Transcript

I'm just saying, me and Nettie got our fucking champs rolled. We're 13s.

Huh? Which? When was this?

We got level 13 characters.

Do I?

I'll start with my sorcerer.

Fuck yeah, dude. Fucking 30 int, baby, let's go.

On a fighter, no joke.

No joking.

That sounds like a lot.

We're out of...

That guy fucking reads, man.

Level 13 wizard, dude. I'm telling you.

Which wizard is this?

Which wizard are we talking about?

I made a wizard a while ago.

My guy gets 24 in.

Okay, stride.

Yeah, you motherfuckers keep poofing, and that shit's broken as fuck. I'm gonna talk to Pat, and we're gonna nerf this shit. Pat, nerf that shit.

Nerf what? Nerf the mist.

That's all right.

As soon as possible.

Yeah, the miss is hella broken, dude. Are you kidding me? Fucking...

to miss nerf to pee

What the fuck is that Miss shit?

Yeah, you say that, but you guys use teleport all the time.

Nerf the balls.

You locked us in here. We can't even teleport out. We can't walk out. We can't mist out if we have the mist.

Alright, 6 plus 1. So I get another attack.

Am I no longer dominated?

Wait, no, I kicked his balls. He cleared up. Yeah, and I kicked you and I cleared you up.

You are. What was the last one?

Last time I ran off, I ran off somewhere.

We all shook it off.

Oh, that's right. That's why you're right there.

I think I shook it off. Pretty certain.

If I'm still mirror image, I want all my images to punch the wall at the same time.

poses

And as the map

I see the map.

Is that a chest?

I hope so. We should look at it.

Is that chest with loot in it?

Also, what is this room? What is the utility of this room?

Okay, so this is the room behind us. Behind you, there's that teleporter that pops us in here. And then that was the old room where everybody wanted to touch that fucking casket.

Strahd's casket, right?

This is the room with Strahd in that we went where Donnie, this is where Donnie got fucking wrecked.

Strahd kicked his ass so bad that he doesn't play anymore.

But then...

Pretty much. Yeah, I left the fucking room. Let's do that shit.

but he went back like donnie was able to get back though so it must be somewhere back

Yeah. Coughing and bleeding and a liar.

Donnie could have said anything he wanted. He chose this as bullshit.

Pat, is this a chest right in front of me with loot? Valuable loot?

this room is 30 feet square, rising to a 20-foot-tall flat ceiling. You see gargoyle-carvings smile, revealing their teeth from high upon the walls, well-lit by a brassiere that is burning fiercely in the center of the room. From the alcoves in the center of the east and west walls, you see two iron statues standing, saluting with their weapons, spared. Each statue has four arms, one with a shield, one with a sword. and the remaining two with their palms toward the ceiling over their heads their eyes seem to watch you as you walk about the room high overhead an hourglass with writing on its base hangs suspended above the brassiere all of its sand is in the upper portion somehow refusing to run down into the bottom In the center of the room next to the brassiere is a golden chest. A single door stands, oh, and in parentheses, with a ton of loot. Lots and lots of loot. A single door stands in the south wall while three doors line the north wall.

Sounds like a trap.

So you're trapped. I mean, check for traps.

Lots of loot you save.

Yeah, let's get all the loot. Let's get all the loot in this gold chest, right? Right there.

Where did you say all the loot was?

Golden chest. And the golden chest has an inscription on it that says lots and lots of loot.

Yeah, all right. I'm totally down with lots of loot.

I think it's too obvious. I think it's so obvious that there is lots of loot in there.

Yeah, who wants to open this?

I think Stride was in here. And so that shit has shit in it. Pop over that chest.

Yeah, he's putting all his loot in there. That's what we kind of knew him.

No. Let's not touch. I'm afraid of the hourglass starting. I'm afraid of the hourglass starting.

Chests?

I need everyone to roll me a perception check. I need you to roll a 25.

What are you doing?

I got this.

Hey.

character sheet open.

Ozon notices something.

A tiny inscription on the hanging hourglass above the brassiere.

and i see what it says or just that it's a tiny inscription

It's fucking hard. You just see, you see that there's writing on the bottom of it, but it's a way above the burning brassiere and it's difficult because it's tiny writing.

All right, acrobatics time. Who wants to go on my shoulders?

I'll do it. I'll help you. I'll throw you up there. I put my hands together and then put them on my knee and then waiting for Ozo to jump.

I am a half-Nelf, so that works. Sure. Yeah, I'll go for it. Can I go like acrobatics here, Pat?

I kind of fly on still. I think I can just ferry you up there.

Well, let's try this.

Okay.

Damn, great acrobatics.

That was the R10.

kind of skill-based character, I think.

Can I can I read it with that little jump with?

What was the number that you...

21.

21?

But I'm getting help from Jake as well, who, as we know, has amazing arms.

Yes.

And he had a 20, not natural.

Yes, you can read it. And it reads...

The writing on the base of the hourglass reads, In the palm of my hand is the time left to thee. When it's consumed, will the flame set you free. And I will post that here. And I will post that in the Messenger chat.

We're trapped with a puzzle.

Where is the hourglass you said?

Seems ominous.

It's hanging above the brassiere.

Anyone have detect magic on currently?

No, I can't. I don't.

This is not to say that when this thing goes out, the dude is dead.

Yeah.

I'm asking I have to...

if we just crack that fucking thing open.

That's too easy.

Might be.

But this chest full of loot, though.

OK, but hold on. Before we go over the chest, though, Pat did say the statues look like they're following us around the room with their eyes.

with their eyes, right.

Maybe we should

blindfold the statues

Clearly, yeah.

Oh, we could tie their feet together.

I have detect magic in answer to your earlier question. I had to make sure, but yes, at will detect magic.

Oh shit.

I mean, we can see if these statues are magic.

Take a look around and this chest too.

Okay, I'm gonna detect some magic.

What do you see, Jess?

This is magic.

The fire is

The statues are magic. All the doors are magic.

Oh, shit.

There is

There are still stones in the hands that are magic.

Describe the stones.

Red, blue, black, and little bull.

Are they just stone stones?

Red, blue, black, and opal, is that what you said?

Okay. Are all the tights

Each statue has four arms, one with a shield, one with a sword, and the remaining two with their palms toward the ceiling over their heads. And so in their palms over their heads are stones.

And you see those stones lighting up in their hands.

Okay, are there corresponding... I tell everyone this, are there corresponding colors anywhere? other than their stone hands, fists,

If we take those stones out of their fucking hands, the fire is going to do something.

Because in the palm of my hand, there's time left of these. So no matter how much, so they all have a point value system, those gems do, and they're each in their hands. And I don't know what the fuck it says that the flames will set you free, but I bet you it's not going to heal us.

