Transcript

And then we did a couple spin kicks. Yeah. And after a couple lucky nat 1s, we fucking defeated these guys.

Thank God Ozone fucking healed us. Look at that poison lore. Everybody's constitution's back at the... That was wild.

Yeah, that was wild. Ozon had a hyper-specific ability. Like a hyper-specific ability that says he can study a poison, roll a poison, or check to figure out how to cure said poison, and did it.

Which is nuts, because usually Atroc, like, you need to poison all the time. Like, that's usually just on, like, my dudes in general, but I fucking don't have it.

Did we rest after that? Like, are we, did we did rest after that in this room, this torturous room?

Yeah, which resting isn't a full heel. It's like a different thing.

But Ozon did cast heal spells, didn't he?

He did.

Never mind. Okay.

are all torturous rooms, Jess. Every door we open is a torturous room.

Torture room.

With no backpack, I agree. With no vacuum cleaner. Right.

And how that'll go off.

Are we getting ready yet?

I've been here.

For how long?

to

That has always been.

All right, what's everyone's hit points?

I'm Max.

I'm about to take a cure light runes because I am at 26 and I don't want to be.

I'm Max, baby.

What is that? What is Max...

take eight fair light rooms.

54.

What's your max, Jess?

38.

38.

What about you, Rich?

How much do we heal? Because I'm at 35 right now. And... How much do we heal overnight?

contrast

Heal.

hit points equal to your constitution modifier minimum one

10 is your level.

Constination modifier times your level, then I am healed.

What's your level? Six.

And my constitution modifier is two. So, boom.

So, yeah, it's,

12 hit points.

So what's your hit points? 34?

43.

43.

My character was kind of foolish and didn't get any... Can't find my lockpicking tools, if anybody has any. Like...

Me and Todd just flex our muscles and be like, we got these lock picks right here, baby.

There's like a dent in this door right here for me punching it. trying to lockpick it for her last session. How long we got? 20 seconds.

Who needs a lock to pick when you break doors?

So, the door opened, all the doors unlocked when we beat the guys, right?

Rich, I'm just going to let you know that door in front of you, it goes down the stairs. And this door goes downstairs.

So we picked the one wrong door.

Yeah, I don't know. That one went upstairs and was blocked.

Oh, and,

You get that one. I get this one.

when you guys when you guys killed all the golems The doors all opened back up again.

Like they're open, not just unlocked?

Opened, not unlocked.

Oh, shit. Okay.

Opened, not unlocked. What?

The doors are open.

Okay.

No joke.

If you close them, they will be locked.

No, they will be shut, not locked.

will be shut and locked.

Everyone looted everything, right, before we leave this room?

I believe so. Except for that invisible shit. Can we get a dispel on that crate that was here? That obviously had something in it.

The box, the chest.

Right.

I've only got the one... I don't want to use my dispel on the chest. I feel like we're going to be coming up.

Good call. Richard, do you have a bag of holding? Can you just put the whole box in your bag? All right.

like a holding.

I have a bag of holding. I have a, sorry, let's make sure it's the right thing. Where the fuck is my haversack? Okay. Yeah. I have a haversack.

I've got a straight-up bag of holding.

Handy, have a second.

pat i put my hand in the chest and i pull out anything that i can the chest that's that looks empty

Right. You put your hand in and you feel nothing in the chest.

I put my torch in the chest.

It looks just like a chest.

Is the torch going in the chest?

It does.

It's not invisible or anything? It doesn't disappear?

you know it's really reception

16.

Yeah, it looks normal.

This empty chest.

with the torch in it.

I can't.

Back it up. Move on.

The chest is still magical from the detect magic?

I'm breaking the chest.

The main pouch of my handy haversack is eight square feet.

Todd bricks the chest.

No, I'm breaking the chest with this.

How do you break it?

Bring it. You break it.

Oh, you're breaking it or breaking it?

bringing it. I'm just carrying it.

All right, so I'm going to go down the stairs. If anybody wants to do the single file, be my guest.

So we're going down the right and ignoring the middle.

Yeah, they went up, right? So they're all upstairs. Should we not go upstairs and try and finish this motherfucker off?

I believe so.

It's already blocked.

It's a dead end up there. That's why I showed up several turns late.

I went to see where it went, and, you know, it's a dead end.

Wait, so the middle path is also dead end?

I'm going to go actually up there and detect magic on the walls, see if there's like a fake wall.

Secret door.

Agreed. Is the door or walls fake? Or is the walls fake?

One percent.

on detect magic

Do I have to roll perception if I'm using detect magic?

No, you don't have to draw perception. So you're using tech magic?

Yes.

You do not detect anything magical.

Then, fuck it.

You are...

I'm going to actually take 20 and check for... Secret panels and little trick wall things.

All right, Rich is taking 20 minutes to check the dead end for secret doors. What's everyone else doing during this 20 minutes? And I will pop over to you.

God, 20 minutes? I might as well run to the store real quick.

Shit, I can just roll for it and say fuck it.

Having breakfast.

So you wrote your own perception, Rich?

you guys eat breakfast I'd search for the wall

So are you taking 20 or are you rolling perception to just look?

I'm taking 20. You guys eat breakfast.

Okay. So 20 minutes are passing. I'm going to pop over to you, Don, and see what you're doing for those 20 minutes. Tell you what's been happening. And in those 20 minutes, Rich discovers a secret door.

