Transcript

We do have a lot of shit to sell and some shit to buy.

Donnie damn well intertwined himself pretty fucking hardcore with the boat. He put on the helmet and he now is speaking screams to the elementals, so...

Dude, fucking D&D man. You put on the magic item, you speak the magic words, and then... Dude locked in for life. The old ball.

Dude, there's not always a magic word. Okay, let me tell you.

I'm just poking them. It's no big deal.

We should just capture Arrow and Anthos and put him in our ship. Give him somebody to hang out with at least. Misery does love company.

This sucks! I know!

Humans are the worst!

Is it just like him and he exudes all of his power at once or does he go in rotations around the ships? That's how I see it. I see him just going through passive rotations in a circle. Scrape it.

Yeah, he's like spinning in a vortex around.

It's like a fucked up hamster wheel.

Yeah, man, you got it.

I think I'll have a smoke ball away for these blokes. Hey, do you see the, See the ship I found?

Yes, I did. It looks fucking amazing. That's the first thing I saw.

I went to the next closest town. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, and that's where you are.

You guys want to find the most not fleshed out part of Dungeons and Dragons? You start looking up planes. Oh my god. I got eight books and no answers.

Yeah, we got a whole bunch of dragon scales Dragon did it come for Dragon.

Those are going to be from a green dragon.

I can roll the age here.

I actually finally get bonuses to my natural armor when I fucking shapeshift now, which is great.

It took so long.

And Patty, so, I mean, are we intentionally buying all our things, like right now? Because I'm just going to get this crystal ball enchanted with true stain.

Can I make my rolls? Actually, can you make me a character sheet, please?

There's one character shape of ozone coming up.

Bad character. You got a name?

I do. It's Kurt Furbane.

But I could, well, okay, but hold on, hear more about this, because this guy is a bard from Nirvana.

There's a plane called Nirvana.

Cool, I mean maybe we could travel better now.

All right, your sheet's made.

I was just playing, I was playing for real. How did it work?

So,

There's like different, like these are like dimensions where everything is the same except it's a different, just another place? It's connected from the map? I don't know.

So there's a map of them. Kind of. There's a map of the well-known ones.

They have found the notes from a fella who was studying them. You'll see a couple drawings. And the second to last drawing of the pages is called The Great Wheel. And that is sort of a representation of a general layout of how they lay. There are 27 well plotted planes of existence. and there as follows the material plane the material plan is there is what you guys have been playing on for the most part of the game it's what most games ever play on the ethereal plane which is sort of the material plane and the ethereal plane overlap each other so you can transition over to the ethereal plane a lot of spells will put you there it's like a fog laid over the material plane, kind of. It's like you are, it's a parallel universe, but you can see the material plane. Sure. Then there's the plane of shadow.

very similar like the ethereal plane it overlays it but it's like i don't know too much about the plane of shadow i just know that it physically is overlapping the material plane as well but i don't know its properties the astral plane which is in that drawing it's that number four which is kind of like everything is sort of like sitting in that soup it's sort of this not really a void but it's a space that a lot of planes exist within, including planes like the material plane.

And that's huge. It's like some say infinite.

Wait, which one was that?

That's, see in the middle, there's a number four and it's like dark brown.

Okay. So imagine all of the little bubbles, like bubble universes, like sitting inside of a space, like, and that it's called the, that's the astral plane.

What was the name of it? What's the name of that one?

And then there are these

So the asteroid planet is basically everything.

The astral plane is sort of, it's like an air, it's a plane that all of these other bubble dimensions like float around in is my understanding. And I,

Are there planes other than the astral plane?

There are.

There are a whole, there's like 20,

And so then there's these planes called the inner planes, and those are very harsh environmental planes and airplanes of pure raw energy like pure positive energy is one of them. That's number five on this map. There's pure raw negative energy as well. I don't see that on the map, but it does exist. there's the elemental plane of fire elemental plane of earth oh there's a negative energy plane the elemental plane of water and air with the prime elemental planes when you go there it's like the environments are as much that element as they possibly could be but still creatures that get summoned from there like fire elementals and beings of fire and all these things like they get pulled from those planes and so it would Those planes are directly next to and connected to the material, the ethereal, the plane of shadow. Like those, they're right there, right? So those spells will work there. This is like another thing, like those magic is intertwined with these planes in that way. The outer planes are like you are from Nirvana. Nirvana is one of the outer planes. It has a full name. It has a full description. It has traits. It has like their people, places and cities and structures and gods make their homes and things like that. And those are like Celestia. And Celestia has like a full description that I can read out here. Bitopia, Elysium, the Beastlands, Arborea, Yasgard, Limbo, Pandemonium, the Abyss. Carceri, which earlier in the campaign, that dimension was cracked.

So they're just... Is it there?

into the material plane somehow. That was that plane.

I remember the incarcerated prison planet. Yep. Or not planet, but okay. Let me ask you this. The difference between like the things that are transitive planes versus let's say outer planes is just outer planes are basically like different map types and rule sets. If you were to like treat it as a,

Good thing.

Transitive planes are planes that are all sort of, they're the planes that you have to go through to get to the outer planes, usually. Like, they are transitionary between the, like, the center circle, if you had that graphic up. You would notice that the transitive planes are all encircling the material plane. or a part of it.

of the position matters.

They're like... The positioning matters just for representing how easy it is to travel between them and how they overlay each other. But it's not really like a physical, it's just sort of a representation of how they can be connected to and travel between and also how magic flows between them and things like that. Yeah. And then on the outer ring is all of the planes that aren't as easily accessible or connected. Very specific ways of getting there, very specific portals, very specific rules.

Which plane are we currently in?

You guys are in the material plane still.

Okay, and how common is it for someone from another plane to be in the material plane?

the

It's as common as casting a spell. You know, it's like if someone has enough powerful magic to cast plane shift, they can shift to other planes.

Is there like, is there, would you say there's a tourism industry or anything like that between planes? Oh, there.

No small businesses. However, but I wouldn't say tourism as much as tourism.

No.

Like, there are ways to get there and there are planes that you would never want to go to if you were, like, mortal because of how harsh the environments can be. If you're not... Yeah, like, Pandemonium and these places, it's like the ambient temperature is like 900 Kelvin at, like, the first level. And you're like, well, I can't even go there. I hope we don't appear there. Like, I'm going to die instantly. Yeah.

Which scares me about traveling with this boat.

Gravity is different. The size might be infinite. It would be small.

Yeah, this boat can cross planes.

Oh yeah, wait, hold on. Did it? our other boat that also crossed planes or how long have we had this boat?

We just got it.

You had one boat that went into the ethereal plane once.

Yeah, which, okay, I remember that one. That was, when did that happen?

That was a long time ago.

So, and then in the bottom of that representation, it shows this thing called the Outlands. And the Outlands is, it's like, I believe that contains the,

three-dimensional.

that contains either the portal to or actually contains the city of sigil which is the city of portals which is like this that's like the planer giant hub that connects all planes together and is sort of like the end-all be-all like hub of action for anyone who travels planes

Yeah, also known as the cage.

I've been neck deep in the planes for a while now and it's very hard to understand

Wait, do you know?