No, I don't think it's good cleansing flame.

Unless it's literal, where, like, the flame is this brassiere thing that's here. Like, I don't know, maybe... it opens a door or something.

Maybe it's not like awful hellfire flame.

Well, we haven't tried opening the three doors, have we? Are they locked?

We have not, to my knowledge. But...

Check for traps?

if we're going to have to fight these statues, let's just disarm them first and then do so.

Correct.

Palm of my hand is the time left to thee.

Was the chest magical too, Pat?

Yeah.

And you said a brassiere is on fire?

Like a flaming bull.

A bull?

When I'm detecting magic, do I detect types of magics? Is it all like necromancy still?

You can if you focus on it for a while.

Okay. I'm going to focus on the stones in their hands and... See about that, maybe.

The stones in their hands have...

of magic would that be? Enchantment.

Okay, what about the hourglass that I'm super suspicious of?

Enchantment.

The brazier? Enchantment.

Anybody got any health spots? I'm sitting about half health right now.

Yeah, I got one for you. Okay, so I might either be damaging a random magical item, but I like the idea of dumping this thing's sand into the fire.

How much, Sam? Just give it a little piff.

But this tent is enclosed, isn't it?

The hourglass is completely sealed and the sand is in the top portion of it and it's not running down.

Pat, I'm going to check for traps. I'm going to check for traps on the chest as well as the doors. You want one or four?

Which one are you checking first?

The chest first, the one that I'm closest to first.

Oh, yeah, individual checks. Go ahead and check the chest.

And this is a plus three when I'm doing traps. So whatever this number is. So 25.

25 for the chest. The chest is trapped.

to our number one.

OK, and then the door is 29, the door one, the left one, I guess.

or is not trapped that you can determine.

OK. And the other one is 24, metal one.

You do not think that the second door is trapped?

The final one is 22.

You are not sure if the third one is trapped.

And I'm going to disable device on the chest to disound the trap. And that works on magical traps as well.

Which is 30.

Nice fucking roll. You disable... you disable a magical trap.

Does that let you know what the trap was or do you just disable it?

I don't think we get to know what it was.

unless the ability explicitly states it.

Yeah, I think that's some magic identification thing.

If it went off, we'd get to know what it was.

it doesn't really say anything about it.

There was magic on that test that has now been disabled and dissolved away.

Unmagified.

Osons.

You do just notice that there is still some magic on the chest, but the magic on the chest no longer has enchantment on it. It now has illusion on it.

Okay, I bring this up. It's still got...

Like the outer layer was removed and now you sense there's a small Dwomer of illusion magic emanating from the chest, no longer around the chest, which was the enchantment.

OK.

Does our shield guy want to just poke at it with one of their shields just to see if it's a mimic?

Maybe.

I'll poke it with my sword.

Yomits.

Yeah.

Why would you trap a mimic, though?

I said,

As long as you have like a DC thing.

its own trap.

I climb up the wall.

See you out there.

Nice.

Everyone roll me perception.

Did you see the one on acrobatics?

Acrobatics for what?

Climbing up the wall.

Not 20.

Jess and Rich, you guys both noticed that the sand is moving in the hourglass. It's very subtle, but it is moving. It's falling. It's falling now.

Ah, shit.

Ah, shit.

You also hear the distinct sound of latches. Click.

Okay.

Okay, so do those gems have any markings or numbers on them? Do they look like dice? Do they have any etchings?

It's like a big spherical, like smooth mineral or stone that is colored.

Is it a power gem?

No, it's larger than an ion stone.

Does the hourglass have any notches on it or around it? Or is the sand colored?

Just engraving on the bottom, the stand is white and it is falling from the top of the hourglass to the bottom.

Hmm.

And I've started a timer and I'll let you guys know how much time has passed. But the stopwatch is running.

Pat, I'm going to roll an int check to solve this problem.

So other than the

What's up?

Other than the sand, has anything changed?

Nailed it.

Other than the sand and hearing four latches, go latch. Nothing has changed.

Don't check. That's the door. I already know it's the door. You don't have to check.

Yeah, let's go check the door.

Which door do you check?

top left one that we know is not locked.

Oh, darn.

Time to panic. All right, Todd does what Todd does. I'm going to start hitting this door.

Four latches? Okay, that means all the doors are locked. Fuck.

and the door on the bottom that you can see through closes and latches. Because Todd opened it before, but it's now locked.

Can I do some algebra to figure out how much time we might have by just looking at how fast the thing is moving and how much time is running?

It's been one minute and it looks to be a fifth gone.

Sweet.

So we got like four minutes, you're saying?

What are the doors made out of? Are they wood?

Stone.

Shit.

You hit the door.

Does the door have a keyhole? Oh, nice.

Boom.

I remove one of the gems from one of the guy's hand, and I place it in the other one's hand.

Okay, which two arms on each one of those dudes.

Which ones have gems in them?

Those four colors, red, blue, black, opal.

I take...

are there corresponding colorations on the doors or above or around the doors?

I take one of each from each of their hands and then put them in the other hand so they all have the same color combination.

Two minutes have passed.

I've got a scroll of knock. Do you guys want me to use it on any particular door?

Can the drawers be picked that?

Jake does that. Nothing happens. The doors have locks on them.

Back.

Oh no, there's no, there's no lock holes. It's just a latch. Yeah. There's just an internal latch.

I'm gonna try to disable device. Oh no. Oh, okay.

Got it. So there's no way to disable a device? Is that what you're telling me or can I try?

Jake, you got the stones out of their hands.

There's not unless you can magic disable it.

Okay, and that did nothing? Removing the stones from their hands? Nothing changed.

Half of the sand has been removed from the hourglass. Nothing happened when you did that, Jake.

All right, guys, which door do you want me to use it on? Left, middle, or right?

The one that Nadi's in front of.

Is there anything in the chest?

down below, going backwards.

Well, can you poke the chest? Did you poke it?

No one's opened the chest. No one's poked it.

Okay, I'm... Of the top three, what do you guys want me to choose? We shouldn't go backwards.

I throw the gems in the fire.

Come poke it to us, Jess.

Hold up before, actually no, yeah, do that first, just in case we can run.

But do the one in front of me.

I take all those gems and I throw them in the fire.

One sec, Pat. I've got to look up the rules for knock real quick.

Yep, I know. It's DC40, just so you know, because it's amazing on the chart.

I want to open.

I don't have a question. I was just saying let's try to knock first and then we can try to open the chest.

I thought you heard. I thought you said something. The sand is four fifths poured out. The wizard's looking through his spell book or something.

Well, I mean, Jess, you want to just poke this? Because we don't have that much time.

Yep. Let's open the chest.

Open the chest and poke the sword. Okay. So when you poke the chest with a sword, nothing changes or happens.

