Transcript

All righty. Well, you guys are on the... I'm pretty sure you...

Everybody was here in the last session. So, You are all on the walls of Godoy, overlooking a city that has just started to take flames. The fire is starting to spread throughout the city. Ozan actually did a pretty solid picture in the chat of what the fuck is happening.

It's just overlooking everything, and all you guys can see from the top of the city is a giant blue orb that went up. It's basically covering the Capitol building and a couple surrounding things inside the forts. It's a

Like a dome of protection.

And yeah, I was trying to think of the word for dome in Spanish. But anyway, so yeah, it's a multi-walled city. So the outer layer has got a wall and the inner layer has got a wall. And inside that inner layer that is covered in a giant blue dome, of electric light

Looks like it's protecting it.

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't look like it. I mean, you all know it is.

because it's like those buildings aren't on fire

to death.

A bomb goes off in the city. Right. Bomb goes off in the city.

Does that sound like in reaction to Pat's spell?

And you and Jess, you are you are correct to blame him.

at auto-triggering defenses.

That's my fault.

They're kind of like that.

Richard helped everybody out. Richard saved y'all asses.

So that's sort of That's what's happening right now. To...

We need to have like a team meeting here, I think, because are we getting out of here or what?

Last I checked, we were camped outside, weren't we?

I mean, we just blew up a city. I think we need to get the hell out.

I'm scared, yeah.

Can't we camp outside and get our spells back?

What?

I don't feel like going to jail for an errant casting.

Transportation options.

see a wagon near about the horse.

You looking at the wizard?

This is where flying carpet would get handy.

Honestly, once we get another couple levels up, we can just make our own. Be half as much. We're almost there.

Yeah, but the fucking carpet race is happening pretty fucking soon.

We're sitting on the wall having this discussion. You know, we can get into the corporate business.

In the burned down husk of a city?

I'm not joining up the carpet business. Ozon's right, man. We got to move on. It's your father's thing.

I'm for it, man. Like, this is a traumatic experience.

I'm not opposed to moving on. I just, I didn't think the carpet race was perfect.

I'm not opposed to getting into the carpet industry.

races here.

I'm more afraid of the repercussions of, you know, just blowing up the fucking city. So I think we need to go to some place where they don't know us.

Hey, no one knew who did that.

That's a...

Yeah, there's hardly got to trace it to us.

I'm going to cast Alter Self.

Let's talk. The magic...

The Max...

Anyone who saw that spell go off is dead.

Right. We did rob this thing. And we're in the news. Our pictures are in the news and the city blew up.

Pat, what you looking like?

are in our party.

Oh man, I want to look like Brock Sampson.

To be fair, a lot of those posters burned away, so there's not as much evidence.

But I bet that's out in other cities. So...

a happy line of people, I think. It's safe to assume.

So it might be difficult to sign up for the race, but... Maybe we could just go and check it out to see if we're famous or not.

I guess we should figure out if we're famous because if we're famous, we're probably pretty famous now for destroying a city.

You know what, Ozan, give me an inside check.

How many more...

and insight.

What was that?

Oh, there's no insight?

Let's see, I mean,

wisdom

perception, I guess that's insight, right? It's just perceiving thoughts instead of

Right. Inside. That's what I meant. Or no, that one.

Perception?

Perception. Actually, everybody roll your perception check, to be honest.

Perception is more outside what you perceive. It's not inside.

I don't actually just read the bones. I don't really pay attention to my surroundings. But I got a second.

a couple bones and a cup I carry with me, Jake, and I'm trying to see what's happening.

What about knowledge nature?

because it's not adding my modifier.

I gotta take a look at the character sheet, because there's gotta be something for that. The intimacy, the into me I see check. You know that you are famous. You have to be. I mean, the shit you did was technically legendary, and you know you're no legend yet. So, somebody's watching. Yeah.

Is that me?

That's what I get from reading the bones.

Yeah.

Cool.

You know your group rocked, but you didn't rock as a unit.

using your common sense.

Right now, you guys see five mages flying in a V. passing over you in a loop over the city wall.

and passing you.

We should go.

As you go? Yeah.

and passing us, like, they don't seem to care.

Right.

Okay. That's cool.

Hat rolled a natural one. Knowledge planes.

where's that, the turbine that was like a knot full of souls anymore. Did we put that back in our backpack? Where is that?

Yeah, I haven't.

Okay, great.

You want to fill it up with some souls? I think there's buttons on it. You give it two souls, it turns to tonic.

I want to roll a knowledge arcana to try, or maybe a knowledge arcana and engineering mixed together. However you want me to do this, Jake. I want to figure out the mechanism for refilling souls or see if I can glean something based on anything I've ever read about constructing equipment like this.

Okay, not a problem. I...

Is this what you're...

I got 18 plus 12 for 30 on knowledge Arcana. And I got a 15 on knowledge engineering.

That's right.

I don't know if it's religious, but I'm going to throw some religion in there too.

you know if you're tossing a little religion some spice hell yeah Put a little bit of hate in that. That's all religion means. It's like, just give me some rules that people made before me that don't really work in the real world. That'll do it.

Basically, I'm trying to see if this thing is like... I just want to know how to put souls in this bitch. It seemed pretty tight when it was charged, and I want that motherfucker recharged.

Okay. No, yeah, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you, little hungry bird.

I think last time he said there's a suck souls button. You just push that, you know?

any soul? Like, or does it need to be like an orphan child soul?

Yeah, like what's the quality of soul on this one? Like old grandpa who's on his deathbed, is that as good as someone who doesn't want to go to the box?

It's

all the same in that yeah

Pat, you just know, pencils down, you just know that...

I don't know.

It is, it's made of material, you know, like you can kind of like tell the material that it's made of, but on that natural one for the planes, you got nothing.

I didn't roll an actual one on planes, did I?

He

Oh, I rolled planes.

I didn't mean to replace it.

Yeah, it was for airplanes, Jake.

Oh, my bad. Pat, just check out the plateaus.

So this is something to do with planes. Interesting. Can I try that?

Jess, since you rolled... Since you rolled... Okay. Okay.

It exists in the other plane as well. This is something that we know about the device. It actually crosses over planes.

No, go ahead.

Jess, since you rolled a natural 20, on knowing the object and what it does, go ahead and give me a planes arcana and engineering check.

Tied.

I think thinking maybe it sucks the souls into another plane or something.

precious them.

30, not a natural 20.

It could be a planes and engineering check as well.

Get rid of the fucking box.

All right, with those, you can feel that right now the device is getting warm.

Oh.

It's heating up. Once the spell is used and it's all done in black, one of the valves on the side of the cylinder is open and there's nothing at the bottom. It's just an empty case.

And like I said, it's starting to get a little hot. Like... Like. Like your coffee at the perfect temperature in the cup to drink and you only have like a couple seconds to drink it, but it's in your hands and you feel like it's like that. Like you can barely tell it's like hotter than the average temperature.