And a lot of it is open to, it's like they give you just enough to craft your campaign around it. And that's it. Like maps are hard to come by because they just don't flesh it out that well. And I found some books from the 90s that ran some adventures in it. And that's about it. Like... And so I got those and I'm like, sweet, these are cool. But for the most part, it's like build your own multiverse. Here's the fucking books.

There's a realm of every little access piece of dialogue on it. If you're a celestial, if you're a demon, you have your own little fucking world where you came from. Shit's just basically being summoned into the material plane with one of the most coveted

Do either of you know anything?

Do either of you know anything about Nirvana?

So is Nirvana a fifth edition plane?

Do you guys know anything about it?

Do you guys know anything about the Nirvana play?

Let me take a look. So I'm wondering if like,

Or do you know anything about Elysium?

Yeah, I know. I know the lesion. That's in my book.

God, you're going to play a bard?

Yeah.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Elysium 13.

I tried it. It was pretty garbage.

you guys gonna love it because you basically get like i don't know plus four to every roller or something

I don't know.

It's insane.

You get healing and shit too.

Elysium.

8.57.

136, 138.

Wait, what do you know? Am I unleashing?

I know that it has specific gravity, time, size, and various elemental and alignment traits that you guys don't know. You'll know about it since you're from there, right?

No, not Elysium. I might know some stuff about Elysium in that sense, but I'm on Nirvana, which is basically the neutral, whereas Elysium is the chaotic.

from there.

I've seen it on it. Anyway, so what you know about Elysian is called the Blessed Fields as well. It's the source of the river ocean. It is a place of ultimate goodness. It is a land so pleasant that you may never want to leave. Elysium is the most strongly good aligned plane of the Great Wheel, a place of good untrammeled by the issues of law or the issues of chaos. On this plane, doing well by others is more highly valued than any other idea. The first layer of the plane is a riot of color. The visitors will marvel at the brilliant green meadows dotted with starbursts of flowers and pools of deep blue as jace plumage. Silver clouds drift through a perfect sky. The plane seems to vibrate with a sense of intensity and life. It is a place of peace, a place of tranquility. It seems to seep into the bones and souls of all that cross it. The leasing consists of four layers strung together by the myriad courses of the river Oceanus. The first layer is most like the material plane, with sweet-smelling pines and flowering trees along its banks, giving ways to rolling meadows and fields. The second layer is rougher and mountainous, but rapids and falls are common through channels of the river, and the third is a great marsh awash with life. The deepest and last layer is the sea itself, in the headwaters of the great river, dotted with islands where veteran heroes of good relax for eternity. The size of the river Oceanus varies from a braid of smaller side channels. Blah flows through its banks, the river along the river islands gravel bars rocky promenaderies and promontories which are often homes of petitioners and other more powerful denizens so it sounds like it is heaven to some and super good And it shows links, inhabitants, other stuff, cities.

Although on the third layer, there's a prison.

of some deadly creatures. Some tales say the prisoners of Belair in the third layer of Elysium is a powerful monster along the lines of the Tarrasque, or a monster of legend. Others say that it is the deadly Archduke of Lower Plains, a disposed elemental prince, or some say it's a wounded deity. The indisputable fact is that evil creatures are sometimes caught lurking here, and the native gardenals are constantly fighting back attacks in this layer.

I'm gonna deliver that lich king right into that jail baby.

So that's what you know about that. I don't know what Nirvana playing.

Is that from Pathfinder?

What is?

Nirvana?

Oh, Pathfinder renamed everything. Okay. I'm using the old ones because there's... Yeah, there's just more documentation for the old ones, but there's going to be the one...

Oh, they did?

Oh, this has a different name.

Everything in Pathfinder, they renamed everything from Wizards of the Coast, pretty much. That's okay. I'm just going to find which one that that's referring to.

So there's a lot more lore.

And then they didn't flesh it out as much as all the books that existed from like the eighties and on. So it's like, I just prefer the old shit.

Oh, shit, yeah, I can roll my stuff. Did you give me the character?

Nirvana is a neutral middle ground between the chaos of Elysium and authority of heaven.

Do any of you have that script to roll the dice? By chance. How do you roll the dice again?

I think it's slash rsp.

slash R

space whatever, D, whatever.

But there was a macro. Do you guys remember the macro?

for stat rolling.

Oh, that one macro that rolls stats? I know, but I know how to Google it because I...

It was Roll. One D, well, it was rule 46.

Maybe I should try as Charactermancer. Have you guys tried Charactermancer?

Drop lowest 020 macro.

Yeah, I've done it. Through the D20 level up, I did it for the Druid. It does help a little bit. Some things get in your way, like with combat, you've got to Do the checks and balances.

But it works. You can give it all your spells and everything.

Yeah, that seemed to work.

There you go.

What's our ability scores generation? Standard, classic, heroic, what? 3d6? 46?

The macro.

Okay, this is not a real rule. I believe it's all eight teams.

217

My next one's gonna be so much better.

I gotta cancel this character master shit.

What was the rule? I rolled twice.

Yeah, you get two of them. Just ignore that good-looking first one.

That's not bad, actually. You got 110, but everything else is pretty solid.

And then I can reroll one of them or something, was it?

So now, once you pick the one you like, you can move one point from any one of those six boxes to any one of the other ones.

You can make that 15 a 14 and bump the 13 to a 14. Or the 17 to an 18.

Maybe that's 17, 18, maybe 13 and 12.

and then sign up to whatever you want.

Also, since you're level 10, you get two ability stat increases from level four or from level eight. What do you get one from each? Totaling two.

That last roll overall is more points. By one point, that adds up to 85. The other one adds up to 84. So I will be taking that second one, please.

Well, I mean, the points don't matter if they're below nine. Like, you got two nines right there.

when i first saw it i didn't think it would be i don't think it was better than the previous one but

That second rule is clearly bad.

How was it now?

I can juice me up.

Well, Jake, you need to buy some stuff. What do you do?

crystal ball with a true C-Scribe on it.

Okay, you are floating in a ship above the city. What do you do?

looking at my crystal ball.

You are saying you buy it, yet you are still in a boat floating above the city. Not landing it. I know, but...

Man, can't we?

I'm going to fly down

what do I do? I go over and I inspect the

the ring

That's keeping us afloat, the elemental ring. I go over and I turn into an air elemental and I inspect it.

You'll hear screams like just like the howling, the wind of it. It's just like you just it's just screaming. It's just screaming and elemental, which is whatever. They speak a language. I can't remember what it is. But you speak it now, and you can hear that the sound of the winds roaring is really just the screams of this elemental. It's just like, let me free! And you're like, you're confident that eventually he might just accept that his place in the world is to be enslaved in a tubular ring forever. However, he has not accepted that fate yet. You can definitely tell by his screams.

But...

Ha.

I shouldn't find it hilarious. I just say, I just say, there. And, you know, I tap on the ring. I said, it's going to, it's going to be okay. You know, we could, if you're nice, we could eventually let you free, you know, when our journey is done, but you are, you are forever bound. Bad luck to you.

By the winds of the elemental blade, I will escape and I will throw you into the abyss. Ah!

