Transcript

I got a character fully rolled for that motherfucker that I made. It's great.

What level are we in game? Are we level eight?

Level seven.

I made Ty's character level eight

Damon Donovan.

I made Kai's character to level eight.

That's actually pretty cool. That's nice of you. Give me a little ahead.

And the DM, we accidentally fucked up whenever we wanted to make the characters, so there's two of them in here. One with just a name and then one completed, so delete just gang whenever you go in, but not gang-o. It's imperative that you delete the right one.

Yeah.

Oh God, it's such a bitch to recreate those.

Yeah, so I'm not deleting any. So you'll just pick that one and we got a backup.

Okay. Even though the backup's not done anything with it, so...

Oh yeah, man, this is Liduriel.

It's an old multicultural Sandy town where they hold the magic carpet death races.

Is that the name of it? Multicultural Sandy Town?

Oh, shit.

No, that's my little flyer on the side. That's your technique.

Do I rep Temple? Temple's my set. Dude, T-Gang, what's up? Where we at?

Ain't nobody.

Gang block on the Baker Lake. What's up?

Right, exactly. You know, we represent the one, two, one, three, the Tesla plant.

Shout out to all my engineers in the factory.

Richard's not answering. I'd say we'd tell him.

He's not answering. Yep. I agree with that.

He clearly made the mess up here.

Stand up.

Diego, what's your name?

Yeah. It's about time you woke up.

There we go.

Oh, we got a nose on.

What's happening?

No, we defuse that situation.

Not before somebody was about to cast a spell on that.

We stopped that. He was very serious about casting the spell just on principles of...

Who do you want? Connor, put the guns down, man. All right. Just calm down. All right. In this chat, we ask questions first before we shoot. What are you, a cop?

You've got to tell them if you're a cop.

Where the fuck is your son at?

I haven't talked to you in about seven years, but don't ask questions. Where's Nutty?

She's like, you know what I'm talking about, bitch.

Yeah, exactly. Don't play fucking dumb with me. I said no cops.

give that bitch the run around

No, I hope she's okay.

Damn, what kind of fucking cover-up is Derrygate?

Since this is an all-inclusive city, it's to keep the diversity in, not out.

Hey character, you a big old shark guy, what you got?

Yeah, I created a race just to see if I could, and we'll see how it works out. It's based off of Gang Orca, if you've ever seen My Hero. I'm a large-sized, monstrous humanoid classed as a Blood Rager.

You said an orca?

Yeah.

It's like a werewolf.

Half Orca. Yeah, half Orca.

I don't know what you would call it.

So half Orca, half what?

He's like a humanoid.

A humanoid orca.

humanoid.

Nobody said he's out tonight.

Well, damn. Something must be going down.

Plus with one of my bloodlines, one of my feets is an enlarging feet, but pushes me up to the next class size. So we'll see how this goes.

What kind of weapon do you have?

What about Rich and Jess?

No word from that. My friend, you call Rich, no answer and just send my phone to my

No word from them. I tried to call Rich, no answer, and just didn't respond to my texts.

Any scythe and celestial armor.

Wait, Scythe or Cy? Scythe?

right as you guys are standing outside and yelling and screaming and arguing you What's your character's name? Ozone?

Frankie's arguing with the robot about the deal that the robot just squandered and the robot does not understand the gestures or anything like that in common. You see two figures descending from the sky.

I need everybody to roll me perception and arcane checks.

First one.

How do you know perception?

perception.

It's a skill, so I don't know if we ever actually put in your skill point, but you just go down to the skill and click it.

You just go down to the skill and... Wait, perception and what?

And Arcane Knowledge, probably.

Arcane.

Oh, got it. Got it. Okay.

Knowledge arcane.

And yeah, and Vasi, don't worry about that. Everybody else has got it. If they don't get it, then don't worry.

15 and 24.

remember my character sheet's bugged. My perception's plus 13.

Then Romeo 20 plus 13.

Jimmy.

in our counter.

All right, these two figures have a blue tint. And they're slowly dropping right to the ground as if they're basically flying

I assumed you were all huddled around watching Ozon Yell the Robot.

Oh, absolutely.

When they touch the ground, one of them says, It's like, hi, I'm investor thornshade. This is investor iron soul. We are from the TIU and we actually have procured knowledge that the Dyson Dynamo is literally in this vicinity and in one of your party members actually bags. We know you have it.

I ask him if his soul is as cold as iron or if his soul is like, it's just like, I start saying that to him. I start asking about his soul.

Russell's none of your concerns, sir.

Ladies and gentlemen, we stand here as a principle of actually a critical juncture. The artifact known as the Dyson Dynamo holds power behind our comprehension. It's a power that if it's wheeled by the wrong hands, it could actually unravel the fabric of reality.

Do you mind providing me

Do you mind providing me with some identification?

He flips out his badge. He flips it back real quick.

I asked him about

I'm sorry, I didn't catch a good glance at your badge. Can I see that again?

Of course it is.

He's like, son, you don't want to do that.

You see,

You know, I've never heard of this Dyson dynamic she referred to.

Roll bluff.

Are you bluffing? Have you heard of it?

I've never heard of it.

That's a 23.

He yelled, He holds out his hand. He's like, we understand. And he's like, we understand. And then he goes into his pocket and he pulls out his notebook real quick and he looks down at it. We understand the possession of such an artifact may be unintentional, but the ignorance cannot be an excuse. The Dyson Dynamo is the key to the Transplaner Gateways and its unregulated possesses is a threat to the stability of the existence of this realm.

And he starts looking at all your faces.

Roll wheel saves.

Oh, whoops.

Where is that?

It's right under where it says major.

It's right under where it says flat-footed on the main shirt.

So you got your stats underneath that. It says,

Oh, there. Oh, well. Oh. OK.

It's a plus six also.

I'm going to roll...