It is a non-magical regular ass secret door.

Yeah, that's why I went back and checked.

Alright, so that takes you up to the next level of the castle. which is...

over here, so I'm gonna pop into that and show you what you opened the secret door.

Rich, do you open it?

I'd wait for everybody.

Okay, so you don't open it, but you detect it.

I gather the party before going in or opening doors.

All right, guys, so we got to kill Donnie.

There is a good likelihood that we will have to kill Donnie.

What if we could be friends?

This is not the first time we'll have had to decide whether or not to kill Donovan.

And Jess, I don't think you've got the stat buffs of an actual vampire.

They are incredibly strong.

True. PC vampires are nerfed.

Because they're like, we can't do that.

Maybe Donnie's a playable character vampire with those stats.

Even if he is, he's beholden to his master.

I'm not even that ideologically stuck on killing him, but nobody else is down with the idea of fleeing this place for our lives.

I didn't say that.

If we find the front door, I'm out.

Yeah.

I genuinely cannot be made into a vampire, and I cannot be made into a thrall. So... You know...

It is one of those, like, the perks of this or the losses, I can take them or release them. The world being made of vampires doesn't change my world. You ain't gonna get blood out of me.

It does seem, as far as battle strategy goes, buffing you, Jake, is... one of my go-to actions. Make sure you deal holy damage or whatever fucking magic shit you can do.

I'd say as far as formation goes, either nutty or me in the front, and then nutty or me in the back.

And I can try and get on doing flanking damage as well, because I'm not like melee, but after I'm out of spells, I have several shocking grasps and decent AC. And the only weapon I bring is for tripping.

I know. I got a high... CMB, but like, I can't trip anything fucking in here. Nothing in here has a head, so I can't headbutt it. By headbutting, I mean like, inside my flurries of blows, every single time I do it, I can designate it to a style strike, which, when I headbutt, I'm going to stun for a turn, and then I get to do a fucking combat maneuver. Can't do that. I can't stunning fist anything because everything is immune to critical hits. You know, it's been kind of whack in here for me.

Yeah, I forget that. Oddly, I'm going to randomly be trying to trip things much more based on that I have. My CMB works off my intelligence, so I actually have eight on my CMB and a sickle for tripping.

my CMB is nine. and then my improved trip gives it plus two. And then my, what is it? failsafe or whatever my fury's fall gives it plus my dexterity bonus so nine plus two plus five

We were double buffing you. And... Yeah, D... Shit. Shit! Lost the support mage. At a very deep time.

We did lose the support mage. We lost a good one. We got those golems' AC down minus eight. We negative eighted somebody's AC. So keep that in mind.

Yeah, I can buff you, but I don't think I can debuff like that. That was Ozone's series of tricks.

I was just entangled. I was being staggered or whatever.

So is Donovan...

One more level and I'm getting plane shift, motherfucker. Wait, no, Dimension Door. At the very least, get back to where we came from style.

Or if we hadn't knocked out the guy who knew where everything was, who cataloged everything.

What do you mean? He's still alive.

Yeah, but it's not like...

We can go back and ask him. He's crazy.

We're not going back there. Hey, we ran past monsters to get... I don't remember how we dodged them, but... We ended up... Shit, how did we end up here? I think we just teleported past a bunch of fucking creatures or something.

No, we got knocked out. We got screamed to death. Got put in jail.

Let's not...

Let's not deal with those guys by going back there.

as right now, I think the store itself, those plus... or when it's complete. I forgot all the deets on it, but that's fucking... It's automatically a plus two whatever item you want to make it. And then it's plus three damage to undead. And then when you crit, it's 10 damage to everything around you.

Wait, what was that?

The sword's a natural plus two. It does three damage to undead. And then when you crit something, it does ten damage to everybody around you.

And I swing four times in combat.

I sense betrayal in the air.

Yeah, we didn't want to bore you with all the catch up stuff.

about how you're gonna fucking stab us in the back?

That's ridiculous. Yeah.

Do you guys bust open that secret door?

I'm going to use my gloves of reconnaissance to look through the door for one turn real quick before I actually trigger it.

Seems like you don't need a skill check when you just put your hands up against the wall. You're getting fucked.

Is it just us three up here or is everybody up here?

Everybody's up here. No, you should probably get up here too.

Fuck, get up there.

Yeah, bro.

Jesus, Nutty.

All right, now that you see a shadowy room that is in perfect order. An old cot stands to one side, a tiny blanket made taut and straight. A great table stands with a chair, an inkwell lying carefully in place.

But

Word for word, recite that to the team.

With what you see.

Let's go for it.

Sounds cozy and safe.

I ready in case something blows up.

It does not. Mm-hmm.

I cast mage armor real quick.

And we proceed.

You see lances and swords carefully hung on the walls in there too.

Loot.

All right. See you open the door.

Yup.

Who goes in first?

I agree from before when you said you are not, you should go first, Jake.

I was going to say, it got quiet all of a sudden, and everyone was like, hey, you guys should go first. What?

They all just step back and shit.

Thanks.

You know, down in front.

I mean, you do have two shields, Nadi.

Well, I mean, you guys do the thing where you check for traps and all that stuff?

Yeah. Yeah, we did nutty 100%.

Sess motive.

Lennie, did you say you have...

Can't test me up with another player, then.

No, did you say you have a torch with you? Okay.

