Transcript

Did I award experience points for last session?

Not that I'm aware of.

I don't think I did.

I just don't remember the details.

I have all the experience stuff written down inside on a notepad.

Okay, so I have on here everyone is 60% until level 9 after last week's hummed

I thought it was 80%.

Yeah, I heard a lot of that too.

You said we were at 60 at the beginning of the session, I thought.

beginning of last session, right? So then you had last session. And now you are you have gained more experience.

So everyone gained 25 experience percentages. You're now at 85% towards the next level. You have 15% to level nine.

Alright.

guys. Just read the inscription on the side of the wall. I'm going to read it again, just so that you know it again. So... to find it here. When you, Enter this area. It is a 20 foot long corridor. It splits into two 20-foot-long corridors 10 feet apart. Both of those corridors end in heavy wooden plank doors with bronze bands. There is writing carved in glowing gold letters in each of the doors. The golden runes are written in the ancient alphabet you have seen throughout this entire pyramid. And they read after Rich reads them. And that's what it says.

Well, we're definitely poking our curiosity button with that. But great and awful and evil feels like a character alignment shift. I don't know how I feel about this door.

Well, you can't throw the pyramid off of a fucking flying bird, so...

We could try though, right? C&D, baby.

Yeah, fuck yeah, you can try. Balance on the cloud, man. DC balance check 60.

60, bro. I've made it.

No, it was 120. It was 120, balance on a cloud. I think...

If it's evil enough, can we kill it instead?

I think DC 60 swim check was swim off a waterfall.

Oh, why would we do that?

Don't forget the legs I'll go to for neutrality.

I'm Lawful evil. So if it's evil enough, it's going to be my homie.

So, I mean...

Amen.

The inscription read, beyond these doors lies the test of the Pharaoh. Turn now from this doom of power and evil from a heartless man. Great and awful is the horror beyond these doors. Yet if you turn away, what lies beyond you shall never know. Yeah, the room is, as all of the other rooms, stone door or stone floors. However, these doors are made of wood with bronze banding. And you can still kind of feel the mist. It's kind of still, after going through the waterfall, it's a very moist environment.

and sacred plain.

Yeah. Yeah, we just had a fight. I mean, yeah, I sent my snake to go play with the goat out in front. I mean... Maybe they're just playing. I mean, I'm playing...

They don't have no bureaucratic decisions or anything like that. They're just over there having fun.

Follow the goat and snake in.

Okay. You are back where you came from.

It's all the code get back here.

You guys doing playing with a goat? Jesus Christ. We're on a mission here.

Grow up.

where we came from.

We got pharaohs and shit to fight, man.

Children, I swear to God.

Quit going around out there.

Okay.

OK, let's do a classic, I kick this door open. You kick that door open.

Okay, ready? On three.

Yeah, check the door first.

Yeah.

Alright, Donnie, this is you and me over here, right?

Jake, too, and a snake.

Okay, I'm over here with... Oh, wait. Shit.

to check the door on the right.

All right. You're checking the door or kicking the door.

I'm kicking the door.

Because Jake just kicked the door. You kick the door, Jake, with a DC 17 strength check, the door does not budge. Bam! Bam!

Check my door for traps.

trapped to my side.

Jack.

And Nutty, you check yours for traps. Yours is not trapped, according to your check.

I looked through the door with my gloves.

I got an 18.

You look through the door that you're in front of with your gloves?

Yes.

Okay, and that is what you see on the inside. Don't move your character around.

You look through and you see what you can kind of hear on the other side of the door. It's a very thick door, but there is water rushing through channels in the floor. You see a staircase. You see another staircase after that and more water rushing. You see another staircase after that and more water rushing. All the way up to what appears to be like a wall of some kind at the end or something. You can't quite tell.

I open the door.

There's waterfalls and channels in there.

old and 18, but I don't think it's going to break that door either.

Nnedi and I choose to use the handle on the door instead of trying to kick it open.

There is no handle on the door. It just looks like a large brass banding where you would push a door open. You'd see a plate on the door. No, there's no handle. It's just a plate. It looks like you push it. However, when you kick it, you realize it's locked. And there is a keyhole.

Kick the door.

Is it a pole door?

Then just

What about on my door, Pat?

Same thing. Exactly, but mirrored.

I go for a running, I get a running start and kick.

Alright, you get a running start and kick, you get a plus two on your strength check for this one.

We got anything to attempt lockpicking?

I Earth glide through.

That's wood.

I earth glide through the floor.

You earth glide through the floor and then up onto the other side?

Yeah. I poked my head up. I poked my head up.

Jake is on the other side.

All right, Jake, your head is poked up through the stone floor. This is what you see. You see torchlight, sloping hall, vast and majestic hall. Don't move around unless you want to move around. But let me know because things might happen and change. So let me know before you move.

I turn my head around and see, looking at the door that I look past, if there's any handle on it.

traps

The water is so loud in here that you feel like you wouldn't be able to even hear anything anyone was saying. It's like torrenting. Water is thundering on both sides of the stairs. Its roar is just enormous. It seems almost insane how you could barely hear the water on the other side, and it is fucking loud on this side.

What about the door? I turn around and look at the door.

The door is the opposite side of the door that you just saw. Wooden door, big brass plate lock.

uh,

Anything to unlock it or is it just one? Is it just the whole story?

Just a keyhole.

Did anyone get a key?

A key from where?

on both sides.

did it did anyone get a key at any point in the last like week in game like when we were traveling did we steal a key from somebody

I stole keys from Raiders.

Check those keys.

I think it was like a ton of cups or something, weren't there?

Maybe.

Maybe.

They had in prison?

I mean, might as well check them. Shit.

take out my tool of many, shit, where is it? The multi-tool.

Pat, I wish to go back under and through the other side of the door. Tell...

That is the first of your three wishes.

You could always

No! No! I was like, oh, fuck.

I've got a dragonfish spine.

If someone wants to attempt to pick the lock on something, but...

I have medium thieves tools, but I think I can get through this with a strength check, man.

really think you could just be you could disable the lock from the stone wall, like you can just reach in and pull it.

being that you can go through the wall but you can't go through the door. So just go inside the wall and unlock it.

from the other side.