I'm going to roll knowledge local to see if I know any of the local laws that have to do with police detainment before I start talking to this guy.

Are there any guards around that saw this?

That's fair and correct. Good sir. Always be on the backside.

I mean, Pat, no murder, no rape. No stealing. Basically, all the general rules of a mystical multicultural city basically have any...

Can I ask this guy if he's aware of the safeguards of the freedoms of individuals from unwarranted tainment by law enforcement?

And.

yes, I am aware, but the laws on this plane don't abide by me. And he looks at Iron Souls. He's like...

Oh, so you're telling me that I could be unjustly detained without irrefutable evidence of direct threat to the balance of law?

It's not a war crime if it's the first time.

I mean, if you are in possession or you have not... I have knowledge of the item, of the dynamo. Yes. Yes, you are. You...

I've been detained.

Am I being detained?

is causing a scene, I roll a sleight of hand to try and take a peek at his badge.

Oh, no.

I yelled guards!

16.

16.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's go slow.

Let's go slow.

Is that a initiative?

To take a peek at his badge?

I try and pick his pocket for his badge.

Your hand goes right through him.

What the fuck is an illusion? He's not one of us. Disbelief.

These people ain't real.

And then he grabs your hand.

Oh, wow.

Read the spell.

And he says, you don't want to do that, son.

wait can I can I do one of my spells can I do detect thoughts

It lets me listen to his surface thoughts.

Let's relist our surface.

Cast it.

It's guest.

Yep, cast.

So he's got a frog's hand in one hand. What is he thinking?

hand and hand.

What's your will save?

Or what's the... Yep. No, not yours.

My video will again? No, you don't have to do the will. There could be...

No, you don't have to do will. There should be a saving throw for the spell. No, I don't think so. Not for detect magic because she casts out your detect pot. She casts out the spell from

I don't think so. Not for the technology. She casts it off your tech pot.

Is it detect thoughts or detect magic?

No. It's detect thoughts. I'm casting it on the, on the dude so I can figure out what he's thinking.

What's the DC?

Saving throw will negates.

So what's the DC?

So it's at level...

Level of a spell is two plus your modifier plus ten.

plus seven plus ten so 19. Is that right? Or is it skill modifier? What's the witch's skill? Wisdom?

What?

It's going on.

Yeah, your ability to score.

No, that's the thing. It's int. So 4 plus 2 plus 10.

It's int. So 4 plus 2 plus 10.

Don't worry about it. You don't got it.

16.

We got it.

No, you don't. He rolled his will save.

upon doing that he immediately he immediately says okay lock it down and he looks at he looks at iron so he goes secure the area and he goes any more magic acid will be thought as a complete attack and an act of aggression we are only here asking questions and we are only here gathering information

We were just trying to get the answers to the real questions here.

to the request or the request.

You were trying to look at my badge and detect my thoughts.

Can I cast memory lapse and make him forget that she did that?

Roll initiative.

Ashlyn goes at the end.

Well, five.

I need to roll initiative too.

No, you're at the end. He's doing it after you.

Oh. Okay, so I'm the last player, Amy.

fucking time cops, man. Nobody likes time cops.

We're killing cops.

You know what? We're not letting the time cops on the boat under my fucking watch, okay?

That's fine with me. That's cool with me.

Just wanted to ask a couple questions. Motherfucker started complaining about their rights and knowing their abilities and shit.

Yeah. You try and figure out what your rights are and the cops draw their guns, man. I don't know what to tell you.

That's true. Yeah, it's very accurate.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Neuralizer. I'm a neuralizer, this motherfucker.

Well, Pat, you caught him and I'm going to say you catch him in the middle of the speech.

Is there...

Do you.

DC 17.

That's right. That's right. He forgets what happened from casting the spell at the beginning of the last turn. He doesn't even fucking know she tried to cast that shit.

that's, Bro, that's plus nine.

Damn. Damn. Never mind. Never mind.

do you guys see my initiative telling me that i don't have a token

Yeah, it says that for me.

Yeah, it's all that for everybody. All right, it's all for me too.

That's 10 plus 4. Or 4 plus 10.

That's plus nine. Oh, I have to get the fuck out of here.

That guy's strong as fuck.

Jesus. Oh my God.

So he does remember everything then.

thor bright he thorne blade he looks at his apprentice and he goes hostile area he's like dynamo's close He's like, Presumably you're locked it down. He goes, okay, I'm going to ask again. We understand that the possession of this artifact is intentional. And he looks at all of you with wide open eyes.

Can I attempt to defuse the situation with diplomacy?

I did not cast anything on him yet.

Not yet.

what was that it was like

Roll initiative, Ozone.

But I mean, talking is a free action.

Not when it's an initiative.

Yeah, even in initiative.

Yeah.

Think I'd give a monologue on my rights if it wasn't a free action? Fuck no.

Yeah, dude. Try doing that when a cop's beating the fuck out of you. How about that? How about that? How about that? No, officer. Yeah, what did Floyd say, dude? Get out of here.

That sounds like fun.

Pretty sure resisting arrest is a free act.

Ozon, what you got?

Can I diplomatize with this guy?

Yeah. All right, so I'm going to... Just try to chill the situation down. Whoa. No one's done anything offensive. We're just trying to also get some answers here. Why don't we...

What are you saying?

Offensive, sir, there's been spells cast here. We came here on a diplomatic mission ourselves. As one diplomat...

I mean, clearly you're casting spells here, so, you know, we're just reciprocating.

We casted no spells. We came in here. We projected. We projected.

I don't know how the fuck you're flying then.

I'm applying that you and your party. What's your name, sir?

through the air from another plane

Alright, let's get out of this carpet shop. Why not? Right? Let's go somewhere quiet maybe because this is a sensitive topic, yeah?

What?

We'll all go together.

Oh, it's on. Roll your diplomacy. Let's see how good you do. This is going pretty good.