We poke with sword first.

And then we open the chest.

Okay. Once you open the chest, you see an empty trunk.

Okay. What if we put the stones in there?

But it's an illusion.

It's illusion. Dispel it. Dispel it.

Oh yeah, Dispel it. Dispel Magic, does anyone have that?

Four minutes and 37 seconds have passed.

I lift the chest up and I dump it upside down.

you lift the chest up and you dump it upside down and nothing falls out of the chest but you hear something and feel something shift do you cast knock or no

I shove my hand up there.

Yes. I'm trying to figure out what or how much I add to it. I'm going to use my ability, which adds eight to a roll.

And the golems come to life as you're casting Nock.

Let's grab this chest of them.

Like I said,

Everyone roll me initiative. You'll get the knockoff before your roll goes into an act, but the golems have just come to life.

We put bags on their heads, right? Everyone agree to that? We said that?

Yeah, and then we tied their feet together with chains.

No, we didn't do that.

Man, that's wack.

All of the sand runs out and the flames start getting really bright as the iron golems start creaking into like...

I guess an empty body. I guess an empty body before that fucking timer went out.

It's okay. You got the knockoff before they... came to life. So I've got

What is the question about NAC?

I'm adding 10 to a caster level roll, but I have another ability that I just need to see how much it will add to my roll. It will be 9, so caster level check plus 19. And I used my ability for the last time today. Where the fuck is my castor? I'll check.

I just rolled a d6 to see if my dice were correct.

I just need an initiative from Rich. We'll be good to start.

And that there is plus 19 to that.

24 plus 19. Which is...

43.

43, the door blows open. You knock right through the magical lock. Boom. Which one was that top left?

Top left.

And if it's a tough chain,

That was a hard fucking roll. DC 40. Good job.

So the door opens.

out of this room.

But these guys are alive.

You don't want to fight him?

I need an initiative roll. Oh, Rich, you rolled it. 15, okay. All right.

I mean, we could hold the door and let the fucking fire kill him.

Bro, if it moved, I could attack on the opportunity.

and then I'm going to roll for them. So this roll plus their DC for initiative or plus their initiative. Okay, so it's going to go Ozone, Rich, Gollum's Jess. Not Jake. Ozone, what are you doing?

I drink adhesive spittle, and I spit on these fools, which is basically tanglefoot, or tangle whatever. What is it called? Tanglefoot pack? Entanglement? Yeah.

Entangle.

And I, Nettie, we're just gonna, can we just like run with this chest? Let's just take the chest with us.

You want me to bring the chest with us?

I think so. You're already carrying it, right? So, just like run.

Okay.

Is there something in there? I mean, up to you, but I feel like there's something in there. It's a golden chest. It looks nice. Should we do that?

Didn't you guys ring it out and something fell and hit the ground?

I mean, I can...

There's something in it, but we don't know what it is.

No. I tried. Nothing came out, but we heard a latch pop, or the golems came to life when we picked the thing up. I will try and bring it out unless I get curb stomped by some goals.

Oh, you know as per protocol

All right, so Pat, I have a 15-foot range to spit tanglefoot basically for six rounds. And I will do my first little spit. Oh, right on this fool. Yeah, this guy. And it does not require an attack check on me.

It's going to last for 2d4 rounds. I don't know if we need to, I mean, I'll roll it anyways.

Which woo is the correct woo?

This woo by the golem.

DC. which I was trying to run away.

Jaxo has that on him, right? Or no? Is it rounds or minutes?

DC is 14.

I don't know. That's mirror image.

All right, DC 14.

on the right guy and then I'm going to

This, what's the DC? Is it Fortitude?

I'll help

That's probably reflex, right? Reflex partial.

Reflex.

All right, so this plus their reflex save.

The first one makes it. This plus the other one's reflux save makes it.

No, it's just on one of the targets.

Jesus.

Okay, so it makes it...

And then so it's for half, right?

Partial. I don't know what that actually means because I don't know how you partially get impacted by this.

It's called

I might just do one round instead of the plus extras or whatever. It's not doing damage.

Yeah, I mean, I'll look it up, I guess, for this round. We can just assume that they're not hit. And then I'm going to, you want to carry this out or what? All right, all right. I'll basically, can I use my move action to coordinate with Nuddy so I basically help him carry the thing? Just make sure that we can.

Is it heavy? Do I need coordination?

It's not like, Todd, you put your strength?

Oh yeah, he's fucking strong.

Top buff. I got 20 strength.

All right, no, then I book it. I run.

Hold on now. Maybe cover Todd.

What's your strength, though?

My strength is not strong. It's

I am dexterous.

Like at all. How does a fucking bodybuilder compare to you?

I asked that, hey, you want help with that? And then I look at him and I just went,

You know what? Never mind.

Just give them the raised eyebrow, huh?

Wait, do we have feet of 40? Is that true?

Mitch, what are you doing?

Is our one speed 40?

I think I'm going to follow my declaration and go inside this door. I don't think I've got any useful casts left.

Yeah, so I'm just going to go on inside and up the stairs away from this fire and angry golems.

then we get to fight the angry golems in the stairs.

even on a successful save, half speed for them.

away from the pyre.

Okay. So they're operating at half speed.

If they failed, they would have been stuck.

And I think that's going to have to be turn. I don't really have much to do besides head up the stairs.

Man, that's nasty. All right, so this golem and this golem both take a free action and breathe poisonous gas.

Oof, don't like hearing that.

Fuck.

Hopefully that's the nasty thing. If that's not it, then we're fucked.

I need a fortitude save DC 17. from everyone in this area here, which is basically everyone but Ozone and Rich.

I'm on the ethereal plane.

Yeah.

Yeah, 19.

I am.

Alumbra. So, and then that's it, right? Just you two? Because everyone else is... Yeah. And you're on the ethereal plane, Jake? Alright, so Todd and Alumbra, 42 saves. Todd makes it. Alumbra does not. You are poisoned. Oh, I need two saves each from you guys because there's two clouds coming out.

Whoa. Hang on. I think I remember something about, it's been a couple weeks. Give me a second.

Poison.

I might...

Because of my class, I have this thing that says I cannot be poisoned while applying slash fighting with poisons. I don't think that's the same thing as being somehow immune.

No, it's different. Yeah, you'll never accidentally poison. There's a chance you can poison yourself when you're applying poison.

There's my second roll, 11 and 18.

So Todd makes both. You fail one. You take 1d4 constitution damage.

Oof.

You take a constitution damage.

Lucky.

That D4 is so nasty, bro. That D4 counts.

It's a little bit.

So that is...

cure

It's you're, you basically you're, yeah, you're poisoned. So you have temporary until you're, until you're cured of this poison you have, and this is a cloud in the room guys. So it persists for a number of rounds and you're not sure how many rounds it persists for. And so when breathed, you'll have to make another saving throw.

as a proper heal.