I've been kind of carrying this one around.

And you're going in first?

I don't like how you keep saying that.

But you have, but you, right.

You can't have two shields and not go first, bro. I don't know what you think this is. I don't know what the fuck you think this is, bro.

but

Well, you can't have two shields and open a door either.

My two shields prevent me from accessing door handles.

So, Nutty, you go in, but you have a torch.

I put the torch at the floor.

I grabbed the torch. I said, I'm going to take care of it for you now.

Baby right there. Be gentle.

Damn, is this boiled limo seed oil?

Open the door.

Yeah.

the torch in the middle of the room.

That's what Todd would do.

You do, Jake? Do you, Jake?

Alright, you throw the torch in the room, the first thing you notice is a dense blackness that the torch gets swallowed by. As if magical darkness is in this room. you see a small glowing orb of light that you believe to be the torch trying to penetrate magical darkness and not doing a great job at it. I say magical darkness because it is extremely dark. It might not necessarily be magical darkness. You have to detect magic.

Magical. Jarvis. Okay.

Something like, but not necessarily...

But it fucking looks like it.

I detect magic.

Let's just do an intelligence check. We know what darkness is, right? Yeah.

I mean, you guys, it's not your first rodeo.

And it's not that kind of darkness.

So that happens. What do you do?

I would like to detect magic.

It's magic.

You got blind fight, don't you, Jake?

You know?

The more you know.

Jake, don't you got a blind fight?

You know it, baby.

After you. I got it.

I cartwheel into the room and I grabbed the torch.

All right, as you cartwheel into the room towards the torch, you immediately are attacked.

Ha.

Roll me initiative, everybody.

Oh, shit.

with the surprise round being Jake's cartwheel in the attack and then everything else following that.

But you thought you'd find a room that wasn't fucked up?

The one time... Yeah, exactly. That's why I car wheeled in here, baby.

We need to walk in here like a puss.

Also, everyone roll me a perception check.

Jesus.

Yeah, dude.

I got some eyes on him.

low rolling like a bitch.

What do that robot eyes see?

All right, what can you guys see right now?

I'm gone. I'm missing...

Magical Darkness.

Where'd all my friends go?

Can you see the dot?

A pink dot?

Can you see the spectator orb?

Yes. Yes, I can see the difference.

Yeah. Nettie, can you see anything else in here?

you sent me back to the pit where we all fell down at one point.

Yeah.

But now you can only see the spectator orb.

I can see the pit. That's right in front of me.

Yeah, the pit is in front of us as well.

How about now, though?

Well, how come I can't see anyone else?

Yeah, how about now though?

I can't see shit.

Wait, so you're telling me there's a pit right in front of us?

Rich, can you see anything else?

And that's any damn business. You keep your mouth shut.

Jess and I can see the pit. I cannot see myself, but I can see Jess.

How about now, though?

How about now? Can you see anything else?

Entirely blank.

Cool. So inside this room, you see magical motherfucking darkness and a shit ton of it. What you saw before, Rich, when you looked through with your glove, those items are in here, but they've been obscured since then.

Woo ran in.

cartwheeled in.

Cartwheel then. There is a torch in here.

and a bunch of just blackness.

So I technically can't see anything right there, right?

You can't see anything in there.

even though I can.

can't like make magical darkness you're gonna have to use your imagination on this one and pretend you can't see anything okay well the reason is why you don't see who's attacking jake i haven't you can't see him

There's any...

Gotcha, I could do that.

Does anyone have Dispel Magic?

Someone does.

Rich do.

Oh, thank god we didn't use it on the chest.

And someone saved me for something like this. Exactly.

Alright, initiative I got 19 for Jess, 16 for Rich. I got 8 for Jake. I got 14 for Tired.

an initiative from, let's do three, four of you. Okay, cool. Now,

Jake, let's handle your sneakrit attack.

What's your AC?

And do you have blind fight? And can you see in magical darkness?

No, I was lying.

Ha.

Thank you for your honesty.

Now you tumbled it in.

Don't tell the fighter that.

What?

Mm-hmm.

on this dude's character sheet.

Okay.

What is your...

All right, so it was a basic single attack and that is going to be, This against your AC.

Plus... His number is going to be 20.

25.

25 to hit, Jake.

Yeah.

and then that is just a single attack oh no it was a full attack So Claw Bites Sting.

plus that. So two more of these.

Not added together.

20... Seven. And then a critical hit. Can you be critical?

Yeah.

Fuck.

And then this plus its bonus for its sting.

which is 16, 17, 19.

Fail.

Hit, miss.

so 1.24 3d4 plus

This plus 18. Seven plus 18. Claw, bite. Miss.

Sam, 25 damage.

You have no idea what the fuck just hit you.

That's fine. Taking punches from... Other places before.

Jess, what are you doing?

I tell the group it's a free action. There's something in hand, man!

Stalin's got my leg.

Um,

would like to hold my turn.

I'm going to hold my turn until I can see.

Okay. Jake, roll me a will save.

All right, you fail your will save, and you feel... like you are, let me See how this goes. This is strange.

Okay.

Everyone roll me a perception check.

Fail.

That's hilariously bad.

That's really bad. Okay. No one sees where this came from. Jake, you all of a sudden feel like...

Like someone is controlling your mind.

Damn it.

Do I feel like that or am I in control of my mind?