I tell the class. Everything that you just said. Guys. This thing's getting hot. There's a chamber. That appears to be empty. And yeah. Everything you said.

Mm-hmm.

Did we figure out how to fill this thing up?

Is the whole thing still burning down, or did it fill back up with the people that its own spell... Caused to die.

It's not glowing green anymore.

I don't think it's full yet.

That's the salt.

This is also pretty fucking evil.

it's not as evil. It,

I think we need to

Should be a little careful of this one.

Richard, it's like a gun on the table. It's like the gun's not evil. It was made with a purpose. But...

It's made of fucking silver. It's going to be hard to actually break.

Oh, it's true. It's true.

It's got a hardness.

Yeah. Okay.

I won't break it. So, Scrying takes an hour to cast. At some point when we have an hour, I want to check up on old fucking Cadillac Daddy-O.

We should absolutely get out of here before we try to start that process, though.

Yeah, 100%.

Let's walk down. Let's just walk. Let's do this. I start moving.

Walk where?

Yeah, where should we go? The whole town's burnt... maybe outside of town like a tent i got a hammock i'm good

Yeah, I love that. leave the town. Newtown!

I agree.

Jake, we go towards the next town over.

Is there like

Well, there's three. There's Ukendafar, there's Olingad, and then there's Lutathal, which is top.

Loot it all, dude. I'm going to loot it all.

Yeah, it sounds like a gambling city.

Yeah, let's go to Luderall.

It's about a two days march. It's a little north. It's right next to the Pearl Mountains.

That is actually where the magic race is being hit.

We want to be in a public space after what just happened.

We should probably change our clothes and shit.

Yeah.

Yeah. How far away is this?

No way is the next one.

And the stores are all burnt to the ground.

It's about, I want to say, two and a half days March.

That's a road.

Cool, we'll change that camp.

I mean, Godoy is like damn near the capital city. of

well, it's not really a capital city in the place because the place, it's still, it's, you're still on changelings, but you're right outside the troll mountains. Beautiful city.

And it's blowing up because carts are heading in both directions. And that's kind of where traffic's going into. It's like, you know, it's like the mornings. You see everybody cross the bridge and shit because there's events happening. And, you know, Magic Carpet Race is there.

So especially this time of year, everyone's going to go see the death march.

People travel from all around.

Is that the name of the race?

No.

What's that margin?

And Death Barts is, I guess, what happens when Is that true when battalions go together and they know they're going to war and they go through a single formation down a road?

Mmm.

You can get bombed easily and shit.

So march our half passes down for a day and then set a camp.

Me

I think so, man.

How long until sunset?

It's nighttime right now. You just hit night. Just sundown.

As we're leaving the town, and we see the road, are there any people who are also leaving the town? Because, like, it just, like, you know?

they're moving out, fire alarm status.

we've got like people and like carriages and like horses and shit, like whatever survived kind of refugeeing.

Yeah, anything the town couldn't put on their backs, dude. This shit is on fire. This is an evacuation of the city. There is nothing planned for that. Once you hit a city with a giant bomb, there is literally no help coming. And there is all evacuations. We have fresh immigrants.

Yeah, when's your city's bomb, guess what? You're automatically a fucking immigrant.

We're joining the immigration line going to loot it all.

Right. Yeah.

Yeah.

we want to do that or do we want to like take a different route go

as ourselves.

No, we should definitely ask the townspeople that we just made homeless. Figure out if

If you take a ride, you're in the immigration line. This is leaving the city. Congratulations, you just made the people who are alive homeless.

We should figure out if they know us, you know, the immigrants, because, you know, we did just make them homeless.

River nearby.

I swap out my plate armor to my robes and I intentionally try to disguise myself, put some dirt on my face so I can slip in.

Okay, we got two disguises and Rich.

Using my sleeve of many garments to change my clothes and to also use my hat of disguise to change my hat. Put on...

using

different mask yeah

Excellent. So is it a mask or is it a hat? That's redundant and shit.

All of the things. Well, it turns into all of the things. It turns my hat into

Like a helmet...

It can turn into a helmet. I don't think it provides any actual protection, but for aesthetic purposes, it can.

I was going to say, I was like, I was like, cause there's two things, you know, there's, it's the poor man's disguise self, which would be changing your hat and clothes. Because you don't really change your nose or your facial features.

just disguise self and I since I had my face covered the whole time I can choose to do what I want with my face at this point so yes I turn it into a helmet

I was going to say, I was like, one of the best disguises is disguise self and just taking off all your clothes. You're obviously not that motherfucker, you know?

Gonna pull my winter cloak sort of hood over my face. So you just can't see my face unless I look up at you. But I'm also gonna vote for like not going with the crowd and just being laying low. Here's one vote for that.

Okay, well, as the pack's walking, everybody's kind of doing that in the march. They're only together in the larger sense. It's just a bunch of little cliques together, like walking together. Talking what they can. Some are in families. Some are in guilds.

bankers crying because their money melted.

We lost our bar.

Jake, is there a river nearby?

Jake is there.

I'm gonna say yes, there is. Give me a role, your knowledge local.

Yeah, you know it's on your east a little bit, coming down from the mountain.

There was a river close.

I suggest, does the river go where we're going?

Yeah, you're going... upstream, technically.

Okay, I suggest that we ride in style with my handy dandy boat.

I have a boat.

We have a fucking boat.

Yeah.

You say you have a folding boat?

You're traveling upstream because the mountains are there. Mountains are up top. So if you were to get in the boat, you'd be traveling upstream.

And that river, yeah, perfect.

You know how to sail it, right?

What do we do?

Is it a sailboat or a rowboat? Oh, oars. No, it has oars. Five set of oars.

Is it like a robot? Does it have like sails? Can you go on there?

This almost sounds like a bit much. So the box unfolds itself rapidly to form a boat 10 feet long, 4 feet wide. If I say a second word, it becomes like a naval ship, but we're not doing that, probably. It says in its smaller form, it has one pair of oars, an anchor, a mast, and a sail.

Let's do it. Let's do it.

So wind matters as far as the feasibility of all of this, but maybe we can just walk.

Large farm boat. Let's go. I'll be on the oars. I got strength.

The ship carries 15 with ease.

Yeah, but that's the ship, which is 24 feet long, eight feet wide and six feet deep. So if the river is any shallower than six feet, we're going to like run aground.

No, this must be a major river. It's a huge city.

We know that, though, so I don't want to ruin my foldable boat.

The river is pretty big because the lake is pretty huge. And that's just that I'd say you guys are traveling the main river. So the main route from where the snow melts off the mountains into it. They had a pretty healthy good snow this year. And so the river mouth is wide, but it is fast.