And this is 1d4, so just mark it down. If it makes your constitution go underneath like 16 to 15, then you lose all the hit points that come with constitution. Like, say you're level 6, that's... You get plus 1...

plus one HP for every two above 10. If that reduces you down, like if you had just taken four points of constitution damage on that D4, you would lose two hit points a level temporarily until you're healed because that's kind of how that translates. Like it recalculates your character sheet kind of, and it's a bitch to kind of do on the fly, but that's what it does is it will affect your hit point calculation. temporarily until you're cured.

And that's only if it's brought down like a peg, right? So like if I went from 13 to 12, which is exactly what I did, I didn't go down at all.

then it doesn't, it doesn't. Yeah. It doesn't. The only thing that does is now, instead of dying at negative 13, you die at negative 12.

hit points. I think it's the only thing that I just did.

Cool. Thank you.

And it doesn't affect any of your saves or anything. Okay. Cool. Now, the Iron Golem in front of... who's nearest who is on the ethereal plane they can't see you this one moves forward

To you. This one moves through Wu. To you. You're on the Ethereum plane, so there's no tax opportunity, correct?

Correct.

and does a single attack action, one slam,

I don't like it either.

I'm going to let you know I was on this chest probably not making it out.

Todd, that's a 14 to hit.

Don't hit.

Sorry, if we run, we'll be fine. I can spit this shit for days.

Alumbra, that's a 31 to hit.

Jesus Christ.

Just put Alumbra's dead body in the chest and carry that.

That hits.

Seriously.

This plus four.

14 damage or 18 damage.

Not bad. Actually, that's brutal.

Ouch.

points you have total?

Do you mean like my Macs or right now?

Max.

35.

I think this is so I can have to you.

I mean, I had already taken a couple, so I'm actually at 11 right now. Super cool.

All right. Those are the Golems. Jess, what are you doing?

I'm taking back everything I said.

Okay, anyways, I'm taking back everything I said about staying. I'm getting the fuck out of here. That hurt. So... Running away!

Bye for the stuff. And if you run, I'll get an opportunity.

All right, teammates are in a bind. They're cutting and running, huh?

Whoa, there's too many.

Now no one's talking. If I move, I'll provoke an attack of opportunity. Is that what someone said?

If you leave its threat range, you could provoke a single attack from it.

I might be able to make an acrobatics check to...

right? I'm pretty sure. And I'm going to roll those dice because

If you have it, yeah.

You could make an acrobatics check to tumble out of its threat range without provoking an attack for opportunity, but then you wouldn't be able to full run. You could only do a single move, which would be 30 feet. I think it's worth it.

I think that's worth it. I'm going to do that. Yeah. Acrobatics.

Roll me acrobatics check.

Good luck.

Yeah.

And then moving 30 feet. Where is that? Is that like at the foot of the stairs?

is these the measurement tool is accurate so from where you were you could get right next to rich You just have to shove those out the fucking way.

It's like a bear. You just gotta fucking push him down.

I will do that.

and turn.

Nutting, what are you doing?

well, Ozan requested this chest, so I'm going to go give him this chest.

These iron golems, by the way, Nutty, they're like, as they're moving, you can tell them they're kind of rusty because they've been like sitting for a long time. So they're kind of screeching. It's like, shit.

okay, all right.

Shit.

Can I step here?

You are still within its threat range. You haven't left it. So yeah, that's not going to provoke anything.

Yeah, definitely going to promote that. 10, 15, 20,

Can I get past those on or...

If you go right to there, are you provoking an attack of opportunity or are you going to use acrobatics and only take a single move?

provoking that shit.

Wing on.

All right.

athlete hits.

Minus two penalty on attack rolls and minus four on dex as well. I think the DC is only for not being stuck. I'm just reading the tanglefoot back thing.

Oh, they have from that...

So 28, 90.

It still hits.

XO's not better.

Appreciate all the help of that one.

It's plus four. Todd, you take 18 damage.

What was your hit points at when you started?

39.

So 21?

You have the same amount of hit points as the fucking rogue, Nelly? What the fuck? What's going on with Todd?

I got fucked up.

Ro doesn't have two shields, baby. Ro don't have two shields.

I'm 54 normally. I'm 54 normally, but no.

Oh, I thought that was your max. I thought that was your max.

I must have took some fireballs.

how that chest is going to make us rich.

I go here. That's 30. If I get Pat Ozon, I'll go 35.

Yeah. Fucking run, boy.

Tie guys a streak.

Burn the thighs.

And then... And then I can...

Oh, Todd, you don't have a good vision, do you?

No, I don't have this torch. I'm going to drop the chest as a free action.

Yeah, I see that. I can look at your perspective. Your vision's pretty limited. Okay, he dropped the chest.

That's my turn.

Todd's turn. Jake, what are you doing?

Okay.

Is there a door directly in front of me?

There are four doors in this room. One of them is open.

Because I'm on the other plane, so...

Can I see any weird shit going on around me right now? Anything not... what it's supposed what it seems any illusion i guess

Can you see anything on the ethereal plane?

Yeah, like if something was illusioned on the real plane, could I see it in the ethereal?

No.

Like in what sense?

I don't think an illusion, like if you had a, if you had a, if you had a shield, but it was illusion magic to look like a dinosaur, I would see the shield, right?

You would see a ghost image of the illusion on the material plane. You're seeing kind of a, not a shadowy, but like,

Yeah, it's like you see like a black and white version that's like kind of misty of what's kind of happening and you can move through objects and pass through stuff. You're, you know, it doesn't let you like see beyond the veil in a sense. You're kind of can see beyond that. You're on a different plane, but you're looking kind of through a weird warped mirror into the material plane. But it's not like granting you true sight or anything.

Okay. Well, then I want to go and walk through this door in front of me.

Which one? Okay, you walk through the door.

Then I pop out.

And I go through the next, the next one. And then that's my turn. No. I just popped out of the door.

So you pop out,

A smooth party split there, Jake.

No, I'm just checking doors. I'll be there in a second.

Lozon, it's your turn.

But will we be here in a second? Can I take one of my glass infusion bottles that I keep around, because I'm an alchemist type, and put some of the poison in it and plug it in?

You're taking an alchemy bottle. You're putting some of the gasp

Yeah, I'm just capturing some of it. Yeah, I just want to take a sample of the poison, and then I'm going to spit on this pool, and then take a five foot step. That's the plan.

You spit. This plus its reflex save.

But there.

Oh, yeah. Nice. He's stuck.

That's it.

Rich, what are you doing?

I am going to continue up.

Carry on.

to wait here for the party right here at the edge of the thing.