That's okay. Yeah.

So obviously you have the information I need.

Obviously.

You know where the item that we seek is.

You know I know.

Step outside.

Do you know any spots here? We're kind of new to this town. It seems like you know your place or you know the place.

I could give a care lesson. This whole town burns. The only thing that we are here for is the location and the people, in fact, in possession of this artifact. And if it is a couple miles down, then we will go a couple miles down. But we are here on a mission post haste.

Yes. So you know about what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go down to the town that burned. That's what I'm trying to say. We saw it in the, do you know about that town? What was the town's name?

No, now, like right now. So let's go.

No. We track the item. It's either here or it is just leaving here. I don't know where I have no idea what fucking town. We only know the locations. And that's not and that's not and that's not something that you need to know in the first place. So point me in the direction that we need to talk right now.

I mean, let's hypothetically say

Are you supposed to be a detective?

Let's say hypothetically we do know where this thing you seek is. How do we know that you are on the right side of this when I can't even get a good glimpse at your badge?

Let's say hypothetically, we do know where this

How do we know that you are on the right side of this? I can't even get a good

Are you a traveling doppelganger by chance?

I spit on his feet.

If this is as important as you say it is, then how do I know that you're not going to destroy the world with said thing?

What was that, Connor?

I said, I spit on his feet.

Roll initiative.

Connor.

Fuck cops.

You're trying to talk and you start spitting on people.

I was going to hit him.

Hey, didn't you try to cast a spell? Didn't you cast a spell? I don't want to hear shit.

was a harmless one and there was no there was no harm involved

Are you guys evil?

I ask as a paladin.

I'm lawful evil, but I don't know if these guys are the law or not.

It's at will.

remember what I am. I'm somewhere in the middle.

No, I'm asking if the time travels are evil.

Are the time travelers evil? in the context of detect evil.

They're not time travelers.

You know what I mean.

Want me to cast Detect Evil?

You know what the fuck I'm talking about. Loose lips over there.

That was the question. Are they evil, neutral, good? Actually, are they evil or not?

You travel time, space and time are the same thing. It's all relative, motherfucker.

Are you casting Detect Evil? Or do you have a Detect Evil aura?

Yes, I have detect evil at will.

I detect evil.

I believe Frankie here

I believe Frankie here just detected evil.

Connor, yeah. Thank you.

Vicky, are you going to tell me if there's people here?

Connor, what's your AC?

Oh, I thought it was almost casting Detect Evil.

No, you were spitting on his feet.

AC's 10. AC's 10.

Your AC is 10.

Wait, Connor has an initiative four. How's he interrupting here?

No, it's 13 because it's...

Okay, well, mine was 19, Jake.

Well, you're talking and that takes up time. And then we're walking because, you know, you're walking and talking like a walkie talkie.

and I talk and take a standard action in a round,

Well, you're saying direction already passed. That was you initiating it.

Connor wanted to interrupt the flow of initiative. He came into the initiative.

and I interrupt his initiative right now.

No, you cannot. Because he spit on the feet and then he was actually...

We're not actually in initiative yet because I believe I would go first. Actually, me and Oz on our team. I know those are Wilson.

Well, the investigators rolled a four and the other one rolled a natural one. So they, Iron Soul went last.

So when Conor spit on the foot, he's getting punched in the gut.

I unbuckle my pants and I bend over.

But I'm getting punched in the gut.

You know, it turns work like everyone does everything at the same time, so...

I mean, you kind of deserve it. You spit on somebody's feet, you're going to get punched in the gut.

My AC should be 17 because I'm wearing chain mail.

While you're talking to him, Connor's written on the street.

What is it?

I'm still not sure. My AC is 27. 10 plus 17.

No way.

I'm wearing a chain vest. It's base 10, right?

Vase is 10. Chain Vase is 4. Maybe.

The chainmail AC16. And it's a plus one chainmail.

No, Gmail's not successful.

If it's above 15, then you don't get hit.

Chainmail is a plus six.

Insurts right now.

Chainmail.

in mail.

Are you wearing a chain mail or a chain shirt card?

a chain mail or chain shirt.

I'm wearing that to say as Raymond.

The plus one chainmail is attuned to a particular ocular mystery. It contains an extra revelation

Okay, so you have seven armor bonus from that.

You have seven armor bonuses.

So 17.

So what's that total?

70.

He's 17.

17.

Control low. As you, as you, as you, as you spit on his boots, his lackey with a long ponytail goes up and punches your gut. Doesn't do a damn thing. But nothing but a clank. the fist basically tries to materialize as it hits you. And like it punches you. You don't feel an impact. You just see it impact. It doesn't hurt. It's nothing. And she says, watch your fucking step.

And right as that happens, bouncing from the bar next door. Looks like a pretty big-ass giant orca.

comes over and starts arguing about diffusing customers boss take it away

Start arguing about what? Diffusing customers?

from yeah from the business Making a lot of noise.

What's going on here? You know, hurting my business.

Gentlemen are trying to accuse us of a crime. We did not come in.

On what basis do they form these accusations?

Well, there was a building that was blown up, or a town.

We're trying to figure that out ourselves, actually.

Thornton looks at you, he's like, listen, he flips his badge, it's got a T-I-U, and a nice little golden crescent with two moons on it, and he flips it really quick.

I don't know what that means.

I also pull out a piece of cloth and flip it open and close. Like, yeah, I'm the sheriff in

He's like...

I tell the guards to take their false or baseless accusations elsewhere.

And he goes, Torche, he looks at you and he goes, Clock the sky too.

What's your name?

Help, we're being oppressed.

Ha.

It's a pretty busy street. A couple people hear you. A couple people turn around.

Mike?

Oppression is a big thing here, man.

I know, I know.

As the market riles, a couple of people start turning around and looking like, what do you mean? And they just look around seeing a couple of phantoms. Looks pretty weird.

