Transcript

I see y'all are traveling barbershop quartet. And what and security.

Security.

And we also sing. So we entertain the masses.

We were doing security first. Just to get us back.

Yeah, and then, you know, in the quiet moments, you know, someone starts humming and, you know, the other one joins in and next thing you know, you're like, shit, we should start cutting some hair.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-do-do-do-do.

Right, you know. Bow. Whistle while you work. Come on, man.

And now we are on A Skytrain the best sky train We're on a really kick-ass sky train

with a group of

But there's three there's three security forces so us and then the automatons the fucking Mighty number nine

They're called like the fucking Seven Clankers or something. They're like Warforged. They're like a war-forged private security company.

And then there's like a bunch of old hats.

Yeah, dude, there's like, there's like this old group, this old ass fucking roaming party who's been mid tier for like, who was top tier then just came out of retirement.

Yeah, they're basically famous. Apparently they fought off like, you know, they had some stories back in their day.

any would to be new security forces doing crazy shit.

is up to snuff.

which I imagine like, so would we, cause we're up there in levels. We're fucking up there. So I guess we got a little renown going, but,

I would consider a seasoned.

Seasoned, yeah.

a nice

That's a weird roll I just did.

i did my i did my stats roll 412s 114 and one four

Yeah, man, if someone needs a new RFID reader installed on your guy,

You want outside? You want inside? We're on the wall. What do you want that in the sky?

No, it's on the Maschine. rip the old one out put the new one in

A phantasma in the maquina.

And here's the ghost to the shell.

Take care of us.

for the stats do i have to use a fade point to roll again

if you want to okay so for stats you get two rolls so but you get two rolls you get to pick your favorite within each within the set you picked you get to move one point from one stack to another Oh, man, that wasn't me. You can use a fate point to reroll any individual dice roll within a set or reroll the whole set itself. After you decide to keep it, there's no more fading going on it. You do have a pile of fate points.

How many paid points?

Yes. I mean, I've

15.

I mean, yeah, you've had 15 fake points over there. Yeah, you have 15 fake points.

One fake point gone. Oh,

I noticed we didn't roll for items, Matt. I noticed we didn't roll for items. And I mean...

I noticed we didn't roll A for any magic items. I have, I think, yeah, I got, I think I have 12 fate points.

I got that 17 on my roll. Also, Ozan, if you are charisma-based, you're going to have a fun time. That's all I can say.

I'm pretty sure I'm charisma-based. I am trying to be like a control-control guy.

Oh yeah, I think he boosted Nuttapoker's charismas.

Ozone spelt one fate point. How many fate points does everyone else have?

Jake has 12.

I have two.

I got eight, but I forgot that Forgot that we went to level 15, so I never added those extra fate points.

or else I would have used them all.

Yeah, me too, dude. For some reason, I thought I only had like seven...

We started with seven, right?

that goes, that was just

Wait, how many did we actually start with? Seven or 15?

15...

we had seven because originally we were level seven

Oh, shit. Well then, okay. Let me add.

We're going to re-roll some shit real quick.

Don't worry, Pat. I'll take the lead on this one. Jake, go roll me a D1000.

I do like rolling for magic items on start.

Something I like to do before most sessions is get everyone a magic item roll. So I need to know everyone's fake points before we start. I think I got everyone's, but then some people were putting their head back down and using some.

Yeah, I totally thought we only had seven. I don't know if I don't do anything else, I have 10.

We could pretend like these items were like part of taking on the job.

Now, these are like ones that you've had.

I think I'm going to like keep my 10, I guess. I can't think of any way that I'd use it. It just feels like a lot.

at a 15th level, done a lot of adventures.

Wondrous items.

Everyone during their traveling has encountered a wondrous item.

Some of them are Some of them are kind of shitty. Some of them are epic.

So how I do it is we're going to roll on... type of magic item. If it's a lesser, a moderate, a major, and then there'll be a variety of tables. You've all done it before. I'm going to ask you a bunch of different quests, the world dice rolls, and it's going to end up being a different item.

i didn't realize this was gonna happen before i spent those two points i still want to spend one of them but i wouldn't have done that life one if i knew we were doing magic item re-rolls

and the address item

So it won't be a series of roles. It will just be... I think one roll, let me see, yeah. Yeah, it'll just be one rule. And higher is usually the better with a couple exceptions.

So I can, but I, so roll me first. Let's go. Let's do this damn thing.

No, do you want to take my rolls?

What is it? It's a D1000?

No, it's a little higher. It is a, you're going to have to use the built-in roller where you say like roll D and it's a custom dice.

Rule D, what, 1042? How's this going to work?

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, yeah. Rolling a D1635.

Damn.

Oh, shit. That's pretty high. 1,155.

1,155.

That is a headband of vast intelligence plus four.

Thank you very much.

Damn.

Damn. Damn it, I'm not a smart man.

money is a favorite?

Yes, I do. Ben's B's and boy, I double N's.

B as in boy, I, and as in not my problem, and as in please never block the door for me, and as in, what are you doing? Are you checking in?

93.

Yes, I am.

You know, I prefer when you said, do you have a reservation? No, this is a stick up.

I want a free room and all the fixings.

No, you're rolling it.

I believe Jake Fate pointed.

What are you down to in fate points?

Is that a confirmed fate point from you, Jake?

I mean, you could always, if you get an idea that someone wants in their needs, I don't think we actually have anybody who uses intelligence, weirdly enough.

You look at that item?

What was the number?

93.

not a feather token.

worth 500 goals.

You gotta be shitting me. Fuck that.

Shit, that's why I was kind of surprised you didn't keep the 11.55. That's... I mean, out of one? That's pretty good.

Why? So I can wear it around my dick, dude? Fuck that. Fuck that headband. Fuck that feather token. Let's go. One more. Bring me down a tank. Come on, man. Give me something. Give me something I can work with. Something I can hang on my belt and be proud of.

574

Hey, I rolled you hot the first one. I mean, you could like soldier something. Anything above a thousand is really good.

Troll Blood Elixir.

bubbling tonic made of sweat and decay

Sounds delicious.

you get fast healing five when you drink this potion.

How about that? You got a little energy drink there.

428.

All right.

Somebody shoot my horse.

Okay.

This horse can't find a truffle to save his fucking life.

You got the Hypnotic Wayfinder. It's an eight inch long silver chain that

the

can be used once per day to mesmerize weak-minded creatures that see it when dangled and swung gently like a pendulum the hypnotic wayfinder seems to change colors as light plays off of its pearlescent exterior this replicates the effects of hypnotic pattern dc 13 negates

I'll stop you right there. Jake, that's the fate point.

It's supposed to be legendary. What the fuck?

91.

What is it?

991.

You have a magical tattoo of your choosing.

It could be good.

Let's see, this is...

Yeah, it's a magical tattoo.

Like what level spell?

Give me a D eight. I'm sorry. Hold on.

Check the thing out first.

Inscribe Magical Tattoo.

A little tattoo.

all right so there are some sample magical tattoos by intricate patterns casters tattoo mesmerizing tattoo reservoir tattoo spell tattoo swirling tattoo

The universe is being a tattoo, must be present in the contenting process. Difficult to destroy, spell erased can permanently destroy, but the bear can resist the spell. In addition to casting, you need to make a successful caster check, physically removing magical tattoo of the sharp instrument, master pregnant strike.

Imagine tattoos being broken as fuck.

they seem broken as you just get a free permanent item they don't account towards your magic item slot

what was the level of spell i was listening i put you down

Oh, yeah, I'm just trying to figure it out. I need to figure out how these work first.

Does it seem like there's anything?

Is it one I can cast on myself or?

magical tattoos, different history, patterns, sentient art

I don't want to set you on the trick of not lower the sorcerer.

It doesn't say anything that there's a spell cap on it or...

limitation of the spell is.

Well, you have to have like the feet or whatever to make them. And then you do it on it. Like I know. It's the same as like a psionic tattoo.