That's what I tried, but it's only a housing. It's a brass housing. I could warp metal, though.

And yeah, you can just warp the lock back.

a potion of burrow.

I think I got one of those too.

That feels like so much waste though. Like we're gonna be in a dungeon at some point and need that to get the fuck out.

And that's nice.

You can just drink it and keep it, though.

Pat, I wish to go under the door.

I'll try breaking the lock from this side.

With my fucking mitts.

doing the old captain Kirk.

It looks like the locking mechanism is within the wooden door and within the stonework. You don't see a mechanism out and presenting itself like outside of the structure of the door and the stone in which it is set into.

than Sam Big.

I just hit where the keyhole should be from the opposite side of the door.

with like a fist right on the keyhole.

Yeah, with both of them doing the old double hand.

Want me strength check.

You cave in the structure of the keyhole area and the wood breaks and exposes much of the metal that doesn't deform as much as the wood. And you gain access to it. It looks like the metal part of the lock now is completely loosened and you can actually see it and access it as splinters of wood fall to the stone floor.

Just go to grab and give it a nice little jingle

Roll me a dex check and a strength check.

Okay, you don't really find a way to dexterously maneuver the thing out of there, but as you're pulling on it, you start, more wood cracks, and now you're splintering the wood outward as you pull the locking mechanism.

but it's still in there.

I do a perception check. Behind me.

14, you don't see anything behind you.

The thing's splintering?

I'm going to hit it again.

I'm just going to try to rip up everything around the lock then.

It's going to be a weekend. I'm just going to kick it.

And I'm going to read the inscription.

19.

19, you kick it, and it blasts open.

Woo.

And now you see what he sees. What he sees? The...

keys.

thing over here on the right there pat what's this what's going on over here

You see, slowly leaving his corner, a man made out of clay that sees you and looks at you and starts walking towards you.

God damn it. Clay person.

Jake, how did you not see that?

I cast shield on myself.

The snake's going to go play!

Roll initiative before that shield.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

17 for Rich. We got a 7 for Donnie. We got a 24 for Nutty.

Jake's on a 21.

Put that 21 life on Jake.

Yeah, what's up? I'll be with the big boys. Oh!

Pat rolled a dice for some reason. Oh!

He's going before me.

Okay. And before anyone does anything, including that shield spell, then he goes.

Right. Get in line, bitches. Ahem.

This is a fucking construct, isn't it?

It's a tough talk.

To be fair, I said that before there was a line. I didn't know.

To be fair,

My goat out there, and then I go here.

To be fair.

I'll put my goat there in case Darnia needs to go by.

And then, yeah, that's my move.

You ready in action or is that it?

It's an action semi go out.

Okay. All right, Jake, what are you doing?

I move the snake one two three

And myself.

Okay, and...

Does that turn?

Taren.

through the water.

I moved. Earth gliding takes a

Is that water?

Yeah, I moved over the bridge, man. That's water.

I'm just making sure if there's water or not. Is that like flowing water?

Is there a big current or something that you have to feed?

It's a fast curtain. It's so loud in here. We can't hear each other.

Oh, yeah. If you guys cannot communicate to each other whatsoever at all, there is zero communication in here.

It's so thunderous that unless you're yelling, then you can probably hear it with perception. It is like magically loud. It is fucking, it's like hurting your ears. It's so loud.

And then he should have brushed up on his drow sign language.

I know when to check for traps, that's for damn sure.

Now?

Now though?

Which is...

Go for traps.

Alright. How tall are the ceilings?

It is Rich's turn.

30 feet tall.

I fly up to the... or just below the ceiling and cast... Let's give it a lightning bolt.

She hit it with fire, doesn't Clay harden with fire?

I suppose you're right. I should hit it with a fireball.

Lightning, it's the same.

i'm gonna i am gonna go with a fireball though because i feel like that way at least i can

I can't do a fireball after melee starts going. I can do one of those now.

You'd be hitting me. You better shoot it deep, man.

And you might want to save some of those for the boss fight.

And these are like clay golems. Like their mouths are like, their entire face has, it's almost featureless. Their eyes aren't actually eyeballs. They're just sunken in like finger molds into clay. And they're like walking towards you. And as they open their mouth, it looks like someone stretched latex over their face. And they're like making facial movements. Like, it's just a very non-human clay creature. Looks a little...

Maybe there might be nice sentries in that they're just going to escort us over to the boss.

I don't know why Pet has Rolled Initiative.

Or try to shove us in the water.

This is Pathfinder Lightning, right? This isn't D&D 3.5 Lightning, right?

Yeah, I just didn't know how they're different, though.

D8 3.5 Lightning ricochets

Fucking deadly shit.

I'm glad we're doing Pathfinder Lightning.

They made it to another spell like chain-lighting or some shit.

So yeah, I'm just going to fireball Right there, just right into the wall behind him.

Number 24.

Reflex 20 for half.

where he fails the reflex save and 24 damage. A lightning bolt blasts a hole right through him. Fireball. Okay, so the fireball hits, and that's a 20-foot radius, and you hit it right there. Okay. Blam! And a fucking fireball hits. It's fucking kaboom. Boom.

No, that was a fireball.

like, I think, wham. And then, as it hits, huge concussive blast, just blast this guy forward and just like boom and you see all of the clay start boiling over on like a skin like some of it looks like it like breaks off pieces of him and then like he like kind of like leans back up And like all of the clay that got like mushed on his face just starts reforming and he looks totally fine.

Now, since Jake is an Earth Elemental, is it possible for you to just go inside him and like, Gundam that shit?

Oh, shit.

I can't change my size, but he is clay. That's up to pass.

He's part of the earth. Move through him.

Yeah, he's made of exactly what you can work. Like, go, yeah.

If you can move through dirt, then you can move through him.

Rip out his heart.

Probably doesn't have one.

They don't.

What do you do?

10, 15, 20.

Oh, it's actually, Donnie, it's not your turn. It is their turn, and then it is your turn. My bad.

All right. Okay, so... This dude. Kind of like shambles quickly. Not like a slow shamble, but does shamble. 10, 15, 20, up to you. And this guy shambles, up to you. And one on your left strikes. And the one on your right strikes. What's your armor class, Jake?