What's your name, sir?

My name is Gang.

And you own or bounce this bar. Jesus Christ. He's like, how big boy are you?

I'm 14 feet tall, 1500 pounds.

You ever had an ass whooping?

Not lately.

Not since, but he was a calf.

Nale!

Why are you going to give me one?

I don't know.

Nope, we're off the hook.

My bad. My bad. The button's right there. Yeah, he pulls off to the side. And he says, everybody hold it clear. I'm about to teach a big old orca lesson.

Okay.

Do we roll for initiative? What are we doing here?

Yeah, roll for initiative.

Plus three.

So 14.

Take it away. Tag out a 12.

He holds his hand. He does the frat boy stance. So he sits there and he has his arms open. And he's kind of backing up. And then immediately he ignites both of his hands. And then you see just giant electric fucking blue pointed lights come off both of his hands.

Come at me, bro.

He ignites them with a quick draw.

And then he dashes at you for two strikes.

So he strikes me twice, what do I need to roll for that?

He's going to try.

He's got to roll against your AC.

And that was plus six, so 17.

And if I just click Armored Class, it'll show you my AC.

Yes, sir.

Yeah. Yeah, that's not going to hit. Go ahead, let's turn.

After he fails to hit me, I bite. I bend down and I bite his head.

I've never seen a 36 armature.

31 to attack.

Roll to hit.

Which one is that?

What? He rolled 31.

Yeah, it hits.

For 8 damage.

We's about to get in a fight.

He'd bite his shoulder and immediately just bite down and just crunch that shit and it goes... into the gel and into his being and right in his shoulder and he just fucking crunches down

He lets out a pretty fierce grunt.

It's the end of my turn, isn't it?

Yep, pretty much.

I'm trying to look up an ability right here.

All right, he takes a five foot step backward. And then tries to do a flurry on you.

Nothing. Damn, this guy's dusted.

He tries to just go ahead and do a nice little whirlwind with both of his blades. His apprentice is still watching him. Just completely unimpressed.

As he swings and he just misses your giant ass body. He's just doing a whole bunch of whirling dervish bullshit around you. Go ahead.

As he misses, I use a natural attack, a natural weapon, I use my claws.

You fucking double him up and just beat him in the goddamn ribs. Every single time you're clawing and punching him, you can just see him shunting. Because they're all a shade of light blue. Every time you hit him, it becomes light blue. You get to see an image of what he actually is. And all the colors that he actually has. And so you just see this like this distortion.

That's a fucking doppelganger, guys. We got ourselves a doppelganger.

No, well, not necessarily a doppelganger. You just see, like, his actual form.

He's a men in black doppelganger.

And he takes those hits and he grunts again.

I asked him if he's had enough.

He takes a couple of steps back. He's like, I've had enough.

Then I say...

You're stronger than I thought. I got work to do. You own me. I'm not here for you. I'm not here for any of this shit. I'm here for what they have and what they own.

Then if you really want this to be over, you'll show these kind people your badge in detail and move it away from the front of my bar.

He...

Bye, Blige.

I obliged completely.

quite a warrior i didn't i didn't i'm sorry my ego got the best of me i wasn't in my right colors He's like, I'm investigator Thorne shade. I am from the T I U.

He's like, here's my badge. And he throws it to Donnie. It's in pristine condition.

Hmm.

That's a little bit suspicious right there. He's been on

Yeah, it's...

What do I notice about this badge?

Like I said, you notice the engraving on it. Nice and gold. With a giant U. It gives out his ID number and his title.

Which is what?

The knowledge on the badge.

I mean, you haven't

It's not from this material plane. You haven't seen a badge like this before.

But I mean, as far as you know, it looks legit.

It has his district on it. He's from Chrome. It's a city in the material plane or in the astral plane.

He's got his home and it's the investigators he's in charge with. He's in charge of about like four investigators. Iron Soul...

Fuck the hospital playing, man. I don't want to go back there.

Ha.

We've ran from the time cops before, okay?

Iron Soul is one of them.

He's the head of the investigation of eternal affairs.

Can I get a sense of motive on this guy? I just kind of want to know what he's actually trying to do.

Yeah, roll it.

Maybe he's trying to

Plus nine, so 15.

That's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, like, dude, his motive's tight. He ain't landing nobody. He's out here from a mission from God, wings of angels.

So we know he's not trying to destroy the universe.

He's a paper chaser, dude. He's just doing his fucking... He's just doing his call-out. You...

We know he's not. He's on a job. But whoever he works for, that's a different story.

I don't know what the fuck the TCU is.

Yeah, I mean, and also fuck cops.

Is there some sort of reward for this Dynamo thing?

No, there's no reward.

We're just supposed to hand it over in good faith.

war to be your due diligence to saving the existence of this plane. Dyson Dynamo is one of many items that has threatened the existence and the stability of it.

How exactly does it do that?

He looks at the big ass orca and he goes, Well...

It does that by claiming just and unjust souls. If enough souls are in present to harvest, it will harvest and power up. Then literally,

But who gets to decide who's just and unjust? It sounds like this is a, you know, that's something for a higher power.

It's an inanimate object that just

And then add an object that just claims that by its own accord.

I don't.

Whoever made it was made from a mad scientist who came over and wanted to wreak havoc in the material plane by giving somebody. We don't know ourselves. We're figuring it out. And that's basically above your pay grade because you don't get paid shit.

That's a fact and I'm looking to get paid shit. So why don't we fix that?

I'm looking to get to make shit. So why don't we take this?

I'm not saying we're hiring.

I'm just talking about a payoff at this dynamo thing that you guys want so badly.

Well, there's no payout. Your money and all the things that you have and own here will be done and forgotten. Time moves differently everywhere. I'm from the Astros. We're not even on the same level.

Yep. Something tells me your boss is going to be very upset if you return without this. So what can you do for me?