Magic item is linked directly into the flesh.

so is there like no limitations what happens you put describe yourself with like finance tray or something

Yeah, what's the cost?

for magic and creation as though they were under status.

Okay, so it's just like craft wondrous item.

but you just need a different craft check

New magical tattoos can be researched and designed using the guidelines for pricing new magic items. Magical tattoos are tested as slotless magic items for pricing purposes.

So is it like you cast the spell once and the tattoo goes unactive for a while or is it like always on?

It's just like magical items. So it's like, you know how there's items where you can activate them to cast teleport?

screen.

It's a one a day a lot of times.

So, I mean, if you do want to make it a permanent effect, then... it would be way more expensive than normal. So I guess it would just be

Roll on the Wondrous Items fucking scale.

can i make the pack can i make the tattoo permanent if i cast permanency on it

I'm pretty sure it's already permanent. I don't think they get exhausted.

Yeah, they are.

Yeah, tattoos are permanent.

So let's see what, so it's any spell then, right?

No, it's Wondrous Items.

They follow the rules of magical item creation, though they were wondrous items.

But you do apply a spell and that's how. So like...

But it follows the rules of wondrous items, so it can't be a spell that you can't actually craft with.

What are some spells you can't actually craft with?

I don't know.

So it's Wondrous under the skin.

No, so it's like spell scribing, seemingly. Like, and there's probably a lot of gray area, so if you have a preferred way you want to handle this, like...

Okay, Jake, you're going to have to just roll again, and then that magic item is inscribed on your skin.

Okay. All right. All right. So I'm keeping the tattoo. I'm keeping the tattoo. This is for the magic item rolled on my skin.

Well, I mean, you should still have the opportunity to re-roll the whole roll.

Well, I'm pretty sure the way it works is that the pricing works around, but that you add a spell just straight up like... and any spell.

Like it's a, it's a triggerable room. I don't know if it's reusable on the spot multiple times, or if it's a recharge thing, I am unaware, but it, that it's like, I think you choose along spell lists because.

That would be insanely difficult to go for.

Yeah, but that was just how I was always under the impression of the rules when it came to the tattoos when I was using them for one of my guys years ago.

And what was the D? What was the dice? 165 or 1,065?

No, you'd have to roll differently.

I gotta see here. So, a tattoo.

That is 1,635 for the initial roll.

A magic tattoo is a wondrous item linked into the skin. Like plus two resistance or boots of speed tattoo. Is that how that works? Or is it like it's an actual spell that you like activate from your tattoo?

That's the part that I can't figure out.

Well, it says they follow the rules for magic item creation. So I'll just read magic item creation and then. You have to.

they're tattoos of wondrous items right

Yeah.

no they're no they're not necessarily attached to the motor side

Well, there are also spell tattoos, so I don't know if this is exactly that.

but they follow the wondrous item creation feat. So whatever limitations they have on making wondrous items is applied here.

I'm going to go look up Scribe Tattoo because it is fucking a feat for it.

I mean, I'm looking at the feet for it right now, and it looks as if it's basically you're creating a wondrous item and putting it on your skin.

like inscribe magical tattoo item creation you can craft magical tattoos

magical tattoos,

must be placed on the part of the body able to hold a magic item slot but they do not count against or interfere with magic items worn on them and then it says

they cannot inscribe on armor eye headband or shield slots so yeah where do you want it i guess and then they're difficult to destroy it says that they follow the rules for magic item creation as though they were wondrous items except to use the craft calligraphy skill New magical tattoos can be researched and designed using the guidelines for pricing new magical items. Magical tattoos are treated as slalice magical items. And then... Yeah, so essentially you're going to roll in the Wonders Items table and choose where you want the tattoo.

So it's a...

and choose where I want it.

Yeah, where do you want the tattoo on your body?

On my face.

Okay, face tattoo. Some Tyson shit.

Yeah. Just give me the Tyson.

All right, and this can be magically erased, and it can be carved off of your body.

How many save points have you got left?

Nine.

Oh man, all right. That's a dude. Roll on the wondrous item table again.

What's the dice?

1,635.

You want to roll high.

It's backslash D, right?

slash roll

slash R...

slash role space D

Now you got to say D.

Yeah. Roll me a 1,000. You got it.

Oh, no. D1, 6, 3, 5.

Oh. Wow.

on your face, is a...

A tattoo of the cage of captivity. It's a miniature cage of golden wire that can be used to capture a weakened outsider once per day. The target outsider must be called or otherwise physically present. A cage of captivity has no effect on summoned outsiders. The target must also be able to take actions. This is the cage of captivity.

And I'm good.

So it's an outsider prison, an outsider prison on his face.

He can capture an outsider on a cage tattooed on his face. You can attempt to draw a subdued outsider into the cage of captivity by placing gemstones around it, concentrating for one minute. The gems have to be worth at least $100. gold per hit dice of the target. If the target fails, it will save and increases. If the target user speaks to target's true name, the target shrinks to a height of one inch and is drawn into the cage as the minimum containment option of the binding spell. Anyone holding the cage of captivity may attempt to open it as a standard action. If an outsider is trapped within it, doing so requires a DC-22 will save. If the creature fails to save, they cannot open the cage. They are repulsed by it for 24 hours. The user who originally captured the imprisoned outsider gains bonuses on the save. Any creature opening a cage of captivity can compel the trapped outsider to perform a service in exchange for its release. The trapped creature is compelled to fulfill this request as Gaia's quest. If the creature opening the cage of captivity knows the creature's true name, if not, the request function is lesser Gaia's. Basically, you can trap outsiders.

That's right. I got a Ghostbuster trap in my motherfucking mouth.

What's your alignment?

I think I'm I think I'm good. Yeah, I'm good.

Lawful good.

My decision is about...

You keeping it?

Thank you for your time.

Jackie, are you keeping it?

Keeping it.

I'll go.

Roll them bones.

It's a 1635 that I'm rolling.

1635.

Take 68.

6 8

6 8.

It is a golden tunic of deadly might.

is Plus two bonus to CMD. against Disarm and Sunder combat maneuvers.

Hang on, I'm looking up these stats real fast.

Yeah, I'm going to re-roll.

What does that 719 get me?

Book of Extended Summoning.

It enhances spells that summon monsters. It is the greater book of extended summoning. It's worth 6126 gold.

To give you some context,

I think I'm going to reroll that one. Oh, go ahead.

So on this list, everything's weighted mostly to be higher priced, the higher the roll. And things don't really get above 10,000 gold until you hit 1,000. And then things don't get above 20,000 gold until you hit about 1,200. and then it kind of goes an additional 10 000 every 100 and you only get into the super good stuff when you're at like 1500 and higher

So it is hard to roll incredibly amazing items on this roll. It is mostly just a magic item. So there is opportunities to get really badass shit, but it's only if you roll really high.

But didn't she roll 1600 something? I thought it was 1635 or something.

Jake did.

What did Jess roll?

So I'm going to try again. I have so many faith points.

Yeah, you should do it.

asking it's already on there

719. What was that? No. 1117?

The Chord of Stubborn Resolve.

When fastened above the waist, you get a plus two enhancement bonus to constitution.

along with Prodigious Stamina.

the chord of resolve seven resolve

Is it a belt slot?

I'm going to do it again.

I'll do it again.

821 wayfinder of revelation It is a 8,000 gold chain that...

Light effect or double the normal effects of light spells, illuminating an area twice as large once per day as a standard action. You may

The Wayfinder of Revelation is creating light. You can fill the 40-foot radius of light with an invisibility purge effect. This effect also makes it easier to notice secret doors and hidden compartments. Characters who search for hidden objects as portals inside this area, such as portals, gain a plus 10 on your reception check to do so. Once activated, it remains active for six rounds. The Wayfinder of Revelation.

a slotless item.

That sounded pretty cool, but also very lengthy. So I'm just also re-scanning the specs on that. I might stick with that one. Two seconds.

My understanding is those perks apply to anyone who can see in that illuminated space, not just me, right?