19.

Hit.

Damn it.

33 damage.

These guys hurt, guys.

Stop resisting. Just go with him. I'm trying to lead you to the leader.

Donnie, what are you doing?

Gonna walk up to this guy?

I'm going to look at him and call him a bitch.

And sheave your sword.

I'm going to challenge him, and then I'm going to hit him with an Nujutsu strike.

Let's see here. First attack on this. 31 to attack.

Is that the first attack?

There's only going to be one attack. But yeah, 31 to hit.

31. 31 hits.

19 damage plus...

to D6.

These golems, these clay creatures, they start having this weird gurgly noise. It looks like they're trying to speak as they attack and as they're doing stuff. And they're just like, they start saying this weird word. It's like, shvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Given that I still have Comprehend Languages active, what are they saying? Does it make any sense?

Run.

Shebang. Shebang.

God.

I think this is gonna fuck me.

All right, Donnie, slash him? 31? 19?

Yeah, hold on, I still gotta roll some more damage on top of that, trying to find the ability.

third level so first third fifth seven four d six

33 slashing.

Okay, you have 33 slashing damage, and the moment that you cut into it, where you cut, it splits in half, and now there are two where you cut it. It forms another version of itself.

And the new one goes, which Rich understands as shebang.

Blah down. Chop bang, motherfuckers.

Are they like smaller sized?

Nope. Not nearly at all. Nutty.

Where's the extra clay coming from?

It's magic.

I detect magic, guys.

Okay, melee is not going to work.

Matty, where are you going?

boys

I am...

Alright, well, I've got kind of a plan, but it's got to get to my turn first.

I'm going to try and scream something. Should I roll to see if I scream loudly or not?

Yeah, roll to see strength check for Scream against other people's perception checks.

Hey, shouldn't there be constitution?

Yes, it should. Roll the Constitution save for Scream.

Save or just this straight roll from the ability?

Well, constitution isn't really a, yeah. Straight roll from the ability of constitution. Sure. Which.

With Nutty's godlike boom. You can actually roll that again and add to that one more time.

Nat 20.

I want another 20.

One, D.

Yeah, more constitution again.

But still, it's fucking loud. It's insanely loud. It's like booming voice over the thunding, roaring, fucking magical torrent of fucking water you hear Nutty say.

Yeah.

No, baby, try shoving him in the water.

shoving them in the water.

I was thinking the same thing.

But I'm not strength, so I can't really do that.

So, and you said the guys are the same, like the one that got cut in half are the same size as they were?

If people need sneaking and need some biting, I'm your guy. But none of this strength is shit.

I have no strike whatsoever. But yeah, I just sit here and go total defensive because I don't want to have my back to that water.

Your back isn't to the water.

Oh, without your back to the water?

want to go forward and have an option where I can be shut in the river.

Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. All right. Is that turn?

I won't go to Huddled events. I'll just put my goat inside me.

I move to grapple the dude in front of me.

I like going again you would just establish you can go through them you could probably wouldn't can't you just go inside them and jump in

Yeah, I'll go into them and then have them jump off the side. Then we'll both be. No, I'll do that.

I'll do that.

You go inside him, but Pat didn't say anything about you moving him.

pass through him. You can't control the dirt.

I feel like you'd have a real bonus on a CMB to try that, though.

through him? You're going to grapple him by going through him?

Why not?

That doesn't make sense. That's like a ghost trying to grapple you.

Not having any resistance. Yeah.

I just go for the grapple. I just go to shove, man.

All right, roll me CMB versus his CMD.

I don't see a roll, but I heard one.

21.

Really? I haven't seen it on the screen.

Me neither.

It should be 22.

I'll see you.

It's on there.

Did you roll it to yourself?

I don't think so. Nobody else sees it? What about that one?

I don't see it either.

I see that one. All right. 24. That is a 25 or 24. Because I see 24.

25.

It's plus one for size.

Oh, then it just barely works. And you get a hold of him. What do you do to him?

Throw him in the fucking water.

And you fucking throw him in the water. And he goes, whoosh. And just fucking goes and just tumbles like ass over tea kettle through. And he's like, when you can't barely hear it, torrenting water. And then he just dis-fucking-pierces.

I don't know.

I mean, you see him go through the next one and then you see him go through the last one and then he fucking just like, he's just gone.

I'd go with someone else's problem now.

I thought he was going to be like, whoosh. And then like off to the side. Like, fuck that. Right. Five foot snap.

And it is Rich's turn.

It is my snake's turn.

Oh, what's your snake you do?

If he gets too close, he might get hit.

My snakey goes for the bite. Does it obey by the rule of Richard magic law? He is disposable.

You got to roll that constitution to say that.

Talking of here is not a free action. I signed that shit to Richard. I signed it. Give him the old fucking...

Give him the old Navy air pilot signal.

actually I do comprehend languages right now

Sign language counts.

Let me see if we bring up the snakey. His strength, so it's going to be three. So, dude.

Three to hit for the bite.

No, does not hit.

Then it is turn.

All right, Rich.

What are you doing?

I will

fly over here

And use.

I'm going to cast Hydraulic Torrent

right about there

to push them off and essentially i do a bull rush that knocks over creatures or knocks them back. I use my caster level plus my intelligence modifier as a CMB.

This guy takes points of shunt damage if Richard moves him.

So do you need to roll or do I need to roll?

I do.

27.

So I assume

27 against our CMD.

Okay. And then, so that's success. And what does that do? And then what's the width of that?

I call forth a powerful stream of water that batters all creatures and obstacles in its path until it strikes something it cannot push past. Against creatures and movable objects, it acts as a bulrush. You can bulrush creatures of any size, not just one size larger than your own.

And I basically just pushed them until they hit the wall off of the ledge.

All right. Just roll me spellcraft and don't botch. Don't worry, the one.

Fucking boom. They just slam against the back wall and into the drink. Dunk. Whoosh. And they're fucking gone.

you guys do

What about the loot though?

I signed a nutty. I signed a nutty. Thanks for watching the doors.

You don't speak Grouse-Hindling, we should not do.

Not getting away of the water stream and all that kind of stuff.

You should totally heal before we proceed.

I tell Denny, thank you for watching the doors. Look for traps.