You feel like you're not in control of your mind.

turn yet I have shit I've got a

Yeah, it's your turn, Rich. Jesse, you went to the end of the queue?

Is that what you're saying?

First off, I'm going to cast Dispel Magic on this fucking darkness and use my ability to add... nine to it.

So 33...

33 for what?

to dispel the magical darkness.

Okay, great. 33 dispels the magical darkness. And this is what you see. that is now visible.

This dude who's fucking up Jake.

Right here.

This dude who's chilling in the darkness in the corner.

Fuck that little guy. Fuck that little guy.

Wait, is that Donnie in the corner?

W-W-What?!

Sorry, did we interrupt something here? Were you guys two in the middle of something?

Madrigal Darkness to the South.

It's tough. It's Tossman.

I thought it was already near the door. Apparently not. And then I guess move me to the door. But I don't have control over my guy anymore. So... Can you turn that back on?

Oh, I must have messed it up anyway. You're controlled by nobody right now, right?

I would like control over my guy again. Thank you.

Thank you man. So I think I got this damn fucking tendon autonomy

Todd, what are you doing?

Help a boy out, give this man a clang.

28 to hit or 10 damage.

We need to hit hits and damage damages.

Todd's go.

Jake, what are you doing?

I'm going to move here. So that's 30, right?

So we got to kill Donnie.

Yeah, he just probably dominated my mind.

Maybe?

Maybe that.

I see a little baby there.

What? You're just hiding in the room with the darkness?

Yeah. He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, hey, guys.

Just sitting in the back, you know?

What are you guys doing?

I was born in the darkness, okay?

No, Richie was all out of Dispel's.

All right, Jake, what are you doing?

I'm going to fucking rock this demon in front of me.

I think...

Think you're compelled to attack your party.

Shit.

That's it. What do you want, Dolly? The power of you compels me.

You do tend to carry out that command

It's your turn.

It's your turn, Jake, though.

I mean, I've been compelled a lot of times.

Yeah.

My question is he compelled the moment you cast the spell on him, or is he compelled the moment you give the dominated creature a command through a telepathic link that you establish?

Do I have...

Oh, it's the moment. It breaks third order for sure.

So it operates as dominate person. You can control the actions of any humanoid creature through a telepathic link that you establish with the subject's mind.

Essentially, whatever command you want to telepathically have given him is in effect during Jake's turn on this turn.

You're doing the chance to break it?

You do because it's against your nature. You receive a new saving throw because of that command. The moment you tell him to attack his friends, he gets a saving throw of plus two. And any time that you change, any time that you give him an order that is against his nature... he gets an additional saving throw to break enchantment.

And you can't order him to slit his own throat. So it's not carried out. Self-destructive orders.

Once you have given a dominated creature a command, it continues to attempt to carry out that command to the exclusion of all other activities except those necessary for day-to-day survival.

So once he gives you that command and you fail, he's going to keep carrying it out until he changes the command. And that's the only time you get an additional saving throw.

It's not my call.

You get a plus two. You can get a plus of two.

to will if this is an enchantment right

Okay, I get a plus two.

So now you got a plus four to whatever that is.

Success.

Yeah, we're all in

We got a boy back.

That order was way too harsh for JB. He breaks and he acts because now it's your turn. You can actually leave your turn.

Going right there.

you can also do a single standard action.

You know, he's still got a fuck ton of his holy water in his bag.

Just reach into his own backpack and douse him with this.

You stopped by the quick stop. You bought garlic I saw.

I'm actually going to trip him.

push them.

What's your CMD, Donnie?

A CMD Is this inflated right now?

That's 20.

It's this plus seven.

Damn it.

So 18.

Fail.

Well... All right. Yes, your turn.

Okay.

Because you went to the end of the queue, I believe.

Yeah. What's the deal with Home Dude? The scary guy? What...

Air Latham?

it's a it's a demon it's a locust demon it's it looks like a horse locust with a scorpion stinger and a human face and his front legs have claws i should i should have led with that but totally it's a it's a locust horse demon

Oh, one of those. Yeah.

We have much more to share about the dog in the corner.

What is that?

And are those, like, spells that, like, or, like, does, have I seen it use spells of any kind? Or just...

No, you just saw it claw bite Jake with its horse claw hooves.

It fucked me up in the dark. It fucked me up in the dark, bro.

Well, we didn't see that tick.

And it's horse mouth.

Leroy Jenkins. As I run in, I say... I'm going to try some... maybe it would be abyssal would it be abyssal or under common

When you speak at it.

Would I know with a role?

Is the role in this case would be an action because you're trying to think about it, work through this?

Right. Okay, fine. So as a free action, I'm going to guess that it understands undercommon and Tell it to go fuck itself. Oh shit, I'm moving to rich. I accidentally put my man too close. Is that my entire movement?

So you speak to it in Undercommon's sake. Go fuck yourself in Undercommon.

it responds back in abyssal and it's like i don't i don't understand what you said

Does it seem to understand me?

Ha.

Fuck.

You totally understand. It's abyssal.

What was that?

Hey, I speak of Thistle.

Okay, and then...

You hear him say that too. He's like, I don't understand what you're saying. What's good?

What's good, old dog? What's good with you?

Let's open a dialogue with this combatant.

Maybe we could. Maybe he's just a slave like we all are in this labyrinthine mansion.

you say that in abyssal because like you know maybe he maybe needs to hear that you know we're just a slave in this labyrinth of life

I...