Nothing. I mean, what do you want to move planes? Leave it? Like, I can't offer you anything in this plane that I can't mount. What do you want?

How do you travel?

How do you travel between planes?

I think we need to talk to his manager.

Donnie roll.

Yeah, Tom, we want a supervisor. We want a supervisor here.

Donnie, roll an Arcana check.

what was the question you asked? What can I, well, it's, what can I, okay, well, yeah.

I sadly traveled between planes.

I finally got all the

Is it a device? Is it magic?

No, he's we actually projected here or at base. You never seen natural projection before?

Oh, I have.

He looks over at Iron and he's like, they don't ask for a check.

He's like, well, I can give you a thousand, two thousand gold pieces. How about that? Does that does that strike? Does that strike you? I can give you all the money in the world.

It seems a little bit cheap for an entire government organization.

I'm pretty sure if I sold this to the enemy, I would get 50 time sets.

And I follow with, you can give me those 2000 gold plate pieces for continuing to interrupt the flow of my employer.

He looks over at you. He goes, sorry about your business, tough guy. He's like, don't fuck with this guy.

He's like, you will be paid in recompense. We will have our people call your people. He's like, we will get something dealed out. I do not want to hurt or harm your business anyway. He's like, but these lackeys have the device. He's like, all right, it's right. He's like, locate in time. Send a message. And she takes a knee like a solid snake. And she immediately gets on the astral calm interwave radio.

Hypothetically.

He's like, the device is here. He just said it.

He's like, where's the device?

I really have no idea.

Really?

Robloff.

I'm not even bluffing. I don't know where it is.

Donovan, you have already admitted to possession. You tried to barter for something you don't have.

He just fucking admitted it.

He really did. Right. Exactly.

I'll tell you what is in my bag right now. I have a pair of D6. I'll roll you for it.

I got revolver ammo, a bucket, an adventurous pack, two reliable revolvers,

Ventures pack revoking for live

And a mythical shirt.

you and your party are now considered suspects.

Of the TSIU.

I will not be detained by a projection.

not be changed by effort

You're not being detained. We're going to go blink past home and me and a couple of gift Yankees are going to come down here with a whole bunch of swords and a whole bunch of sonic powers to come claim this item.

I tell you what, you bring me a device that'll allow me to travel between planes,

I'll figure out who has this device.

It's fair.

He's like, what, you want a car? You want a skimmer?

Yeah, I want whatever you guys got that allows you to travel between planes. If you are the police of... the inner plane, the planes in general, you have a way to travel to

Yeah, I mean, but Spells are easier, but if you want to ship...

It only, I mean, it's, they don't, they don't make them in sizes. I mean, you, I mean...

Fucking beam me up, Scotty.

Fuck the police, fuck the police.

He's like, we're going to get that device whether we like it or not. I mean, I really don't need a trade. But...

Well, you feel big threatening a two foot tall frog.

No, I felt I felt big. I felt big threatening an orca and that didn't go well.

That's what the cops do.

No, it did not.

He looks over and he goes, all right, we're done here. And he reaches out his hand. And then she shakes his hand. And then they dissipate.

I look at Donovan and say, it looks like you'll have a lot on your plate.

Everybody roll an arcane knowledge check.

pull out a revolver, do a quick little twirl, and I say all in a day's work.

a revolver. quick little plural and I say all of these were

27th.

Ashleen, you see two silver lines.

headed in the direction of the city from where the dynamo was cast.

These are two silver tight, strong threads.

Well, I say we follow those threads.

Wait, what, did I need to cast?

I just need an Arcade knowledge check.

and you know that they cast a spell are you're a witch right

Yeah.

Yeah, you know they cast a spell, Astral Projection.

Makes sense.

I don't know if I have that at all.

Magic can make it easier for some people, but some of us use magic.

No, I don't think I have that spot. So I can't like directly follow them.

No, it's like an instant. They just, from what you know, you have to be in physical contact with the creature, with the ones who are willing to accept the spell to go back home.

but,

Oh, so you think they actually went home not... into town, is what you're saying?

No, what you saw was you got... Because a little inside baseball, you see... Everybody who does the astral projection, you see a silver thread that connects them to their home plane. And you see the directions they went while they were astral projected.

So the direction that you saw was the place that they investigated from when the Dynamo was cast. They were hunting you guys.

Okay. And I'm the only one that can see that?

Yes.

all right well then i mean i guess i would just immediately tell everybody that

And ask, okay, what does everybody want to do now? Because we know where they went or at least have an idea.

I'm going to take a peek.

Roll for initiative.

OK.

He's about to fight. I feel it.

What do I think about this motherfucker?

I don't like him.

Well, no. It's obviously not trustworthy at all.

No. The time cops.

Fucking police.

There's always a motherfucking time cop. There will always be another time cop. We get the fuck out of here, dude.

Although I guess we don't necessarily need to follow them because... They don't know where it is either.

I don't even know where it is. I wasn't lying.

I mean, maybe there's no real need to follow them unless you want to see where they live, where they came from.

Yeah, I have no idea where it is either.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I have no, I have no freaking clue.

I have no idea.

No one knows.

No clue.

I'm right, yeah.

No fricking clue.

Good thing none of us know.

Yeah, right now. I have no idea.

I hope one of us has it because it seems like it's worth a lot of money.

Yeah.

I think we just trust that one of us does have it and just move on, you know?

But I don't see a particular need to... try to follow the time cops unless We did ball.

Can't follow them. They were asked for projecting from a different plane.

Well, yeah, but I can see where they went.

It would take you to where...

They are on our plane, but on their plane,

I guess that's true. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Then we got to get the fuck out of where we are right now so they don't follow us again. Obviously, they have a way of training.

Obviously they have a way of tracking us though, or tracking said device. So,

It has to be the device. They must know what the device is.

So we need to find something to shield it, really.