I'm looking at the people on the road and I'm trying to find any kind of wizard that I can see or a group of mages or anything. Basically, I'm trying to find someone I can buy a spell from. Maybe they're a refugee who has their book with them because there's a neat spell that would help us in this situation.

I don't see anything like that.

Is there like a spell stand nearby?

Well, just someone who looks like a wizard.

Yeah, you see just basically a cart with a bunch of urns in it, and they're all neatly stacked. And then you just see a kid on the back with a little crumpled up long hat. And he's using his staff and he's like, It's glowing purple at the tip and he's pointing it on the ground. It's glowing while the horse cart's being pulled.

A kid?

Yeah, about like 15, 16.

Okay, well, maybe. I go over there and ask me

Roll me knowledge arcana.

24.

Yeah, he's using a guide spell to track

So anyone who's out of the city, he can just, they'll know the path.

All right, well, I roll up and I ask him if he will be willing to sell me a spell.

He's like, hey, mister.

Hey little guy. You happen to sell spells?

I mean, I don't really know how to sell spells. You want to copy them off my book or something? Because I don't get my tone to anybody.

Yeah, man. That's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a spell called skeleton crew. So I'm gonna skeleton crew to like man a ship. That's what I'm looking for. You got that shit?

I don't know about that. It's a little bit of a prayer grave. What did you want again?

Skeleton Crew. You happen to have learned that one on your travels, little guy?

He's like, Dad, and he's just dancing in front. He's like, do you have skeleton crew? And he's like, are you talking to fucking people back there? Boy, I told you, keep your goddamn mouth shut and crack our position.

I'm just curious, would you be willing to sell me a spell if you got that one? I know you guys are busy. I just, I can just copy it over.

You got a spell called repair my fucking house?

I mean, not really, but, you know, thoughts and prayers and stuff, I've got those, and we're all going to the same place. Like,

He's like, boy, take the reins. Then they switch places. He's like, I'm fucking sorry about that. I didn't mean to lash at you. You're probably just like us, too. Where are my manners? I'm good.

Yeah, man, we're all victims on this shitty fucking day.

My name is Gustav. He reaches out his hand.

It sucks.

I've got a start.

He's like, so... You want a spell called Skeleton Crew?

Yeah. You got that?

Are you a wizard?

Yeah.

He's like, Wizards are all the same. If I had a spell called Skeleton Crew, do you think my boy would be out here? Tracks of spells and shit. You think anybody else would be having spells on their back? We'd be using that spell to get our ass to another city.

So that's a no?

Sorry, I was being a dickhole again. My bad. I told my wife I'd be a better man. So that's it. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. That's a no. That's a no. I'm sorry. Maybe they got some... Apparently the first ones out of the city were some of the storekeepers and some merchants most likely coming back. If you had a head of the group, there should be some people probably coming in that could have something like that, but not us.

All right. Thanks for nothing.

Yeah, well, go fuck yourself. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry.

No, go back to the group.

Well, you know, we also have our bodies to throw at the problem.

And I think we have enough to man the ship.

How many we got?

What do we got?

You got six here, eight in total, because Jess and, I mean, Jess, Aisling and Donnie are here but not here.

six

They're little floating arms.

We've got people to main it, right?

As far as I know, technically, if you have more than two people, you can man a vote.

We can always just knock out and rest and regain our spells on the belt first. Then we can try. Or we can just try through the night.

I don't think resting would be a bad idea, though.

Yeah, is there, like, a tree line or something to block the wind? Like, is there a forest we can maybe shelter, camp in? Okay.

Can we go to the river, find a secluded place to camp for the night, and then in the morning get up and use the boat to go to where we're going to go? Jake?

I'm going to say...

so you can just pop the boat open and then we just...

That's fine with me.

I actually have a spell for this.

Just pop.

We do that.

Up the boat open and fucking anchor that bitch, dude. You got a cabin in that shit.

There's a cabin in it.

Right. You don't need a, you really don't need tense when you can just be like, boat appear. And then it appears and you're like, yeah.

You can.

The ship version has a cabin.

I mean, are you asking for its summoning word?

morning, I'll cast this on the boat. It lasts an hour level. We'll fly there.

I don't have it right now. I have to prepare my spells.

What's the command word? Yahtzee.

The summoning word is boat.

What's your boat look like?

I mean, are we summoning a ship or a boat?

Yeah, man. Ship says it holds 15 with ease.

All right. Well, let's get into Nessie's cabin then. Cozy up for tonight, right?

Yeah, we need to bring the rest.

It's right in the middle of the road.

Nah, man. Are you kidding me?

So there's basically a there's a small tree line on a couple sides.

No.

Yeah, Jake, that's what we do.

We find the nearest officer.

I mean, we could just put that bitch in the water and throw the anchor down.

Oh, no. Oh, hell yeah. I can set up a tiny hut. How big is the tiny hut? 20 foot radius.

Is it as big as a 15-person fucking boat? Like a ship?

I mean, let's take the boat onto the river.

Now,

So we get the boat, throw it in the water, rest up for the night.

Yes, yeah.

about drift.

has an anchor.

Not with an anchor.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a riverbed. So it's like, even if you do drift, it's going to catch something.

Jess, what's your character? What race or what thing it is? Is it? Is it human?

What thing am I? I appear human-ish. I'm a changeling. Not a doppelganger, but a changeling.

Yeah, Jess, what do you people look like?

Yeah, do you look like a sailor?

changelings, I mean, my understanding is that they look pretty human unless you like look at them askance.

Yeah, we're the children of witches, well, hags, really, and people, humans. So we look human-ish.

And you've used this boat before?

Tons of times.

See, yeah, it'll be fine. We just sleep on the boat.

Are you challenging me?

Kind of sounds like it.

Think I'd lie?

Put us all in peril.

saying i'm not telling rich this isn't the first time we're doing this you know just gonna go sleep on the boat

No, man, we're safe.

Sleeping on the boat.

Sleep on a boat. Boat nap.

hey can we do a boat nap an eight hour boat nap please

Is anyone going to keep watch?

Yeah, let's take 12 hours to do the egg thing. I don't know what the calculation is, but 12 hours seems enough, right?

Yeah, I'll keep watching.

Yeah, we walk down to the river, and then we take about 12 hours to all rest.

Does anyone want me to craft stuff for them?

Oh.

Oh, you're not. Oh, wait. You don't need sleep, right?

All right, can we just take eight hours to rest then? You look at it and, you know. What are you crafting?

Oh, that's if you guys need anything crafted, like...

I don't know. What do you know how to craft?

the magical wonders items.

I can do up to four Cloaks of Resistance level one at a night. But, you know, I have no money, so you'll have to pay for it, and then I make it for you.

oh hey speaking of money what do we get from the whole endeavor with cadillac right falling asleep

It was $1,500 each.

a piece.

It was every penny he had on him.