All right, so you talk to it. What else?

and then attack it.

17, Keen. So that's technically... Rapier.

On a katana, which is slashing.

on a katana is it is a katana 17 a critical hit or is that an 18.

I think it's six. I think it's 16.

My critical range because, yes, 15, I thought.

Is it 15? Is it Katana's critical range 18, 19, 20?

Yes, it is 18 and then the Keen doubles it.

Makes me 17.

So this is a critical hit if it can be criticaled.

Yes.

which it can... which it can be. It is not dead.

And that...

Beaming the part of the extra flight cleaner.

Demons are extra planar, so they can be critted with slashing. Okay. Which is times two.

They can. They can be critical hit. So that's a critical hit.

double damage unless you have a more than a times two multiplier but i think it's just time to

Yeah, and my damage is rolled into it on there, so it'd be 14.

And he's flanked, so you could, if you wanted to, sneak attack him.

I do want to.

So you can add sneak attack damage to this?

Yeah. Yeah. Let's see here, sorry, I kind of,

Rogues, baby. At all times, if they're flanked.

I'm looking up because I forgot what my at this level

sneak attack is.

plus 46 or something maybe six

3D6. 3D6. Okay.

Plus 12.

Critical hit, sneak attack, I think...

So that's 14 plus 12, it's 26.

sync I

I'm not sure the crit

Critical hits. If the attack involves other damage like a rogue sneak attack, roll those dice twice as well. Okay, cool. So yeah, double everything. Yep. Absolutely. Yeah, dude. Rogues are great. You just have to be flanking. 19 times 2.

Oh, shit. I was wrong. Okay. It's so crazy. 38.

38 damage. Wham!

all right the rogue critical hits the demon sneak attacks and it is donnie's turn who's the first person in the queue

All right.

OK, I'm going to. use this.

2d6.

Actually,

All right. I summon eight wolves.

What?

Easycast to the spell, that's an attack of opportunity.

What?

What?

He is not casting a spell.

It's a special...

God damn it.

He wants to let me send off a fireball in this room.

We got dog problems.

And let's see.

these creatures arrived.

There's a lot of fucking wolves in this room now, Donnie.

Oh, fuck.

in 2d6 rounds.

Uh-oh.

Oh, that's even scarier.

You got eight rounds to fucking kill Donovan.

in five rounds.

Okay, thank God.

You sure you want to do that then?

Not 100%.

Yeah, dude, you can pick another move, Donnie. You really could.

Five rounds is a lot.

Interesting.

I technically I don't want to know what else he can do.

It's a pleasure.

That's pretty scary.

Do vampires breathe?

I don't think so.

So in theory, we can just knock him out and throw him in one of our bags. Just an empty bag.

Because we don't need to let him breathe until we kill other said vampire.

Weeks from now.

How does this as a standard?

That's just a standard action. So I'm also going to...

Grappling somebody is a standard action, right?

Yep.

So I could cast that and grapple. I'm going to grapple Jake.

off

That's just a D20 plus CMB, right?

No, my character changed overnight. I'm a little unfamiliar still.

Let's just roll it.

25.

You got to beat a 28.

Jesus Christ.

28

I saw him. He has a tube of it in his bag.

I just lube myself up while getting punched by that horse pestilence locust and lube it up every time. Every time I take a punch.

I can't remember which horse rolled in here and hugged me in the fucking mouth. in the darkness.

Getting beat up like I was in the middle of a Tasmanian Devil tornado and shit. You got work.

All right, Donnie. What'd you do? All right. Rich, your turn.

That's all I got. I tried to grapple and I failed.

He was gonna fucking bite me, dude. Did you see this guy trying to bite me?

I just tried to grapple you.

I tried to trip you.

What you doing, Rich?

Huh?

with casting Mage Armor.

I already can't. I already cast mage armor. Is it working?

Have you tried teleport?

Is it working yet?

Over here...

And cast...

Mirror image on Jake.

God damn, it's so fucking awesome.

Do me. Do me now. Do me.

I got buffs. I got buffs for the team. Alright, you have seven other clones now.

Seven. Jesus Christ.

Oh, fuck.

Get him.

All right, Todd, what are you doing?

Jake, you got that betrayer over there? All right. Right where you want him.

I got them.

I will attack the Locust thing.

Full attack.

A 13, a 26, an 18, and a 20 for hits.

Miss, hit, miss. 13 damage.

Todd, you got him over there?

Yeah, I got right where I want him.

Oh, God.

Couldn't do a full round attack on Donnie.

elementally charging at my hands.

Going to go with fire.

Ayaa.

How about a little fire skit crow?

I'll strike.

You headbutt down in the head?

We'll see.

I'm serious. See you, Donnie.

22.

boom hit miss hit

He takes one damage. Are those blows magical, Jake?

You got him over there, Jake?

Those are magical fire damage, right? Does that go...

So 2D6 fire.

Does it count as magic or does it count as fire?

Is that...

Yeah, let's see.

and add it in.

You just got to look up if your fists count as magic damage for when it comes... Because utilities will say these tactics count as magic damage for blah, for DR, damage reduction, whatever. If it says that...

Yes, it's in the stupid, unchanged shit.

I just select a type of energy. Once a choice is made, it can't be changed. I expend 1 point for my Kaipul's swift action to do natural attacks with this energy, causing them to deal 1d6 points of damage of the chosen type. This is damage of the chosen type on Metro.