It...

the light coming from the wayfinder revelation it's double the normal effect of a light spell once per day you can use it to create light with also light or 40 foot radius of light with invisibility purge effect as for the spell it also gives you a plus 10 bonus on perception checks to notice secret doors and hidden compartments

Okay, so that's the part that just me then other people looking for hidden doors and stuff.

an all new Only when, yeah, and only when you use it as a standard action for six rounds once per day, not like all the time.

There is better. And like, I've rolled... I think that was my fifth time. So I'm down to five faith points and I'm just weighing that.

I'm going to keep it. It's cool. Like it has some like flair to it. It sounds pretty cool.

This is a magic item roll. It's heavily weighted...

So roll 1d once, yeah, heavyweight one.

16 35 is the is the rules it's heavily weighted towards not insanely powerful magic items so you really want to get over a thousand to get anything You know, and you really want to get over it.

Oh, 158. You got a tribal, yellow tribal war paint.

It's worth 900 gold. You've...

What's the magic part of that?

You found it on your journey. And let me see what the yellow one does. There's a bunch of different kinds of war paint, but the yellow grants you plus five competence bonus on perception checks while you have a paint on your face.

Hell yeah, dude. Face paint. Let's go. Let's go.

how many times can I use it? Like, who was,

Once.

Oh, make me a cat before we go into battle, dude. I want to dress up as Kiss.

In my probably 50 years of life where I've become an extremely powerful sorcerer, this is really all I've found.

Yeah, I found this 20 years ago.

Yeah, you also found all the gear that you've accumulated worth 250,000 gold. It's just an extra thing. It's just...

Yeah, I'll take it, Pat. Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I love it. I love it. It's yellow war paint, right? Five to perception.

How about what's behind door number two, motherfucker?

Why don't you just re-roll it?

check the odds. Yeah.

No, I value my fate points.

You have a 20% chance to get over 1,300. To roll over 1,300. 20% chance.

20%?

Yeah, what's the chance of getting that blue face paint, bro? What are we talking here?

what he didn't say is you have an 80 chance of rolling a rock so that's what he didn't say

So, okay, can you do the math on how many times I need to roll it to get above 50% nutty? What's that, like three times, four times, five times?

How does probability work?

Hey, man, I turned a low into a high.

Yeah, I should have had Jake roll for me. Can I have Jake roll for me? Can I just have him do it? Okay. Jake, I give you a faith point to re-roll this for me.

You got to use

Four rolls. Four rolls.

I have faced four rolls for what expected payoff of, I don't know, 20K gold.

at chance.

Let's see. I'll spend one.

It's 35, right? Yeah. 1D635. Here we go.

Hey Pat, I mistounted how many times I rolled. I only used three fate points, so I still have seven. I assume you're keeping track of that.

yeah and you can re-roll your item if you want jess i'm all down for people wanting to burn up fate points so feel free

1431, please.

Your foot becomes a wooden log with an opening in it. It's a little door and a mouse lives there happily. Makes you coffee every day.

1431.

It's better than bad. It's good.

This is the Pendulate Divine of the Emperor Fortegray. It's a luxurious red felt divan is edged in gold latticework and made from highly polished glossy black wood. If you lie upon it, if you lie upon it,

When you lie upon this...

When you lie upon this glossy black divan, you automatically...

you automatically...

It's a couch, Nelly. When you lie on this couch, you understand how to activate it, and you also understand its history that it was created for the mad emperor Fortegray thousands of years ago, and it includes many special abilities. When you sit, stand, or lie upon it can walk like a four-legged animal with a movement.

The Vaughn can create your gold.

1400? I don't know.

The Vaughan can create two gallons of water per day to protect you with the dirt elements.

Once per day, it can fly or teleport.

The origin...

The Pendula Devon of the Emperor Fortebre.

those other weak-ass versions in which you can only walk and have no powers.

Nutty, did you roll?

All right. Feel free. There's no final answers here. If you want to roll another one, you can.

I've changed my mind. This is whoever wants to roll again can.

Wait, did you just give me my fade point back?

no i was basically saying to jess if she wants to roll again she can't because i want so many fate points

565. Maybe you did 565.

Oh, Nadi. 565. Nadi. You received...

on your many travels on this earth you have found the impact gauntlets They're made of worn leather and they,

The palms are smooth.

They're covered in rough pebbles. The wearer can catch small, medium, or large rocks and similar projectiles as if you possess rock catching, as long as you have one hand free.

items that are good that are lower level are there like zero

There are a couple

They're probably listed by value. So like niche to

They are listed by value, but every once in a while there's a high value one peppered in. Hold on.

but the that was no that's the chon elixir 404 when you imbibe the foul tasting fluid your ears grow 10 times their size

95? We'll probably re-roll that. But there's a couple peppered in.

95. It's an ion stone that's cracked.

What does it mean it's hectal?

It's like a plus one bonus is something.

It's not as good.

I forgot to put a one, I was only a 1D635.

wasting the low ones.

numbers.

How many fate points you had?

Six, because that wouldn't kill.

That's the harp of slumber, Nettie.

I hope it puts you to sleep if you fucking play it.

hey, you want to try my harp out?

OK, Harp of Slumber. Despite having the strength and texture of unhewn stone, this pale white harp is sculpted from solid glass. A harp of slumber have several effects while it is played. At will, the user can produce a lullaby effect by plucking a single string. Up to three times per day, the user can strum the harp to produce a sleep effect. mythic performer, blah. It's basically a harp of sleeping. The DCs.

Well, the user can produce a lullaby effect by plucking a six-string up to three times per day. You can strum the harp to produce a sleep effect. If the performer succeeds at a DC 13 perform check, this use of the harp functions as deep slumber instead. The DC effects increases by two for each against creatures with a giant slumber type. So then we got to look at the spells deep slumber.

to get the actual dcs of the spells This spell effects functions like sleep, except that it effects 10 hit die of targets. Okay, so basically up to 10 hit die.

I mean, I'm not going to get any better than 1423.

Hey, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good everybody get to take care of the town folk, man.

It's also worth $37,000.

Yeah, it'll put guards to sleep. They can put guards to sleep going by.

500 gold so it's about 37k worth of harp

I'll keep it.

All right, I'll go for it.

917.

of the weasel.

Snake belt, bro.

Surprisingly soft belt has an absurdly large buckle, made even more absurd by the fact that it's created in the shape of a smiling weasel's face. You get plus two enhancement bonus to dexterity, the ability to move at half normal speed while prone, treat the enhancement bonus to dexterity, and the temporary ability bonus for the first 24 hours the belt is won.

I'm going to re-roll that before. Yeah.

1178

a shadow jumper's tunic.

this dark gray tunic allows the character to make a single jump of up to 40 feet per day or four jumps of 10 feet each per day all jumps begin and end in an area that has at least some light if the wearer has at least four levels of shadow dance or prestige class you add

Sorry, I forgot to put the slash R. Hold on. Reroll.

How many fake points you got?

Let me do the math on that.

I spent two so far, so I've got, wait, no, I've only spent one so far, so I've got 10 left.

Using one more right now? I'm probably using one more after this. That's a 459.

459.

incense of many fates

found on your journey. On your journey, you found some incense. And the incense

I'm going to just move along. Sounds lovely.

It's worth 3,000 gold. And when you use during meditation, it allows your consciousness to pass through past or future lives to learn more about a person, place, or things.

I'm assuming single use.

Yeah, single use.

Yeah, in fact.

Oh, God. 361.

361.

the cloak of the hedge wizard.

Gives you once a day use of like a specific first level spell.

8.56.

How many fate points you had after the 856?

Seven. This is about where I'm like, I think I should probably stop.

8.56.

a flawed ion stone.

a particular type.

rhomboid ion stone flawed plus five competence bonus and acrobats and swim checks

I think I'm going to spend one more of these fucking day rolls. I hope.

1,086.

1,088. Yeah.

The Cape of Efflugent Escape.