They're there. They're there. It's okay. It's going to be fine. No, yeah, you sound very strong, and I appreciate you for powering our shit. And then I shaped back to my normal form. And it was like, woo!

Way more peaceful out here. You just hear a nice breeze.

I tell Johnny he sounds strong. We got a strong ship. The batteries are good.

to that.

I just did a battery check with full power.

You fly down in that city?

You know, could we be, should we be a little inconspicuous? I mean, I mean, this is the first time I've ever seen a ship of this decadence, right? Like, this is just like a crazy magnificent ship or does this kind of thing happen all the time?

I am just a druid little elf. I don't think I've ever seen something of this magnitude before.

Hahaha.

But yeah, I claw down to the city.

And first up, I need... and Armoursmith.

I look around for an Armorsmith sign.

My bad. I was talking something. Okay. So, you flew down on the broom.

We are in Neo.

Neil. Yeah. So... Neo is medium-sized. It's a small river town. I mean, not a lot going on in Neo. It's populous. It has enough of a population that it has trade and commerce, but it's not the hub of anywhere special.

it's not like a just a shit tiny village in the mountains but it's close to that and there's it looks like multiple areas where you have a nice part town medium you know part town shitty part town just like everywhere else you went to before you went to

Actually, didn't we go to the main city here?

And Neo is much smaller than Mugoki. You can see from just where you are.

Can you go down into the town?

All right, what do you look for?

I am looking for blacksmiths.

you very quickly find a blacksmith.

I'm trailing along with Donnie.

is a There's a large stone building that says Star Iron Works, and it seems to be, kind of looks like very, like very large blacksmith relative to other businesses around. It seems like this one's very popular and does well, does good business. It's right on the dock, and it looks like it has its own ship that it trades out and down the river with goods. Like exports.

take a peek inside.

Okay, inside you see, Doo. A small lizard man. And he's fetching goods back and forth for a very large, looks like a half giant, who's just taking a huge press that looks very custom made and it's like doing a go. form that makes a sword blank and like one big crushing motion that is not the standard traditional style of hand forging it looks more like the next level of automating the process looks like they can probably bang out a lot of swords in this small facility using just all these forms and dyes it's just it's very advanced more than any other blacksmith you've seen more assembly line style they've got a couple different stations after this one that have different parts of the process it looks like they're very good at making one two or three different kinds of items

Excuse me, sir.

He grunts at you disapprovingly. What are you doing here? You here for the tour?

was actually wondering about how

You here for the job?

I was more interested in seeing if I could commission you to forge a piece of armor for me.

look like this because this is what we make here. He just kicks the fucking piece of armor next to him. He's like, I fucking hate this place. He slams the die down again.

What is it that you guys specialize in?

These three fucking things. Slams the die down again. Hot metal comes out in the shape of a chest piece. And then the little lizard guy comes up and starts moving a little pot of iron molten magma fucking metal. Pours it in. He's like, where you going? He's just like, hurry up. He's like, what can I do you for? You want this kind of sword? You want this kind of armor?

Do you only have one kind of material here?

Steel.

Any...

We sell the cheapest swords in the entire continent. I'll guarantee you that. It'll last at least one battle.

Do you know of any blacksmiths that do custom work in town?

how to get to the bar down the street and how to pull this lever. I don't know what the fuck you're asking me.

Thank you for your time. And I walk out.

I gave you the tour. You're supposed to pay me. That's you. That's you walking out.

Are there like a lot of people out and about?

It's midday. It's a weekday. People are doing their work shit. They're walking around. There's a river. The river's got four or five bridges. It looks like a bunch of people are fishing off the side of it. You see down the way, we've got...

The giant was speaking pretty good common. The lizard guy, you can understand him. But some of the other folks here, there's a lot of cat folk. There's a lot of, which is cool. There are a lot of cat folk in this town.

A lot of cat folk, you say.

and you see a wedding going on down in the town square across the little bridge where they're fishing and they see boats you see boats trading in the water where the river kind of opens up and it's sort of like a floating town square sort of thing where it's just like trading boats that are trading fruits and vegetables and animals and little cages and like there's like a little slaughtery that drains the blood right into the river and they do all the cleaning, clean the meat right there. And it's like pretty fresh. It's like fresh and clean is what the sign says. And, That's sort of the vibe of the commerce you're going. What's going on here? And a roaming perception check.

I didn't see it. What was it?

That wasn't mine. Probably Jake's.

Thanks, Mike. Jake got a 19, I got a 24.

Jake, you don't really notice anything, but... You, Donnie, notice there's two beggars that are pointing at you and whispering to each other. And they have a half-ripped hat that's on the ground. And they have a little sign that's got... Like just asking for spare bits of gold or coin or copper or whatever. And they're pointing over and whispering and pointing. And then one of them starts like exclaiming, like looks like he's really excited, but also kind of scared. And they look back at you a few times.

Interesting.

They both get up, grab their hat, And go down an alley.

When you get to the alley, you see down the alley that Ruin perception. JT Fowler.

Yes.

We got a 17th. Jake got a 23.

Okay. You lose them, Donnie.

Jake, you... You notice.

that they The door on the side of the building at the end of the alley is ajar, slightly. And it looks like it's slowly closing. Like you notice that it looks like it was closing, like it was just slowly closing and then when you turn the corner as you come down, it still has a little bit of movement left in it as if they probably went inside this room or this door.

yeah, well, I mean, yeah, then, grab Donnie by the, arm, just give him a tap and then a point as we're running. And then we take a turn and slowly go in the door.

As you guys are slowly going in the door, I need a one more perception check.

I got a 27.

Well, you notice that on the handle of the door is a holy symbol of the Church of St. Cuthbert.

Shit.

They found me, Jake. laughter

Sons of bitches. I don't think we should go in here, man.

I mean, like, he was running. Like, we could just jerk him. I mean, we can't get in any more trouble than we already are, Donny.

Are you going to jerk?

but that Paladin was pretty fucking powerful, dude.

understand it.

Alright, we can go ahead. Fuck it. Fuck the church.

All right, so you guys go in, and you see down to the left, there's a bunch of pews. It looks like this is definitely a church that is built into a building. It doesn't seem like a very ornate outside church. It's more like a repurposed building that is also a church now. When you go down the corridor and you see to the left, there's a bunch of pews, and people are in there, and they're kind of like... There's some praying going on, but it doesn't seem like there's any service was recently or doesn't seem like there's a service soon because none of the candles are lit. There's like a little bit of incense lit down at the end by the holy symbol and the sun and stuff like that and all the altars. But for the most part, pretty dead in here. Down the corner, you see sort of like some like a large... big staircase and big ornate looking doors and you see a guy in robes and he's talking to two beggars.

Did they notice us?

Should we stealth?

Oh, that's not, I didn't put a D.

Okay.

Rolling a 20. They do not notice you.

I use my hat of disguise to make myself look like the paladin that's been scrying me.

I'm going to look at how this guy does.

Hey, I do this thing. All right, this thing doesn't work because of this reason. Damn it. It's a game I have to play sometimes.

I hate it, but this is how it goes. All right, how do the skies...

side here.