Okay, I do borrow that mirror, and if we could do nine hours of rest, that'd be tight, because I'm going to use my scry spell I prepared before I switch my spells out. And I'm going to scry on old Mr. Cadillac.

All right.

So scrying takes an hour to cast, lasts seven minutes.

I use a pool of water and a silver mirror, and I observe a creature at any distance. If the subject succeeds on a will save, it fails. The difficulty of the save depends on how well your knowledge of the subject and what your sort of physical connection, if any, is it. If the subject's not going to have a plan, it gets a plus five. If it fails, you can see in here the subject and its surroundings. approximately 10 feet in all directions subject if the subject moves sensor follows 150 feet as with all divination spells it has my full visual acuity blah okay

You can cast some spells through it. So essentially a DC 20 will save.

Yeah, you get it. He's got a high will too.

look into the fucking pool of water and I'm looking at fucking

Fucking Cadillac. What do I see?

Cadillacs at home.

You, I, I'm going to say you don't see through his eyes, right?

No. Basically, it's like a sensor that follows them, and it gives you the ability to see, the ability to...

I think it's here too. Or is it just seeing...

Yeah, you threw a spell on chat. That's right.

Pages.

I'm going to say you fought him in combat.

you can see a particular creature you see and hear.

You fought him in combat, so you know him pretty well. So I'm going to give you a little bubble around him.

You see him getting up out of bed. He's got a naked lady next to him. He gets up out of bed and he's got just the most ridiculous pajamas. Like we're talking classic, like just pajamas with a long hat. And some slivers. And he's going and he's like, and he's writing down in his journal for the shit to do the next day. You see him writing his manifesto. You see him...

Just doing a couple entries like check-in with all the mages who went out on the on the rescue mission plans for rebuilding the city and burning through the rubble plans for doing triple checkups on the king plans for ostracizing any changelings that were in the city and re-vetting basically people who are in the bubble because it seems like a great time for him personally to

Now that basically the majority of your changes are killed, it gives them the better sense of finding out which ones are inside of the king's trusted men. Technically, he's taking his personal notes. He's like, it's going to be a good day for me.

Okay.

Cadillac himself wasn't a changeling, correct?

Doesn't look like a changeling at all, man.

I don't think so.

I keep watching them for the seven minutes. I relay all this information to the party. And I just kind of keep my eye out for the duration of the spell of anything that seems important. And then I also kind of take a gander at that one lady and kind of see what she looks like.

You see, yeah, she immediately gets up and like puts her arms around him. She's like, come back to bed, baby. He's like, I just can't do it. Sidney was just attacked. I can't go back to bed. I should be out there with them. She's like, he told you took the days off so you could be with us and the kids. He's like, well, our family's in fucking danger. Get off me, woman. You know, he does that shit. Last but not hard.

You're happy, bitch. Amazing.

He clicked this up. He knew it was coming. All right. That's it, man. And I let it close when it closes. But I do watch the full seven minutes in case something interesting happens. And if they start fucking, I continue to scry.

You just see that lady open up her legs. You go, get your midnight snack on.

And then the feed ends. No, it's his blurry channel now.

I'm looking in the bowl of water and I'm like, nice. Y'all want to check what you have?

Cadillac's over there dicking down, dude.

I turn off the TV.

That's actually so cool. You rub the water to break up the signal.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's enough of that. Scrub it out with your foot.

Anybody doing anything else on this magical night? We just do it. We just hit in a solid eight.

Richard is awake for this whole time. What does one do? What does one robot do with purpose as it sits alone on these lonely nights while the humans are sleeping?

I'm gonna take that mirror back and smash it. Now...

Usually that craps.

Yo, I'd love a sleeve of

Hang out with the night creatures. There's a lot in this universe.

I would love a sleeves of many garments if you could craft me one, Rich.

Absolutely.

give you give you 100 gold that's the cost right Do you charge for your services?

I do not. Well, not for party members, at least.

I think when

I'll take one also if you've got the time.

You can make hell of those in a night, can't you?

I want to say five? No, four.

Fuck, man. Let's fucking... I give you fucking all the... How much does it cost to have a full set for the crew? We need that shit.

leaves for everybody.

Everyone needs to be able to change clothes instantly.

I like how race is like, I don't charge you to make it, but it costs money.

fucking disguises

Well, it's $100 a piece.

Let me check.

and you can make them all night.

Well, yeah, see what happened last time. This guy might be needed.

What is the...

guess I can make up to eight.

And you already have one, right?

Yes, so I only need to make seven.

Sweet. I give you 700 gold. I give you 600 gold because Connor's putting up for his own.

Yeah, I'll definitely take one.

I'll give you 100.

I do have to roll the crafting so there's a chance I can botch on these.

Everyone give this man a hundred gold.

I came 100.

Wait, I thought you were buying it for us.

Fine, I'll buy it for you. I buy Ozon's.

Appreciate it. God loves you.

How about Jesses?

Who else needs one? Do you want one?

I put up 100.

All right, you put up 100. And Connor, you put up 100, do you want me to buy one?

I'm putting up on it.

All right.

What about Donnie? Let's make him one too.

And Ashleen, put up 100 for her.

I scratched off 500 gold.

One of these is really well made.

Tight.

Is it like... In its natural state, does it have like a special shine to it?

Damn right. Shimmers in the moonlight.

All right.

What's the name of the item?

sleeves of many garments.

The wear of the sleeves can, when she slips them on, choose to transform the appearance of her garments into any other non-magical set of clothing. The new clothes fit you perfectly and are always clean and mended unless specifically designated otherwise.

Damn, those are sick.

That's dope. We can have a team uniform, guys.

Yeah, this is why I threw points into crafting. It's a worthwhile feat.

I mean, now that we're famous, might as well, right?

And then when we get the turbine charged up and we destroy the next town, we can make a gigantic mark in the sky that shows what we are. And then we'll cruise with that as our logo. Infamous.

Yeah, we have to have a calling sign or whatever that call.

Like a sigil.

So you guys are just sleeping on the boat.

All right. Sleeping on the boat. I redid my spells, changed them up for the day.

Then we'll go to the carpet race.

Yeah, we can be like multi-layer famous here. We're in this fucking magic carpet race. We're already pretty well known. Then they find out they were destroying cities too.

We haven't won the carpool race yet.

Oh no, what if we do?

Oh, yeah.

That's why we need a uniform to go into the carpet race

momentarily.

spell did you cast that burned the whole city down pat?

Oh, dude, Copperbeard's mistake.

It's called Sirocco. Sirocco, that's what it's called.

I think like fire bomb. It's basically like kind of like fireball.

It forces you to fall.

Yeah, you have no visitors at night. It goes off without a hitch. You guys are well rested.

on a river that's kicking. I mean, you know, it's pretty fast. I don't know how many knots that is, because it's a dumbass length of speed. So I'm not even going to try to bother you or bore you with that kind of crap. So I'm just going to say it's going about 20 hands. Because that's about the same speed. I measure in cartwheels, so.