I don't see you continuing up.

I moved the wrong body.

And that is all.

Okay. You reach a wall.

Dead end.

If you will.

I guess if you'll allow my turn to continue, I'm going to detect magic on that shit. See if this is an illusion.

Okay. Well, that was a – how much was that move?

That was over 30 feet because 30 feet would have just been at the top of the stairs. That's your whole turn. Yep. All right. Golems. This one's rooted in place. How many rounds?

2D4, sorry, I didn't roll it for him.

Six.

tight six rounds damn it's tight all right and this one over here is not rooted but slowed

Thanks.

Yeah, half movement and then minus two on attack and minus four on dex.

So his speed's already 20 because he's a steel golem, so it's actually 10. So a full run for this guy is 40. And then they can't do anything else. So 5, 10...

but he's not glued forever so he can make a i think dc 17 strength check

5, 10,

to break free and basically get to the state of moving at half speed.

I'm talking about the one that you half-speeded.

He's going to be half speed for him.

Five...

It's up to you.

then can't attack because that took that was basically he only has a 10 feet movement now because he's half his 20's been cut in half So he cannot attack. The other one is rooted, but will try to break free with strength. What's the DC?

I think it's the same, 14.

This plus strength?

success.

10.

What do we got here?

Just breath and hit. All right.

They're not super smart. Those are intelligence.

The attempt of trying to break free is an action for them, though. It's not like just a per-round DC check. It's something that they have to specifically try to do.

and have an intelligence score.

Yeah, he spent an action and then moved. Turn. Jess, what are you doing?

Wetting myself. I'm going to take out a cure moderate wounds and take that. so as not to die.

Awesome Sauce.

Damn, what?

Nice.

Hell yeah.

And that puts me at...

Awesome. I needed that.

How big are these guys? It's not like I can tumble between... Wow. Okay. I thought...

They're... Yeah, they're big.

I thought one was stuck.

They're just like slightly larger than a person. It was. It used strength to break out into half speed. So they can both move at 10 feet per round and attack, or they can full move in a round 40 feet and not attack.

I don't like it. Okay, I guess let's fight. So my original plan of getting behind this guy isn't going to work because his homie is behind him. So I just have to fight him head on, I guess. Which is awesome. Is that...

You're going to try to fight them like melee range?

Yeah. I mean, I'm not sure what.

But if we can, we should try to because they can't move quickly. So if we can, we should try to just range them out because I think if we're trying to melee them, we're going to die pretty fast here.

What?

Okay.

I mean, right? Because they basically have Jio with one head.

They're about to tap us in.

I'll hold the stairs.

There's nothing at the top of the stairs. It's just empty. What's the point of these stairs?

Yeah, it's a dead end.

Why would there be a dead end?

Because it's a trap. It's a well-designed trap.

Well, why would there be a trap?

All right, then we kite them all the way up, and then we kind of tumble past them, hope we survive, and then try another door.

Okay. Okay. Let me...

over it because it's a trap.

What is, like, from where I'm standing, my character is standing, is it possible to kind of dive on the other side of both of them? Like, is it possible acrobatically or otherwise to, like, end up in that room behind them?

I feel trapped.

I mean, do remember that there's an hourglass tank back there.

There's promised fire.

I thought the hourglass had already bled.

The hourglass emptied and then the golems turned on.

We're set free now.

They are our penance.

Oh, OK.

So can't like, does that look from what I'm saying, even logistically possible? Like, do they, are they tall enough to get under their legs?

You will be trapped in there with him, though.

I think you could get underneath their legs. They're that tall.

Jump over the moon.

Okay, I'm gonna do that. That seems like my best bet. I'm gonna attempt to act...

acrobatics under their legs like a tumble through them.

Hi-ya.

Fuck.

That's a crit one. That's a nat one.

You...

Yeah. You slip, tumble down, land underneath and in between both golems prone.

OK.

You are flanked by both golems on the ground.

And turn.

Nadi.

I'm P and let Jake go. I'll go after it.

Alright, now he moves to the end of the queue. Jake, what are you doing?

Pop back out. Hey. chess?

Yeah.

Uh,

Can you pull her into the Shadow Realm with you?

No, I can't.

Um,

I'll pop back in. and attack.

This one

Closest to me?

If Jess is prone, I'm not flanking, am I?

I think you still can, because you still can hit. Jess can still attack while prone.

Oh, can someone...

So she's still

And you definitely will be when I get up.

She's still threatening the square.

Let's see.

like the ankle biter I am.

Yes. Flanking requires that the other person meet two conditions. They're on the opposite side. Prone characters still occupy the same space as if they were standing, and they must be able to attack. Prone characters can still attack to this point. Yes, you are flanking that one with her because she meets those two conditions.

Fuck yeah, Jake.

Okay, what do you want? Do you want a punch or you want me to trip the son of a bitch?

Tripping seems awesome if you're capable of that.

Go for a trip.

Technically, since you're flanking them now as well, Jess, so even though you're prone, you could still attempt a sneak attack on this dude, even though you're prone. You will have a negative bonus. But as long as Jake is helping you flank...

I don't know.

I might as well. Okay.

It's still Jake's turn. Jake, are you attacking right now? Did you say you're attacking from Ethereal?

No. I'm back in.

I attempt I attempt a trip on the one in front of me. That's gonna be a combat maneuver bonus plus seven.

DC 30.

Turn.

Not it.

All right. Well...

I guess

of booked it up here, so that was kind of a lot of running. I will

You guys probably need some help. I'll come down.

30. I really can't do anything. I mean, I could full run there and just be there and give you moral support. I can just wait here.

You got any range?

Who you asking? I mean, I could throw a torch, but I feel like I'm a little low on him.

Yes, and the shield guy. If he's going to range, the shield guy.

I'd say just get up there, but...

I'll just get up there.

That's my move. All right, my turn.

Ozonmatron.

So Jake, there's nothing on the other room?

Is our only chance beating these guys?

I mean, I don't see any other way, man.

There were two doors I'll open.

Nadi, what's your AC?

24... I can go to 26 if I fight defensively. But I think it might have been a minus four to my hit.

So I plan on holding the stairway until you guys figure something.

What's your HP?

That's a good question.

That will be. 21.

So I'm pretty fucked up.

Since Nutty's next to me, can I feed him a potion?

I think I've done that with Jake before. Yeah. He's right next to me. I'm going to do alchemical allocation and feed him the potion Barkskin plus 5.

Okay.

5 AC for 2 hours, Nani?

All right. Damn. Okay.

Yeah. Tank away. And then I'm going to go take a step back behind Nutty.

And my turn.

All right. Rich, what are you doing?

Was that a plus five, you said?

29 AC.

If I go defensive, I'll go 31.