I guarantee whoever has it is in a bag of holding. So would they actually be able to track that to us since that's a different dimension? That's still in plain.

I learned this the hard way. Let's go.

Do we have a bag of holding around?

I have a bag of holes in it. I know Richard's got a bag of holding.

Richard's got a bag of

Have a jar of dirt.

I would be

Is that a way of shielding?

At least a handy Haversack, which is the same thing.

Is that a known way of shielding from tracking?

I just, I don't know how they'd be able to track it to our plane and if it's technically in another plane.

Well, the other plane is still technically in this plane. It is its own plane, but it's also in this plane. So they could track it as far as what plane it's in. But that's why they can't immediately see exactly where it is because it is in a separate plane, too.

But that's why they can't immediately see exactly where it is. separate plane.

That's why they're trying to find it.

So you can narrow in close to where it is, but not identify specifically.

but you can narrow in close to where it is. Jennifer.

Maybe. I don't know. That's the closest I got to an answer.

Gotta ask the hard question.

I don't know. Is there something that we can go find to be sure that we can conceal it? In case they are tracking it.

Well, they pretty much said they were tracking it. So...

Yeah, exactly. So. We need to figure out a way to conceal it.

Either that or, like I said, we negotiate a payout.

where we get it the hell out. Yeah, exactly. Or we get it away from us.

I'm not in the habit of just giving things away for free.

Hell no, dude. Fuck that.

You know, guys, if I left my job at this establishment Followed you guys around, I might be able to help secure a higher payout.

I was just going to say, you know, if you're not exactly thrilled with your employment, we could always use an able-bodied fighter like yourself.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind having a big, muscly guy like yourself with us.

I hate this job.

I hate this job. I can't even fit in through the door. They make me stand outside, check IDs.

Oh, that might suck during the rain.

hop up on his shoulder and

He's waterproof, man.

Oh, that's a nat one, so I don't think I do that.

I guess that's very true. He is waterproof.

I am.

Yeah.

I do. So one of my race traits

one of my race traits is water child so I speak Aquan and have a plus four on swim checks.

I'm like negative on swim. So that's cool.

I would drown immediately.

Immediately.

I am sadistic, so that's no help to you.

Well, there was a little crowd forming, especially after the big brawl. People were kind of flabbergasted. People murmured to themselves left and right. Still middle of the day.

Thank you fine people for being concerned with us being oppressed. We have scared off the oppressors.

There's a couple of people who grab onto each of your shoulders like, were you being oppressed? They're like,

Put my fist in the sky and walk away.

I hope I miss this.

I was, I was, yeah.

We got a slow clap for that speech.

So Donovan, what are you exactly?

once again,

He's a frog. He's a frog.

I am a gripply. I'm a frog person.

I'm a frog person.

How big are you?

Two feet, two inches.

two inches.

I'm a good boy, aren't you?

size of my shoe.

Yep. And he walks around with weird little guns because he thinks he's a gunslinger.

I aim against them.

Amazing.

Damn, she'll turn on you in a second, dude. You're a gunslinger, dude.

Oh, I am a gunslinger.

You're a gunslinger by night, lady killer by night.

You know,

I'm being impressed again.

Are you being impressed? Are you being impressed still?

You know,

With two revolvers in a size like you've got, you can reduce fall damage if you aim properly.

Don't you worry, I'm accurate.

That's what they all say.

Don't know about how big your gun is or how much you can shoot, Donnie. It's all about accuracy.

Doesn't matter how big your boat is, how deep you drill for oil.

It's not how big your bow is, it's how fast you can shoot it.

I'm not smart enough to understand metaphors.

Poor giant orca man.

Do you speak Orca?

I speak Aquaman.

Does it sound like dolphin talk?

Humans can't hear it.

Like at all?

And it just comes out as a super high-pitched noise.

I guess that's pretty cool. I'm okay with that.

I was willing to buy one.

We could always just take it.

How much do these carpets even cost?

yeah really why are you guys trying to steal them anyway like we have money

They're around 10K.

Oh, Jesus. That's quiet.

An old shag carpet stained with tons of stains and clots.

Wait, so Hypothetically, could we buy like a satchel that was on my back like a baby carrier for Donovan?

Yeah, dude.

Oh, 100%.

You can do whatever you want, man.

I got a pretty high ride check, man. Just put me up on your shoulder, man. We're good to go.

Donovan is now on my shoulder.

He has the high ground.

I got it.

It's still about, I want to say 3 p.m. So the sun's still pretty high in this city.

When does... When do the races start?

The races start tomorrow.

All in the morning.

On the morrow.

Can we bet on these carpet races?

Oh yeah, where the bookies at?

That's a great question. Of course you can bet. You can bet on fucking anything, dude.

Would you guys like to fix a carpet grease?

Hell yeah.

Yeah, definitely give me the cheapest fucking carpet. We just got to make it look fast.

I want it.

I am definitely down for that.

paint flames on that shit.

and then talk a lot of shit.

sabotage.

Yeah, man, you got the Nimbus Knights, the Necro Gliders, the Storm Surfers, Elemental Ruggers, and the Shaggy, and the Mighty Ducks. Fuck, I forgot. I forget your guys' names, man. What was your team name again? It was like Shaky Graves and the Ugly Legs or some shit. What'd you guys go with?

Wait, so y'all are entering the rug races?

They already entered.

They entered without a carpet.

Yeah, that's a fact.

Then we have to prioritize getting a carpet. How big are these carpets?

We can...

Probably not big enough for you.

10 by 10? Yeah, you're a big boy.

10 by 10, baby.

Hey, you don't know that. There could be giant carpets around.

costs NK, a double-sized one.

10k double sized one

That's going to cost you extra.

there's a discount. You don't know.

I don't know.

There might be a giant person discount.

All right.

That's accurate.

He did probably.

I praise some gods. And I'm also cursed.

You just convince others to praise you as a god. That's all you do.