Okay. And what does it do?

fulgent escape shining white cloak is trimmed with golden sunburst and continuously radiates light as per the light spell but only in a 10-foot radius twice per day the wearer can command the cape to erupt in a burst of light blinding all creatures with other than the wearer within 20 feet for 1d4 rounds after triggering this burst the wearer becomes invisible with a duration of one minute and the cape's light is extinguished as long as the wearer is invisible

That seems pretty solid. Got like a free and visit.

I'm not going to wear it, but like...

Oh, because it takes your clinical resistor or whatever?

Yeah, but you know,

I get it.

Yeah, it's true.

What's it worth?

14K.

All right. Let me just cash it in.

in my purse until I can find some motherfucking partner like this.

Unless you want to roll again.

Was that five or six? I want to say five.

What did you say, five or six? What do you mean?

Never mind. I'm going to count it out.

Oh, fay points?

All right, six points left.

You are on the platform.

It's steaming. It's like you see just...

I'm kind of tweaking a few random things, but that can probably be done in the moment.

You are all standing on the SkyDoc boarding platform. Wind off the cliffs is carrying the smell of ozone and oil across the boarding platform. You see a train that has on the side of it says the cloud breaker sitting moored at the gantry. There's all plates are humming with levitation energy and you see these levitation stones. that are saddled underneath each train car as it goes down. There are a lot of train cars, more than you can count, but it's not like it stretches into the horizon, but more than you thought when you initially signed on to this. you have each one of the levitation stones has like a mechanical articulation that you see it's going through some sort of systems test right now where they're moving them forward side to side there's some workers that are inspecting various pieces and parts the entire train is hovering above the platform currently You see dock workers wheel a shrouded crate-sized cargo up the ramp between two priests and vestments, and there's a pair of engineers tapping instruments with long brass rods. You see a cordoned lane of rope and warning flags holding a gathered crowd back who are all watching and witnessing what's happening here. This is one of the first ever Skytrains, so it's drawn a crowd. There's media present. You see the Rugby Gazette guys that are snapping photos for the next Gazette. there are four hired escorts near the gangway and one of them is there's also a scout in front of them that's bearing a lamp there's a

cleric duelist there's like a cartographer looking guy they're checking their weapons and watching the sky and like looking out and like look pretty serious these are probably the these are the older guys that are the old adventuring party you heard of and the people are talking and saying, okay, are you ready to board? And they're starting to get way forward.

I start waving to everybody, taking pictures and writing. It's like, hey, we made it. Hey.

You guys are in Tari right now in Gaethere. Everything is very like a tip back to like just very samurai heavy very like toshi very like car torii gate like there's a lot of that style of like big overarching woodwork with like tipped up corners like everything is intricately built very wooden, like that in style, but then it has this like new age spin to it with all of this mechanical, magical creation stuff going on.

I have two questions. One, you said that the adventurers were looking into the sky. Were they just looking at like, you know, the wonder of it all? Or are they looking at something? Can I try to follow their eyes?

appear to be looking at the route ahead.

Okay, not like a dragon. And my second question, there is a spell that I want to know if it's adaptable for the purposes of a campaign that has like sky ships and stuff. It's a track ship. It's a level or ship tracking. Let me see the specific wording.

You know, yeah.

Okay, it is track ship. And like, it's phrased in the nautical sense, but that's because most things in Pathfinder like don't have skyships. So I was wondering,

Track ship. All spells. In order to cast a spell, you have to have a piece of the ship you wish to track. Merchants use... Oh, did I just drop?

Merchants often preserve slivers of their trade ships specifically for this purpose. You also need a chart. When you cast this spell, an icon... Yeah, of course, this totally works. Same. When you cast the spell, an icon of the targeted ship appears on your nautical chart. So really, you'll just need a map of the region that shows where it could go, and then you can totally do the same thing.

Cool. Thank you.

If the ship is reduced to zero or fewer hit points, the icon changes to a skull and crossbones. That's great.

you see seven warforged loading onto the train they all have like they're very much automaton style in their movements they are

They are just... Very mechanical. They're not talking to one another. You see each one has a giant marking on the back, like a serial number. One, seven prime, two, seven prime. These are magical items more than they are individuals.

and they're all loading on right now.

I don't know why I didn't take the destroy robot spell.

Damn it.

Hey, these guys are working security with us.

There is a legit spell called that.

I know they don't like have souls, but can I like sense vibes on these motherfuckers?

Yeah, roll it.

I mean, you're just getting the vibe that they're just trying to protect the hardcore, which is what their mission is to do.

How do they respond to my song?

You playing a song?

Yeah, I bust out my leg.

They don't respond at all.

Project.

is not mission protocol but your performance is top tier my guy like some of the people who are loading the train up stop and look and one guy starts like weeping see break remembers like the history he remembers like his family like the beginning of like before they went off his sons went off to war it's like he starts like crying as he's like loading up the crates

What was it?

He's fucking shredding with you. He's like, yeah.

His boss comes up and smacks him in the back of the head. He's like, go back to fucking work.

And yeah, so now at this point, the heart core has been loaded into one of the train cars, and they're sealing it up. It appears that they're using some magical seals on the outside of the car.

when the doors open to the storage cargo car for the hardcore rolling perception checks to see if you can peek inside of it

What do our peepers peep?

Nadi, Rich, and Jess, you guys see... you see a ton of reflective surfaces like when you when you open it up like it's like shining with reflections in there and then right before they seal it appears that they cast some sort of spell on like reflective surfaces and then it closes up

All right.

I don't suppose I could detect magic on that, could I?

What's the range of Detect Magic?

Oh, crap. Wait, if it casts a seal, you just spellcrafted, don't you? spell crafts, and then you detect better if that fails.

60 feet.

is more than 60 feet away from you for detect magic.

What about just spell crafting it if they're casting a spell?

you are you trying to spellcraft to identify with their caster are you trying to detect magic and see

To determine their cast and

yeah, go, so Nadi, are you spellcrafting?

Yeah, let's look at that.

Mr. Roll.

26.

26 something protection.

Okay.

Is there like... Are we just being let on or do we have a guide who's just hired us and he's telling us where he wants to station and all that stuff? Or are we just getting on with everyone else?

before we do all that i want to say everybody hands in everybody this is our first i'm like this is our first big gig with a whole bunch of new crazies and ugly and ugly motherfuckers before we get started and i was like i want to see some i want to see some good call outs and some good saves and i'll be safe and then i go river knockers on three and then whoo and then i cast telepathic bond

And I make it permanent.

Shit.

Did anyone else take Bond in mind, by the way?

Just Justin I deal

Before we go in, can I like, I don't know, look around and see if anyone looks shady? Any of these people who are just filing in? Are they looking around too much to be tourists? That kind of thing.

I fluffed my Jerry Crow. I don't look shady whatsoever.

Except this motherfucker.

yeah the guy that is part of the last lanterns he's the guy he's the rogue of the group he's very he's just very roguelike he looks pretty shady

How old is he?

He's like 70 in human years.

I mean, are we stereotyping because we know that he's a famous rogue or does he look like he's up to some shit?

Probably, yeah. I mean, you got to answer within for that one, Jess. But I am. Yeah, roll me like a bias check. Like, how biased are you? Maybe wisdom? The knowledge to know?

You gotta look inside.

he's in his 70s yeah he's a washed up like legend but you know he looks like he's made a lot of like shady deals in his life he's got a lot of scars on his face but they don't look like they don't look like battle scars more though they look like someone's tied him up and made him suffer

Let's do it for the company.

Like half a Chelsea grin.

Ugh.

Do we have a guide who's telling us what to do? Are we getting knowledge?

Yeah, there's a fellow who says, all right, are you guys ready to get on side of the train car? You have your own private car, left-hand side. Car four, okay? Car four.

I ask it real quick. Do you know if there's any

with your seals that you've placed on the train like am i able to cast spells without hindrance aka teleportation and whatnot

Oh, I didn't like that.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, bud. My job is to get your ass in that car.

Damn it.

is car for the one that is above whatever they're being all protective of?

I said lady car force that one right there

Listen, I got one job and one job only. That's it to get your two feet into that fucking car. They don't pay me enough. They only pay me to know numbers. That's number four. That car.