It's working now. We're good. I'm going to cast shield to bump my AC. And then I am going to

run down here to the corner and I'll take a full run next time.

And that will be my first.

Y'all go ahead.

All right, Mr. Gollum's.

This Gollum does a full attack on Todd.

which is two slams.

There has not been enough rounds for the breath weapon to re-engage. So...

Are they still holding those gems?

And Wu, when you entered the poison area in here, the poison sticks around for an additional one round. Were you in this room one round after the first time that the breath weapon hit?

No, I was in the other room.

So this is the second round. So you don't have to do a save. No one in this room has to do another save. The poison dissipates. It hits for two rounds and then goes away is what you've noticed. So it hits the round that they breathe it, and it remains for one additional round, and then it's gone. And it looks like they have a delay on how often they can use it because they have not breathed it again yet. This one does two slams on you, Nutty.

So it's this advanced rule.

This plus this.

That's d20. Okay, so roll.

They need to be separate.

Oh, all right.

Ignoring that. They need to be separate.

I was like, okay, he's throwing 36 out there.

41, huh?

There you go. 24. 31.

31 hits.

Miss hit.

And then so we've got

12 damage.

This one attacks you, Jess. You're on the ground, and it comes down with two slam attacks, full attacks to you. You have a... You're prone, so it gets a bonus to hit.

But it takes a negative to attack because of Ozone's thing you cast on it. So it's only a plus two to hit. But it still has a lot to its attack. So it's going to go... Two slams.

Does that provoke an attack of opportunity for me?

While it's attacking someone else?

Yeah.

No.

No.

Damn.

That would just be if anyone was in a brawl, everyone would be hitting attacks of opportunity every single round.

He's running by. Do you take an attack from a peak? Do I sucker punch the motherfucker as he's not looking? Yeah. One hit. Just one bop.

Yeah, I can't give it his legs. You bet your ass.

All right, so this...

Okay, so this is plus 14, not plus 12. So for the first attack, you're prone. And then the second attack, which is a natural 20.

Jesus, fuck. Yeah, both of them hit. Well, both are... M-I-K-O.

you have a lot of damage coming your way. 2d8 plus 4, 2d8 plus 4. So 19 damage.

Thank God you healed.

I'm alive. I'm back down to 11.

after the heal potion. Got it.

Yeah, I took the health potion, which gave me 19. And, you know, here we are.

So bam.

I'm at nine.

You are still flanking... the right here. Technically,

So I get an attack of opportunity.

No, but you can technically use your sneak attack damage on him from the ground if you wanted to. It's your turn. Or you get the fuck off the ground.

and get the fuck off the ground.

What's standing up is the type of opportunity, though.

That is an attack of opportunity. Yeah.

Hold on.

Can I hold on? Hold the phone. Can I take a health potion on the ground? Okay. I'm going to do that first.

Can you acrobatics while prone?

Yeah, and then can I acrobatics? Can I, like, tuck and roll?

Okay, so the short and skinny is there's no way to simply stand up from prone without provoking one. You've got to get creative. So the acrobatic skills are useless here, unfortunately.

Can you own the acrobatics while standing, though?

From what I see, you could move five feet while prone, requires a full move action,

that would allow you to essentially withdraw from combat as a full move action. And then do an acrobatics check, but that would be next turn? Fuck.

Yeah.

OK.

Just keep healing, dude. You're fine. Just keep plugging away. So clear turns, yes.

Yeah, I guess I'd just...

Just stay on the ground? No, I'm not going to stay on the ground.

He probably is just five foot behind Jake.

You'll provoke it from both.

Yeah, you need a five foot behind Jake here. You're done.

Okay, five feet behind Jake, how would I do that without provoking an attack of opportunity? Like, continue rolling...

Five foot step doesn't provoke. Right? Didn't you say?

five foot crawl.

Crowl.

If it's a full round, share to you healed.

Oh, she already healed.

Oh, yeah, you're inhaled.

wait can you go behind nutty oh no

Why can't I just continue rolling on the floor? Like...

You can't roll upstairs. It's hard. It's the hardest thing to do.

You can move five feet if you don't take any other kind of movement.

Honestly, I don't even necessarily want to move. I just want to... I almost want to take the attack of opportunity and fucking stand up.

Jess, it hurts. I'll take two. They both get one.

You'll take two.

You're going to be dead, yeah.

We'll take one from each person.

Dude, you fucking acrobatics won and tumbled down the stairs in between two giant fucking metal enemies and you're like, I'm gonna try to get up and you're like, it'll kill me if I get up.

That's why I came out. That's literally why I came up behind him. I'm like, dude, I got to take a hit.

A weird question. It's an empty suit of armor?

It's an iron golem.

So yes, kind of. It is like thick metal plating. It's not just like a hollow suit. It's like very solid looking.

He's a thick boy made out of metal. It's not just a suit of armor. You met suit of armor guy. He's around here somewhere.

That would hurt.

That guy was different.

We need you.

What?

Get off your fucking goons!

up there eating Donnie's pet.

I don't know.

I'm feeling pretty sick.

Whoa, same team now. We're on the same team.

Man, not wanting my acrobatics check really fucked me. Trying to... Do I have an option?

Go invisible.

praying is a free action.

That he's right.

They're really dumb, you said. Right? Dumb? I have, let's see here, Shadow Clone. where I create 1d4 of myself.

I'm going to do that, I think, and hope that they're like, you know, I'm going to look over there. What's that? Them?

If I cast a spell, that would be a technical opportunity also, though.

All right.

It's not. It's a supernatural ability. It's a ninja ability. Ninja trick.

It's Jutsu. The ninja creates 1d4 shadowy duplicates of herself and conceals her true location. It functions like mirror image. It uses her caster level. Its ability is a standard action. It uses the key point. It's not casting a spell. It's a standard action.

I think that's my move.

Two Iron Johnny laws about to stomp you out. Yeah. Maybe more of you.

This is it. This is it. There are three of me now in Brazier room.

Whenever...

you are attacked or the target of a spell that requires an attack roll, there's a possibility that the attack targets one of your images instead. If it's a hit, roll randomly to see whether it was actually you or the figment. If it is a figment, it's destroyed.

Okay. So are you rolling for that?

Or, I mean, as far as, okay.

We'll see. We'll figure it out when that happens. Yeah. Cool. All right. Good move. Nutty, what are you doing? Oh, you're at the end of the queue now.

You can crawl five with that if you want still.

No, because if you withdraw, like, safely...

No, just as her actual movement, not as a five foot step. She would provoke attack of opportunities, but with the Shadow Clone, I think it's better than taking full attacks.

You could just crawl 30 feet right now and provoke attacks of opportunity while Shadow Cloned and hopefully survive the ordeal, is what Nettie's saying.