Interesting.

Interesting.

So how are we going to get this carpet?

Theft is always good. Theft is great.

Yeah, we're not going to buy it.

We could, now this is just an idea, but we could get like just an actual shitty carpet that's like a real carpet, like five gold or whatever. We could cast imbue with flight on it. It will only last seven hours and steal someone else's motherfucking carpet within seven hours.

That's a good idea. They did say there are no rules in the carpet.

the old bait and switch.

That's true. That's true. That was the rule.

We could even leave them the carpet so they think it's going to be chilling, but then it just stops working in like four hours.

can you make that carpet look like someone else's carpet?

like someone else's carpet?

Are you good at sewing?

I mean, my charisma is not the highest. Most people don't like little frogs, man, but...

I don't know.

Charisma is an H, so...

So does disguise only work on self or can you disguise objects?

Disguise self works on yourself. Disguise objects, it's a little loose immoral. Persigitation does a lot of the heavy lifting.

I've got complex hallucination.

But that fucks with people. What about silent image?

When we have the dynamo, we can make everyone hallucinate.

Wait, I have hypnotic gaze. I could just hypnotize the person into giving us a car seat.

I also got false alibi. We can just talk him into it or give him the idea that he gave it to us. It's like a sponsorship.

The only downfall to that is spellcheck. But if Pat can actually disguise the item as something else,

Letting everybody know that clouds... It looks like a storm's coming in.

Middle of the day, an unruling kind of cloud formation starts happening.

Everything turns from a nice sunny day to slowly dark gray and muddy.

Storms are brewing.

I mean, I'd let you know. Put your trust in me.

You know, I've done that before.

Silent image is the way to do it.

Of course, it only lasts fucking...

Everybody roll knowledge religion.

Oh, duration concentration. Yeah, this is the move.

That's plus six, so 24.

I was about to have that one in the bag.

That was actually that whole.

It's a five for me.

I don't know shit about religion.

What is religion?

And abracadamil know this is it's not whether it's more of an incantation

What fucking check did I need?

This could be one of the other teams, Floyd.

This could be one of the other teams' ploys is to channel a storm during the race.

Four.

At a 24.

channel a storm during the race.

Yeah, mine's a 20, Jake. I don't have two. I don't know if that matters.

But the race isn't until tomorrow.

Yeah. But then they did it just for the race and it looked very suspicious.

But then they did it just for the race.

That's a good call. All right. Yeah, we...

All we got to do is we get a fucking used rug and then we fucking put imbue with flight on it and silent image is concentration. And it literally, you only get to roll a will say that if you interact with it, otherwise it looks like whatever you want.

Yep, so we just got to keep somebody distracted. create their image, throw their carpet in a fucking bag of holding and walk away.

Yeah, honestly, they'll think it's their carpet too, man. Like, it'll fly and stuff, right?

Yeah, but we got to keep them distracted until we're out of there with their carpet.

That'll totally work. A lot of flying carpets look a lot alike.

Because as long as they don't interact with it, then we have no DCs to worry about.

Let's do it. I'll follow you guys.

I mean, honestly, they might fail their wills even if they do interact with it.

I just don't want to bet entirely on a spell with a DC check. Like,

I just don't want to bet entirely on...

spell with the DC chair.

So who's magic carpet and do they leave them outside like, you know, tied to the hitching post, you know, like their horse?

I mean, this is the day before the big race. Everybody's getting fucked up. Everybody's going crazy. There's streamers flying off. Everybody's just throwing poppers. I mean, it's going nuts. The town is alive. Music is fucking playing. Everyone's just getting fucked up before they got to go and watch the NASCAR of the century tomorrow.

Is there like a pit for like race cars?

This is where we'd find a bunch of them.

Everybody's losing their shit. The streets are now, as it's starting to get a little bit dark in the clouds, people think it's time to get hammered. People are getting ready for the biggie. There's already people waiting in line in the spots, picking out their side on the dust to watch all the racers go off in the morning.

Then Should we do a local knowledge roll to find out where the erasers prep at?

I just work here.

24 knowledge locals.

Now, where do they prep?

Where is it? Oh, there.

Oh, good. It's a seven.

Basically, they're prepping all their whips outside the city walls. So like it's in Timbercross to Old Town. Like on the backside of the city.

There's not like a magic carpet garage.

Yeah, that's outside of the city. Outside of the city walls is the best place to, I don't know, cheat, put a couple incantations on your shit, get your whips ready.

We'll be back.

Pull the knives up. Juice the... Juice the minions.

So Donovan, How long would it take to get there?

I mean, it's just outside the city.

I mean, it's just outside the city. It's not like a huge city. I mean, it's large, but...

Yeah, we can just walk outside the city.

Oh, there's that dickhead fucking guard. I can't even go near that, dude.

What guard?

He made everyone sign in.

asshole.

You made everybody sign in. Why?

I know, right? What a jerk.

Because of people like us.

What do you mean people like us? What do you mean people like us? I'm a human.

standard procedure everybody who comes in

Standard procedure, anybody who comes in has to sign it. If they're here for the race, if they're here not, they keep a ledger. The books are tight.

Not everybody wants to put their name down

No, Pat didn't sign in. Books ain't that tight. Books ain't that tight. Books ain't that all I'm saying.

But I ain't going through that fucking checkpoint is all I'm saying.

So we're worried about the guard.

Well... Are there any magic carpets inside the gate?

A question for Donovan.

Do I know of anybody inside the gate working on their shit?

Anybody inside the gate?

look around.

Actually, better yet, is there, with that role, is there like a racers, like a bar that the racers hang out at in the town?