We are no longer taking questions at this moment.

I'm not a dumb lady. I know a lot. I make a fucking great duck balls. Well, please, for the love of God.

No, that is car 12.

So, yes, you are seeing in the front, there's an engine car. The engine car is the control car. It's the car that's piping, moving mechanical rods that then feed mechanical movement through the lower workings of the train, through rods and connection points and cables and whatever. It's where a lot of the magical energy is being pulsed and connected. from to control various levitation stones. Behind that is this is car so that's like engine car and then you have a car one which is like an observation car so that's like there's a big wonderful view area there's one of those in the front and one of those in the middle there are 14 cars total

that does not include the engine car

So there's engine car, and then CAR1 is observation.

And then car two is, you're not sure but they're they well yeah they loaded you into the observation car and then you walk through cars and then as you're walking through the car you're in like a hallway and the hallway then has for the most part from what you've seen it has and these are very wide cars like you're not this train isn't on tracks it doesn't need to like it's a SkyTrain they built it wide so on the left is a room and on the is a room. So it's not like a tight little space on the left and a tight little space on the right. It's like this whole train is like 30 40 feet wide it's like really fucking wide

and so as you're walking through the center like walkway of the train in car two you see it's like passengers and on the left and the right and then and so there's also it's not just like there's also it's also taking passengers so this isn't just transporting these goods there's a couple different things going on here so there's passengers car three is where they load it into the warforged Sorry, car. Car two is Warforged.

Car 3 is Passengers.

Part four is the car that you're going into. And you guys are on... the left-hand side.

of the car is your private as your private room in the car

and then you haven't you haven't seen the right hand side yet and you haven't seen five six seven eight but they loaded the they loaded the

materials.

hardcore into the 14th car

14 cars.

Engine is in the front, classic train style.

Did we see where the old boys were stationed?

the old boys as you're loading in you see them going into it appears to be like somewhere around the seventh or eighth car

Well, I mean, we should be as close to the materials as possible for protecting them, right?

That seems somehow shadiest of all.

Are we actually hired to protect the materials or the passengers?

you are hired to protect the material not the passengers you see a lot of passengers loading into it everyone roll me a perception check roll high because you got to glimpse this through the window really in the back

Richard and Nutty notice a So right as the doors are closing, you get a glimpse behind. There looks to be a prisoner that's being loaded into another car.

What the fuck?

Uh,

There's also a prisoner transport going on here.

in God's name.

Yeah, I tell everybody through the bonded mind thing.

What car is that?

Are we all?

Somewhere between you and the old boys.

Pat, is there anybody chance we're transporting a crate full of poisonous snakes?

There is a chance.

I give the train a good knock on the side of our car. What are we made out of here, Pat?

This train is made out of mostly steel and a couple exotic materials. It's like a steel and brass, crystal glass. It's like gnomish, very gnomish. where you know they take mechanical and magical items and smash that together and make neat things it's a it's like a giant custom magical item

I see, I put my hand through it and I see if I can Earth Glide.

Can you earth glide through steel?

I don't think so.

I mean, you know, it's a metal.

to EarthGlide through Metal.

Don't know if that's how that works.

I think Earthglide glides through Earth unless you have something special form of it.

Are you an earthbender or a metalbender, bro?

You could probably make the argument you could go through a stone.

What is rock but just a bunch of itty bitty pieces of iron?

You can't earth glide through the steel.

It's the first hard no.

Do I recall anything with my A30 and knowledge local, somebody mentioning like a prisoner of transport going through?

Did I see anyone? Oh, sorry.

you have not and you were you one that saw you were you were the one that saw yeah he had he had a cloak over like a black cloak over his head and he had manacles that were like manacling like his hands his wrists and like his elbows arms thighs and legs like a straight jacket and manacles and that was pretty weird

it was

You son of a bitch. Did you want him on...

a wizard

Where did they put him again?

It was like hands, wrists, arms, somewhere between you and the old boy car.

No, where do they load?

Yeah, like eight or nine, around nine.

7th or 8th.

seven or eight.

and then they're also loading like drinks and foods into what appears to be a dining car some of them are dining cars there's another observation car in the center and things like that

Where's the dining car?

Dining car is just in front of the center car. So car six.

Do we want to perform for the people?

Car 6 is one of the dining cars.

this job gives you seats in the target space program if you do not want to join this target space program you get a magic item from the vaults of turgith a very nice high power magic item from the vaulted turgith if you choose the seats you get the seat and also 30 000 gold

That's what each person gets.

Is there like a monthly income for being on the seat of...

If the train arrives safely in the dock of Ka,

Actually, yeah.

What do you mean? The train or the materials?

the materials

Okay, so we don't have to work out about the train. Okay, yeah.

that are on the train.

I care about doing a good job. So yeah, I agree. We shouldn't hang out in this car. We have to go.

Right. Yeah, we need to build this rip.

Scope out the train at least.

How long is this journey supposed to be? Is this like a days? Okay.

Two-day journey.

Can I do a percentage check to see if I see anyone of higher superiority than the guy yelling what room we're supposed to go to?

Yeah, there's definitely a person who's directing traffic outside. It was like, okay, you go over here.

Don't want that one. Don't want that guy. I want someone higher up. Someone who might know...

Now skip over that guy.

the information i am speaking

Skip this, skip that guy. I don't need, I don't need the actual cop. Skip him, skip him.

There's a person with a lot of like decorated like clothing that's talking to the pilot.

The shiniest, pointiest hat, Pat.

There's a shiny guy who's talking to the pilot up right near the front as he's about to go into the engine room.

Pilot hat's a good hat.

Can I catch that guy real quick?

So, are you loaded into the fourth train car? Are you trying to catch him by going back outside, walking along the side of... Or are you trying to walk through...

Well, before I load it in, I'll try to catch them before I load it in.

so this you've like you've just loaded in are you gonna leave the train and go do it or are you gonna walk through the train cars to go find this guy because he's completely outside and you are loading in now like do you do

I've imagined it's

And I'm assuming it's easier just to go walk back out.

Yeah, you can walk back out.

I'll walk back out and try to catch him outside.

Okay, so outside the train, there's a staircase platform that extends up. So you walk down the staircase platform back onto the sky dock. You're back on the SkyDoc. Everyone else is inside train car four.

Do I see that guy still?

how the train yes you see them but how the trains cars load up is there's a front part of the train car and a rear part of the train car outside area just like the classic old school trains the stairs go onto that back balcony and front balcony of a train there's a door you walk across you transfer you step over a gap And then you open a slider and you go into the next train car, just like all the trains that you've ever seen in like old movies. There's like a little back porch area and a front porch area. The platforms go up to that little back porch and front porch area. And then there's a hallway that goes through with different configurations depending on which car you're in. Some cars have like...

some cars are just like a room on the left a room on the right some cars are completely open some cars have a little stairway going up to an overhang galley like various ways that each car is made now you're outside on the main platform you've walked on the steps there's a bunch of hustle and bustle you see the decorated guy pointy hat big broad shoulders decorations of various metals, maybe military, maybe not. You're not sure if you recognize any of the insignias. And he's talking to the pilot.

the whatever, right?

Conductor.

Jostle up there. Am I walking into any kind of conversation?

yeah as you're walking up he's basically saying okay when you land there's gonna be a newspaper i want you to bring it in this way we're gonna get a nice big rod shot on the side i want you to kick up as much power as you can make these things like all the levitation stone i want those things to flare up this thing's gotta look impressive we've got a lot of investors on this project he's talking money, he's talking flair.

And this is the, not the pilot, right? Is the guy all decorated up?

This is the guy talking to the pilot. He's decorated out, yeah.

I look for a window to interrupt them.

There's a pause.

and when i do i ask all right it's like pardon me gentlemen but i am part of the crew hired to protect the train and i was wondering if you guys know or you could send someone to car four that has information about the wards placed on the train

And he says, oh, hey, thanks for your help, man. I really appreciate everything that you're doing here. Yeah, we've got, you know, you're one of the three groups that we've got on this train to protect this thing. This is wonderful. Really happy to be here, that you're here. You want to know about the wards that are placed on the train, like the protection magic?