Does this bow have a sail?

did I write what kind of magic the folding boat is? I did not.

Casting Bueth Flight on Jess's ship for seven hours.

Five sets of oars, a rudder, an anchor, a deck cabin, and a mast with a square sail.

It gains a fly speed of 40 feet with average maneuverability.

Oh yeah, let's sail this fucking city. Let's just fly the boat there.

It can ascend at half speed and descend at double speed.

Roll me a fly check.

I will.

Fly.

As Pat casts Fly on it, It's in the water. He's like, okay, I got this, guys. It casts flies. And then he just goes, and then the boat just starts shaking. He's like, it's my first time casting out a boat. I got it. I got it. I got it.

I come out a little hot.

Did I forget to pull the anchor?

It's just part of the process here. Part of the process.

I mean, that's really last. I have a little bit of trouble getting this thing to ascend just off of the water. You're not trying to go high.

Can try again. I don't know.

So to a maximum of 10,000 pounds. Holy shit.

I've got a decent fly spiel if you want me to take over.

Yeah, take it over. Can I hand someone over the concentration of a spell?

No way.

Watch over this.

I guess you could if you could share spell with a familiar. So if you're familiar Headfly,

Actually, he does because any cast spells is a fucking sorcerer.

And he casted it.

I would, I'd say that. That's it.

We can't cast this though.

If you share spells if you're familiar, yeah, I think that would fly. So retract what I said earlier.

I can have my familiar control it. Because he's got a flying luck dragon of fucking plus 23.

I pass the reins over to Randy with Cher Spell. I do. I have improved familiar feed.

Do you have shared spells?

There we go.

Alright, he flies this bitch. I don't even have to concentrate. I'll take a nap. Fucking Rated Electragon's got it.

He's like, don't worry, guys, I got you. That's his voice.

Yeah, he's also got this dope-ass breath weapon.

Who are you?

that I'm gonna use real quick. It doesn't really do any damage.

It's pretty tight. I use this euphoria morning breath weapon. It's a euphoric cloud.

Pretty tight. Creatures affected by euphoria are staggered and seconded and immune to fear effects. So I just suck on that a little bit.

All right, so we fly for seven hours at 40 speed. slightly faster than we'd be marching. But as the crow flies towards the town and not with the roads bends, how far are we from the town in a direct shot?

We're sailing.

In a direct shot, you guys are about like 12 hours away.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Fuck you, little mountain town.

Hell yeah.

Well, this fell in the last seven hours, so we'll have to figure something out.

As the crow flies, are we going over like any, like over the mountain or anything like that? Like, anything...

The mountains are to your right. As you guys are flying, you can see just giant fucking huge mountains. The range is, you know, this is, you kind of, you're not going up and through the clouds. You can see the clouds and they just go up into them. I mean, these things are just giant. They don't call them the Troll Mountains for nothing.

How big does the refugee line look? Have they been traveling all night?

Yeah, they've been traveling all night.

You see, I'd say they broke half stayed and camped, and the other half just kept pushing. It's kind of like a... The early refugee gets the spot, I guess is the saying.

Are we gonna, yeah, no shit. Are we gonna arrive before any of the refugees do?

I'm going to say fuck yeah, because you guys have a flying ship.

Good, because I don't want to deal with any of that. You can't come in shit. Oh, man. Oh, fucking tent city. What happened?

Yeah. They're going to talk about building a wall and then they're just not going to do it. And then refugees are going to climb over the wall because it's a fucking wall. And then, you know, fucking idiots.

I ain't paying for that shit.

Let's sail this bitch for seven hours. Land it when shit's about to get ahead.

No. I'm brought. I brought all my castings for in view of flight, so I can do it twice today.

Oh, then let's not even worry about it.

I'll just re-up it. Yeah, just re-up it on the seventh hour.

Yeah, let's just get our ass up there.

But I do it like right at the last second, Jake. So when we start plummeting, I cast it again.

You're pre-casting an hour ahead of time?

Yeah.

Well, no, I actually said something else. I wanted to see if I could, I wanted to let the ship start falling first.

Putter out. Do a slowdown like you're being pulled in a parachute. That shit's fun. Whoa.

Guess who carries QuickCast?

So we'll have two additional hours of flight when we get there in 12 hours, unless we want to stop somewhere for a picnic for an hour.

Or whatever.

What does the new city look like as we approach it?

And are you guys...

As you approach

This is the city that's unseen. You guys really haven't seen it before.

laduriel the you it's just massive these buildings are

So from a distance, You see,

The city's very well made. You can basically see it from up top. It's kind of got this Manhattan look to it, where it's in a giant rectangle, and then a smaller rectangle right next to it that's on the mountain face. And that's where the tallest spires are. and the capital like you can clearly tell that this city is massive

And there's spires in their churches and everything that goes up tower-like is very sharp and clean. And then all the other buildings look very square rectangular, very well put together. As you appear closer to the city, you kind of get the vibe that Since this is just such a giant hub, a multicultural pot, all of the buildings kind of look reminiscent from your home. It was made with elvish, dwarven, human, gnome, or craftsmanship. Everybody pitched in, put together to make these houses look great, and they used all of their benefits. of skilled craft and we'd like to do it. So you kind of have that vibe. Like it's kind of like the welcoming city and there are so many people that live in it. Their food must be fucking great.

Land this boat. Get some food.

Is there anywhere

Well, it's a different word to collapse it. Boat turns it into a boat, ship turns it into a ship, and then there's the closing, turn it back into a box word, which is box.

which you didn't say.

Which is box.

I did not say it out loud as a character.

Should we, where do you guys want to land this? Do we want to like pick a spire and enter through the top? Or you want to like go to town square or park outside the town or come up kind of sneakily or what's the vibe?

I'll figure that, you know, all the rich, powerful people are going to be in the tallest spires. So I say we're going to that way. Got to rub elbows with the rich folk.

I say we enter like normal people so we don't like immediately gain attention. But that's just my...

Are we raising the boat in the magic carpet race?

I don't think it'll be fast enough, will it?

I don't know. I think they all go 40, but some of them probably go way faster.

I know, but also we have a sale on ours and we can create ways to get some wind behind us.

But also I'm down to land at the front of

Until we steal someone else's carpet.

you guys want to land.

Yo, let's just go on the regular way.

It's pull up outside of town.

Pat, roll me a knowledge arcana and craft check.

I'm going to say craft rug.

I can roll a knowledge arcana.

I can roll a craft, just a generic craft check if you like.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

I have clothing.

put craft rug on here. and lower it.

I'm going to say automatically you know – that Magic rugs. are just inherently just faster than your imbued with fight spell.

Yeah, I kind of. Yeah, I believe that.