Yeah, you know the big parties. Of course you do, yeah. I mean, you can basically spot them. They're pretty hot and famous right now. Their teams, it's four teams of eight. So they're all they're all together. They're probably going off. Some of them, like I'm going to say half of them are actually prepping for tomorrow, being good boys and getting to sleep because they want to win this race. The Knights are, of course, of course, they're literally like they're going to win. They were last year's winners. So they're not going to fuck around and get drunk. None of that shit. They're not going to go play. They're not going to be party. They're not going to be the Miami Heat, you know.

The other ones are getting fucked up. The other ones are smoothing.

So soon...

Any magic carpets out front?

have to find those racers and find out where their carpet is.

And as far as you know, you guys killed the B team. in the bank heist in Last Town, and they were on the docket to race.

What happened to their car, but...

What the fuck is their car?

They got a carpet.

Someone should go in and chat up the races in the bar and see if they know where the B team, like, where they were going to stay or if you hear any hot goss.

Are we thinking of some food poisoning or something like that? You know, just kicking them out of the room?

Nah, man. Hot gosh.

Yeah. If they're dead and they have a carpet here somewhere, we just don't know where that's at. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, man.

And I'm gonna guess y'all didn't think to ask about the carpet before you killed them.

You never ask questions before you kill someone.

No, that's asking too much.

Well, since we don't know where the team whose carpet you killed is, I say we move on and find a different group of eight. getting drunk.

Yeah, let's go inside the fucking bar. with racers in it.

Vasi, you work at the bar, so you know all the other big old head points. You know of these people. Of course you do. You know the period off point. That's probably where you should start. It's next to the dairy gate on the east side.

Well, let's go.

They're gay.

Can I run back inside that carpet shop before we leave? and just ask this dude if

is there like a dingy ass shitty fucking carpet with holes in it that like i can have on a dumpster carpet Non-magical.

I asked the dude.

We should get the carpet before we leave.

He's like, Yeah. I mean, Man, the man, we don't make mistakes here, but we did have

Well, you made this.

I mean, are you pointing, are you gesturing at my shop or are you gesturing at like me and my overall demeanor?

I mean, no, I mean, I'm just, I don't know. No, I'm the answer to this piece of shit. And I kicked the garbage can.

I follow him into the carpet shop.

Well, I'm sorry, there's a bull in this china shop.

Roll to intimidate silently standing behind him.

We're going to take this garbage carpet.

Roll me an acrobatics check to get through the door.

Out for you.

Damn, get used to that.

you get your fucking shoulder and your head in and your feet are you have one leg on the ground Your dorsal fins sticking out of the back. And you know what? That intimidates him a little bit. As he sees this giant gaping maw of an orca trying to talk to him through a door behind a skinny pink man asking him, you made this. And he's like, you see what?

So can we have your garbage?

He's like, yeah, I got one.

it flies barely. It wants to take off, but it's got a little dip and, you know, we booked it for, we didn't book it for speed. We booked it for flash. It was a, it was supposed to be for my niece's birthday and we want, we wanted it to do a little bit of firework show for, and it spits out firework. It only, and,

Oh, it does?

It loves to tip to its side with its tassel, but I mean, it's a throwaway.

Talk about a distraction. That's perfect. We'll take it.

We'll take it.

Yeah, that sounds great.

Up to the bar we go.

It's the only one in the bin.

So we can just add it.

He's like, yeah,

Yeah.

I can't. I can't. I have to claim. I have to claim my throwaways.

to the mage council, any magical item producing the city has to be documented for throwing away pieces. Like I can't gift it to you, but you have to be the waste management team to take and discard this,

Yeah, we'll take it to the gun for you. You got it up top.

I walk in there.

I don't know. I don't know how I feel about this.

I'm still stuck in the door.

Yes, you are.

Hey, you ain't walked in nowhere, Connor.

You're gonna walk me to nowhere

Yeah, it's probably a good thing because I was going to spit on his feet anyways.

No.

Would it help...

He goes, he's like, meet me around back in about 10 minutes. He's like, I don't need this thing in the shop, but

I think he's trying to pawn off a stolen car on us. We're asking him for something. He's giving us something stolen. I feel it.

Who cares if it's stolen? Worry about that.

Yeah, we're trying to steal one ourselves.

Right, let's steal one ourselves.

He's breaking it down to you. He's like, listen, we got a perfect record on, you know, our rugs are pristine. We have the whole shop here. If we made a bad one, it'll get it'll get it'll get wrapped.

Nah, man, I found this fucker in the alley. You know what I'm saying?

No, you're going to try to race it. I know you are.

No, man, we're not going to try to raise shit.

You literally came in here with your deed from fucking Wendy. Don't race this carpet.

No. I'm not raising this carpet. Another...

I'd love to reassure him we are not going to race this carpet. We are not going to race it.

It's not even a bluff, man. We're going to cheat and I'm going to fucking throw this piece of shit on some useless sap and I don't even know where the fuck it came from. Don't even worry, man. We ain't racing shit.

That's the truth.

And nothing but the truth.

That is in fact the truth. And nothing but the truth.

The whole... Don't you have a character that makes people forget shit? Like, Jesus Christ, he's gonna yell that shit?

or

Yeah, my hypnotic gaze is only good for, Once a day

So if you do have a spell that can make them forget this,

That guy's bluffing from the fucking inside of the door.

Well, he doesn't want it raced, but you just told him it will be raced, just not by us.

Fine. I fucking, I neuralyzer him. DC 17. He forgets that I cast this spell and what I said. DC 17, please. All right.

You got him.

He's like, what are you guys doing back in here? What the hell is that?

Oh, there was some swamp gas. There was a leak. My compatriot here, we're just here to take out your trash. That's all we're here for.

There's a

I just turn around and leave.

He's like...

He's like, yeah, okay. sanitation's here i gotta do some paperwork for that thing in the back He's like, here. And he hands you a golden pen. And he's like, write your name. Take the trash.

Did you take magic on the pen?

Pens of magic.

Hands you the pen.

You got that Mage Hand shit?

That's a great idea. Does he watch me sign?