You alter your appearance. It functions like alter self. The hat becomes part of the disguise. It can be a hat, a helmet, a headscarf.

I can't choose my creature type.

Never mind.

as this guy's self.

Yeah. But this guy itself, you cannot change your creature type. I'd still be a cat. Yeah.

We used to have to be a cad.

So you did.

you can add or obscure a minor feature.

You guys are literally standing in the middle of the hall still.

I turn into a mouse.

And hug the wall.

Jake is a mouse and the priest looks up and sees a glimpse of you.

because perhaps

Okay. And,

as you're standing next to a mouse.

I believe I saw your men here whispering about me.

He walks down towards you and he hands them what looks to be a bag of currency. And you slowly...

puts his hands together and walks down.

And it looks as though he's suppressing some kind of facial expression. You may roll a sense motive if you like.

I would like.

70.

He seems excited.

excited

Do I know you, stranger?

Jake got a nat 20 cents.

What has brought you here today?

noticed some stray glances and decided to follow them up.

Welcome to the Church of St. Cuthbert. Do you have any business here with us today?

I do not. I noticed some These men over here you were paying off. They were... pointing at.

They're just agents of the church. They tear out tasks for us when we need them to. It is payment that they much deserve. They are all children of St. Cuthbert.

What exactly were you paying them for?

They do good deeds and spread joy to

People.

He seems to draw a blank on his words.

like to have some tea with me? I'd like to discuss something with you. Jake, he doesn't seem to have any idea that you're down.

Yeah, why don't we sit down for a glass of tea?

Step into my office.

and he kind of motions towards the door.

As I'm stepping in, I don't notice... Which door? The large door?

It's a very large store.

cornate wood, stuff like that. Suns carved in

Perception of 23. Anything I notice about the door?

you're just using straight perception nothing mancy or weird looks expensive looks real fucking expensive

Ooh, it's a nice-looking door, Donnie.

markings or anything.

Okay, so in the room there are big Nice leather chairs with brass rivets and solid wood construction. Everything is very old and very kept up. Very nice. much like often these same churches. He sits down in a large chair across from you. offers motion to sit down in front of them.

I sit down.

I scurry under the table and position myself behind his chair. Not Donnie's. Monks.

He says,

I believe you and correct me if I'm wrong to be the cat folk

that seem to have caused issues with the church this year. Are you a Mori Yoshinari or am I incorrect?

I am neither deferring nor denying that statement, but... For the sake of the conversation, let's say that I am this person.

Well, then for the sake of conversation, what would bring you into our doors? Would you, are you coming here to seek penance?

using that word right?

I'm more curious on how serious you are on your search for this Mori.

Well, I'm myself, I've only been receiving messages of various church business and one of them, involves you. A lot of things that the church has eyes on, and you happen very curious as to how on earth you show up in an entire different continent from where they've been searching for you. And from what I've just read, from the latest update from various church news and things and all that we're focusing on, can you hear me? I think my headphones just died. Okay. Was that literally just yesterday, you were...

You were thousands of miles away.

This Mori sounds like a tricky individual.

It does, and I'm wondering what this trick is, if you don't mind me asking. What would bring you here?

I'm just roaming about the countryside.

What would it take to convince you not to mention anything to your superiors about potentially running into a Mori Yashinari?

Well, it would be... It would be punishable by me losing my status with the church if anyone were to find out that I had a discussion with you that did not lead to me turning you in and charging you for crimes against the church and clergy members.

Well, I mean, you wouldn't You wouldn't want something bad to happen.

I wouldn't want something bad to happen to me, my church, my followers, or anyone in this town. No, I would prefer that I wasn't a part of any of this. However, also, I would very much so like to rise through the ranks of the church by apprehending a man as slippery as you. However, it's not in my nature to apprehend people. I'm not the kind of person that does that. So instead,

I shape shift behind him into a giant snake. Or a large condom.

Okay. So do you do it quietly?

As quietly as I possibly can. I don't know.

Roll me stealth.

makes it sound

pretty bad and as you shape shift the sound of the stretching of skin and moving and the morphing of the bones it's hard for you to control and it makes this wretched sound and he hears this

If you had any concerns,

behind him and as he turns what kind of snake are you

Constrictor.

He sees the eyes of a constrictor snake behind him. He freezes.

As he turns, I quick draw my sword and hold it on his shoulder.

And then his eyes come back to the shining blade that is now resting on his shoulder that took zero seconds because that's how reactions pretty much work.

And then he looks back at you. And he's speechless.

I go for, and then I grab his ass.

Okay. As you grab him and the blade is next to his shoulders, he, if he rolls high enough, no, if he rolls low enough, he's going to try to do something. If he is smart, he doesn't. He doesn't.

Smart enough.

I don't know.

He stays very still.

What do you want? He says, as he realizes he's losing control of the situation.

I want you to help me figure out a way to get St. Cuthberg's off my tracks.

What are you asking for?

So if you had a body that resembled mine, with your word, would the church consider me dead?

It would probably perform a magical autopsy. It would see if you were the corpse that I said you were.

Unless somehow

Okay, so your church has its own coroner.

the

It's the Church of St. Cuthbert. You're fighting a clerical army. I mean, we have nigh infinite resources.

I made a foolish mistake and I am just trying to move past it. The church does not make it easy.

No, they don't, and they won't.

Killing me would just make the matters worse for you.

I give him a little squeeze.

As you squeeze him, you see his robe was concealing something that now it's hard for him to grab as his neck comes back and gets squeezed. And you see a wand fall to the floor from inside of his sleeve that he was kind of holding choked up.

Pocket wand. Fucker.

And what was that you said before?

How hard are you squeezing him, Jake?

Pretty hard. It's what I do.

He's like,

No, here. I got you.

I kicked the wand away.

No.

He starts breathing. And he was like, when I recognized you, I had to be careful. I still wanted to talk to you. Don't hold it against me. I just know that I didn't use it.

I didn't give you a lot of opportunity to use it, sir.

i did i gave him two d7 or two d4

Is that subdual or lethal?

That's subdue.

Roll it.

He did 7 damage.

How many members of the church are there in this town?

says there are

There are 16 active core members of the church in the town.

That's pretty low on a D100. Okay, I'll take that.

I'm gonna walk out of this building and you never saw me.

Or if you did see me, you will be seeing a lot more of me.

Did you just come here?

OK, I agreed.

I walk over and pick up the wand, turn back to him. You won't be needing this.

I wink at him and use the hat of disguise to change into a female... white cat person.

And Drake is still squeezing.

Donnie gets to disguise him. I let loose my grip. And then I look at him and I just hiss very menacingly. Incredibly menacingly. We're talking menacingly.

He slumps down in his chair. Looking a little pathetic. And a little confused. And he looks up at both of you.

And he looks down at the desk. And then... depending on this rule.

He gathers his composure and doesn't cry.

Not going to cry today. to help the public.

I walk out.

Okay. As you walk out. You see 15 soldiers. No. You see just an empty hallway. Another person came in to pray and let incense. It's very common here. Seems like

everything is normal, you leave the whole building.

You're back outside.