People who craft their rugs and really take care of it, it's its own community. Those guys are trying to shave off points of seconds during the racetrack.

The shotgun I brought on my lawnmower is going to help me get into that Lambo.

He's damn right.

Sloan said he wins the race because the tortoise had a shotgun. I'll never tell you that last part.

I hop off the boat.

And you fall to your death. I don't know why you did that. That was silly.

and landed outside the city.

So you landed outside the city.

It's the outside. So the city. So, like I said, the city is it's on the mountain face. So.

the city under it, it's in a giant oval. So yeah, so just half of an oval. And that back is against to the giant wall that goes up. And the wall has a little bit of a waterfall on it. And it just, you know, a couple like niche stairs going up. Very hard, very difficult, very straight up. Just adorned with all these crazy things. And then on top of it is the next level. It's like basically like... Every single day, unfortunately, people living in the city can see classism because it's right there.

And so you'd be outside of the city.

Yeah, it's in the back side, so closest to the...

Okay, so you guys just going to stroll in?

Pock it up the boat.

How does it fold up or how does it go back into its casing and do its housing?

Kind of almost like in a, like the wall in Diagon Alley, like where the cobbles start uncobbling, but with the ship planks. And then it becomes a box.

Yeah. And then it's a box and I put up my little handy haversack and yeah, there was never a boat here. What boat?

All right. So the first the first wall of the city. is The main gate's out in front. I'm going to say you guys are stuck next to the water. The river runs through the city. On the front side of it. So you guys, since you followed the river, you can see that it's ironed. The wall can encompass it. So there's nothing but bars literally in the middle of the river. So the city has fresh water. I mean... It's awesome. And you guys are just walking around to the front side where the main doors are. And there's a couple guards standing out front and a couple guards on top of the walls. The walls are about, I want to say, 40 foot high. Or 40 feet. And there's just dudes on their posts.

and the immigrants are refugees, excuse me, are... They're going to be about 10 hours or so behind you. Other than that, there's a couple carts at Freddy's going in and out.

There's just chatter all going around. It's pretty popular. Maybe like 13, 20 people waiting to get in. There's a little bit of a line.

What are the guards wearing?

They're pretty heavily armored. More Centurion. Only one guy has like a hussar. The head helmet.

Is, are they wearing like, one of those things called that it's like a piece of cloth. It's like a small banner over your armor that has like a logo of your town.

Totally. These are very, yeah, these guards rep their set. They are, they're very proud of this town that,

Was there a symbol of our last town that they also saw those guys that flew over us? Or were they repping the same, like one of their town?

Yes, they did. Yeah. The old town had basically, it was a circle and then two anchors. So just picture like an old sailor's tattoo anchor. It was that and then it was mirrored on top of it. So it was two anchors touching.

do

And that's what you saw in Cadillac.

Do we want to pretend that... Do we want to represent ourselves as people from the last town to skip this fucking line and then get into something or something or other?

I'm asking the group here. This is more of a forgery. Get in the, I don't know.

I mean...

Is it pretty desolate out here, Jake? Like, if we came from elsewhere, would it be weird?

No, not at all. Like I said, like from what you could tell with the buildings, it seems like a very multicultural, multifaceted city.

That's right. I was just wondering if we said we weren't from the other town, they'd be like, you know, what did you come from the woods? You know, like,

It's so, I'm going to say it's like so liberal that like they look down on you for not being liberal. They look down on other cities because like, why haven't you guys gotten together and done all our cool shit because we had multi-people? Like, what are you doing?

Well, what do fam? What do you want to do?

They're like, what do you mean your school's not fucking free? Like, what do you mean you don't have healthcare? You guys are pieces of shit.

That's what we ask these fuckers.

ask these guys where this carpet ride sign up is.

Before we go in, if we say we're from the previous town, we should say that we're fleeing because if we don't mention it, that will be suspicious.

I mean, but we did show up before the refugees. So we could just be like, we have no idea what happened.

Yeah, man. We ain't a part of that.

I alter self before I go in.

What you looking like?

I'm going to look like... Conan O'Brien.

Nice.

Yeah.

Tall, orange, gray hair.

All ginger orange dude.

Yeah, good. Fuck those guys.

There's a fucking, there's a new sheriff in town.

So, Connie, you're going and asking basically the guards out front. There's a little line above you. You're kind of like mingling in with the group. Like I said, a couple of pods, you guys pulled up last. No one's really coming behind you.

Yeah, I heard there's a magic carpet race here, and we need to get our asses signed up.

All right. You guys pull up. Everyone kind of shuffles in. You guys pull up and you say that to the one of the guards. He's like, yeah, sure. Excellent. I just need you guys have any documentation of where you're coming from. Are you guys just here to go and see the car race or sign up for the car race? He's like, I'm going to have you. He's like, he's like, do you have any? Do you have any?

Yes, I know.

dangerous magical items or crazy batteries that you're bringing into the city

Not at all.

Not at all? Okay. He's like, each one of you guys, I need your signature. He hands you this glowing pen. He's like, if you guys just sign right here on this docket, everybody, please.

Knowledge Arcana on that thing. Innocence Vibs, please.

Roman Sans Vots.

Since Vibes. Since Vibes.

Is this guy by himself?

No. He's got his, he's got his whole crew with him. Like,

He's got a soul crew.

Yeah, well, these are this like, yeah, they're stationed there. So like, this is the, you know, front lines for any sort of city. In or out, this is one of the four holes. There's another one on the other side. These guards are here stacked. And they're, you know, they're getting people in and out of the main gate. This is their job. They've always stationed. They, you know, there's

It's their own different sect. They're not like the guards on duty who are on the top of the walls because those guys are patrolmen. These guys are their own sect.

They handle with taking care of anything or anybody coming in food and safety magic. These are way more adept guards and just the standard night guards. These guys have to take, you know, let's just say, fucking people were coming in and they had a bad time or they also have to throw people out, make sure they never come back. The CEDS vibes, Pat, you Literally, no, this guy hates you.

Oh, he fucking hates me. Do I feel unsafe?

I say I forgot something in the cart. I'll be right back.

And I turn around and leave.

Okay. The guard's like, he's like, where's your cart, buddy?

I shall pass.

And I run.

Hold on. This guy...

The guy goes, Benji, watch that fucker. He's like, go after him.

Can I just get his attention for a second?

Pat, you have a guard chasing after you.

Wait, no, Jake, before that happens, can I get the guard's attention with the distraction?

O'Reilly Initiative.

I'm going to say you have role initiative.

What if we ruled diplomacy instead? What if we were just friends?

What if we just explained how fucking horrifying the trauma of that city getting burned down was?

Damn, okay, so I should have just rolled it with it. I guess technically it was something like, Ozan, you do have a turn before this motherfucker. He is, you know, you know that, you know, there's a stutter step you do before kicking into high running gear. This guy is, this guy did that when he was told to go run after Pat.