Yeah, because if they full attack you, that's at least two attacks you're going to take.

That's a key part at the end there.

Like, all your shadow clones are going to be fucking gone on the next attack anyway. Most likely. Not necessarily, but, like, it gives you a shield for, like, one round of fuckery is, I think what he's trying to communicate. And you might as well use that to escape.

It'll at least give you the chance to be out of your situation.

And both of them are at half-move speed, so they can only move 10 feet and then to strike.

I just don't know what the point is of going up the stairs. I'm not sure the way out is that way since it's

Well, I mean, you can go just to be out of the situation you're in. Anywhere is better than there.

Oh, it's just muddy.

Yeah, Nadi has very high AC. He's going to be a great tank player.

Yeah, I'm only at nine health though. So I get hit by one natural 20.

I can help with that next round.

Oh fuck, that is at nine health. Oh god. One hit, dude.

I've been that does sound like a good move like they're probably going to hit me next turn anyway like you say let's crawl out

Autobots crawl out sneakily like.

Autobots, crawl out.

Autobots scatter!

Cheese it!

Which way do you crawl?

No worries. All right. So when you crawl away, You got the full 30 feet?

Yes.

Wait, are you able to feed people potions and shit? Do you still have, like, can we just, like, stand behind Nutty and just buff him?

Let me do the measuring.

Oh, yeah. No, I don't need to move the full 30. That's true. I'm going to move next to you.

don't think you can crawl a full 30. I think you have a reduced speed per round when you're crawling.

It has to at least be half or something.

Probs. That makes sense.

I think at least half... I'm going to look up crawl speed because that just doesn't make a damn sense.

No. Full boost speed at 30? No.

But I'm sure you can. There's crawl and there's fast crawl. Okay. While prone, you can move at half speed. Oh, that's the benefit. Normally is you can crawl five feet as a move action. That's it.

Half speed. Oh, no. That's fast.

I'll be enough I think there is a feat like fast crawl.

So you can go five feet when you're crawling.

I mean, so the biggest five feet would be behind Jake. So I don't think you can get behind me.

You can get, basically, you can crawl right in front of the other golem, right in front of Nutty.

She can go right here though, right? Behind Jake.

Or she could go...

Yeah, or she can go behind Jake.

Okay, that actually seems probably like the move. Now that I know...

You can crawl behind Jake or you can crawl next, right in front of Todd.

Yeah, I'm gonna go behind Jake. Sorry, our laptop's being really glitchy. Therefore, this is

Yeah, that's perfect. Perfecto.

You crawl there. and you provoke two attacks of opportunity. They trigger...

your Shadow Clones. So the first one is

We're still playing from happens. right? Because you're moving away. No, you're not playing when it happens. It's just a regular one. So roll first one. Boom. What's your armor class? Never mind, it's a natural 20.

19

Alright, so that one critical hits. Don't worry about that plus 8. That was an exploding die setting. But it's still a natural 20. What's your AC?

19.

that does confirm and then the next

Wait, don't you have to? Did you already do the Shadow Clone thing?

Oh, that's right. So that critical hit that confirms on the Shadow Clone, but that wouldn't have mattered, then Romy, Jess, you have access to the dice roller very easily on your tablet.

Could hit a clone.

Can you roll me a D? Do you have three of you? I'll just roll a D3 here.

So four total.

Roll a D6 and then have it?

So there's four of her total. There's three clones, one player or her.

And then wait, you're, yeah, so you're five, six, one, two, three, four, five, six, clone, you, there you go.

Wait, no, she has three clones. So she has three clones plus her. Yeah.

Wait, but I have three clones.

You have four, so there's four total? Okay, cool. So do a D8. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and you're seven, eight.

Wait, hold on. But that would mean I have five clones, right? Sex clothes? I am so confused. Okay.

You made three clones?

Okay, so...

this. On seven or eight it's you.

So the natural 20 hit you and didn't hit a clone.

That's bullshit.

Do you want to point that?

What are they for? I have no fate points. Remember when I rolled like a one on my health and decided to fate point it and then rolled another one on my health? Yeah, I do.

And then, so the critical hit is for the first attack is,

I have a paid point. So I have three, I think.

I'm going to roll.

have three faith points.

You want it?

Yeah, I'll fake point. Which one should I do? I should probably do the 1d8, right? Because that plus 12 is, yeah, I'll fake point that.

Probably the clone, yeah.

Thanks, Ozan.

I'm still going to roll the damage and double it as if it went through just to see if it would kill you.

Yeah, I'll still fuck the clone up over it.

So roll a D8 and see if it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6. It's a clone. The damage would have been this doubled.

22. Would that, could have killed you?

I would have had six HP left.

Oh shit, I just wasted my fate more than that.

Well, I mean, there's still the other golem, though.

And then the other attack, yeah. All right, so Fate Point got used. You have two leftos on. And...

So that's a minus one clone, right?

the

22 damage went to the clone. Boom. Now we're rolling a D6. The other one rolls to hit. And

hits, and now roll me a d8, or d6, and it's 1, 2, 3, 4, it's a clone, 5, 6, it's you.

five six it's you and then it does 2d8 not doubled like last time so just regular

So you did save Rozon.

Eight damage.

Wait, no, I didn't. I should have had one HP.

What are you at?

You were at 11, Jess, but then you drank a potion. Is that what happened?

Yes, I took a potion so I'm at 27 and minus eight I'm at 19.

Do you take a potion or do you shadow clone?

She took a potion a while ago, like when she was in the stairs.

All right, so you're at what?

Wait, so hold on. I'm confused. I thought I was at 19.

Okay, now you're at 19, and then you just took eight.

No, I need it.

Catch it.

I'm confused. I'm so confused. I thought I was at 19. If...

You just...

So it was a either I take a health potion on the floor or I shadow clone situation.

I don't know. You were at 35. You took 18. You got 19 hit points. You took 19. Shadow clones of standard action. And then you shadow cloned and then you moved.

I thought I did both.

Okay, so... Hold on.

You couldn't have drank in the potion and shadow cloned and moved is what I'm saying.

So the potion giver...

So I think you were at 11, and you didn't gain the points back, and then Shadow Clone. So you would have been at negative 11 had Ozan not Fate-Pointed you, and you took the previous one, and now you took eight, so you're at three. Yeah.

So I'm at three.

I am at three. There we go.

Single-digit life, but...

Yes, Ozone's fate point did prevent you from going unconscious.

So that happens. That concludes all of the attacks of opportunity from the shadow clone on the floor, crawling five feet, taking them. You still have two duplicates left. You are no longer in between them. You're behind Jake, and it is Nettie's turn. Nope, Nettie was at the back of the queue. It's Jake's turn.

All right, here we go.