Yeah, like,

I mean, I can tell you a little bit about it right now. What do you want to know?

Is there anything that would hinder my spellcasting while bored? I just had to teleport and whatnot.

Yeah, the only thing that we can't have is none of the material on the train can be tele- so the entire train is under an anti-teleport spell.

But he's got a good reason, Nutty. It's a good reason.

You know I trap when I see one.

As far as the payload that we're transporting, there's a couple of varieties of protection spells that they put on that, but I'm not at Liberty. I don't even know. You know, I'm here running the logistics and moving the train materials around, but I can tell you that no personnel is to enter, exit, or be involved around that train car. Once it's sealed up, which has just happened, No one on board has access to that room. There's another individual on the other side of the dock in Ka who will be able to open that car. And if that car is opened ahead of time, there are a variety of protection spells that will trigger a car. to protect the cargo. So that was one of the things to deter any activity was that we do not have keys on board to re-unlock that once it is sealed.

All right.

Would you want us to be stationed outside that cart? Or do you want us just to be on hand?

You know, I leave. I trust your judgment on how you need to protect that payload. You have to work with the other parties as well. Please, all three of you, coordinate to protect the payload as best as possible. You are the experts in this, not me. I am just here to make sure that the actual flight goes according to plan and that the investors are happy.

Well, thank you for answering my questions.

And I continue to get back on the train.

And if we are telepathically bonded, I relay all this to the team.

so that is that telepathy do i need to do i just have it or do i need to do anything to get it

Jake said he cast Helpathic Bond on us, right?

So there is the bonded mind teamwork feat that you can also take. It's a bit redundant, but it operates supernaturally. So you can do it in an anti-magic scenario. Whereas if we go into... Yeah.

You said that's a deep

You have to be inside of them.

But I mean, I'd rather save six feats.

Oh, no, it's one feet. It's lovely.

Okay.

But wait, you already have a spell for it, Jake?

You said you already have a spell for it?

How long does a spell last?

Permanent.

Yeah, total spelled. Well, it costs like 12,000. It costs like 12,000 gold, right?

It's in chat.

you casting on all of us? So you took... So generous.

I will... You can take that up by a cut.

It's more than your cut.

We're getting more than 12,000 gold. It's not per person, is it?

Yeah, she's only going to be like 2,000 or 3,000, right?

It should be.

Shit is 12, man.

Yeah, I know, but per person.

party of five or six it's only like two thousand

Wait, what's $12,000?

To cast permanency.

We know anything about the old boys and the war forged?

We know the old boys are old and the warforged are forged for war.

In war.

The Warforged are more robots than they are sentient.

Do you think they would take offense at that?

We'll check next time we see you there. Let's get into a bar fight.

I say we explore the explore the card and see where best to defend this thing at is

Wait, did we ever figure out, are we working for the train company? Do we have authority on the train? Or are we private security that happens to be on the train because there's some valuable cargo?

I'm not sure, Pat, but what's the, yeah, read us our Miranda act, if you will.

Alright, so I'm back. Okay, you were hired by the Turgeth Space Program itself. The Turgeth Space Program itself is transporting valuable material on a fast transport that does not involve teleportation. They don't want to transport by boat. They don't want to transport by...

Rules of engagement.

This was in their mind the fastest, safest way to have material transported with private security. It's also the one that is going to promote the space program the most because it's coupled with this other fantastic new invention. They're both inventions from the Turgis empire. It's their transcontinental fast SkyTrain program. And then also they get to advertise their space program being almost complete. And so that's the win in their mind. So that's what they're doing. And your job is you're hired by them to do it. Now, they own the train. They also own the material that's being transported. So you're hired by the Turgis government, essentially.

Do they own the Warforged?

They do not. That's a private security company that they hired.

Do we know anything about the Old Boys or the Warforged? Do we have a...

roaming knowledge local.

Can I get in on that role?

See what we, see what we, see what we got.

17.

Okay, so...

30 is really high, 25 is really high. 17 is pretty good. Okay, so...

with that 17 ozon you know the lamp is the paladin and the leader his name's corwin you know that the marisol thane is the archmage you know that brother holleron is the cleric and vest is the rogue you've just heard of them

That's a lot of cash.

I'm not going to keep those in mind, but what is the significance of all these people?

They're, that's just an adventuring party that's made a name for themselves.

Oh, this is the old boys. So they're just like an adventure party.

They're an adventuring party. They've been in, they're like 70. They've been in the news. They've kind of come out of retirement. This is more of a publicity thing for them. They're talented people, but they're just old. They're on tour again, doing their thing.

They're like 70.

So they're senior to us, probably also level.

they're senior they're also higher level than you guys they're 18.

Oh, shit. He didn't tell us that.

I was going to ask, but I was like, it's probably rude to ask the levels.

Awesome. Yeah, no.

Didn't have to tell us that.

No, but you know...

I fucking love it. We're safe now.

Okay, what level are the workforce?

Well, you actually don't.

Unless they suck.

you don't know that i was on but these other fellas that rolled higher do and they can relay the info but okay so rich and jess you guys know a little bit more you know that they are a famous retired party you know they're level 18 in their prime you know they've aged you know that they're mo you think they're mostly hired for the press photos

The hell we are.

This is more of a publicity stunt than anything, but not to be taking, you know, take them seriously. They're still about 18. You know that they've fallen from grace. You know that Marisol is currently dying of an aging curse and is eating her casting.

I still, you know, yeah.

You know that Holoran is a drunk and he's difficult for everyone. You know Vess is shady as fuck and was kicked out of the entire country of Macathleer.

Oh, shit. Do I know what for?

And his band. You do not know what for. You know that their famous victories are real, but decades old. You know that Corwin is the sharpest one of the group, and the only one who appears to take the job seriously.

Which one is Corwin?

Corwin is the he's called the lamp and he's the paladin he's the leader

Okay.

So that's a shady, all red, drunk, bar of salt.

Did anyone roll above 30?

Okay.

I might actually have an untyped bonus somewhere around here. I just didn't finish getting...

Would knowledge history work for that?

like luck bonus

Yeah, knowledge history works as well.

who fights in mud. Nope. That's what you all know about this group.

Okay, now as far as the Warforged goes, same roles or new roles?

Yeah, new rule. I'll do one.

Don't do well. Don't do well.

What you want, engineering?

Is history okay for this one as well? Because I have higher history.

You can roll history or knowledge local.

Knowledge engineering will not do it for you.

All right. Anything up to 20? So, Nadi...

Nutty, you got 23. You know that Unit 7 is a Turgith Warforged Guard Squad. You know that there are Iron Golem built. They're heavily armored. You know that there are four units. Prime and Seven's two to four are contracted and not sworn and take... wait hold on four units prime and seven two four

sorry ignore that you know that they are they're contracting out sworn and they take orders only from the manifest so like they are hard-coded to follow their like the they're just hard-coded to follow

Destiny.

They're not going to turn on us out of nowhere because of whatever. Like, no, they are. They're pretty sturdy on that.

Unless the manifest is corrupted. Yeah.

unless they're coded to.

Whatever their manifest is, whatever they're, they've been programmed for a mission. And then that is the only thing that they will do. But that is also one of their weaknesses.

do we know if the manifest is on the train with them or Is that like some guy did that in a different city and sent him on a train? Is it a manifested person or...

A manifest is like an instruction.

OK.

And what was their specific order?

You know,

But no one got on with them.

Yeah, you don't know that. Well, unless you roll above a 25.

What for knowledge this?

36, but that's knowledge history.

oh all right no that's perfect 36.

They got a 28 on Knowledge Local.

Okay, so with Jess's knowledge, we've unlocked all of the knowledges here for this particular question. You know that Prime is the leader. So Unit Prime, Unit is one of them. And they act as one, but Prime is the one that leads them. You know that their record is spotless. You know that they've never lost any cargo on any of their contracts. They have a spotless record.