Jake, you should totally heal before we proceed.

And what's this little thing on the ground?

Do you go over there, Rich?

I'm flying over it, staying near the ceiling.

The moment you reach this staircase, the moment you put a foot on it, I need a reflex save.

flying

The moment you go on the space above the staircase in this area, I need a reflex save.

Oh, shit.

25. Save for half damage against...

25.

against This wall of fire that instantly appears.

Should have checked for traps.

as it's trapped

He flew over there if I could do anything.

And I need a reflex save for half of this, which is

Reflex save which you made.

Jesus!

25, 6, 7, 8. Or wait, what's half? What's half of 57?

26, yeah.

527 divided by 2. 28.5, so 29.

There's a fucking humongous wall of fire in front of you.

I'm going to check for traps.

trapped.

When you reflex away, you're not in the fire anymore.

Well...

How did you say the flames were?

All the way to the ceiling, all the way into the water.

Can I stick my I want to stick my head through this wall.

Just while we're here. Okay, your head's on the wall.

keep going? Is there anything I just don't want to fall down.

There's just solid wall.

I moved through the solid wall to the other side.

You are on the other side.

All right. Well, I'm going to wait about a minute and a half Before I do anything. So...

Does everyone else wait a minute and a half?

Um...

Look around to see if I can find a way to disable this trap.

So what are those spear things?

There's spears on the ground.

Another thing?

I mean...

I examine this object.

The object on the ground? It is a small rock.

small rock

Oh shit. Detect magic.

The rock. is not magical.

Step on it?

Feels like you're stepping on a rock.

Pick it up.

You have a rock in your hand.

I'm adding it to my chart.

All right, write it down.

There's nothing special about it?

Not a special rock.

But right from gauntlet level, pyramid.

I pull up my Detect Magic Lantern, and I scan these spears in this whole area I'm in to see if anything's magical.

Wall of fire is magical. Spears are not magical. It's hard to see through the wall of fire to detect anything past it because of all the magic emanating from the wall. There's a faint glow of magic coming off of the water. The torches are magical.

That's all you see that's magical.

I reach that torch.

it's about five feet away. If you, like, lean over the water...

I fuck that.

How securely are the torches attached to the wall?

Nutty, fuck that.

Yeah, back there.

On sconces, but it looks like the torches are like laid into a torch holder. Looks like it could be removed from the wall.

Well...

It could be an infinite source of light.

I'll go over there and pull it off the wall.

I'll get that in a minute. I go back up here. I pull out rope.

and fasten it to the door.

And...

Make sure to measure out, I'd like to say... How many is that?

Rich, roll me a wheel save.

shit.

First rope or something? Shit, man.

some fucked up magic fire

Fuck.

He didn't roll the will save, I think.

I just believe it.

24, but I get plus two versus enchantment spells, so maybe 26.

Maybe 26 or 26.

Well, if it's an enchantment spell, I have 26. If it's not, then it's 24.

Yeah, depends on if it's good or bad, Pat. Fuck.

Then it is 24.

Deal. So, 24.

Okay, well, now that sketchy little moment in time occurred...

I measure out about 50 feet of rope from the door and tie myself to the end of it.

and While trying to make sure I don't go too quickly, I jump into the water.

How much rope do you have?

50 feet.

When you jump into the water, it grabs you with an amazing amount of force. And you go, whoom, to hear, whoom.

No shit.

and trying to fly up the whole time.

Wait a minute.

Did my rope not do anything?

Yeah, just roll me a reflex save though.

Depending how much force you're moving with dude, that thing fucking cuts you in half.

Once you wrote me out of...

Well, it was also a trick. i was also trying to just like fly out right at the bottom one

What's your rope man out of?

So 20... That was my silk rope.

And you started here.

or spider silk rope.

You start right here.

Yes.

So 50 feet from the door.

So it's 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 45, 50. Okay. You get to right here. And I'm doing a strength check for the rope.

and the rope snaps. And right when you pass through the fire, you realize the fire is going all the way down into the water. You notice this as you're flying under through the water extremely quickly. And as you go through the water, you realize you are still engulfed in flames inside the water. Also, you don't notice that the water is not steaming and it's not boiling. However, you are passing through the flames. I need you to roll me a saving throw or take... So roll me a will save.

26.

You do not take this damage. Because of what I just messaged you.

And then you go and you just fucking like you rope snaps and you fly through this water and you fly through this water. And all of a sudden you are you are like gone.

And it is dark. It is like pitch black.

I cast dancing lights.

You got your thingy.

And you are tumbling. You are moving. You feel like your body is hitting like a side of like a water channel tunnel, another tunnel, another tunnel. And I'll get back to what's happening to you in a second, Rich.

I cast, I drink my potion. I cast Alchemical Allocation. And then I drink my Burrow Potion. And then I burrow through the wall. I go to the other side.

What's the potion do?

Yeah, you burrow right through it.

right, Donny? You said you did.

I don't know. I don't think I actually do, though.

No, don't burrow until...

He already burrowed. There's a tunnel. There's loose dirt.

I don't think it's how Burrow works. Because we tried doing that when we dug under the whole base.

When you burrow, you leave behind a trail.

like isn't that the whole point of we tried doing that to invade the whole city and we couldn't do it because it doesn't leave a tunnel

I know, but it's not gliding because my Earthglide specifies that I don't move dirt and that I don't leave a trail.

And then you tried burrowing as a monster, and that didn't work. Because burrow doesn't, unless you're sitting there putting up ramparts to make a tunnel, it doesn't make a tunnel. You just go through it.

Magically.

It doesn't magically say you go through the ground and you build a tunnel.

It's to Pat's discretion, man.

Just whatever it says on the thing. I believe...

but Treo collapses behind the target one round after it leaves the area.

So, for future reference, what kind of reflex save would I need to be able to have gotten out of that? Because I had magical flight,

And insanely, yeah.

And I wasn't sure how much more I needed a boost beyond that.

And I took that into account and I saw your reflex save and I know you were flying up and you jumped into the water and you failed the saving throw that was necessary to get out of the water and when it's your turn I will explain to you where you are.

Well, we still don't know the fuck where the fuck we are.

Nothing over here, is there?