I...

go back to looking for a custom blacksmith shop. When I go back out onto the main street where the alley meets, do I notice any catfolk?

Okay.

There's...

What's on this road? Obviously that blacksmith I just came out of is over here.

What else do I notice? He said it's not a very huge town, so...

No, it's not. You see a flower shop, you see a breakfast spot, you see a general store, you see a bait and tackle, you see a potion shop. You see

I'll go into the bait and tackle real quick.

Yeah, I'm looking for some new fishing lines.

Oh, you came to the right place. Welcome to Lions and Loans. We have everything from diggers and riggers and flowers and bobbers. Whatever you need, we got it. Cash or credit.

Cash.

Cash credit.

I probably like about a thousand feet of line. What do you got for new lures?

Pleasant on the tip.

Oh, I'm glad you asked. This one... This one will dive way far down. Deeper than you've ever seen before. Deeper than your ass can see. It'll fliggle and flabble and do other verbs that don't exist. It will come all the way back up and bring you a big ol' meaty fish for dinner. Serve the what? She'll like ya. She'll like it. It'll be great. It'll only 100 gold pieces. 80 gold pieces if you let me tell you a joke.

Oh god, yeah sure, tell me a joke.

I don't know.

Well, why do elves wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink.

I'll take that lower for 80 gold.

Call it a hundred gold and you throw in that thousand feet of line.

So you got yourself a deal. All right. And on Sundays, we got a fish-a-thon. You're going to come back to Sunday. I was here. We have a big old prize. Whoever catches the biggest fish, we get them a thousand gold. We get them a whole big fish fry. They get their face on the side of my building for at least an hour before I get tired of it and take it away. Are you coming down? Come on down.

He just keeps going on that like that for a while. I'm a lot of juice.

I kind of just start slowly walking out of the door.

I'm not about this.

And he bids you farewell. Another customer comes in. He begins molesting them as well.

It's not appearing like

a decent blacksmith in this town. As that gentleman's walking in, as I'm walking out. Can you speak common?

You said there was a guy walking in as I was walking out? Yeah, I turned to him and asked him if he speaks comments.

He turns to you and speaks in a voice that is very, it is common, but it has a very strong accent. And He's like, yes, my comment is very bad. I speak.

Okay,

What do you... What?

Know where a custom blacksmith is in this town?

As you say that, the shopkeep comes up to him and he's like, hey, welcome to the store, we're gonna get for you. And the guy says, do talk fast, stop. And he just pushes the guy's face way back like all the way against the fucking wall behind the counter and turns back to you and says, no, I can't help you, small man. Small cat.

Okay, thank you.

walk out and ask the same question to the first person I see.

Okay, see you cat folk

In Catfork. And...

I lick my lips because they look delicious.

I'm looking to have a custom piece of armor made. You know where I can go for that?

Yeah, let me give you directions.

So you have directions to a blacksmith. It's just a small hole in the wall spot, but they do good work and custom work.

in there.

You've got a classic dwarven blacksmith. Looks to take pride in his work. He talks to you in common. Let's make a deal. What do you want?

Excellent.

I want a...

And Discord is the name of it. I want it. Mithril plus two.

is a piece of eastern armor.

It's like heavy plate, but has one less overall... armor bonus and gives you one more on your max stakes bonus.

Anyway, back to this. So, Oyori, Eastern Armor, almost exclusively by High Ranking Samurai. This is the fucking nation to buy it, so yeah, hell yeah, he can make that for you.

That's what I was figuring. And then, yeah, I said, so Mithril plus two.

Once you want on it.

Yeah.

So that's going to run me... Average cost is $10,700 for the Mithril Armor, and then $5,000 for the plus two enchant.

Haggle the shit out of him, Donnie.

15-7 for base cost.

Okay, mithril plus two Asian armor. Yes? Okay, yeah. Spend it. Send it.

All right, let's do it.

He already had the armor on the shelf, so it was just a matter of getting it enchanted, which does not take that long. You're out of there in my mind.

I need to go to the enchanter anyways because there's another thing I want to put on there. So it'll be plus three. Almost seven.

Okay, and then you know that, like, the plus three bonus, like, there's a...

Yeah, I know. It's going to cost another $9,000.

It costs a lot, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I know. It's going to be 23,700 at the end of the day.

Yeah, it's not cheap. Okay. Cool, man. Yep, Enchanter is just basically in the same little area here. in the crafting and merchant district. And they can totally do that enchantment for you. Do you want any other enchanting?

Yeah, I want plus two base enchant and then a... I also want... Dastard.

Dastard.

This armor special ability works only for evil creatures with a challenge ability such as Cavaliers or the Good Smite ability, blah. A wearer with one of these abilities gains a plus two profane bonus to AC against attacks made from the chosen opponent.

So the Dastard ability makes it a plus three piece of armor, right?

Correct, because it's a level one enchant.

Got it. Yeah, you got the pricing structure down then. So, yep. Still enchanted. Standard prices.

So it'll be free.

And that's going to be 23.7 off the top.

Team.

Okay.

How about you, Jake? Do you need to do anything in town?

yeah, I have to go to Enchanter and get this, get this scryball.

You are there.

So I shapeshift back into the elf, into my norm.

Can I go hunting for a check?

So plus on an armor, does that only affect the check ability?

Does it also increase my dex?

I do not think that increases your dex. That's a good question, though. I'm not really sure how the...

Because I thought it initially affected the armor class overall. Rich was saying it doesn't, and I couldn't find anything to support my hypothesis, so.

I would assume it affects the armor class.

I assumed that as well, but I can't see anything that says that. Or I didn't in my brief search.

Okay, let's see.

Enhancements? What are those bonuses called?

I think it's an enhancement. It's probably still under magic weapons or armor, though.

Magic Arm.

So that's where they keep the charbrook.

Because a magic weapon affects the... I think it affects your damage.

It does. And it affects your head.

So I don't know why this wouldn't affect AC.

In addition to an enhancement bonus, armor may have special abilities. Special abilities usually count as additional bonuses for determining the market value of an item, but do not improve ACs.

Okay. In general, magic armor protects the wearer to a greater extent than non-magical.

or cannot have an addition.

Magic armor bonuses are enhancement bonuses, never rise to 5 and they stack with regular armor bonuses. And we shield magic shield enhancement bonuses. All magic armor is also magic. in addition to it.

So I think just because it's a masterwork, it reduces the penalty by one.

I don't think it makes it for each plus one, though.

No, it says magic armor bonuses are enhancement bonuses and stack with regular armor bonuses.

Plus, like, having the equivalent of plus three doesn't give you a plus three, but because you have plus two arms, it increases your AC by that two.

Okay, so my AC goes up 2, not 3, just because it goes up for the base 2, but not the ability, right?

It goes up because you get whatever armor bonus the armor gives you. Then you get the plus two enhancement bonus that you paid for. And then the armor is priced as a plus three because your other ability made it Your other ability that you put onto it makes it the equivalent of a plus three piece of armor. And that's just to limit you from stacking indefinitely. You can only have up to plus five total enhancement points, two of which are actual plus two enhancement bonuses. One of them is just the equivalent of a plus one that actually gives you bastard ability. And that's how that works.