Hell damn, really?

yeah with a 25 or higher you know that they follow the manifest to the letter if it says protect the cargo they will do it literally even if it makes no sense

Would they tell us their manifest or would they keep that secret?

They have

Okay.

They have never, oh, I'm still answering that, each one. They've never failed the delivery, but no one's ever asked what they do when a delivery can't be saved. they have a spotless record.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, it looks like we get to ask him some fucking quick pro quotes, man. I got to ask him a The fourth law of robotics.

Now, you know,

Were they all that off these?

So now you rolled above 30, right?

you have you have knowledge that of this exact warforged crew and you know that they follow exact rules if the card was about to be taken they would destroy it that if the trains and all the like if only the trains engineer has the override code they would do something drastic to you know like they have a deny protocol. They will not fail.

Lola's victory.

They will not allow the logic of their mission to fail. That is their biggest weakness.

Okay.

and one of the biggest risks of hiring them. And then let's see.

but you are not sure what the exact program they've been programmed with is

Okay, I spelled the class.

And they're in car three, right?

R2.

Two, that's right. Civilians are in three.

Well, it doesn't seem like strolling the train is frowned upon, right? Because like the dining car is car seven or something.

Yeah, we've got to go to Dining, or at least...

Yeah, no... there's a center there's a center hallway that you know people are moving about the train

Take you to the best.

Yeah, let's go to the pub. Let's go to the tavern.

Well, the pup is in the opposite direction also. Like, there's two cars in front of us. Do we want to go front, then back? Or, like, to do the full sweep?

Is it a pub different than the dining code, Kyle?

There's a drink, there's a bar car that's a combination of both observation cars you saw a bunch of liquor being moved into. The dining cars are like a dinner car that also has like an area to hang out in. The observation cars in the center and in the front are both like socializing cars. And then as you go through the train and the passenger, various passenger cars, some of them are sleepers on like one side some of them are like you know when you go through a train car and you see like people seated front facing each other or like a table and they're playing cards and you open up the little side door and you join them there's a lot of those you want to start walking through the cars going towards the front of those three cars in front of you or walking towards the back of those 10 cars behind you

Or you guys want to go towards the workforce? I feel like Mac.

Sounds good. Yeah, I fucking...

I say we do both one and then the other.

I put on my best kimono of the region, formal kimono of the region, and we just go. And then, yeah, I mean, stuff's not going to pop off until Act 2. We're good to have a drink or so. We're fine.

Yeah, there's no reason to panic. Let's just walk around, you know, people walk.

Great. Get to know the guests. Get to hear the guests.

I mean, there's probably nothing going to happen at all. It's probably going to be like an easy fucking job.

Back to, man. Yeah, we're just collecting the deets. Rubbing some elbows. Squacka walka.

Always is.

i mean we got warforged in here they've never lost we'll be fine we don't have to do

Nothing else, Sam. We don't start any shit. We just immediately rub over any fucking gifts he tries to give us. He's like, please, sir, the mystical scroll. We're like, this kid's got a mystical scroll. Can you put him in secondary, please? I think he snuck this mystical scroll on here. God, can you believe these rapscallions lately? Jeez.

It's a roll of elbows.

Yeah.

And y'all did a job well done. You trained good, grown safely. The Turgut government rewarded you and everything went off without a hitch.

We're all just paranoid fucking arresting the civilians. Someone's bad here. I know it. There's a sleeper agent.

What are you reading? That book is way too old for you.

Yeah, this one-eyed witch is trying to give me the sapphires of Kvashk. Get her. Arrest this woman for smuggling. Ugh. The filth they let in here.

put them on a train for 10 days and have them become the problem.

So you guys start meandering through the cars?

all right so you're in car four and as you move into car five it's a passenger car you have some people still loading in you see luggage you see people talking there's families and these are pretty wide cars you know they're like there's like on the left side you've got like many like 10 20 feet of like of space people are like loading into these like long cars and then you have like a divider wall and there's like a lot of private cars they're just not private cars but like private rooms within the cars and then you have like open seating areas and people are just talking and like opening window like one of them's a smoking car So this is like actively people smoking pipe tobacco. People are starting to get a little poker game going. And you're like, oh, cool. There's a lot of like... regular old people activity, not old people, but regular activity of the people going on. And then you keep moving.

So is it like 20 feet to get through a door? How big is a doorway to get between

Before we move too far,

Doorway is like a standard door size. Everything is a little bit more enlarged on the Skytrain. Nothing seems like a tight, cramped train.

So it's less than 10 feet.

In the

Like if you're 10 feet tall, you would have to squeeze in there.

If you're 10 feet tall, you still have to duck into the doorway. Everything's made for average-sized humans.

Did you say that the prisoner was on the fourth car before we get too far?

No, that's your car.

He was around he's around eight somewhere. He's probably the old guys.

Yeah, somewhere back there.

and so this next car is mostly passengers and there's like a hallway in the middle and people loading it on their luggage

Anyone? I don't know. Anything to see in people's glances?

I mean, it's just kind of regular people doing regular people stuff. You can roll me sense motive. You can roll me perception to see if there's anything weird happening here. But at first glance, no.

How recognizable are us? Was it like known to the civilians on the train that we were part of the security?

know basically it's just they know they know that it's first like everyone's very excited because this is like the first crossing like these people paid good money for these tickets to kind of a part of this experience they don't really know

So they just think of us as civilians, right?

Yeah, I mean, it's not a huge secret that this is a transporting, for better or for worse, the Turkic government decided to make this a publicity event. So it's not like they're transporting these components in secret. And you get the vibe that there's like... a little bit of concern as to like, well, like, why would they, why wouldn't this be secret? Like, is there, like, if anyone didn't want this to happen, this would be the time to do it. So, like, people are, like, a little nervous that, like,

Hence the triple security.

it's so out in the open almost like a flex like no one can fuck with us but also you know so that there's a little bit of air of that like yes this like almost like the titanic it's like this unsinkable ship like the we're taking the maiden voyage of like this and

Some definite hubris.

So, and some hubris go from it.

This is the only train that actually does what it does. They don't have it.

this is the only train that does what it does currently and they've made huge promises like you've heard rumors that they're going to expand this network across all continents like you don't need teleportation to get cheap international travel you don't need access to magics you don't need to take ships you can get there in you know a day

Do we know how much a ticket would lose?

or less.

I do kind of a James Bond thing where I just sit over... I put my arms on the counter and I tell everybody, I'm like, just so we don't lose sight, I'm going to see if I can't link my mind with that prisoner real quick. I couldn't really get a beat on him, but...

Before we get too far.

I think he might try something. And I want to try scrying him.

Real fast, Pat, I'm wearing something that can see invisibility and ethereal things before we get too far.

What are you doing?

She can see invisible and ethereal things.

So if you have a gnome jerking off in the corner, we're going to fucking know about it, Pat.

You fucking know that shit.

decisions based off of traumas.

Sorry, it's the only way I can do it. Sorry, not sorry. Look away! Don't look at me! Don't look at me!

She blows.

Ah!

He's actually only invisible while he's masturbating. It's the only way he can be invisible.

Yeah, he blinks in and out of both planes while he steps to jerk on, jerk off.

We don't get to choose our Super Bowl.

And there's a blessing and a curse.

I think he survived so long. He's literally just jerking off for 24 hours as he's running from everybody.

You don't want to see this invisible. You don't want to see. It's... It's a mess down there.

Pat, I tried to scry the prisoner.

Well, hold on. So you're looking, Jess, you're looking for invisible things.

No, she's going to let you know that she has the ability to

Okay, so if there's something invisible, you have seen visibility all the time on.

Yeah, there's, I'm wearing a cloak or something. Sorry, I walked away from my screen. But, and ethereal. It's a shroud.

I'm good.

Okay, solid. I will keep that in mind. And then, Jake, you are scrying.

Yes.

All right, SassNuke. SassNukeCastScry, it's got one hour casting time. How are you doing this?

just yeah just at the at the desk just literally

You're going to sit there for one hour?