And it's just the last attack or all of them?

Anything that lands with my fist.

Yeah, so it's all fire damage.

And then as far as...

me that might actually all hit

Because, yeah, it's only DR10 for magic and silver.

Right, so I think that's fine. I just have to look at the ability. It's in like Unchained Monk Fire, whatever it's called.

But I... So magic... Like, you can have magical fire damage. It's like a... It's a yes or no. So I was reading on that. It's like a Boolean value. Like, you can... Fire damage from a spell is both magical damage and fire damage. If it's a magical ability that gives him fire damage, then it's also magic damage. So I have to look at the ability and see if it's a supernatural ability. If it somehow has anything to do with magic, it's also magic. Like...

I think it's Elemental Fury. It's right here, sixth level.

Must select one type energy, acid, coal, electric, or fire. Once the choice is made, it cannot be changed.

to immune his natural attacks with energy, causing them to deal 1d6 points of damage of the chosen type for a number of rounds equal to half the monk's level. A monk must be at least 6th level before selecting this chi power.

No, it's not an article.

It's like, yeah, it's like inner force.

So I'm taking 19 damage on that.

19 damage

Yeah, right? Hit on the first, hit on the last for 11 and 8.

you had a

Yeah, but isn't it four separate attacks?

Two separate attacks.

Oh, it's two separate...

It is four separate attacks and I'm taking, but I don't have flat DR. I just have the DR magic, right? Or do I have a flat DR as well?

and plus cold and electric resistance 10.

It was for DR10 magic and silver.

Yeah, I think that's it. Class Natural Armor improves by plus six.

Model to...

I think. Do I have natural? Temp six, yep.

The error applies to every attack that doesn't bypass it. You take two damage.

You have DR 10 against every attack.

Unless it's magic. or silver.

Less is magic or silver. Okay. Okay, cool.

Your weaknesses are magic and silver.

Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

So I take one damage.

You take two damage. Because the last two attacks hit you, right?

No, the first one and the last one hit me.

Oh, got it. So you take one damage.

I'm staggered.

I get to make a free... Yeah, you're staggered.

by my staggered.

of the headbutt. Staggered.

My combat maneuver is going to be the trip. This plus seven.

Goddamn.

Damn, Jake.

That's not ideal.

Yeah, in fact, you tripped yourself, bro.

I don't think so.

Shut it down. Shut that down.

Well, you don't trip me.

No.

Did you take all that fire and everything? Or... I didn't get to hear the end of that.

He took

I just laugh at you.

He got slightly singed because he took one damage from that.

You didn't do a fireball, right?

Well, then that is Perk.

And it is Jess's turn.

Okay, I am going to spend a high point to make an additional attack at my highest attack bonus, so no negatives on a double attack. And...

one

Another crit? And are we still...

We're still flanked, right?

Critical hit.

Please point.

20 damage.

Hell yeah. 20 damage and then a second attack.

Second attack.

Can you do two sneak attacks in the same round?

think I would get the sneak attack damage on the second one. It's...

So let's see here. Sorry. It is, yeah, just in the ninja chi points, it says that I may spend one to make one additional attack at highest attack bonus. I can only do so when making a full attack.

Got it. And it says here, you can sneak attack restrictions once per turn, not once per round.

Well,

No sneak attack on this one is what you're saying?

Nope, just one quick turn.

another crit, but this time only six damage.

Okay.

And am I able to say something or?

Yeah, talking to the reaction.

Back in some free action, Jess.

I thought so, just making sure. In Abyssal, I say, we don't have to do this. We could work together.

In Abyssal, he says, what are your terms, sneaky bitch?

Why are you hitting me?

No!

stabbing my organs.

We stop fighting each other. You help us. or kill? No. grapple our friend

Kill the vampires.

that dude works for my boss he's super cool you guys

Ha.

your boss, You have a boss.

Wait, no, I'm sorry. Demon's turn, then Donnie's turn.

You know, you had it right. Demon's turn first.

team's turn.

Yeah, I got a boss. Anyway, I need fucking cast a spell. And I want everyone to roll me a DC Fortitude save.

You want that for me too?

Oh, actually, just you, Jess.

It's a touch.

What was the save?

Failure. He casts... Well, you don't know, but I give you a free knowledge arcana check as you start... wrenching over with a, with a, with a sickness.

What's wrong?

Team.

Okay, it's Contagion.

Awesome.

but a contagion gives you a sickness.

But the onset is usually a number of days.

So you don't know what you have.

Fucking sucks.

That's turn

And Donnie. Natural.

Oh!

Going to...

So wait, there's like eight Jakes, isn't there?

Yes.

The onset is in three days, Jeff.

Okay, all right. Let's hope we're not still in this castle in three fucking days.

I swear he's going to hit you in three days.

What?

Yeah.

Ha,

Everyone's got it!

Fucking abilities are these.

Yeah.

Wolves are going to be here in eight weeks.

laughter You're gonna shit yourself in five hours. Like, what? Like, damn. Why is it so direct? Does it start now?

You said I effectively get a plus two to level. Does that apply to caster level?

I'm saying your abilities, if you had a CR... It doesn't apply to the country level of life.

And so saving through

What is my, God, I've forgotten everything.

I'm going to cast... Blindness on Richard.

Remember, Donnie, you were staggered.