Spending a pool point for my kaipool beating my natural attacks with energy I'm gonna choose

electricity

I'm on fucking full swing. The one in front of me.

That's a lot of dice.

And that's one, two, three, four. What hits?

Are all those accurate points?

Okay, so miss, and what's the follow-up? 35. Is that 35 to hit?

Yeah.

35 hits.

That's 1D6 electrical damage.

And seven.

Too electric, I think. Is that what you said, Jake?

So what's the total damage?

7 normal, 2 electric, and if I'm reading this correctly...

For any number of rounds, half to my level. So every round he takes 1d6 electrical damage. For three rounds.

So nine damage plus a dot.

It's going to keep hitting.

Seven plus the dot this round, which is nine, and then three more rounds, he'll take the dot. Okay, 9 damage.

Nani, what are you doing?

Holy fuck, dude. 35 hit.

I will go...

That was a 19...

So his AC is above 20.

I'll go fighting defensively. So I get a plus 2 to my AC, but a minus 4 to my attack. And then I will punch this man.

with good old-fashioned clang.

Minus 4. 13 pet it's 13 hit

That's a 17, isn't it?

Well, it's minus four. Because I fight defensively now.

That's where I go. But my AC is now 31.

All right. Hold on, what are you doing?

I'm going to go beat my...

Warrior, some healing potion.

I guess I need to click that. I'm going to feed Nutty your moderate wounds. Which is 28 plus six, I believe.

Cross your fingers, Nutty.

Oh, that's pretty good. Pretty good. 19.

Damn great. 19 plus 9.

And I spend the rest of my turn whispering, sweet, nothing's into his ear.

Keep on keeping on.

All right, I'll take it out, but you guys need to start killing some things.

Yeah, that's the part I'm worried about. I feel like we can probably hold off, but I don't know if we can actually...

If I'm outputting nine damage a punch, I don't fucking, I don't know, man.

That was a 35%.

But you should be able to, you can reach above 20 normally, right? Actually, can you? What do you have to, oh man.

I need one to be flanking so I can get some bonuses.

Nuttie is blanking this guy, so why don't you just go for him?

I'm flanking.

Yeah, well, he's in a doorway.

diagonal punches.

You got some legs. Throw a kick over there. Bend it and stuff.

Technically, Nutty, I think you're flanking him too. I mean, he's flanked. So if Jake can actually get in there and punch him, I don't know. But...

I can't threaten that golem, though. I can't hit him. I don't have that kind of reach.

But you can threaten this golem. And Jake, are you threatening this golem?

I might, yeah, I can tell you.

Yeah, so he's flanked.

I need next round. I got an idea.

So this guy's flanked. So that's 17, Nutty? That's 17? That was like a 19.

Can be there.

Miss.

I have a solution ready for the reach.

You give me reach. I mean, I could threat him, but all that will allow was... Jake to hit another golem.

So I'd save it. I don't need to threaten the other golem. Wait, which one did you have for seven, Jake?

No one in front of me.

That's soon. Well, I mean, we can just focus this guy.

Because you can hit him from where you're at, right?

Have you been doing minus two on their, because they have minus four penalty to their decks, which should impact their AC.

that's true. I have not been making that differential. So that's,

Pat, let me know what's that 19 hit for, huh?

19 still misses.

That's close.

Where are we at?

Top of the queue? No, Ozan just healed me, right?

I think I just finished, yeah. I just did.

Okay, so it's rich.

Richard, it's your move.

Well...

to cast mirror image.

so I get three.

Level 15 escape mage.

Our man's back there buffing himself, bro.

And I dropped down behind that. I'll be in next one.

Sweeties retreat. Tell apart. Tell your story.

No, I had the dice roll with Seth wrong. Again.

Two full attacks, Todd. This plus 12.

That's a one.

He's going to see if he confirms it. Here at 31. This was 12.

What's that plus 12? 20.

27.

27.

Seven. Miss. Critical fumble.

This plus 12?

which is just a mess.

So Mismitts with one critical fumble.

What do we see?

The critical fumbles. He rolls a...

24.

I think that's instant death.

On the fumble table? That's Trip.

Roll a Dex save or fall.

I roll the dex save.

False. This one is on the fucking ground.

Is that prone to negative four? Because we might be able to do, we might be in business right now.

Negative 4 and flanking, so that's negative 6.

This one attacks you, Jake. Miss plus 12.

18.

I'm at 24.

This was 12. Second attack. 24. Hit.

this plus 4,

12 damage.

That included the penalty for the tangled foot.

for his AC or for it to hit?

to hit minus two on attack.

Miss.

Thank God.

Thank you for reminding me. You do not take 12 damage. All of those are misses.

Thank God.

I was on the secret savior.

Dude, it counts.

Yeah, it does.

Jess, what are you doing?

Okay, I'm going to stand up and I'm going to take this health potion.

Hell yeah. Bringing me up to 20.

20 very exciting times.

And then I'd kind of like to...

I'd like to move

So then I'm on the other side of this. Golem guy, but like without provoking an attack. So I'd like to circle, you know what I mean? Arc around him. I don't want to deal with none of that.

Attack of opportunity, sucker punch nonsense.

I already took potions, so...

You walked from outside of his threat range...

That's what my attempt is.

into its threat range.

Are you still in this? Into his threat range.

I was going to

Or are you walking around his throat range?

Well, I mean,

Let me reassess actually.

Where do you want to be? If you want to be in a start range, then you're good.

I'd like to flank him, is the idea, so that we get flank damage. But... Yeah, but I also...

You'd have to be in the start range.

Yeah, you got to be in the start range to find him. Or he has to be in yours.

But I can also wait until next round so that I don't provoke an attack of opportunity this round.

Or just you could heal me.

You won't... You don't provoke an attack of opportunity for entering his threat. Just leaving.

You won't provoke an attack.

So you don't have to go. You can like 5 foot next turn if you want to stay out of his threat range and then just 5 foot in next turn if you want to attack him.

Yeah, and we're working on the guy who just got dropped right now, for sure.

You just can't do any other move when you do a five-foot action. Five-foot... Five-foot... Five-foot...

going to be able to do anything else this turn anyway. I was just kind of like poising myself. The guy that's prone is on the staircase, but like there's still this guy here. Like, are we just going to ignore him or chisel at the most?

Jess, I'd stay behind me and pour potions in my fucking mouth, dude.

Because I'm about to go down. I'm at 23. I almost took 13.

That's not a terrible idea. It is my last cure moderate wounds, I'm pretty sure. Let me do a double check on that.

Jake's taking the hit, so you don't have to.

Are you in good hands?

I want you to pour potions down my mouth.

No.

It will not be my final person. It will be my second to last.

Can you fly? Use magical powers?

Hi, I'm Jake Vance. I'm a monk and I need your magical powers.