You said that tunnel stays open for one minute?

around.

For one round. So six seconds. You can maybe travel with him. I would allow someone with burrow to carry someone with him.

Okay.

But and that would also be limiting because then it would it would limit the amount of space as long as you're not huge.

I will do that then.

No, I'm five foot. I'm a medium creature.

He's just catching mud, dude. Like a fucking, like a dirt bike tire. Yeah.

throw it back at his face.

Yeah, I'll travel through with them.

All right, if he carries you through then it totally functions just fine. It pulls you through.

I pull out my lantern and I check for hidden doors.

Any check for magic?

And the things that you see that are magical over here is this wall is magic.

This giant wall.

I checked that wall. Is there any like a spot where that rock can go?

I hope you can see.

So you're in the water.

As you're tumbling,

Very specific thing that happens if you jump in the water.

Okay, so. You. You tumble through the water. you splash into another area and you tumble through another area. You see a glimpse of light. You're like splashing so fucking fast. And then you, and then you splash into a well, Or you splash into an area that as you look up, you feel slight running water and you see a little bit of light coming from the ceiling area. And...

I'd like to. cast Dancing Lights.

Okay, you cast dancing lights, you are underwater, and you see like a well hole above you.

That's fine.

I go out of the well.

Take a deep breath of water first, because you know, God knows if it's poison out there.

fly up and out of it. Or swim, you know, both.

I gotta make sure that this works just perfectly. So you delete that.

Am I gonna die, Pat?

I don't know. I don't think so.

Alright.

And you go up and you surface with the well. Boom. You see what looks to be a manticore next to you.

The water is running beneath you, but this was where the water stopped a little bit.

interesting i cast invisibility the moment i and i can't the whole screen still blacked out so

So, yeah, I guess I come up and there's a manticore like right next to me or something.

not a manticore he's actually he looks like a lion with wings like a sphinx like winged cat beast and he's just like laying down on the side whipping his tail around and he's like licking his paw slowly and looks over at you and gives you what looks like a toothy grin of a smile

And he says hello.

Hello. How are you?

I'm a little lonely. I haven't seen someone in a long time. What's your name?

I suppose I can tell you I'm the Dread Pirate Bobber. Fishmen of the high seas

Would you like to play a game?

not particularly at the moment i'll be right back and i go underwater

And so it's a riddle, and then you go underwater. I'll give you a prize.

Oh, wait.

would you like to hear my riddle?

are Like, this feels like more of a wager. What kind of costs are there to lose it? Peace.

And he's licking his paw and he says, if you win, I will tell you the answer to one question about this temple. Whatever you'd like to know.

sense motive

He's clearly trying to eat me.

All my sense vibes.

I think I can trust this guy.

He actually seems like he is a lion of his word.

Well, do you want me to help you get free so you can go, like, be a true riddle master and spread your riddles? Because, like, it seems unfair that you're so lonely.

I'd love to be free.

What's your name, sir?

My name is Andrew.

Andrew?

Mm-hmm.

Let me tell you the riddle.

I... sure. Okay.

Those, so he takes a deep breath, says those who live in the east side of Kadum always tell the truth. Those who live on the west side never tell the truth. During the day, both from the east and the west mingle around both sides of the town. It is not possible to tell them apart by appearance. If you get lost in Kadoom, what one question could you ask that would tell you correctly which side of the town you are on?

C'mon dude. I saw that roll a ten

those who live on the east side they always tell the truth and those who live in the west that never do what is the question that you could ask them that would tell you on which side you're on

He looks a little impatient and says, answer me.

I'm gonna think about this for a minute. I go underwater.

And as you go underwater, I need to roll me a reflex save as he tries to bite you.

And he gets a bite off, assuming that he hits your armor class. And then you dive underneath.

23

That would be a...

Miss?

Miss.

And you're underwater.

You see a lion. You see a lion's head. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. All right.

Who was whose turn was it last?

I point my spear down the path, down the river's path.

through this wall right here.

You attempt to. It looks like dirt. It feels like dirt. It looks like stone, I mean. Yet you can't burrow through it.

It seemed like you're magically reflected off of it.

I'm not trying to burrow through the magical part. I'm trying to burrow through the side that's not the magic part.

You're burrowing through which side?

I can highlight which part's magical, right?

You're...

Yeah, you're going through this wall?

I got my lantern, so I'm burrowing through the part that's not magical.

This entire wall is magical. This entire wall is yes.

This entire wall is magical.

So

I'm going to drink my potion of freedom of movement.

and use my lights and I'm just going back the way I came going up the fucking torrent

Fuck this. I'm not suited to fight that guy. So I take as long as it needs, just going up against the torrent.

All right. It's going to take you know, like about a minute. What are you guys doing for the next minute?

I'm checking this stone wall to see if it's got any chips, any kicks in its arm, what kind of stone it's made out of.

Man, what's special about this wall?

That's a nat 20.

Roll that shit again, Drake.

Yeah.

That's a nat 20, Jake.

knowledge of engineering.

D20 and add knowledge of engineering natural 20 this wall should never appear naturally this is not a natural wall at all this doesn't even look real to you

What about the piece of thing that's on the ground? Where did it come from?

This, that looks real. And that looks like, that piece looks like it probably chipped. It's for the same kind of stone that this is made out of. This wall over here. But it is not this. And this wall looks like it is not It looks like it's not even like Stonehenge, which is like stone that doesn't belong here. It looks like... It looks like if aliens were to recreate Stonehenge and they just had to best guess what stone looked like, they did a pretty damn good job, but they got it wrong.

Then it came, it came from their material though. I see what you're coming at. The alien's like, shit, we got to replay Stonehenge because we fucking broke it. But just use this material. It looks okay.

It looks pretty fucking similar than I'm going to be able to tell. And then someone rolls a natural 20 on like archaeology and they're like, this isn't even real. What the fuck is this?

Close my eyes and I try putting my hand through the wall.

Roll me a will save.

and add 10 to it. You disbelieve it. The wall no longer exists for you.

You put your hand right through the wall and you're like, oh, it's not real. Got it.

I let everyone know the wall is not real. And then...

Everyone else who hears you have to yell that shit.

