does not confirm it's critical. AC 24.

this plus two you take six damage

And anyone who's paying attention to the hallway sees more coming out of the shadows.

Hey, Olumar, what's your AC?

My AC is 17.

And everybody behind me and Todd.

You just hear skeletal shuffling.

Holy shit.

Allen and Potter. A normal everyday kind of guy. The skeletons are shattering their teeth together and we're making these howling, whistling sounds.

As if their lungs are slightly still hanging in their breastplates and squeezing air out.

I,

run up to Ulumbra and give her ablative barrier confusion, feed it into her mouth. which will give her 2 armor to AC and First five points of lethal damage is converted to non-lethal.

first five points you said?

Yeah, and this will be for, what level are we?

Five.

level.

Five hours, so it'll be...

So basically the first five damage from each attack is converted to non-legal.

Okay, I get what you're saying now.

And plus two AC is probably the more important part.

Yeah. Thank you.

Are you Magic Caster?

What class are you in?

No, I'm a ninja, more roguey.

You should check out Mithril's shirt. I don't know if you already have it, but it's worth an investment. Yeah, I think that's my turn. Just move and then go to action.

Was that turn, Jacques, or you still got some action?

Okay, sorry, everything's moving a little quickly. I'm going to get the fuck out of here. Take a five-foot step. I have uncanny dodge and dodge. Okay.

Like maybe tumble or something.

I think that's the thing.

Yeah, I just want to step far enough away to honestly take a potion and pull out my weapon, you know? Taking... footstep that doesn't promote. Yeah, just please. Thank you. Okay, so I...

A lot of skeletons. Anybody have Fireball?

take one of my pure moderate wounds

Was that a five foot step?

It doesn't provoke an attack of opportunity. But you're still flanked by two of them.

Okay, so I take a cure potion of moderate wounds and pull out my weapon. Cure moderate wounds is how many that die again? If anyone knows off the top of their head.

I think through 2D8? Maybe 3D8?

Plus 5? 2 to 8 plus 5.

Is what Rich was saying. Okay, cool.

You gained 13 hit points. Todd, what's your turn? What are you doing?

Would I be able to get in there? We have like a...

You could get in there, but the moment you leave anyone's threat space, you're going to provoke an attack of opportunity. You could go in there and push someone out of the way, but doing so as an action that's going to be your combat modifier versus their combat defense. But yeah, you can get in there. You'd have to acrobatics past some people too if you want to pick an open spot.

who has a specialty.

I will move here and then ready an action to hit a skeleton that comes near me.

Right where?

You're going to move right to there. Okay, got it. So you are about 15 feet away from the skeletons right behind your crew.

Yeah, so if they come towards me, I'll hit a skeleton.

Oh, right. Sorry. I am going to tag a fireball.

Since I don't want to...

Okay, roll spellcraft, don't botch.

To the spell cry.

So it looks like the squares are set to half size. So I want to say the 50 foot would be the 25 foot radius.

So that whole...

Let me turn off the grid.

That sounds looks a bit odd.

Okay. So the map is accurate. The grid was not. So whatever the number says.

There's already a great move there.

Oh,

where you're shooting your fireball.

shoot it against that back wall.

A gigantic ball of fire erupts from the back of this hallway. What's the diameter of a fireball?

25 foot radius, so 50 diameter.

So 25 foot radius, just barely misses Jess's or Lumbras shoulder and hits one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and not the 10th one, just barely misses. So nine out of 10 skeletons have to roll me reflex saves and they all do.

Shit.

I have. What's the DC of your fireball?

C is going to be...

19.

One, two, three...

Three make the save. The others have to take full damage. So three take half.

Well, it's only 17 damage, so...

Only three survive.

Fuck yeah.

And that would be...

So,

You see those skeletal bodies just torch.

piles of bone ash on the ground.

Woo-woo, what are you doing?

Walking up to the... I don't even have to walk up. I'll just flurry and blow the skeleton right in front of me as a full round action.

All right. That's the only one in full health.

Blurry a blow and then pump it one with one Kai point to make another attack at my highest base attack.

Hit.

Is that the damage right there? It just crumbles into bones on the ground.

Skeleton's turn. They move over here. 5 feet, 1, 2, 15 feet, 1, 2, 15 feet. And they hit you, Jess, one, two, and the third one hits you, woo-woo.

24 and 10. To you, Alumbra?

10 damage to me.

and wanted to

No, to hit. And 22 to hit to you. Woo-woo.

Your AC is 24. Miss. So that's one hit on you. Lumbar, four... 10 damage.

The first five is non-lethal.

Jacques, what are you doing?

one important thing about that shield is once it takes 15 to instead of absorbs 50 damage and converts it to non-lethal it dissipates but that should last the whole fight all right so what i do is i is like a five foot step free in this one or is that another version

Yeah, you can take a five foot step during any of your turns as a free action as long as you do not take a movement.