Okay, so my AC does go up two, and my check penalty goes down two. Is that what's happening?

your armor check penalty goes down one.

And your AC goes up too. And then whatever the armor bonus that style of armor gives you. Just like how regular armor

That's what I thought, but Rich kind of confused me, so.

which might have been incorrect on that particular one.

I have to make sure that everything adds up to the right numbers, but I'm pretty close. So the opportunity.

Okay. You got feet down or you want to do that later?

Oh yeah, I already got my feats. I'm just learning about my abilities.

I was thinking that I would probably...

Well, so I guess I'm hanging out in the bar.

Do my thing and I'm in town.

But if I were to see like a fight on the street, I might help one side or the other, you know?

Yep.

I gotcha. Well, so you're a... Putting some back.

Oh, shit.

He said, you're at the bar, you're knocking some back.

Oh, yeah.

I also...

I have my katana enchanted. It's at a plus one right now, I'd like to take it to plus two.

So it's a plus one king katana, so it's going to be the equivalent of... plus three so it'd be nine grand

Okay.

And Jake, you are at the Enchanter as well, if you're with Donnie, so you can get that done now.

Yes. I mean, you know, tail said the achievements are for the trucing on this excellent crystal ball that I hold in my hand is going to be around 40,000.

Okay, so this allows you to what?

to scry trucing

Dope. All right. 40K. Bish Bash Belouche. They can do it.

Does it take a couple bells and whistles? Is it like two hours crying where I have to come back in a couple hours and it's ready?

no. I mean, yeah, sure. That happened. Time passes. You get the thing. Bada bing, bada boom.

Perfect. I scream zippity-doo-dah, then I just fly back to the fucking ship.

I'm just updating all my stuff. I

Also would like to

sell some odds and ends.

We have a bunch of random shit that we need to get rid of.

Yeah, we do need to kind of like do a wholesale on that shit.

I go wander over to the general store.

Okay.

Excuse me, sir. I'd like to get rid of some stuff. I was wondering if you might be interested in some of this.

What do you got?

got a bottle of exotic wine.

Mmm, I love it.

No, I grabbed that from Dottie's hand and I shake my head.

Well, I would look pretty tasty. I'd like that.

Not for sale.

This is the only good bottle of wine we have. I can't let you sell it. I paid Donnie $250.

I start pulling out odds and ends, carved ivory drinking horn.

I grabbed that from Dinah's hand and I, and I shake my head. I say, no, we can't, we have to drink the wine out of that. We can't tell.

Y'all got some really nice stuff.

You ain't selling none of that?

figure

You keep all the stuff on you, Donnie?

Maybe not, it's probably on the boat. I'll have to go back and get it. I don't have one of those.

Bag of holding, man. Of course.

I haven't had a whole day.

Okay.

Been in my hat this whole time.

things that we would like to sell off.

Ebony dice?

Let's get on. I call

Man, this shit's too cool to sell.

Oh, this stuff.

Yeah, he'll buy that shit.

Yeah, he's about all this shit, man. This is like general store bread and butter.

That's what I'm talking about.

Platinum framed masterpiece painting.

Let me guess. You want to hold on to that, Jake?

Yeah.

Worth 4,000 gold.

I also buy rare inks off this guy. So.

You can say like what kind of inks like metallics. Do you want inks that are magic? Do you want inks that are,

More share.

so yeah. Some metallics and some, like disappearing magical inks.

You want ink that has been blessed, like that has mixed with holy water.

Yeah.

Do you want just one color or a set?

Man, give me a full set, man.

So a set of holy water inks. Do you want a set of color changing inks?

Yes.

And would you like a set of... ink that makes subtle whispers as you stare into it.

No, that's evil. No, don't sell me that shit.

He said that shit is free if you want it.

No, fuck you. Don't give me that monkey's paw. I smell that shit from a mile away. It's the merchant's curse. Nice try. I appreciate the haggle.

The set of color changing is 600. The set of Holy Water Blessed is 200.

It does also, he lets you know that the holy water inks, when drawn, are harmful to demons and undead and accursed creatures that holy water respond to. It pains them to view the art that has been made with these inks.

Excellent. I pretty much figured that. This is my first engineering career, but I appreciate it. Thanks for the knowledge, man.

Yeah, I figured, you know, whatever. You ain't gonna teach me shit. We ain't getting this drinking horn.

Ha.

We don't need these bolts of silk, right?

The white of silk?

bolts

bolts like

Dude, you're selling the fucking 10 gold rabbit fur vest.

Shut up, shut up. Yes, of course. It's all that shit. Donnie, I can create rabbits for your skin. We don't need this.

just trying to get our goat. Don't sell the gopher either.

I don't think we need any of this cloth stuff. I don't see any of this really creating anything with it.

Well, some of us need to use it for magical purposes, Donnie.

Bolt of Electrum Cloth. Bolt of Electrum Cloth set with Black Pearl.

You got purposes for that? I don't think so.

That pearl, yeah.

What? That's worth 5,000 gold. Why do you want all this stuff worth money? You're just going to take it and sell it behind my back, aren't you? I know what you're doing.

That's why it's worth 5,000 gold, Donnie. Fuck no, dude. I mean, like, it's worth a lot of money for a fucking reason.

this random bolt of cloth is enchanted with something?

Well, it could be, but I mean, at the same time, like the pearl is cool. That's going to be hard to find.

He says, that about reaches my maximum buying capacity. I don't really have more than 10,000 gold liquid.

you have to exit my shop and rest outside for 24 hours until i get my money back

You've never heard of the Elder Scrolls? Mm-mm. So he basically buys all that shit he just posted. that's 10,040 gold worth of stuff for 10,000 gold straight and gives you 40 gold store credit because he doesn't have any more money.

store credit. We don't take that shit. I snapped his fucking post-it notes out of his hand.

I divide it up between all of us so everybody gets $2,000. Including, well, I don't know what was on yet. So, actually, that's not true. Hold on.

Actually, we do take a store credit because We are going to have to come back. You're going to be our main little fucking, I tell the guy, you're going to be our fencer. Are you cool with that?

What is this business? I'm just letting you know that was very rude and you should be ashamed of your actions.

yesterday.

Yeah.

So.

for, man. I saw it. I was thinking Rash because we don't have...

So yeah, Jake, I had 2,500 gold in your inventory.

I'm not a poor man. I have investments all over the continent.

Yeah, because we don't have a main, I know, I know, and listen, I'm sorry, like I said, we don't have an actual, a main shop clerk here, you know, that we can come to in our times of need when we need to get off some stuff, you know. You know what I'm saying?

No shame.

You know what I'm saying? Okay, so we can come back to you when we can entrust. You can keep that 40 gold to yourself, but you can entrust in us to come back here and lighten our package. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, you don't know what you're saying.

Wait, what are you saying?

No, deal. I'll see you later, pops.

And he's like, made myself four to go. Oh, God, Melvin.

I still got it.

is going to file this club.

emotional.

Well, he still kept a lot of shit, but...

None of this stuff is stolen, is it?

Yeah.

No, of course not.