Everyone else who hears you and attempts to disbelieve the wall also gets 10 to their will save against disbelieving it.

Jake still believes in the wall. You're like, nah, I can't be.

Fuck, really?

I'm watching them walk through it.

You're watching them all walk through it. You're like, you try.

I don't know.

You're still skeptical.

It's just stuck on the Earth-Ely shit. Like, no, I should be able to glide through it just like them. How come they're doing it? Who gave them Earth-Ely powers?

It looks like everyone else runs through the wall. And then, Rich, you're swimming back up the fucking waterfall. And you're swimming the opposite direction. And you're actually here.

Well.

I'll take it.

And you're swimming and you go on the stairs or you go keep going out past to where they are.

Keep going out a little bit farther, back to where I was.

All right, you got it. Okay. You got it like here?

I've got freedom of movement. I can go back down around it.

Yeah, wherever you'd like.

Uh,

I make a running charge at the wall and I tell myself I do not believe in the wall. There is no spin.

You get a plus 15.

I know I'm going to fail this.

Don't roll a one. You just, you're like, no, it can't be. And you feel the wall start caving in the side of your face and then you snap right through it. And the wall just completely vanishes.

Into another wall.

Ha.

You made it to the fucking platform nine and three quarters. You're on a hardcore skin.

Yeah! All the words!

Come on down!

well set.

Interesting. Hi guys.

Oh, you made it. We were just about to send in Jake Snake to get you.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad you didn't. That would have... Yeah, it sucks down there.

I bet. I'm going to guess there was three golems and a couple crabs.

Golem like

Yeah, what the fuck was... What did your elf eyes see, Richard?

I don't know.

Fucking cat with wings that was being a dick

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

He seemed like a cool guy. He had riddles and he just wanted friends and then just lashed out at me. No wonder he has no fucking friends.

Then you rolled a seven on your number.

Ha.

Fuck.

either way i will meet you guys on the other side i go down around to the other side of the waterfall.

Looks like a giant snake.

The moment Jake steps on these stairs, everyone pause, from almost the ether, five figures with red eyes appear out of, starting with you, Jake, right in front of the way.

Shit.

Super cool. Oh, duh. All this Nick and the goat. All right, everybody, man on man.

Nega tic. Nega etsa.

NERGUS SCOT!

He's actually a pretty cool guy. Yeah, we're going to go out for coffee later.

Roam Initiative.

Oh fuck.

Yeah.

firms.

Alright, initiative you say?

That's not good.

Roll low, Atza, you son of a bitch.

The first thing I want to do is have him take a swing at me and be like, I don't believe in your punches. And then he fucking just draws me.

He just rocks me. You're like, I'll suck your dick, he thinks about it.

Yeah, bro. This isn't the wall, guys.

Okay, I got from Jake an initiative of 20. From Nutty, I got an initiative of 14. Wow, that's really low, Nutty. Usually I roll pretty high. From... From...

Jab him every time, yeah.

from Donnie you go before Nutty which like damn

That never happens.

And

Okay, and then... Can everyone roll me initiative again for them?

Yeah, I'm going horrible. I just beat my guy.

I got the gnat.

Does he come out as me normally since I'm shape-shifted?

He comes out as you normally, yes.

Call a little fucking weakling.

Ho.

Puny human tick.

And then I still need one more roll. I need Nutty. I got Rich. I got Donnie. I need Jake.

Yeah, for Shadow Jake. Roma hasn't...

Yeah, Shadow Jake rolled that fucking 23. Natural 20.

I don't see you at 23.

I don't either.

Yeah, we don't see nothing. Shit's not showing up, Jake.

That's fucking it.

Yeah, that's not showing up.

Well, then he doesn't have the natural 20. Oh, my fucking God. Are you shitting me?

I don't see anything. Are you rolling to somebody? Or are you...

I also don't see it.

Dude, no, I literally clicked on my, I was like, you wanted to send the result of this roll to turn track from a no valid token was selected. I selected my token and I rolled again.

Oh, no, don't send it to the turn tracker. Just click initiative in your character sheet.

I did. And now it's not

I got two natural 20s in a row. Here goes the third one.

Bullshit. There you go. All right. Got the net one. Perfect. All right. So negative Jake.

Nat 1.

goes last.

So lead the charge, Jake.

I will leave this charge with a flaming sphere grater.

Yeah, so we got to think about...

I'm heading towards this side.

Get her.

a burning globe of fire that rolls in whichever direction i point and then burst burns those it strikes it moves 30 feet per round it is one round per level as part of this movement it can ascend or jump 30 feet to strike its target if it enters the space with the creature it stops moving for the round and deals three point or three d6 points of fire damage at 66 is it's greater to that creature

Do we still have communication props?

I don't believe we have any communication.

Yeah, it's fucking loud as shit in here still.

Does it affect... Spells with verbal components. If you can't hear yourself speak.

No, it does not.

Could you still speak them?

So yeah, so I cast the spell. It stops at Nutty's, but it's still a ball that I can control. And

It doesn't go through Nutty, but it stops at him or on him.

You're nutty or nega nutty?

Nega nutty.

And Reflex, so that's 10 spell level.

And this ball exists. It's rolling around.

Yeah, it exists. It's a molten ball. for

Walk past it and trip.

Or eight rounds, nine rounds.

I'm just going to find a flaming ball you can roll around.

And Nettie's got a Peter Reflex saying,

Is it five foot by five foot?

What's the second?

Five foot diameter. Yeah.

Okay, go ahead and control this ball. Put that where you want to put it.

Okay, reflexive.

Is that what you said?

Yeah. It's going to be...

So he reflects 18 to beat.

All right, Reflex Save 18.

to share a public role.

Oh shit.

That's a 14. Natural one.

That's your old one.

takes full damage and fucking you blast him. You're fucking rock naked nutty.

Neganutty is on fire.

10 takes 20.

Nugget, not of you guys on fire. All right. It takes how much?

24.

Okay. Hey, what's your hit points at? Or at one that's full?

65.

Are we supposed to tell you like how our characters work?

things that they might do.

Yeah, I mean, they are you. They are you in every way that you were you the moment they split off of you.

Yeah, but... Like, my guy can heal 5 points every round for free.

Perfect. Thank you. Did it start this round or does it start next round?