So I'm going to take a five-foot step a little bit back, and then I'm going to do my...

special little thing. So first I make an alchemical allocation infusion and I drink that, which allows me to drink a potion and then basically get the effects, but then spit back up the potion as if I never drank it.

with which actually i might only be able to do one of those at a time so i do alchemical allocation then

Oh, never mind. This is on the ramp. Yeah, OK. So I do that, and I drink the potion. which is a bark skin plus five.

I spit it back out. I get I see additional.

At least I want not. All right, you got it.

I'm going to... Hit this fool. Oh my gosh.

That is the guy that turned into a pile of rubble after the flurry of blows. He doesn't exist anymore.

Which of these guys do?

Both of them have taken 8 damage each.

I'm going to go for... This guy, right? Her? I used to know how to do the little ring thingy. But the guy that's right next to me, West.

And I'm going to just regular old try to hit him with my katana.

16.

Rad.

And... I had it auto-roll my damage. Would you prefer I roll it separate?

No, just go ahead and tell me what it is.

Five. Five slashing.

I'm slashing that brings it past its amount of hit points. That one crumbles into bones.

Well,

I throw my shield at that one.

What does that do?

be one d4 damage

I can't see it. You have to tell me the numbers.

It's a natural one. So four.

Oh, okay. Roll it again. See if you miss.

10 plus 5, a base attack bonus. So 15.

That is a critical fumble. Roll me D100.

I mean, I throw it towards you guys, so you guys might need to like on this one.

Don't forget, we're all pulled apart.

Alright, what was that, 86?

89. 89.

89.

89 on the critical fumble table. Pit self double damage stun for one round.

Son of a bitch.

roll damage, double it, and then you're stunned.

All right, let's see here.

Damn.

We're doubled.

Four double to eight.

8 damage nut, and you're stunned.

Son of a bitch.

You go to 39.

Zyrtex, what are you doing?

I...

And

Take a five-foot step forward. My guy, not hers. God damn it.

quick draw my sickle and I'm going to try and trip him. I have a sickle.

All right, roll it.

Trip that fuck.

15? 15.

15 missed. Is this against CMD or is this against it's to hit? It's AC.

It's, yeah, I guess it's CMD.

Okay, that's a hit. So you can trip him.

There's one left.

He did trip.

But is he in striking distance from Jake?

He is.

I move up.

No, he's not technically within threat range.

No, he's not. He's five feet away.

I give a running start and I just kick his fucking skull.

Roll CMB.

Describe how you kick his head off. Or whatever you're doing.

Oh, sorry. I give him the old axe kick. I run up there and I just do a nice little high half split in the air and then bring that hammer down right in the skull.

cave it's stolen and it crumbles into bones on the floor.

That is, that's it for the encounter. There's a pile of skeleton bones on the ground and a ton of them are fucking charred.

I wipe the blood from my forehead and I start clapping. Good job. Good job, tape. Woo!

Since I'm in the back, no one saw me. I actually hit myself in the head with my own shield.

Yeah, nobody knows.

Pride is yours to keep.

I inspect the cells without touching anything.

Perception 22.

I'm taking a cure light ones.

Romual perception there, Jacques.

Me too.

And 22, you just see lichen and you see something shiny in the corner of the last alcove under the spiderwebs, but I mean, it doesn't look too appealing.

What is it? But what is it?

Just some shiny shit in the back. You can't. You got to see it with your fingers. That's all you get with your eyes.

I poke with my rapier.

What do you do to it?

I poke it with my rapier.

The long stabby finger.

Sabby thing.

As you poke it, it's a shiny slug.

slug

It's very shiny. It's like iridescent.

Kill it.

Killed knowledge nature on that shit. Fourteen.

It looks to be a whole slug population in this corner, and they're like, it's got an iridescent beetle finish to it. With a 14, I mean, you're not super sure about this. You've never seen a slug like this before, and you know there are rare slugs.

I look to my comrades and I ask if anyone is interested in some science.

Todd shakes his head.

Does anyone like to laugh?

I'm interested in science.

Would you like to lick this slug and see what the side effects are?

I'm gonna see if I know what it is before I try that.

Cheers.

You know that it's a slug. You've heard of slugs.

I have heard of slugs. This is compelling.

Lan Mullis.

If I'm allergic to disease and allergic, or I mean not allergic, immune to disease and emergency,

I'm also allergic to disease.

Do I...

How exactly, like, can I get high as an android? Like, would licking it even matter?

Yeah, eat them.

I mean, it depends on what kind of model tongue you got.

Hey, why is the purple guy so big?

I'm so sorry.

Up so big. Why are there two purple guys?

The purple guy doubled himself.

I'm not sure why there are two of me. one of them,

That's like a level 10 spell, Rich. That's kind of fucked up.

Probably mirror image. Yeah.

man, that would be really cool if I could just clone myself. Fuck, I need to get that spell. It's a good call.