Yeah, but I don't build fences.

You call me a fetch? I don't... These kids in their lingo?

I don't understand. Those boys get some nice stuff, though.

So what do you guys do?

Well, I go back. I think we should go back up to the ship and start scrying, motherfucker.

to see if we can't find out where that lead captain is Tent and Donnie.

What are you having this conversation? Outside the shop or inside the shop?

Inside the shop.

Yeah, let's head back.

And well, I mean, apparently, Donnie, we have, I mean, to truly clear your name, we do have 16 people to go through.

That's 16 people in this town that followed the church.

Well, let's get to work, man. I mean...

We go for Total Annihilation on him, or...

We just love killing.

Fucking magical autopsy. What is that shit?

All right, Ozan. Are you in this city or you want to enter somewhere else?

I'm wherever it's convenient. I'm open to the choices, but I'm at a bar, I think.

So you're in a bar.

product performing.

It would not be unlike me and Jake to stop at a bar on our way back to the

You,

I mean, I mean,

You do see... You were riding a broom, Donnie? And Jake, how are you traveling around? Flight?

Flight.

Bird?

All right. I'm just...

You got that cloak. You could be a bat. Oh, it's daytime. You can't be a bat.

Oh really? That cloak's reduced to nighttime?

Yeah, I think so. For transforming into a bat, I'm pretty sure.

I was on roaming perception check.

You very clearly see two, you see a guy step up from the door of the bar, you see the general store. And outside, there's two guys talking for a second. And then one of them turns into a bird. The other one picks up a broom. And they start flying up towards this ship in the sky. And the ship in the sky has a glowing big ass ring around it.

That's pretty cool looking. And you can see that. And they're starting to take off on the ground right now.

Is that, have I seen that ship anywhere before? Or is that Snuckin' Normalty, not here?

It is very strange to see in a town this small, these guys seem like they've got their shit together and they are about to go on fucking crazy ass travels. Or they work for someone pretty powerful. Or they somehow slaved an elemental plane to do their bidding, or they're friends with one or something because this is an elemental plane.

You know that much.

And they're taking off, he said?

They are leaving the ground outside the general store, kicking up towards that ship that you just saw.

How many feet away is the ship?

Seems like that's up in the sky. Very high up.

Can you ballpark some number and feet that I would guess? Do you want me to roll something for it to see how accurate?

How high did you guys park your ship?

200 feet.

It's just above the cloud line, I would assume.

Yeah, you see it at the clouds.

In that case, I will...

onto the ship.

Dimension door?

I will teleport to the ship.

Yeah. All right. Straight up. You beat them there.

I just hang out

on the top

sitting and I'm playing my music.

immediately. Nutty and Rich, I mean, they're on the boat, but...

You ain't getting no quarter from Nutty. He does not like that.

Yeah, I gotta see if they're above deck or below deck, though. So, since they're out of game, they're most likely below deck. But on an 18, 19, or 20, they're up above deck, and I have to pretend to be one of them.

Dude, sneak past them both.

Nuddy's like, no, who the fuck are you?

immediately

puts himself in a position to try to sneak a bite somehow. I don't know how it's going to work.

I want the sneaky butt.

can't be nutty anyway nutty immediately goes to attack you he's like who the fuck and he just like goes to roll initiative ozon

All right, when I get on the ship, I want to be playing this song.

And then, so when I teleport onto a ship, what do I see?

So...

You see,

Wait, what do I see?

So you pop on the boat.

And then Nuddy's like, okay. And he stops for a second. But he's totally like to the end of the queue, readying an attack, and he's just watching. And then the other guys arrive.

All right, you guys fly up.

Wait, can I make them do? Will saves or no?

You can do whatever you want.

I say, man, I fucking love this song. And I bust out my perform, pull out my lute,

I'll do a row save.

starting to dance, get saw the rocks.

That was a fucking great roll.

And what's that will save do? Oh, fascinating. Gotcha.

Make it or do they fail?

You got to roll.

You both fail until you are fascinated by And Nutty Roll.

Is that an enchantment?

Um,

what it acts like.

Yeah, it's an enchantment compulsion, mind affecting ability.

So you actually rolled a 20?

The creature sits quietly and observes the performance for as long as the bard continues to maintain it.

and then plus two for me.

So I rolled a 20.

So it's 20 beat it or no?

The DC is 20, so I don't know. Is it pizza or no?

So he does make it, and so does Nettie, but Donovan is not.

However, you still are interpretive dancing there. Tick.

What are you guys doing?

I stopped my performance.

I'm dancing and Donnie's backing you up on the bum jug.

I can see you playing.

I can't back you up when you're playing.

Where are we going?

Where are we going?

Who are you?

I throw out the candle of truth on the ground like a like a Ghostbuster trap.

Oh, God. Somebody will save us. I don't like them. God damn it.

Donnie can only tell the truth.

entirely sure where we were going.

Where are you coming from then?

We just...

I just came over from Magaki.

Who are you? What's your name?

Mori Yoshinari.

You have to roll a, you have to roll a, we'll save two there. Jake for the candle. Sure. If anyone. Yeah.

How come you have a floating ship with an elemental chain?

Where did you know we're asking the questions here, but sorry, that music was great. Where the hell did you.

Don't you feel compelled to tell the answer?

You know, we just got this boat that we stole from this boat. We didn't steal it. We acquired it after we killed this guy, you know? And...

You can take shit.

What do you guys do?

do whatever we want.

Do you know how to travel across planes?

working on that. It's not as easy as one might think, but we got all the tools on board.

Which plane are you trying to go to?

I'm not entirely sure. We hadn't made up our mind to actually do it yet. I'm just trying to map out this planar compass thing that we got so that we can better travel to different dimensions when we so choose.

How do you determine as a player character on other characters alignment? Is that just like a spell or something?

You cannot use spells on other characters, but you can't use skills on other characters like Sense Motive or anything like that. So you would have to cast a spell.

Is it quite like that?

I see.

There is a detect alignment.

Okay. I will...

to, well,

I'm going to just that kind of whistle a song, but really I'm doing sea alignment.

And I'm looking to, when I cast a spell,

Okay, I do Chaotic Evil. So creatures of that alignment will glow with a ghostly radiance.

while they are in my vision.

if they are specifically chaotic evil

Yes.

I do not glow.

I do not glow.

I do it again and I check for chaotic neutral.

I do not glow. I think Richard does. No. I think he does.

Did Nutty Glow for the Catechival?

Do you know?

For Chaotic Evil. I'll check his sheet.

He did not glow for chaotic evil. What was the next one?

Cat neutral.

He did not glow for chaotic neutral. However, Rich isn't above deck right now. So...

The J Club for chaotic neutral.

No, I did not.

All right, I'll do it again for neutral.

I stick my snake on him in response.

to nature.

I'm just whistling a song, man.

Yeah, you, yeah, and people were, yeah, no, I don't get, he broke into our shit. You have to answer our question.

Well,

What questions? You're not asking anything.

Exactly. You're whistling.

Very nervous.

You're with me. Roll me a perception to see if you recognize or a knowledge arcana to see if you recognize this as bardic spell. As bardic spell.