You do that whenever. Well, his turn. His turn, I mean.

Okay, so at the beginning of the next turn, he holds five points.

Okay.

Touch someone and yield five points if he wants to.

Bucsso can heal his five points if he goes unconscious.

Negarich goes, He casts Mage Armor.

Sounds about right.

Uh,

And his AC

Nettie takes two points of damage for being caught on fire.

Oh, shit.

His ASC has what?

It's naturally 15, so it turns to 19.

Okay, that do takes two points of damage for being on fire. And so now your armor is what? Your Negarace's armor?

19.

Okay.

Actually, no, that's what he does.

He does have...

Well...

He does have greater mage armor. as well. It's the same thing but it's plus six instead.

What does that do?

What spells do you have prepared?

My spells repaired.

are Fireball, Lightning Bolt, Greater Mage Armor, Overland Flight. There is an empty spell slot that I can use to cast one spell out of my list spontaneously. And yeah, you'd have to look through it because I've got a bunch of random spells.

Yeah, I didn't know if you had it all set up. Perfect. I'll do that. Anything else? Great image armor, fireball, lightning bolt, overland flight, spontaneous slot.

Detect thoughts, mirror image, invisibility, control on dead, blindness, deafness, enlarge person, floating disk, comprehend languages, shield, grease, dancing lights, drench, detect magic, spark, And I'm forgetting something. Summon monster three.

That's fine. Oh, yeah, never mind. I want that. All right. Got him.

Perfect. Well, then you don't actually have regular mage armor.

Correct. So you have to cast...

If I was going to cast. Okay. Well, actually, he's not going to do that at all.

No.

But he should, he should, he totally should.

Really? You wouldn't?

I'll go back.

You wouldn't, what would you do in this situation, Rich?

Hmm.

Sure.

I'd probably find a way to fly. Honestly, I'd probably get myself fly right away and get the fuck out of combat zone. But there's a lot of variables here.

The question we shouldn't have to answer.

There are, and I think that you're right. I think you cast Fly immediately from what I've experienced with Rich.

Like, that is usually, like, I'm not getting stuck on the ground with you. No, fuck this.

You cast fly and your character moves fucking back and like behind this fist up in the air a little bit to get the partial cover.

Yeah, that makes total sense.

Okay, so that's what your character does. And then he asks for some extra actions. I tell him no. I'm going to go to just talking to him. And then we go to Donnie. So what's his AC right now?

Ha.

13, 14, 15. Okay.

AC.

15.

No, we're good, yeah. Donnie.

10, 15.

actually

That's still regular Jake, right?

Before he does anything crazy...

I'm going to hit the negative Jake here. I'm going to challenge him and hit him with an Ajitsu strike.

Okay.

What's the challenge to again?

That doesn't, it's just, you can't attack anyone else, right? Or you just get like bonuses, right?

I get bonuses and then I have a negative two AC for anybody that I'm not challenged.

Okay, that's fine. So what's your armor class, Jake?

19. 20. 20.

So negajxac is 20. And so that's a...

For my size.

Oh, no, 19. I'm not a golem. Sorry.

He's not yet. All right. 19. And that was one attack or two, Donnie.

It's one attack on the Ajitsu strike, 36 to hit.

So 20 slashing and then slash roll 46.

What's your full HP when you're full, Jake?

51.

28 damage.

You fucking slice the shit out of him.

And it's also a terrifying jujitsu at my level...

Okay, at 5th level, Swords of Saints and G2s are devastates.

All foes within 30 feet must succeed, a will save, DC 10 plus half of my level, plus my charisma modifier. my level what are we we're level eight right so that's 14 plus charisma modifier of ones of 15

Well, DC 10 plus half. Oh, because you're only one level Sword Saint.

No, plus half my saint. I'm 8-level sword saint.

Oh, I thought you were a samurai.

I'm a sword saint, which is a samurai subtype.

So it's 14 plus your charisma off fire makes it 15.

So all these dudes have to roll saving throws? Cool. Can all you guys just roll saving throws for a will save real fast to save me the time?

Yeah.

Include me.

Okay. Thank you. Yep.

Will?

And this will just count as your nega versions.

Will, right?

And then, does it affect Fred and Snakey? I think he probably would, because they're foes.

Yeah, I think so too.

So Fred rolls one and sneaky, 30 feet with them, 30 feet.

10, 15, 20... Yeah, this is everybody.

I'm terrifying people.

Okay. Bill saves are definitely my lowest. So I hope you fucking stuck.

Dude, they're only a four on me, so that was a 15 rule. That one. Yep.

Is that not one again?

Nega you succeeds. Nega Jake fails. Nega Rich fails. And Nega Nutty fails. All right. So Nega...

Negandadi is shaken for one round.

Hold on, I've got to roll a d4 plus 1. Four rounds.

Shaken for four rounds.

So what does Shaken do? I can never remember that.

Shaken for four rounds.

Shake it for four rounds. I don't know, Johnny, what does it do?

I'm pulling it up right now.

Shaken. A shaken character takes a negative two penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks. Shaken is a less severe state of fear...

than frightened or panicked.

So what's the penalty they take?

Negative two penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks.

Next up, anything else for your turn, Donnie?

Uh,

Donnie, or Nutty.

All right, Nettie.

I'm going to cast...

FI and shield.

My guy.

I'm going to...

How do you cast Fly and Shield?

I got an ability to combine a level 3 spell and a level 1 spell.

All right.

Oh, I did, the challenge allows me to deal extra damage equal to my level.

So

Is that already calculated in or did you forget to do that?

No, he takes an extra 8 damage.

All right, that was...

30s.

Minus extra eight. All right. Negative tick is down to pretty low hit points already.

And I'll go right here.

Pat, what's this right here?

That is a very stoic looking man sitting in a chair with a staff and a skull crown. It looks like he hasn't moved in a very long time.

That staff's going to be fucking sweet. I know it.

That's the guy we're saving, right?

No, you guys fucking, you guys slayed a fucking cleric. We could have, we could have had a neg a cleric. We had to fight the shit would have been a lot easier. I'm fucking, I'm holding grudges.

Maybe.

We came inside of the temple to save the guy who's been giving us visions.