Yeah, I think I can.

And... What is your distraction?

Tell him that he looks a little lost. And I asked him about what how he ended up here.

He's like, not as lost as this kind of before I knock him the fuck out. And then he

let me hear you applaud blah i'm a ball and i'm talking to this dude to fascinate his ass

Fascinate him. with drawing him into an argument that he didn't really want to get into.

Okay, the guard's fascinating. He's talking to you. What do you say?

I just make sure that he pays attention to me instead of Pat running away until Pat's gone, in which case I just kind of mumble and

He's like, yeah, what's up, man? The lead guard's like, Jesus Christ. He's like, Riggs, go get that fucking guy. And Riggs starts running.

I cast invisibility.

I target him with fascinate as well.

So is that just anybody who can hear you?

I'm a bard. I'm just talking about, I'm just preaching.

Some important things to say.

and I tested his ability. Well, he's so fascinating.

Alright, well, Pat, as you're, like, taking the line, you're just shoving people out of your way, once you get to the back, I'm gonna say, yeah, that's when you fucking go invisible. And drop.

And Ozon's talking to guards and they're just like, yeah, man, dude, start a small business. I fucking get it, dude. Yeah, I'm going to go get a little farm. I'll grab a whole bunch of animals in the area that have died from, or that have like lost their owners through natural disasters. I'm going to create my own little pond. It'd be sweet.

Connor the guard and that lead guard is like, he's like, we're going to have a talk about this after you guys are fucking done. He's like, you guys are going to go to be reprimanded. That's you're just obeying a direct order. He's like, I can't have that in my squad. He's like, everybody back on the wall. And he hands you the pen.

I'm trying to convince this guy that we are peaceful. I'm trying to talk him out of interrogating us.

He's not interrogating you.

one of this gets the wall.

No. He was, he was talking to his guards.

Oh, nice.

Because he told them to go run, and then they just started talking to some dude.

That has inside it. He's like, hey guys, you can talk all the fuck you want once these fuckers get inside on your break time. I don't give a shit. He's like, but right now he's like, you fucking get on that goddamn wall. He's like, oh, God damn. It's hard to find good help these days, right? And he goes, anyway, here. It's like, sign-ins right here.

Yeah, I definitely signed him.

He's like, there's always a runner. You know what I'm saying?

Always one.

And what do you write down?

That's my name.

Some book enforcer.

I don't know.

Jim Jones? Jim Jones?

Is there a wall?

Yes.

I changed my clothes to plain brown clothing using investments. And then I cast fly and I fly over the wall.

Pat Roller, knowledge arcana check.

knowledge arcana

26.

The spell Alarm has been casted. Right when you go over the main gate.

Okay?

Yeah.

That sucks.

Anything else happening?

Is he still invisible? Can't see him.

Connor is walking into the city. Who's next in line?

Once the spell sounds a audible alarm each time a creature enters the warded area.

I'll go.

Jess,

Jesse, you see the guard look up and he goes, huh, all right. He goes, okay.

And then he goes, Riggs. And he just nods towards the door and Riggs takes off inside the city. And then he goes, he looks at Jess and he goes, he's like, he's like, sorry about that. I didn't mean to keep you waiting.

What?

and he goes he's like do you have any magical batteries on you any magical items weapons of destruction

I need to sense vibes on this guy.

Just in case this is at all part of his reaction. I'm a changeling, not a doppelganger. Different thing.

The vibes have been checked.

A lot of charge race stuff going on here. Just like I ain't one of them.

It's just in this world, changelings have their own written language.

But they can only write in things that move a lot, like a waterfall or in the leaves of trees, things that are constantly moving and changing. So,

the guy, the guy at the gate, he seems that he's, his vibes are good. His vibes are just chill. He's a little, you know, what you, what you saw right there was like, Just a known alarm that he got triggered. It's just letting know that there was a breach over the city wall. And it's just another day for him. He's just at his post. He's TSA. He's just making sure, you know, he's just doing his fucking job. That alarm went off. He really wasn't scared because someone else is going to fucking handle it. And, you know, he's, yeah.

I thought he looked at me and was like, oh shit.

Okay. An answer to his questions, then. No. Nothing to claim. Just a normal, everyday person.

He's like, yeah, what are you here for? You just traveling? What you doing?

Just passing through, seeing what there is to see.

I just stare at him.

yeah he's like is there any signed signals or letters of recommendation or like just coming in just trap just traveling for you know it's just a pleasure

No, man, their town isn't that fucking cool. Why the fuck...

Yeah, just visit. Don't plan on staying or anything.

Okay.

Unless I won.

He's like, here, take the pen. Sign right here.

Okay, I write these nuts.

Yeah, fuck yeah. Fuck this fucking clown.

fascist

You said that to him?

Track this.

You want to call him a fucking fascist for doing his job?

No. I'm saying that to Pat, it was not near me.

He was just following orders, Jess.

with your vibe sense, you know that he'd just be like, yeah, I'm a fucking fascist. I love being me. You know, like, whatever. Like, I got worse this morning. Like, whatever. Right.

Another day in God's fascist country.

Another day, another regime.

All right, let's get through.

D's moves on through the doors.

Hey, he's like, ride this way, D's. Mrs. Nuts, excuse me, or Ms. Nuts.

God, I want to identify that pen.

If that's possible, whenever these guys are through.

Next.

It was Dax.

Who else is left? Just me and Rich?

Yeah, I think so.

All right.

I go in. I...

And Nnedi, I think, is Nnedi here?

Yeah, where's Nani?

It was earlier.

I'm here.

All right, I go in, I sign Ben Dover.

You bend over. He looks, pats your ass a couple times, gives you a shakedown. He does that girl humping thing where he just hits you, but he doesn't go into it. He's like, I'm just kidding, man. He's like, any batteries, anything, any magical weapons to declare? Any notes or sigils?

Nope, just the power of God.

He's like, cool.

D'Andros is gone.

He's like, oh shit. He gets out on his knees and starts sucking your dick. No, he's like, no, that's all. He's like, that's all right. He's like, excellent. He's like, more holy men than better. That's what I always say. Not a big believer, but we all came from something, right? I mean, who are we kidding? Here's a pen. Sign your name.

What do you sign?

And over.

Bend over. Oh, I thought you like bent over in front of him.

That's what I said.

Yeah, he likes it, yeah.

first though.

Next.

You signed, Natty?

Go for it.

How big are these walls?

He looks...

About 40 feet high.

Is it like all around the city? Is there a way to fly in or they got like how big like

Are they like regulating...

The wall is 40 feet tall. It's in a circle around the whole and a half circle around the whole entire city, like a moon shape.

Are they regulating people flying in or do they not care? Do they care?

Oh, they don't give a shit, dude. They're just, you know, you know, roll sense fives.

No.

Yes.