Do I have to beat his knowledge? What's the role?

No, that's just recognizing that bards can cast through whistling, which you do know that. So you could, if you were paranoid enough, you could make that connection and be like, yeah, this could be a spell. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No cast in front. Yeah, I pointed my snake and then I point to him.

Constrictor State, coming your way.

Romy Initiatives.

I'm fascinated, so I'm not going to be doing that if you're still playing your song.

Hey, man, you want to go to Attack me.

I'm not attacking you.

Why is your snake coming at me?

Desi just wants to grab, say what's up.

Hey man, if you don't want me here, I'm free to go back where I came from.

No, we just don't know how you got up here with our lazy guards.

Where did you come from?

Oh, I can tell you how I got it. You just pulled the snake back, man.

Stop the steak from moving. He stays where he is.

I'm a bard.

State your business.

I teleport here through a dimensional door.

Why?

You were asking why? Because I was in a small, boring-ass town. And you had to find shit. And I have somewhere to be. So I figured you could get me there. And especially this guy who seems to be looking for ways to do planar travel.

Yeah, it's,

Well, my old happy knuck-knuck says that we can't do a small, there's no small businesses, but I don't see a problem with taking you where you need to go for a small fee.

What are you talking about how much?

It's not necessarily per money that we're after. We just need hands on deck.

What are you looking for, man? A hand job?

I immediately regressed back into my, into an old friend who gave out the handies to save, to save us from getting border stopped or border check.

Warms my heart.

Wait, what do you want though?

We need mercenaries. We need hands. Because we're about to go get into

Yeah, I can help you out, of course. I'm happy to help you.

We already have a lot of all the gold in the world, but you know, the more, the more people who we can fucking trust and get along with the better.

Trust me.

I look over at Donnie for a seal of approval. He's captain.

Donnie says, sure.

He's fascinated.

Sing us another song.

Mr. Harmonica Man.

Well, so I was thinking about what song to... just like reminds me of this and

I got distracted. because of the smell.

Smell?

No.

Is it the smell of cool spirit?

You have to look.

I guess you could call it that.

We give Ozan a briefing of the ship, including the magical lock

The magical lock.

Yeah, there's an entrance to the lower deck that's got a lock on it. It's a switch on the inside. It flips up and down. And when we lock the ship, if you open the door, it'll immediately fucking bondage your ass and put you to sleep in a dream world.

So if you go into the

We use blood of the living for our ship to power in between dimensions. So a bard would be perfect for luring people into here, all marching band style. And then we let blood.

He never told me what I saw when I did neutral C alignment when he sent that snake.

You saw me.

You're neutral. You're true neutral? Okay. Donnie, were you true neutral?

No, that was just Jake's the only true neutral.

Is Nuttie tree neutral?

No, he is not for neutral.

So I only know that

Rich is catechoneutral, right?

You don't know that because he was down below deck.

So I just know that this guy is true neutral.

I mean, you could just ask considering there's a fucking candle of truth down, but...

Oh, yeah. Hey, Maury, would you consider yourself chaotic, neutral, or lawful?

awful evil for sure

Or...

I didn't even ask you about how you felt about good versus evil. You're definitely committed to evil. Well, It's good to see this.

Fully committed.

Organize church burdens by the day.

Light the night sky, fire the night. All right.

Donnie, do you captain the ship?

Yes.

What and where and how it's going down.

Okay.

Where so we are.

in the city.

Mm-hmm.

I just got I just got my scribe on we can just start we can start hunting down motherfuckers

Yeah, like we could look after, you know, old Saint George home dude and just fucking go kill him now. I mean, we're a lot stronger.

He was level like 16, dude.

Yeah, and we're level 10s.

All 10.

Yeah, there's a bunch of them.

He nearly one-shot me last time.

Not with your armor and shit, though.

I mean, it's a little better now, but...

I mean, that's just up there. I mean, we could try to scry the dragon. Probably not going to go down.

Yeah, you could try and spray that gin that you set free and see what the fuck he's doing.

That's another thing. That's why I want the ball. Because I mean, once we have the ball, it's fucking, you know, it's a Rolodex of quests. Now it's whatever.

It'd be kind of good to know what he's doing in your name.

Yeah.

Probably not good.

to go.

But we should definitely go to a new place because...

that guy's probably gonna talk eventually

Yeah, that priest.

He was too bitch made not to.

Yeah, so he's gonna squeak and say you saw him there even though we told him not to. Fucker.

I would imagine so. We could go back to somewhere we've been before...

Well, do we have any loose heads?

I'm trying to think.

What do you guys do?

I go, I, well, I mean, we're on the boat. I try to test out the old crystal ball now.

The Escrite.

Casting time is one hour, I believe.

and what and where do you scrap?

Try to scry the Dijin.

Truesight?

All right.

Okay, scrying.

Silverman. Druid 4, you have to spell. Yep. Okay, you can observe any creature. at any distance or a creature at any distance if the subject succeeds a will save the difficulty of the save depends on how well the subject and what sort of physical connection if any you have to that creature okay furthermore if the subject is on another plane it gets plus five Okay, so

Jake should have a pretty good connection to the thing, I would imagine, though.

Not at all.

Yeah.

Why would you have a pretty good connection though?

I've seen him. I've met him. I've smelled him.

Yeah? You've met him?

the dude's performing tasks in his name. I mean...

in my name and we still have some of the shards of the gem we broke

So you have firsthand experience. I wouldn't say you are very familiar. You don't know them well, but you're just past firsthand. So I'd give you a plus instead of plus zero, you'll get a plus one. We'll save modifier.

You must have some sort of connection to a creature which you have no knowledge. If the save fails, you can see in here the subject of the surroundings. Okay.

I'll give you a plus two.

So go ahead and... perform the ceremony.

An hour passes. Are you guys traveling during this or what's going on while the hour is passing for the casting?

We're hanging out above the city.

Okay.

Okay, one hour passes.

Save and throw. Let's roll.

What's the DC, Jake?

of my scribe.

It's going to be four plus your whatever modifier your spells are modified with plus ten.

He makes it

I got nothing.

I put the crystal ball in my room.

I put a bed next to it, wherever it is. throughout I'll just keep I'll just keep trying to hit him with a

I'll try for two hours.

How many spells, how many times can you cast Scrying per day?

Well, since I have the crystal ball, I don't think I have to cast

Most common form of scrying device, a standard crystal ball is 42,000 gold. A crystal ball with true seeing is 80,000 gold. Most common form of scrying device, crystal sphere,

Yada. You can tell my advice.

As with the spell scrying, DC 16 debates. The crystal ball can be used multiple times per day, but the DC to resist its power decreases by one for each additional use. Certain balls of additional powers can be used through the ball and target the cube.

Where did this crystal ball come from? I gotta figure out how many uses per day it has.

I think it came from this ship

the one that came from this ship...

So this dude's crystal ball.

will be very not as good as 1000

I'm just seeing that this, the crystal ball from the ship,

is usable without casting since it's such a low value crystal. It's not going to have many uses per day. It's 1,200 crystal balls for 2K one, so it's got one use per day.

but you do not have to cast through it.