I didn't know it was that long. I thought it was a lot shorter.

You're gazing into a bowl of silver liquid or silver marijuana or a pool of water and you begin a one-hour casting. Unless you don't want to do that right now.

I thought it was a lot shorter.

I don't. I don't. I don't. Go ahead. Go ahead. That's a while. We're not really putting down boots yet. We're still moving.

Vibe it out, then scram. We can't, I don't know, maybe we just go talk to him normally, you know, like normal people do.

Fuck that. You know how that works.

I go speak to the prisoner.

Let's not necessarily incorporate the prisoner just yet. Because out of nowhere, you're going to mind link with him and then you're fucking, I don't know. It's going to go sideways. You know it's going to go sideways.

I think we should get in the sky before we do anything that we can get kicked off of the train for.

Also, scrying takes like a fucking hour. So like, you're gonna have to set up

Yeah, so wouldn't you want me to scry? Technically, by your own voition, shouldn't Jake be scrying?

Takes an hour. We'd be in the air.

I say we clear the cart, we clear the cart, gauge all the rooms, and then scrive when you're safely back somewhere.

Deal.

Hey, good call. Okay, well instead of scrying, I'm at the bar and I'm casting contingencies.

I'm making a contingency.

you're not you're not at the bar yet there jake there's a there's a bar in the observation car right behind the main engine car there's a bar in the center that you're getting close to and you've got you're at the you're at car five passenger car right now and then you're gonna have car six

which you are about to enter and then car 7 is where the bar is

Yeah, well, let's keep going. I'm going with you guys to the bar.

number one is the observation a forward observation car with Barr.

Open bar.

You're not sure. You're just seeing things as we go. Like...

You have seen... The map's pretty close. It's pretty close. Close enough to run on. So the first one you've seen is the observation car. You're not sure what's in the second car. The third car is...

You said civilians. You said civilians? We're loading in a second.

Civilians is in the second car. Third is the Warforged. Fourth is you guys. Fifth is Passengers. You haven't been in the sixth car yet. You haven't been in the seventh car, but your seventh car appears to be in the... The middle observation car, which means the eighth car is going to be old boys. You're not sure what's in the ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th, or 13th. The 14th has the hardcore.

Okay, when we get to seven, I want to do some like, I'm on board with what Jake's up to.

I was told there were cakes.

Where's the KKP at?

We're going to stop and stand actually car seven. And I think we should sit on the side of the car that's really close to car eight.

Yeah.

Roll me a D8 someone.

Just someone, not all of us.

That's not my name.

Whoever wants to.

I just did.

Chess, roll a four. Okay.

Okay, thank you.

I'm scared.

So are we in the dining car where there's vittles?

Now we're in five civilian area. We're about to go to six.

and then behind you in front of the war like so your car you saw two windows the window going towards the car going to car five which is one you're in and then be right in the warforge there's a car which is right in front of you there's a warforge standing like right in front of the door just like guarding their door but also guarding passage through the door so passengers are a little like nervous to try to get to the forward observation car you did notice that and you kind of hear mumblings that like they're kind of making the passengers nervous so most activity of like socializing is happening in the central observation car which is in two cars down

So this guy like standing in our way, like we can't get past him.

No, if you turn around and go through your car and then try to get to car three, then yes.

Is there any way to get on top of the car for...

on top

Yeah, you leave the train in between the front car balcony or the rear car balcony. And then from there, you would probably climb up somehow. There's no ladder from there directly to the top of the train. But that would be the access or through a window and up.

Do we have a guesstimate on how fast this bitch is going?

It's not moving yet.

Shit, OK.

But the people are almost fully loaded. The next car, you see they're loading a bunch of food and drinks. This appears to be like a galley and store car. But you're not in there yet. Do you continue moving to the next car?

Yes, sir.

All right. So you leave the first, this car opens up. There's like a, you're on the outside of the platform. You now see the outside hustle and bustle again before you move to the next car. And you start hearing whistles. You start hearing, seeing people like there's almost no action of loading going on anymore. You like the last final food crates are going into the car right in front of you. People are kind of leaving the car as through the doorway that you're about to with like empty crates and empty this and empty that. And they're like, all right, we're about ready to go. I was like, okay, we're doing final checks. And you've got a couple of people that are moving up and around as you're pushing through. And then you see a bunch of people like waving their hats and like, whoa. It's gonna be fucking sick. The guy smashes a bottle of champagne on the side of the front of the cloud breaker. And you hear the crinkling of the glass. You see a bunch of like photos and psh.

You start hearing the whining of the levitation stones. Do you enter the next car?

We're still entering car six, are we?

You're entering car six, yeah.

You see shelves and shelves of preserved food. You see shelves and shelves of fresh food. You see casts lashed to the walls. You see various stored things battened down for the two-night crossing to Ka. You see spirits, cabinets and cabinets of giant oak stands bolted at the floors near stoves. You see brass fittings that are... all over the place to have beer coming, flowing out to move it around to where they're cooking. You see the air smells like meat. It smells like meals being prepped. You see chefs that are cooking. You see dining sets that are being organized on the left side. On the right side, you see things hustle and bustle. And all this is through glass. Like nothing's exposed to you as you walk through except for like you're viewing the hustle and bustle as you walk through the center walkway.

is like a kitchen sort of thing.

It's like the, yeah, it's the kitchen and the store and the galley. It's where they're making all of the food for dining.

Pat, I'm going to try something. As a standard action, I can go ethereal one round for my character level. So I'm just going to try to pop in the ethereal plane and then pop out real quick.

Okay. Seeing if it works.

Does that, yeah, testing the waters.

Yeah.

you are able to enter the ethereal plane.

All right.

and three-wheel plane and moving things is kind of disputed. How do you take that? Do you have

Rich kind of talked to me about this, and I am of the mindset that... the you even though you're in a moving object you're So is the Earth is also moving. So if you... You are in a moving object within a moving object. You move with the object. You're jumping on a plane and the plane isn't just going... thousand miles an hour and smashing you into the rear of it you are move the thing that you are on in the ethereal plane is also moving now do things dilate and warp and lens sure but you don't have to worry about popping out outside of the train that is your take on it

I'm going to knock that down. One.

You said there are workers in this car, Pat?

Tons of workers going to town.

Okay. Do they look, how do they, how do I want to put this? Do they look like their lives are hell or do they look like, you know, does anyone look happy to be at work?

Yeah, they actually do. It seems like this is a pretty prestigious event, pretty cool thing to work on. They don't look like slaves. They're working. This is their job. This is what they're doing.

they don't they don't seem like they're being held against their will or that their lives are hell

I don't need to talk to them about joining a union.

That's not the vibe you got now.

All right, let's see door number seven.

it opens up into an observation car

The observation car is... You see glass panes curving floor to ceiling here. The floor is entirely glass. You can see down below you as you're moving, which is pretty cool. It seems like an engineering feat to make this work. You see the entire top is glass. The only metal you see is just holding everything framed together. which is as little metal as possible to make this glass car function. You see polished rails everywhere. Everything has been shined up. You see a bar, a bunch of different beers a bunch of people laughing enjoying themselves stools are filled asses in seats people are just wandering around it's a very it's like a 40 foot wide plus five foot like center walkway there's a staircase leading up very tall to like a little mini balcony up at the top and looking down into the car as well. So there's like, an entire ground floor of people hanging out where they can observe around them and then there's like a like brass polished brass staircase going up with like a little area up top where they can look down upon the inside of the room and also look out and have cocktails and hang out and eat in a less formal dining setting

This space sounds rad and also terrifying. I head over to get a drink.

All right. He's a bartender. He's a tiefling. And he has asked you, what would you like?

What kind of beer do y'all have?

I've got mostly beer from the Turgath Empire, and I've also got beer from the Kingdom of... from Gay Theory. So I've got spicy beer, desert ales, I've got... I've got very...

I interrupt him and say, spicy beers, spicy beers.

Yeah, he gives you a spicy beer. And it's pretty hot.