All right.

So you start flapping your wings and you just start flying up and going in?

Yeah, but not at the main gate.

I'm not like in line to walk into the city, I just fly in the city.

I don't understand what you're asking me. So are you, do you, do you fly from the outside to the inside of the city or do you, like, you're in line right with them?

No, I'm not in line. I don't get in line to fly across the city. Like, once we park, I just fly into the city. I didn't wait to park. I just fly to the city.

Okay, yeah, then... As you guys are standing in line, you can see... It's a very clear day. You can see...

How high are you flying, Nelly?

I'm a Walder 40.

How far are you from the ground?

Probably

Or the top of the wall, I should say.

70 feet in the air.

As you're approaching the city wall, there's a guard on top of it. He's a little far away from me, about like 200, 400 feet away. He goes, hey, buddy, sign-ins are down there.

All right, and then I apply down there and I sign it.

He's like, thank you.

While that's happening, the main guard looks at you, Rich, and he's kind of puzzled. He's like, are you here alone?

That was weird, wasn't it?

Right.

Well, have a good day. And I walk past.

he's like, he puts his hand on your carapace? He doesn't know what to call it. He's like, he's never seen, he's never seen a, he's like, he's like, where's your, he's like, where's your, where's your, he looks at you. He's like, where's your master? Who owns you?

It's like robot skin. I don't like skin. Oh, I don't...

I'm not a slave, dude. What the fuck?

He's like, I didn't say you were. I just confused. I don't see your lone robots around these parts.

fucking racist, man. The fuck?

I'm not, I'm not trying to be, I'm just ignorant. I'm like, I can change. I just didn't, I just never, I didn't, I've never seen one of you guys alone before.

It's fine. These things happen from time to time. I don't mean to get too stressed out. I'm just going to go find me a bar to help blow off this team. Which direction is the bar, by the way?

He's like, he's like this, he's like, yeah, he's like,

He's like, that's okay. He's like, it's back there. He's like, I got a... He's like, hold on. Let me just... Are you magical?

You need a moment for her to collect yourself. Are you all right?

No, he's like, it's fine. It's just kind of, he's like, you know, when you get stuck saying the same thing, he's like, you know, when you work in a sandwich shop and everybody, and somebody comes to you with like a crazy in order. So you got to like, just, you know, read your brain for a second. He's like, I, he's like, are you magical?

I haven't called a lot of things. I'm a...

No more than the average person, I suppose. Aren't we all? Aren't we all?

Are you powered by any crazy batteries?

Well, I'm an android, so I do have like an internal battery. I think. I don't really know. I've never popped my phone. I don't really know how this works.

Do you have any proofs to declare, Rich?

He's like, yeah, me neither. He's like, are you a weapon of destruction?

I've destroyed many things in my life.

No.

Sorry, I've never been asked that question before.

Peace out.

He pounds on your chest with the back of his finger. He's like, can you open that for me?

I can't actually, that would kill me.

Can you open your chest?

No, I can't. I guess that was a fair question. Right back at you on that one. Okay. Huh.

I get it again when new things, new people.

He's like, can you open your mouth, I guess?

Um,

And he looks inside his mouth and he's like, sign right here, sir. He gives you the pen.

Well, I did my job.

Have a good day.

I signed Findelberg.

I was never given a surname.

And then me and...

Okay, Cher.

Back towards the rest of the people.

Then he flies down.

Are there any good smells?

Oh yeah, there's plenty of them. Lavender is a good one. Cinnamon buns. Bacon. Oddly enough, a beaver fart. A beaver fart smells great.

Sounds like cherries.

Those...

intoxicating. Okay, cool. Just wondering.

I got you.

And out of your necks, he looks at you. He's like, thank you, sir. He's like, yeah, you can't fly over. He's like, sign up to this way. I appreciate you. It's been a hassle today. I didn't want to go grab another one of you fuckers.

Yep, understandable.

No weapons, no batteries for the player? No, you don't have any weapons of destruction on you?

And here you are. What do you sign?

What are Donnie and Ashleen's names?

And Pat McCrotch.

And what was the other name?

I'm a traveling salesman. Okay, Pat, let's start with you.

You just can't. Not stay in trouble, can you? Can you, old Patty?

I don't like signing shit.

He just... I know you don't. It's the run in that attack that got... The self-escalation is just...

You're like, fuck this guy. I start running. I start taking off running in front of the cops. That's what I decided to run.

Wait.

A panic, Jake. But thankfully I looked like Conan O'Brien at the time.

You could have done you could have done fucking anything. You could have said I'm sorry. You could have not flown over the gates of the city.

next to the dudes when they're far enough away from those dickheads. And then I drop. I dropped my alter self and I dropped my invisibility and I changed my clothes to those brown clothes and wired at that point.

What happened?

You do the old gather and shuffle where you're just like, up, put on the clothes and then dump them in a dumpster.

Pretty much.

All right, that's in the front of the city.

It's just buzzing. This city is fucking packed. I want to say like Almost half a million people in it.

This thing is live wire.

Yeah, the Magic Carpet Ride is on the outskirts of the city. That's where the race is. That's where everyone's starting to go and get up. It's going to be in a couple days. The sign-in sheet tent is...

You don't know. He's got in the city.

So like I said, it's just buzzing. There's just nothing but the front tents. There's all merchants. There are pretty big buildings out here. They're all stacked on the top of each other.

Rows and rows. It's like any normal city next to the gates. A high traffic area. When you come and you leave, you buy trinkets. This is where you get all your good stuff. This is where merchants stock up. Basically, like an industry wall leaving out and then going into residential.

And everyone was just coming by and moving. You have a couple people like He's hawking just crazy ass, stupid colorful wares for over, you know, that are obviously overpriced. But if you got the money, you know, you buy something.

I want to find a tavern, the one with the yummiest smells.

one with the other.

Same Zs. Yeah, I mean, that sounds great.

The one that like maybe smells like bacon or like they got a stew going. That's the one.

They're like, man,

We go to the fucking bar.

I'm going to cast knowledge. Do I know with a...

Yeah, it's definitely kind of a tavern.

Let's see what this gets to. Do I know with a 22 if I need to have like a special permit to be able to set up a little a stall overnight like a booth?

Yes, you do.

Now, never mind.

Goddamn fascists.

They're capitalists. It's the same thing.

Seriously.

It's the same thing.

have money for permits, so never mind.

Well, you can, well, with that booth, you can make more money. So you just pay, it seems like a pretty legit system.

Pay the fines.

Yeah. You will. I mean, what you're doing is you're paying money for the city to provide you something that everybody pays for. So and you're out of towners. So if you come in and you pay for that money is going to go to good schools, water filtration.

Oh, money is the thing. So I don't, I can't do that.

Well, if you sign up to be a resident here, I mean, they'd be more than happy to supply you with a couple of good things.

All good.