What you all doing?

Is there like no recently dead things down here?

He literally put charred skeleton bones right there.

No.

Yeah, but there's like no flesh on them.

And yeah, those are pretty recent.

to cast Detect Magic on those slugs.

No. I mean, actually, there were some rotting lungs in some of their ribcages. You're casting to detect magic on the slugs? The slugs are glowing magical.

Holy shit.

Okay.

Now this is not only a scientific endeavor, but also an arcane one.

Can I take off my shirt, I take off my shirt and make it and make a little, handbag and I, and I try to grab the stuff, a couple of them in there.

Thanks.

to use a couple.

A fistful, more than a bunch. No, a two?

There are, once you uncover the area, there's 47 slugs in the corner. It's crawling with them.

How bright are they?

They're glowing under magic. They don't glow. They're just iridescent when you're looking at them without to take magic on.

Can I take a look at them?

What would you like me to roll? Knowledge? Local? Local.

You can roll Knowledge Nature or Knowledge Arcana.

Nature.

You're familiar with these slugs. They are...

They give you... an effect if you eat them that forces the person who ate them to tell the truth

Oh shit.

Oh, shit, they're true slugs. That's... What I'm going to call them. I don't know what they're called, but I say out loud, truth slugs.

You have to eat them, is that it? Lick them.

Eat.

Alright, I guess we could force it to prisoners.

They're slugs of truth.

Awesome.

They function like a candle of truth.

We could all go back to the beginning of the place with Donovan and the goblin. Feed him one. See how it goes.

but instead of

Jake has the goblin.

But instead of a DC 13, it's a DC 23.

I take five of them.

Wait Jake, do you still have the goblin with you?

Technically, yes.

but he's not he's not my slave you guys were calling him my slave this whole time i just want to let you guys know that all right you pieces of he was my guide

I thought he was your prisoner.

Indentured guide?

Yeah, we were just being real with you.

indentured guides yeah that's a thing

Is five slugs a reasonable or are they like big ish? Are they football sized slugs or are they more like normal slugs?

Really? Okay.

I am taking five of them.

All right, I tear up a bit of lichen, enough to fill out the bottom of my bucket.

Well, these revelations aside, I put ten slugs and a bunch of lichen in my bucket.

and happy and healthy. Getting poison slugs.

So you have a You brought in a bucket there. Sarah, Rick?

the bucket.

Plus one fate point.

I put them in my bag.

All right, you've got a like in slugs.

Awesome.

What do you guys do?

leave to check further rooms.

Let's open that door.

Do we get to the bottom of this room?

Fighter boy. Who are these people?

The air is so musty in here.

corner.

I'm going to say this.

Yeah, that's what scared the shit out of me. I just put him around the corner. That's Donnie.

And that's the puppet that just kind of came with us.

to puppets following us.

Where'd he go?

perception

That shifty puppet is facing through the walls. I've seen him.

with this.

All right. So...

Onward. Onward.

I can pop this door.

All right. So moment you pop the door.

It opens. Inside this room. It's pretty long. It's dark in here. It's really cold. It's like really cold. Almost... Magically cold question mark? Large oak tables, scarred and beaten, are scattered all over the ground in this room. Their wood is crushed and squintered. There's dark stains all over the floors and the walls. It's a 30 foot wide by 60 foot long room. There's a door in the center of the north wall. A door in the center of the south wall that you just opened up. A set of double doors lead from the east wall.

Pat, I throw my torch in the middle of the room.

Just don't botch.

Perfect.

Wait, where'd the torch go?

or loving

OK, there it is.

The room illuminates. You can see more of the detritus and just decay.

I draw my shield.

Yeah.

All right, coast is clear.

Those doorways on the right?

Is there those doorways on there? I'm going to do the same, but using Mage Hand to, like, check the floor for pressure plates five feet ahead of me.

Coast is clear.

to do this thing.

You've got two people walking in front of you while you're doing that, but you don't detect any pressure plates.

Yeah, do we have, like, a room clear? You guys got clear rooms? Because I just walk on shit. I don't actually look for this stuff.

what's happening?

Are these doors on the right? I gotta know. Or is it like a bookshelf or something?

Ashby doors.

They are.

Wait, use your magic hands to see some doors.

Do we have a trap checker?

By any chance?

That's me. I'm not right here. I'll check it. I'm the trap checker.

I'm decent.

I was gonna say, I can just use my gloves.

Oh, and we found some magical slugs, Zani.

Yeah, truth slugs.

Magical slugs.

Maybe you'll recognize with a knowledge nature role.

Cheers.

You meet them and you tell the truth.

Yeah, we just found him, so...

I probably will.

I give Donnie a slug to eat.

They're pretty cool. They're slow.

They just make you tell the truth. We don't know for how long, do we?

We don't know for how long.

But since you always tell the truth anyways, it shouldn't have any effect.