Am I staggered?

You failed that, didn't you? You got a natural one.

Yeah, you didn't stagger me.

Yeah, I did it with my head back.

Yeah, you got a natural one, though, didn't you?

Mm-mm. Okay. So, yeah, on the trip attempt, I failed it. But on the headbutt, I still headbutt you.

on the combat maneuver.

No, on the trip. On the free trip.

So what does staggered mean? I can't do anything?

No. Staggered creature may take a single move action or a single standard action each round, but not both, nor can you take full round action. Staggered creature can still take a free, swift, and immediate actions. Creature with non-lethal damage exactly equal to a current hit points gained is the staggered condition.

Perfect. So I cast blindness on Richard.

Dude, okay. The food delivery here is called Suicide of the Gorg. Okay, great. So convenient. Okay.

I'm going to use my ability for the second time today and add 9 to this.

Yeah, whatever.

15.

15.

And that is against.

and I also get

Caster level plus...

I do get bonuses based on being an android, and I think one of them might be...

Let me see. Versus mind effects. No, that wouldn't be it.

11 plus 10, right? It's caster level plus my int plus 10, is that what the saving is?

Does that sound right?

remember Think so?

So that'd be 21 to beat.

Unless somebody's got a fate point for me.

I'm blind.

I think Ozon's the only one that had him.

So we've got to wait for Ozone to come back to break this enchantment.

Alright, Token no longer has vision.

You got to spill magic too.

Can you see your token, Rich, in the blackness?

Well, I'm playing with Jess's token too, so you can't really black out my vision.

Like I'm Jess's screen as well.

I can.

Yeah, but your character's blind as fuck. Just saying now. So, you know.

Well, fuck.

All right, thanks.

And you were going to fireball me.

I know. Going to fire the ball, Donovan.

It's going to fireball us.

Rich, your turn.

I cast Fireball.

right below you.

Nope, right above.

Okay.

Is it a 20-foot radius? Do you know what it is?

25.

Oh yeah, I fucking blasted the whole room.

Is that reflex for half?

Reflex for half. Everybody. Including Mr. Demon.

I did not reflex for half.

And the reflex is 19.

God damn. Fucking damn it.

I fucking tend to reflex, bro.

Oh, yeah. Dean makes it.

So 12 damage to the diamond.

Do all of my

Clones disappear.

Oh, yeah, how does that work?

I'll take damage.

I don't think they do. So you have to target them?

Area effects fields don't do anything to duplicate from mirror image. Only attack rolls that require a d20 to hit affect mirror images. They're illusions, so if a fireball went off, it would just... go kind of through them doesn't yeah

So the one that actually caught fire is Jake. I seen it.

You know where he is?

So is that 33 damage?

Damn, that's true.

He's just so blurry. There's all these mirror images that are like...

Yeah, I know.

All right. So what's everyone's help at?

How much damage was that?

24 if you didn't make your save, 12 if you did.

I have to use my pay point.

I'm at 42.

God damn it. You had a fate point to keep me from going blind and you didn't tell me.

Fuck.

It's blind. You're fine. You're fine. Look at you doing damage.

All right, Jake. what are you at jake now that you took that 12.

God fucking damn it.

down right there is

How much there is? 12? So I'm at six.

What about you, Jess?

23.

Jake Halifut, why are you so low?

He got fucking horse kicked in the mouth, dude. You fucked me up.

If I only hit you once,

He did, but he hit like all three attacks. What am I at? I'm at 13.

What about you, Donnie? What are you at, Donny?

And Rich?

Give him another one, Rich. Blow this fucking room up.

What's your average?

19. 19. 19?

What was that?

And yep. And then you're at 42.

Whole party's thin except Todd.

I can pressure me for fireball. I can nuke this room if you guys want me to. Go for it. Fucking total party kill. Restart the pain.

Yeah, do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Todd, your turn.

Don't. I can't take another one of those.

do it.

We're just blinds and fucking shooting everywhere. Left, right.

I double dog dare you.

Yeah, exactly. This is fucking blind-ass cowboys lighting off rounds in the room.

Did I get him? Did I fucking get him?

Dude, Todd, you might have to fucking, you might have to grab my wrist, dude. This motherfucker's lighting up dynamite.

hot in here.

Your turn.

I've gone over for the old

Charging at my hands with mystical powers this time.

What does that mean?

means they're treated as magical and lethal weapons. They only had to get them registered.

Doing the headbutt as well. Style striking.

Miss hit.

This is against Donny. No damage.

You wanted to trip, Donnie? That plus seven?

You can full attack and trip.

Yeah, style strike with a headbutt. And then Dr. Stagger for one round.

I'm staggered with the trip.

Zach, could pass your CMB, Donnie?

Yeah, it does.

All right, you are staggered. Not tripped, but staggered?

If the trip doesn't trip into prone...

What's that CMD, Donnie?

Yeah, you beat me.

See you tripped.

Does that trip him to prone or trip him to stagger?

I'm tripped.

trips him to prone. So look at my attacks. Attack 1 is the left hook. Attack 2 is the right. Attack 3 is the knee. Attack 4 is the headbutt. And that headbutt gives me a free combat maneuver, which I trip him.

Got it. You are knock-prone, D-Money.

Yes.

going to do that again.

do that again.

I thought you'd shoot off fireballs. I was like, please don't, man. I'm terrified. I was so close to death.