Pat, what do I roll to hold a grudge?

That's going to be... Constitution.

To hold a grudge for life is going to be... Fuck, I don't know. What do you think?

Are none of you guys seeing my fucking 20s I'm dropping?

No, we're not.

No, not at all.

That's so fucking bullshit.

in fake 20s.

But yeah, I fly over here and cast shield.

Flyer of Ware and Cast Shield?

I chill.

Rich, what are you doing?

I fly over here and up and I cast blindness on him.

on my negative name.

and it's a fort save of, I believe, let me check.

and then you better succeed.

the moment you cross this threshold right here,

and you fly over there,

And you see come burrowing out of the side of the stonework as you start hearing rumble as stone crumbles away and pours onto the floor. You see what looks to be a golden, a golden finger start crushing through the wall.

Jesus Christ.

You see rocks and tumbling out beside it.

Wait, where? What is this? What?

Jesus fucking Christ, everything just started going wrong. I triggered the next thing by going too far apparently.

God.

So should I just roll my guy's own fork safe?

Yes.

He's gotta be the 19th. This minus two. Natural one. He's blind as fuck.

Blind.

And I believe that would have to be turned unless I can do anything else.

Let's turn.

And then towards the end of your turn, you see as it's continuing to crumble through, you see it looks to be a fist pointing right towards you, Rich, as it comes out of the wall.

Yes.

I don't like the angry God hand.

All right, Naginati.

Naga Ata.

He takes 1d6 of damage.

On his turn or your turn?

On his turn.

Because he took two points of damage additionally... already from that.

For being on fire, you take an additional 1d6 and then 1d6 on your turn.

So he takes four damage, and then he gains five from the fast heal thing. And, Nuddy, did you send me that picture of your good shit?

How's this stuff work? I think he's going to do what you did. He's going to do the combo shield fly. He's going to... Oh man, but you're provoking an attack of opportunity for me. Jake, if you run, do you have a method of avoiding attacks of opportunity?

within

The great five foot step.

are the five foot step.

Could take a five foot step.

Fire as my goat away.

He takes a five foot step right next, he's right next to you. So it's right here.

So that's after the five foot step.

Well, yeah. Goat's 10 feet away right now.

I'm pretty sure that he can recall the goat into his chest. Do you get that five points of healing if the goat's not in your chest, Nutty?

I believe so, yeah.

Do you think your character would do a five foot step combo shield and do the flight just to be here?

For out teamwork and ally who has this feat stuff from taxis for move through squares,

See you.

in your space. So now you still provoke attack of opportunity. Yeah, I'd probably 5 foot step and 5 heal. It's either that or haste shield.

Yeah, Hayes Shield is good too.

You can hay shield or fire shield. Those are the only two I have prepared.

And you have a shit ton of attacks if you were to haste?

Yeah, if you don't move first, whatever. You get three attacks, so it would be four.

then he's going to haste

He's going to haste shield and not attack. And maybe five foot step just to make sure that they have to move to go attack him. Okay, five foot step, haste shield.

NegaNutty does. NegaDonny.

Negadani goes up to regular Donnie and challenges him.

Oh, shit.

Son of a bitch.

And I itch you strikes!

Okay, so you want me to roll that, I'm assuming?

I could, I think I see your, I don't see your attacks in your sheet.

Just click on the katana, it'll roll the attack.

Just go out the attack on the first one. 39 to attack is definitely a hit.

Jesus.

That's a crit.

Who did you crit?

Secret of me.

himself.

Damn.

And is that one attack?

It's only one attack with your Jetsy strike. But it also does an additional 4d6 damage.

An additional what, 46?

And since you're striking the opponent of your challenge, it deals damage equal to your level.

Do I roll that manually?

additional 46 and then damage equal to my level is additional 8 damage So that's, holy shit, how much damage is that? That's a critical hit. So that's 15. What is that?

Slashing with the crit

according to this thing.

with the 18 would be 57. plus the 8 would be

60

It'd kill me.

Oh, fuck!

But I have my

Can you fate point that? Can you fate point to...

I'm not like dead.

He does 65 points of damage to Don Dico down.

Hold on. I got my ability. My samurai ability.

No, you should just point that.

It's worth a face point, dude.

Did you just double crit yourself?

It won't down me.

We'll take him.

I'm just saying it might be worth it to just, you know,

When a samurai is reduced to fewer than zero hit points but not slain, he can spend one use of his resolve as an immediate action to instantly stabilize or remain conscious. He is staggered, but he does not fall unconscious and begin dying. If he takes a standard action, he does fall unconscious if he takes additional damage from any source.

point that because you still get shot by anyone else there

Do you have an invisibility potion, Donnie? Holy shit.

a two-fave point.

I'd point the fucking roll to hit, man.

Yeah, I would just bait point that roll to hit, dude. So that it doesn't turn into a crit. Or even a hit, even.

probably gonna hit me I got pretty

No.

And you crit on 17, 18, 19, or 20.

strike roll to 18 damage that

It's also my fault for not bringing banished summon.

Who goes next?

After this is going to be...

I have a negative two to my AC against this guy too. Okay. That's bad. He's right in front of me.

Nega Jake goes after this.

I guess I'll point the attack roll.

I do.

You fate point the attack roll. You now have one fate point.

It is 31.

And then that 46 and that plus eight still apply? Okay, so it's 14 plus 18 plus 8.

That is $40.

4D, so 25 points less damage.

Also has the minus two to hit and everything for shaking or anything, or do you get past that?

He got past that.

Minus two to hit makes it 29.

That still hits because I have minus two to my AC against him.

What's your hit points when it's full?

57th.

Okay. So 57...

17.

All right.

All right, I'll take that.

Maybe we should just jump in the goddamn water and go fight where the hell Rich was dealing with.

Right? Just fucking fight our chances down south with fucking crazy cat lady.

All right, NegaNutty. Or NegaJake.

Jake, you sent me your abilities on...

Yeah, those are my spells.

Okay. You got Grading Flaming Sphere, Rolling Ball of Fire. That's pretty sweet. Mad Monkeys is pretty dope. Somebody just ally will strike. You know what? This guy's also going to make your Flaming Ball. Where can you summon it?