I was trying to get the other mic in the room muted. So anyways, yeah, doing that again means spending a Kai point to attack twice and the first one being sneaky. Hiya!

So nine, 10,

21 times two?

40, yep, 42 damage. And Jess annihilates the demon.

less thing to worry about.

I give Donny the side eye.

what you get for giving me a contagion.

Three days. You'll see what happens. Done. Three days.

Three days, Jess.

in three days.

That's fucked up. The horse is like three. Into the fucking... Like, oh shit.

And then you slit it's throat. Fuck.

Jess, you roll me a fortitude save.

I'm sorry.

You cough a little bit. And it's Donnie's turn.

really suck at Fort Saves.

She's like...

Alright, so I'm prone, so the only thing I can do is stand up.

details.

which provokes a tax of opportunity.

You can, yeah.

I dominate Nettie.

Don't you dare be nice to anyone, darling.

Son of a bitch.

Looks like changing teams.

So, we'll say... Nnedi?

What am I shooting for?

I believe you make it.

Come on, 17.

Is this based on my caster level and all that jazz? I don't know what this is.

I'm not sure, though.

So you're casting a spell, Donnie.

It's not a spell.

Let me see.

Cast, oh shit, as though by a dominant person spell caster level 12th.

I'd definitely...

Definitely dominated there probably.

Yeah, I believe so.

I think that she moved well.

Dominate person spell. Dominate person spell. Master level 12 would have

So that's fifth level spell. What's your...

Int is five modifier.

So DC 20.

Don't make it.

All right. So you are dominated. What command do you give? Telepathically.

Friendship?

Yeah. You are my friend, Nutty. We are homies.

Fatality.

All right. I mean, he didn't need a spell for that. That's a little weird.

I need you to save me.

Oh.

Any subject forced to take actions against its nature receives a new saving throw with a plus two bonus. Does this count as actions against your nature, Nutty?

To attack my teammates?

To stop? To save him.

I asked you to do that. I asked you to save me.

Yeah, very clearly. I have stated to help me not have your teammates.

All right, so what happens if I just go over there and pick Donnie up?

I mean, dude,

have those truth slugs.

of those

I don't know if that's outside your nature to help save him and run away. However you want to play it.

The like slugs that make you tell truths.

Like gloves that make you touch roots.

Well, I mean, what is a compulsion? My character knows not to attack someone, right? So I'm not sure exactly how I would do this. Because Donnie's telling me to save him. But if I attack someone, that would make me get a will save, right?

Yes. So Donnie didn't explicitly tell you to do that. He told you to save him. It doesn't compel you to attack anyone. It compels you to save him without putting yourself in harm's way.

Wouldn't that be against my nature to save someone who's my enemy?

Now you're talking. Give me a will save. It's literally just up to interpretation. Will save plus two.

I mean, am I your enemy?

Because is that why I've...

The fact that you thought that, like your character's thinking that, you're like, I don't know if I should do this, that triggers it.

I mean, at the casting of the spell, definitely...

I mean, it's not going to be a good will save.

Okay, you save him by any means necessary. You're completely dominated. Even if it includes attacking people.

Okay, I'll punch Jake.

Bro.

You're immediately threatening Donnie.

Hey.

I take it.

15 damage.

Jake is down.

It goes down.

Oh, you've got a 1-8 chance of hitting him.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, you got the images.

Oh, yeah.

What do I do that?

Want me to roll a DA for you?

It's one of the images because Max Dice is the real guy.

One last.

Any other attacks or that's it?

It's either punch you, Jake, or fucking beat up the blind fucking mage.

Okay, Jake, your turn.

Panther magical weapons.

Beat the fuck out of them.

Ground and pound.

the style strike, the headbutt

over there.

I think he has minus two to AC for being on the ground.

Yes, he does.

I think so too, I was gonna ask.

And Ty goes to who?

goes to me, man.

Oh, Florida blows. What's tied?

If it's armor, I think you need to get higher to beat the armor.

20.

I think so.

to beat the DR.

I mean, if AC, if your AC is

No. Or the AC. AC is minus two because I'm on the ground.

Oh, if your AC is 20 and he makes 20, he hits.

Well, you're negative two anyway.

So miss hit.

If that was the question.

Miss, hit, one damage.

Wait, so if it's all magical damage, doesn't it...

It's not...

Wait, why is it not?

I looked up the ability. It's because it's a Kai-related ability, and Kai isn't magic.

God.

But what if I abused my hands with magic to bypass magic damage?

And then it does. Is that what you've been doing?

Okay, what's triggering that?

Is that the one you just used or is that the one you're going to use in the future?

That's the one I just used. I used the last turn. I used the last turn.

Then all of it. then all of that is magic damage. I didn't see that ability. then all of it surpasses his damage reduction. Whenever you began using that last turn and this turn,

The last turn didn't count because I hit him with a headbutt and I was going to move the head.

surpasses it.

So then this turn, the 6 and the 11, if they're imbued with magic damage,

The 11 is a headbutt, so the 11 doesn't apply that.

It's any of them. So I can choose the headbutt B6 just as long as it hits.

So the headbutt does count as magic?

Yeah, but it doesn't count as damage.

It doesn't count as damage.

Yeah.

Why?

Because when I'm doing a style strike, I have to say I'm doing it before I fucking do the attack roll. And then I can choose one of my attacks that land as them.

Okay. So...